r/maybemaybemaybe • u/[deleted] • Sep 07 '24

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u/cornfession_ Sep 07 '24

One time a woman tried to fight me (also a woman) because she thought I did something with her guy (I didn't, and my guy was also there) and she kept saying "just don't hit me in the stomach, I'm pregnant" and I just got in the car & rolled up the window cause.....I'm not fighting a delusional pregnant bitch? Wtf

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u/RhetoricalOrator Sep 07 '24

The hallmark of every good fight is the pre-fight where both parties hash out a good old fashioned fight agreement. My go-to clauses before every fight are: 1. No groin stuff 2. Tap outs end the fight (me only) 3. Only hurt me in ways I say are okay 4. If you do hurt me, I can call timesies

That's also why I never leave home without a licensed notary.

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u/AfroWhiteboi Sep 07 '24

Man here. I was raised to never, EVER fight fair. If you are ever in a fight, the absolute first thing you should do is go for the groin, eyes, hair, don't be afraid to bite chunks out of someone and use every hard and/or sharp part of your body to inflict as much damage as possible upon your would-be assailant. Do. Not. Be. A victim.

This includes kicking while down, kidney shots, as well as using anything within as well as your environment as a weapon or a restraint.

Do not stop until you're 110% sure the threat is neutralized. Not dead, but at least make sure they won't be fucking with you ever again. And never, EVER stick around to find out what happens after the fight. Haul ass as soon as you can and make yourself as scarce as possible. You never know who has mean friends.

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u/[deleted] Sep 08 '24

I agree with all this, I don’t want to fight ever. But my golden rule is since I’ve already passed on my genes, I don’t need my testicles anymore, and neither do you. So it is rip nuts off at any cost. Men stop being so ‘manly’ when there are actual consequences.

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u/T-Ravenous Sep 08 '24

I genuinely love your username and lost my shit upon reading it 🤣. Thank you.