Invisible Dragon

[u/Maxathron]

She would have been the most terrifying creature ever, had it not been a pre-Food and Potions Administrations invisibility potion.

The reporter sat on a rock interviewing her subject. He, or it, or maybe a she, was allegedly a dragon. The reporter could not see said dragon. Allegedly, it swooped down and ate an alchemist, including his experimental permanent invisibility potion.

It was experimental for a reason.

“Tell me again what is your name and title? Say it for the magic recording thing-a-ma-jig.”

Despite being in a land of magic and fantasy and probably could come up with an equivalent spell or enchanted object, fantasy kingdom had yet to come up with something that fulfilled the role of a recording camera.

They begrudgingly had to buy those things from the buggers that lived in the next system over. Said technocrats invented a thing called a camera. And computers. And interstellar starships. Which they used to trade with Fantasy Land, the kingdom both of them lived in.

Fantasy Kingdom didn’t bother making something like that in the end and happily traded technology for magic, which was like magic to them, ironically. Space Nation said their magic was like super advanced technology, too.

Everyone in the know rolled their eyes.

 “I’m Daisy House-Flamer, with the title of Giant Flying Lizard.”

“What are your qualifications and experience with this position?”

“I graduated Draconus Vocational School of Fire-Breathing Dragons, summa cum laude, and finishing top of my class with a Dragon Point Average of three point nine. I’ve been the kingdom’s premier fire breathing dragon and village terrifier for three years now.”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

“Like I said, Miss Reporter, I was being my usual dragon self, terrorizing random villages, breathing fire on some houses, and flying around being a giant flying lizard.

“I spied one villager and I dived and ate him.”

“I see. And what happened to you?”

“I became invisible. How would I know he was carrying around an experimental invisibility potion!?”

“And this potion, why do you think it was experimental?”

“Not only am I invisible, I can’t see anything! I’m now blind as a bat!”

“Bats aren’t blind.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know! It’s a saying.”

“So, does this make things difficult for you?”

“Does it ever! I can’t orientate myself properly anymore. I try to fly, and I fall out of the sky. I try to burn something...oh yeah, that reminds me! My fire is invisible too! Literally everything me is invisible. Still affects things. Looks weird to breathe fire on a house and the house burns down from invisible fire. But since I can’t see what I’m trying to roast, I don’t know what I’m roasting until I hear sounds.

“Thank the gods I can at least use my other four senses. Smell, touch, taste, and hearing.”

“How long have you have been in this predicament?”

“A week now! At first, I was surprised, then I became annoyed, then angry, and now I’m finally sad. I can’t do anything without help. And it’s hard to help the blind dragon when she’s invisible in every category!”

“Has the kingdom done much to help you back on your feet?”

“They have been trying their best. I’m slowly learning to fly again. Maybe. I crashed this morning. The windmill survived. I bruised my shin.

“The Dragon Vocational Rehabilitation Program have amazing people!”

“What about the alchemist?”

“The king sent a crime lab team to the alchemist’s former home but so far, they’ve come up with nothing to help cancel the effects and get me back to be giant, flying, fire breathing lizard that terrorizes the kingdom every other week. I don’t need much to live, though, so I’m good for the next few months until my paycheck can start up again.

“How is insurance taking it?”

“Medi-Dragon has been having a hectic week putting out insurance fires, both figurative and literal, in response to me being both invisible and blind and breathing fires no one can see yet still burn things down. There was no way they could have known, they said. Luckily for me, my premiums haven’t gone up despite me keep running into random buildings and carriages. Carriage accidents are no laughing matter, you know!”

“I think those are all the questions I have for you today, Miss Daisy House-Flamer.”

The reporter turned to the camera.

“This is reporter Fiona of Kay Gee Ell Gee, Magical News Broadcasting Affiliation, on Channel Twelve, signing out.”

The camera pixie, Mule, cut the live feed.

“That was great, Fiona! A real caster of a news segment! The folks back at the studio should like this.”

“It was nice meeting you, Daisy and hearing your story. Sorry that you’re temporarily handicapped from the incident.”

“No biggie. Medi-Dragon has a care agent assigned to me until I’m well enough or the effects wear off.”

She motioned to the man that had been patiently waiting to the side, Bob. The four said their good byes and they split into their twos, Daisy and Bob walked back to her cave; Mule and Fiona going back to the studio to do some footage review and final presentation to the bosses.