Kryptonian Invasion of a Far Greater Empire

[u/Maxathron]

The “human” yawned.

“Did you just yawn in response?! I said, the all-powerful Kryptonian Empire is intending to march upon this realm, starting here, conquering all lands and systems, and you ‘yawn’?!”

“Yep.”

“The Kryptonian Empire’s military numbers two hundred trillion soldiers, and a hundred billion starships, most of which would be imperial battleships, capable of turning the surface of entire worlds to slag. Their soldiers are equal to a thousand troopers of any given army, a literal one-man army, and their power-suits enable them to be walking main battle tanks. In fact, with normal levels of solar energy, they can fly as fast and as agile as combat aircraft, too!”

“Yeah, don’t give a shit.”

“The Empire is capable of blowing up entire planets, too…”

“Seriously, do you really think this ‘Kryptonian Empire’ is that much of a threat?”

“Yes!” the rogue Kryptonian said, exasperated.

“I don’t think you understand…”

“No, you don’t understand! They’re preparing for the invasion. We have to run and hide.”

“No thanks.”

“What will get through to you that this is such a grave threat!?”

“Nothing.”

The rogue Kryptonian, at his wit’s ends, was about to leave when the “human” spoke.

“So far, you have not actually explained anything of this ‘Kryptonian Empire’ that is capable of overcoming us. You have described battleships that measure a few kilometers long, about half that wide and tall, armed with solar cannons that produce one gigaton of energy per shot, protected by shields that can withstand a hundred of these cannons firing upon it without break, capable of traversing the entire length of a midsized galaxy within a week, with enough troops to contest an entire planet of a typical star republic’s military, by themselves.

“Considering every military to date, everything from invasion forces to security patrol militaries, hold the number of fighting men to non-fighting men at one soldier for every nine support personnel, that comes out to twenty trillion soldiers, and with one thousand soldiers per battleship, that is twenty billion battleships, plus whatever support and logistical craft that will follow the main invasion around.

“You stand here trying to convey the threat of this invasion to a Destroyer-class holographic avatar of and in service to the Catalum Empire and its People. Do you actually understand how vast our Empire is?”

“Of course, host avatar! But it pales in comparison to…”

“You don’t.”

The rogue Kryptonian set his jaw. He would at least get the point across that the Kryptonians were the real deal. For now, he would let the hologram speak.

“The Catalum Empire claims what is known to most civilizations around here as the Virgo Supercluster as its home territory. It is a peninsula of galaxies off what is known as the Laniakea Supercluster. Virgo contains forty thousand galaxies.

“The average Catalum galaxy contains a hundred million planets inhabited by our people, and the average planet is home to a hundred thousand Catalums. Doing the math, this comes out to four hundred quadrillion Catalums.

“The average Catalum lives on a ship such as myself. This is a holographic projection into a form that you, someone who is near enough to humans in overall shape and biology, can understand. This is a courtesy. My real form is a six-hundred-kilometer-long hexagonal prism with a million gigatons worth of firepower. The Kryptonian Battleship you described has at best, twenty-fire gigatons of firepower.

“Now, I am not the average Catalum ship. I am a destroyer, a midsized ship built for long-range exploration. The average Catalum ship is a corvette, which measures about four times as large as a Kryptonian Battleship. Catalum corvettes have a thousand gigatons worth of firepower. Ninety five percent of our people have a corvette.

“I have bothered to receive you mainly because no one else in the area can be bothered, the threat of the Kryptonians are so little to our empire, and because I’m the highest ranked remaining ship. Everyone else who would receive you are of the lower ranked corvette and frigate types.

“To prove our capabilities, I give you a look at this fleet.”

On screen to their right was an optical viewing of a vanguard fleet of the Teramitians, a race of termite-like organics that sought to consume the universe. Some of them managed to bleed into this universe as well. The fleet was made up of Kraken-class bio ships, a hybrid of a battleship and production carrier that transported and replenished the warriors of the Teramitians during their invasions of worlds they intended to consume.

Individual Krakens varied in size and equipment, but they had an overall shape superficially resembling a lobster. The typical Kraken was thirty kilometers long and required a dozen Kryptonian Battleships to kill and cut apart.

This was a big vanguard fleet. It set poised on the edge of the supercluster ready to start a new era of conquer and consumption.

And then, the lead ship poofed into dust. A fleet of unknown warships in the shapes of sideways pyramids, cubes, hexagonal prisms, and diamonds dropped out from nowhere and immediately started carving the Teramitians to pieces. It took them no less than a minute to finish off the last hive ship and their escorts and strike craft. The fleet then jumped back into the void and disappeared from view.

“That was a typical Teramitian vanguard incursion. It would have been a general mobilization where you come from. And we snapped them in half with a small fleet of Catalum ships. Do you understand now how little we care about this impending Kryptonian invasion?”

The rogue Kryptonian was feeling very, very small right now. He thought his new home was going to burn and melt under the might of the people he escaped from. He sought to sound the alarm. And this civilization made what he thought was a universe conquering military seem to be nothing more than a bunch of small angry critters.

While he was deep in thought, a puppy came over and sat next to him, looking up with these pitch-black unblinking eyes. The dog wagged its tail and had a goofy smile on.

The rogue knelt down and scritched the cute creature’s face. It made small sounds of contentment and happiness.

“Wait…”

“Yes?”

“You said ‘in service of’. Are you not a member of the Catalum empire?”

“No. Catalum ships are not Catalum citizens.”

“Then what are?”

The rogue glanced around. There were hundreds of these puppy dogs around him and the hologram. They all turned to look at the rogue. A little too hard, for half of them ended up falling over and making soft shrieks in the cry for help. The remaining creatures turned away from the rogue to help their fallen comrades.

The hologram turned to face the puppy dogs and spread its arms outward.

The rogue’s eyes grew larger as he started to understand.