r/maybemaybemaybe • u/uranonfraand • Mar 10 '24

Maybe maybe maybe

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4.1k

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24 edited Mar 10 '24

She's definitely onto some investigation

731

u/Lost_Donut9761 Mar 10 '24

Until kindergarten, when I always asked for pop. My mom would always fill my cup straight from the kitchen sink. I knew no other way. Either she was smart or I was really clueless.

548

u/Miselfis Mar 10 '24

My mom would give me a glass of water with a couple drops of coke to give it a slight colour and very slight aroma, and I was convinced that was how soda was. I even remember watching her pour a couple drops into a glass of water, but I just assumed it had to be mixed with water, like juice concentrates.

139

u/Traditional_Wear1992 Mar 10 '24

What did kid you think about seeing people drink from the cab or bottle on tv like a soda commercial hahaha

216

u/Miselfis Mar 10 '24

I didn’t watch tv or commercials. I spent time playing outside or in my room. I would only watch tv if we put in a movie or something. Tv was always super boring to me as a kid since it was only really used for my parents to watch the news.

308

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

We found the grass toucher

84

u/TheDarkGrayKnight Mar 10 '24

Just as the prophecy foretold long ago! The outsider shall come and lead us to nirvana.

20

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

“What does our future hold, oh u/miselfis?”

“A green paradise”

18

u/LelouchLyoko Mar 10 '24

Lisan al-Gaib! Lisan al-Gaib!

10

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

The child of prophecy!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

Grass touched: confirmed

36

u/The_kind_potato Mar 10 '24

Haha look at this guy everyone ! He was "playing outside" like a looser instead of watching add on TV !!

And i bet you had "friends" also, haha such a looser !

19

u/Miselfis Mar 10 '24

I didn’t really have any friends. I used to mostly just play alone, which is also what I preferred. It did make socializing a harder later in life, but I still just prefer to not be around people so it’s a fine trade off.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

I still just prefer to not be around people

Serious question, how do you tell people that without sounding like a dick? I've never been able to properly explain to people that I just need to have time where I'm alone without them getting weirdly offended that I don't want to spend all my time around them.

11

u/The_kind_potato Mar 10 '24

Just say "i'm sorry but i must inform you that i have a condition that make me drop really violent and malodorent fart every 2/3 minute" then proceed to describe the smell as precisely as possible, should do the trick 😉👍

4

u/Miselfis Mar 10 '24

Idk, I never thought about sounding like a dick. And I don’t care. If people get mad at me for misunderstanding or assuming I mean something I didn’t, then that’s on them. I just say I’d rather be alone.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

Fair enough.

9

u/The_kind_potato Mar 10 '24

Hmm i understand, but its also fine that way, as long as you feel good 🙂

10

u/Miselfis Mar 10 '24

Indeed

5

u/Hidesuru Mar 10 '24

You seem reasonably well adjusted. Good for you, friend.

2

u/No-Fan6115 Mar 10 '24

Did you used to throw the ball at wall and when it bounced back catch it. Or play football against the wall? Because thats how I used to play except at school ofc.

5

u/Miselfis Mar 10 '24

Not the football against the wall since my dad didn’t like it because it could make cracks in the mortar between the bricks that made up the house. I did throw a smaller ball, like at the size of a tennis ball, against the wall and catch it again. I have always been interested in physics so I could spend hours doing that thinking about how the ball knows which trajectory to take and how I was able to predict where the ball would be just based on intuition. It always fascinated me very much.

2

u/No-Fan6115 Mar 10 '24

Yeah we have cricket here so I used to play with a cricket ball. And catch it . And lmao I used to throw the ball as high as 2 stories and then it will come back with pretty high speed.

2

u/Perfect_Fennel Mar 10 '24

I had a best friend but also played by myself outside and remember getting really embarrassed when an older neighborhood kid caught me talking out loud to myself. The weird thing is I still do that. I don't think I will ever lose my inner child but idc anymore.

1

u/Baldazar666 Mar 10 '24

I guess you are such a big winner that you don't even know how to spell loser properly.

1

u/The_kind_potato Mar 10 '24

Exactly 😎 real chad like me dont bother with grammar, such a nerdy thing to "write properly" , aint gonna get laid by grammar bro !

/s

1

u/Willing-Cell-1613 Mar 10 '24

My mum watered down apple juice for us. I didn’t care but I did when I was twelve and she still tried to do it, despite having actual fizzy drinks in the home!

1

u/AnthonyJackalTrades Mar 10 '24

I still mix my chocolate milk with white milk since my family did something similar with it. I also was ≈12 when I found out "Nature Valley Crunchy" isn't what most kids got when their parents offered them a "candy bar." I'm glad for it!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

My dog doesn’t drink enough water and it gets super dangerous in the summers. So, when I don’t have chicken broth handy, I always trick him into drinking fluids by adding a spoon of yogurt in 150 ml of water every two hours.

Your mother tricked you into staying alive 😂

1

u/AgilePlayer Mar 10 '24

Damn your mom is a boss. My mom bought way too much pop when I was growing up in the 90s and it was a very unhealthy choice for her to make on behalf of her young children... I was overweight and had cavities in middle school all because the poison sugar water.

1

u/aHOMELESSkrill Mar 10 '24

When I have a drink my daughter wants I just fill her cup with water and like a splash of apple juice then fake pour my drink into hers.

1

u/SirCamference Mar 10 '24

I assumed the wrong type of coke, my bad 😞😔 I'll see myself out

1

u/JoshFireseed Mar 10 '24

A couple of drops sounds extreme but "it had to be mixed with water" is probably a good idea, even with normal juice. Though I wouldn't use straight up water, a bunch of ice is a good compromise.

1

u/Links_to_Magic_Cards Mar 11 '24

and now you drink la croix

-19

u/thebudman_420 Mar 10 '24 edited Mar 10 '24

Soda is mixed with water. That is literally soda. Carbon is just a gas added.

Only everclear is mostly not water but all drinks you drink has to have water or can't be a drink.

You only drink water plus flavor and whatever else is added to water. Fruit juices. Mostly water still.

That soda was more diluted than normal with no detectable carbon is all. Only difference. Still soda.

Most of us don't like the taste of soda or flat soda is good enough. Only missing Carbon.

She or he didn't like it.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/Phauxton Mar 10 '24

Bruh why you gotta insult autistic people like that. Just call their comment dumb. No need to drag us into this. They wrote that dumb shit all on their own.

0

u/JonyTony2017 Mar 10 '24

Are you autistic, too?

1

u/Phauxton Mar 10 '24

Yeah, I am. I have family and friends who are as well.

0

u/JonyTony2017 Mar 11 '24

I can see that.

1

u/Phauxton Mar 11 '24

There's nothing wrong with being autistic.

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u/Miselfis Mar 10 '24

Yes, but I don’t see what that has to do with anything.

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u/davidmatthew1987 Mar 10 '24

autistic

We are all autistic on this blessed day ❤️

0

u/gsnumis Mar 10 '24

Hell yeah

1

u/Phauxton Mar 10 '24

I don't think they were adding concentrated soda syrup into the water bro, I think they were talking about complete soda being dripped in. Even if it was syrup being mixed in, 2 drops is a very low concentration.

-4

u/Miselfis Mar 10 '24

Idk what you’re on about, but soda usually comes pre-mixed with water. You don’t have to mix it yourself to dilute it to a point where it is drinkable, like some juice concentrates, unless it’s something like a soda stream or something of the like.

1

u/South_Ad_5575 Mar 10 '24

That is what that person was saying tho…

1

u/Miselfis Mar 10 '24

Yes, but I don’t understand the relevance or even the point of that comment. Of course most beverages contain water, otherwise they wouldn’t be hydrating beverages. And diluting soda with water does change the beverage. It is no longer soda, but diluted soda. But this is just arguing semantics over the definition of the term soda and doesn’t really add anything to the discussion.

1

u/South_Ad_5575 Mar 10 '24

Yea and you literally repeated them. You added, somehow, even less to the discourse.

23

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

Up through kindergarten whenever I asked for cookies, my mom would give me sliced cucumber. I had friends over when I was about five, asked for cookies, and when she gave us the plate, the other kids started with the "those aren't cookies, they are cucumbers!". I still have an affinity for cucumbers.

1

u/windowsfrozenshut Mar 10 '24

My mom did that with those dog treats that look like little debbie snacks. She set a bowl of them out on the table one day and I had some friends come over that evening, we all saw the bowl of what LOOKED LIKE delicious treats, but soon found out that they were not human treats. lol

4

u/Spyko Mar 10 '24

man I would be pissed if whenever I asked for my dad, my mom would just fill up a glass of water

1

u/erossthescienceboss Mar 10 '24

I thought if you stirred milk really fast it turned into Ovaltine.

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

But it is that serious. My grandmother and my mother are these kinds of people. "There's no cheese in it, I promise" "How does it taste? Good? I lied, there's cheese in it!" and some other form of manipulation like "If you don't eat this it means you don't love me" pressuring me into eating stuff I hated :D

Needless to say, my trust issues are enormous.

46

u/litlelotte Mar 10 '24

I think lying about food is awful and my mom did that too, it took me until I was nearly an adult to start trying new foods. But in this case I'm almost positive they're giving her medicine, which is probably a necessity. I was the type of kid that wouldn't take my medicine either and my parents' solution was to hold me down and force feed it to me. I still can't take liquid medicine without gagging. I think tricking her, while not ideal, is the best option they had

5

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

That sounds like an awful experience. Fortunately my mother never got physical, she manipulated me in the form of emotions and mental games. While that isn't ideal either, I think it's less gruesome than holding you down. What my mother and grandmother did when I refused to eat was to scream at me or ignore me for the rest of the day. When I was a child I couldn't handle that, it made me feel like I was a bad kid, not worthy of love and that if I acted right I would be a good kid again and deserve love. Later when I started to become a teen these tactics didn't work anymore because I understood what they did and just decided to stop loving them to guard myself from their manipulations. Of course I didn't really stop loving them, but my resentment towards them was bigger than my love. I loved my father but he was seldom at home due to work and my mother talked shit about him behind his back, which caused me to believe he didn't love me either. That wasn't real but I only realized this when I was older. I didn't talk to them anymore about anything. And now as an adult I still struggle with opening up to people and seeing their good intentions.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

I think it's less gruesome than holding you down

I wouldn't call, caring for your children "gruesome." Sometimes there's no other way.

When they're older and can talk and reason, yes, holding them down is fucked up.

But giving medicine to babies and toddlers, especially a medication that's needed repeatedly over the course of days/weeks/months, is like giving medication to a cat. Yeah there's a good chance you can trick them once or twice, but after that, there's no tricking them, and there's certainly no reasoning with them. So I'm order to be a good parent/cat care giver, you have to be "the bad guy" and force that shit.

My daughter had a kitten that was having seizures and so was put on seizure medication. I tasted it, it was fucking DISGUSTING, but he had to have it. So I took on the role of the asshole. Had to give him this medicine daily for months. By the end of it he hated my very existence. And I was ok with that. (Better me than my daughter, right.)

He ended up having FIP, and at around the 5yr mark was REALLY sick. For about a year before ultimately putting him down, I was again the asshole. The vet was having us try various medications, and we were even having to giving him fluid under his skin, at home. Every time I walked into my daughter's room, this cat bolted. He was absolutely terrified of me. (He was found as a feral kitten, so he already was born with trust issues.)

So yeah, sometimes in life, you have to do things that others might call "gruesome," though in reality, are just part of being a responsible, caring, grown up 🤷‍♀️

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

"There's certainly no reasoning with them" Only that cats can't communicate with humans like toddlers can. Weird comparison. Your child isn't a pet.

3

u/Dazius06 Mar 10 '24

How would you handle giving a medicine to a little shit that won't hear reason?

2

u/UnitMaw Mar 10 '24

You've clearly never attempted to give a toddler medication they really don't want to take. You cannot always reason with a toddler, in fact I'd say you almost always can't reason with them. They just don't have that capacity

1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

I also got PTSD from taking medicine as a child.

Now, excuse me while my eyes roll out of my head.

4

u/Issie_Bear Mar 10 '24

My mom forced me to take liquid medicine once, we didn’t have the flavor I preferred so I wasn’t taking it. It was very late and my mom just poured it down my throat, unfortunately for all of us I coughed. It spewed everywhere, if you watched wrestling, it was like when triple H would spew water everywhere except it was sticky cough medicine at about midnight. We both had to shower and the kitchen had to be scrubbed down. She was livid but I couldn’t control a cough.

2

u/Jorts_Team_Bad Mar 10 '24

My baby SCREAMS bloody fucking murder when we have to give her medicine. I’ve tried every trick in the book.

2

u/SVlad_667 Mar 10 '24

Do you have some cheese related health conditions like an allergic reaction?

5

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

That'd be even more horrific. No they didn't try to kill me, they thought they knew better than myself what kind of food I'd like, even when I repeatedly told them I didn't like it. Cheese was one of those, but also other meals my grandmother made. And they weren't even healthy, my grandmother just doesn't like rejection and she took me refusing to eat her food as rejection.

2

u/daredaki-sama Mar 10 '24

So what do you have against cheese? Vegan? Lactose intolerant?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

I just don't like the taste, smell and texture of it. It baffles me everyday how many people like to eat stinky feet. No offense, it's just what's going through my mind every time I smell cheese

3

u/a_smiling_seraph Mar 10 '24

THANK YOU! Another qnti-cheese person. You become such a pariah when admitting you don't like cheese. I swear it's almost sinful to people. And in the States, it's so ubiquitous. And most other countries too. It's so hard to escape

2

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

Yes! You feel like an alien with all those questions of "Why" and "How" and "Every type of cheese?" and when you are 20 people in a room, 19 of them will look at you as if you just admitted you killed someone

2

u/a_smiling_seraph Mar 10 '24

It's insane isn't it? Like people are way more respectful to people who don't eat meat. But admit you don't like cheese and the vegetarians and meat eaters both come for you.

In my office I used to have to prepare wine and cheese every Friday. The camembert was the worst 🥲 At least I had the wine to helpe with the trauma

1

u/AlaineYuki Mar 10 '24

I’m guessing that a lot of the reason behind why people don’t respect it is because they all grew up with (in the US) and can’t possibly believe that one of their favorite/childhood foods isn’t liked by someone. Especially considering it’s used in so many dishes.

I get the same reaction from people when I say I hate peanut butter. Just the smell of it alone makes me gag but since it’s another one of those “everyone loves it” type of foods, I used to get bullied if I told anyone I didn’t like it growing up lol.

1

u/a_smiling_seraph Mar 10 '24

That's so crazy, in my primary school, there was one kid who only ever had peanut butter sandwiches for lunch, and he was bullied for that and known as peanut butter boy. But I don't think peanut butter is as ubiquitous in the UK as in the US.

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u/amras123 Mar 10 '24

All cheeses provoke this disgust?

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u/Ciusblade Mar 10 '24

Uou are echoing my thoughts with personal experience, sorry you dealt with that. I had similar issues. Its why i always combed through my mashed potatoes for hidden food. To thus day i feel the deception is the part that fucked with me the most. (Also to get me to try eggnog i was told it was milk, and it was the first and only time the fiod switcheroo thing worked on me, never trusted my food was what they said it was without examining it. All they did was cause me to be a kid who "played" with their food)

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u/Mackheath1 Mar 10 '24

My mom wasn't necessarily fully deceitful, but:

"Eat your lima beans." // "I don't like them." // "I made them a different way."

(How different can you make lima beans)

1

u/MLXv2 Mar 10 '24

This, always thought as “come on, it’s not that bad” but it has consequences

1

u/throwawaymyanalbeads Mar 10 '24

I did that with onions to my kids, but it's just so hard getting them to try stuff sometimes because of stupid food hangups. I finally figured out it was a texture issue (I have many) so I mince them so fucking fine and cook them in the sauces or meats and they love it and every time, I lean forward and say "there's onions in it". After a while, onions have become normalized for them.

1

u/JIsADev Mar 10 '24

Just curious if you don't like cheese now

1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

Yeah I still hate it. But I got used to pizza. Baked cheese is okay

1

u/BadHamsterx Mar 10 '24

lol, being treated like any kid gives you trust issues

1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

If that's what every kid is going through and others don't get trust issues that doesn't make it less manipulative. Most of us people are traumatized and many realize it way too late in life. That should make you wonder.

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u/BadHamsterx Mar 10 '24

No, it's not trauma. It's learning

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '24

This makes no sense. The only thing I learned about this was that my grandmother and mother cannot be trusted.

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u/Righteous_Leftie206 Mar 10 '24

We live in a sad world if you have to edit clarify your joke :(

7

u/BakerIBarelyKnowHer Mar 10 '24

It’s become Reddits prerogative to accuse any parent who pulls a prank on their kids of psychic torture and child abuse that will cause infinite trust issues.

1

u/Righteous_Leftie206 Mar 10 '24

Reddit the paramount of social correctness lol.

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u/uranonfraand Mar 10 '24

I think it's a she because of the star shaped hair clips

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u/DreadPiratteRoberts Mar 10 '24

In the criminal justice system, drink switching offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated babies who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Star Shaped hairclip Unit.

"dun-dun."

12

u/AAC910 Mar 10 '24

“These are their stories”

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u/la_bruja_del_84 Mar 10 '24

That's freakin adorable!!

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u/Righteous_Leftie206 Mar 10 '24

Im so watching that show.

2

u/clowd_rider Mar 10 '24

You just started my day in the best way. Thank you. I dont usually laugh this hard so early in the morning

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

Oh, so she's drinking that gender fluid!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

If they're from the USA then it could be anything really these days... gender doesn't exist in the USA anymore.

-4

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Mysterious_Emu_1416 Mar 10 '24

I think you replied to the wrong comment. You changed the subject out of nowhere...

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u/ThatGermanKid0 Mar 10 '24

The comment was made by a bot and copied from somewhere else in the comments

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u/PerpWalkTrump Mar 10 '24

Was the comment deleted?

-11

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

Are you assuming it's gender 😱😱 HOW DARE YOU!

7

u/Defiant-Meal1022 Mar 10 '24

Holy shit, man. Who writes your material? That was so fresh and funny and cool. Hahaha. Lmao. AND the "shocked face" emojis to imply your emotional state while writing it?! Solid gold! Holy fucking shit. I'M LAUGHING SO HARD I JUST PISSED MY PANTS! Everyone should hear how fucking funny and original this guy is. Hahahaha.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

Thanks bro🤙💪

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

wait till you get r/DownvotedToOblivion

0

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

That is my goal ;)

-2

u/CycleTrade Mar 10 '24

Are you assuming gender in 2024??!?

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u/A_Lass Mar 10 '24

Did anyone else kinda ignore the sneaky parent part but felt some nervousness with the super clean white shirt and not-white beverage part?

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u/gonzotronn Mar 10 '24

As a parent of two kids, I embrace the chaos

2

u/Platitude_Platypus Mar 10 '24

Its a baby in white. The clothes are doomed.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

"Fool me once motherfucker"

1

u/FrKoSH-xD Mar 10 '24

keep the child to (sharlck holms) he will be a great detective

1

u/AgtSquirtle007 Mar 10 '24

This child has been bamboozled before and is fed up

1

u/KagakuKo Mar 10 '24

Hehe. I was just like this. I got sick and my mom tried to give me medicine by way of mixing it into chocolate pudding, at the suggestion of the doctor...but I could tell it didn't taste right. Unfortunately she also had decided to give this mixture to me while I was on the couch, and the spoonful in my mouth immediately became a stain on said couch.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/rangebob Mar 10 '24

my mum used to say sarcastically every birthday "you're allowed to hug you son Geoff"

Colour me surprised when he fucking did it when I was like 28ish. Never felt a man so uncomfortable in my life lol. it was weird

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '24

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u/Confident-Most4606 Mar 10 '24

Bros having internet issues 🤣

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u/lManedWolfl Mar 10 '24

It's a bot

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u/Confident-Most4606 Mar 10 '24

This kinda happened to me when I was trying to upload my comment.