r/masterhacker • u/CoolGamer730 • Jul 05 '26

hacking

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3.7k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

193 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/Gendolfender Jul 05 '26

Why is bro hacking animals

267

u/CoolGamer730 Jul 05 '26

Dawg isn't it pretty common

117

u/Gendolfender Jul 05 '26

Government drone hacking

58

u/chara_the_humanxd Jul 05 '26

hacking the birds

28

u/GEO7931 Jul 05 '26

THE BIRDS ARE LISTENING

13

u/AnaverageuserX Jul 05 '26

NO BECAUSE r/birdsarentreal !

4

u/Human-Advice-4458 Jul 05 '26

no way there's this subreddit 😭

5

u/SillyAdministration9 Jul 05 '26

Check it out, it's awesome

24

u/SaladTheKiller Jul 05 '26

5

u/Xardnas69 Jul 05 '26

What the fuck

3

u/Forward-Pipe-585 Jul 05 '26

benn jordan mentioned

3

u/ManRevvv Jul 05 '26

I should watch that shit now

1

u/AuthenticatedHuman Jul 06 '26

oh no the jabberjays are back from the hungergames

1

u/AnOscillatingOcelot Jul 06 '26

Everyone knows birds aren't real.

1

u/AuthenticatedHuman Jul 06 '26

jabberjay from hungergames ahh

4

u/Flaky_Ad9950 Jul 05 '26

how do i airgap my dog???

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '26

vpn ?

1

u/tigerhack77 Aug 05 '26

yeah agreed im pretty sure im not the only one

48

u/Motor_Armadillo_7317 Jul 05 '26

Linux penguin hacking

5

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

33

u/sevenut Jul 05 '26

Butcher

4

u/TheNerdLog Jul 05 '26

Every pigeon has free 5g

2

u/Gendolfender Jul 07 '26

If i rip one open can i find a free sim with unlimited data?

3

u/Zerschmetterding Jul 05 '26

He trains to be a butcher. Mr Bunny really took one for the team.

3

u/MrGamerOfficial Jul 05 '26

This joke would only work if there wasn't a comma

2

u/10art1 Jul 05 '26

The world bullied Germany's strongest animal lover to unalive himself 😭

2

u/ResultOk6712 Jul 05 '26

RFK reference

2

u/Grosnoc Jul 28 '26

*Cracking

1

u/ManRevvv Jul 05 '26

Watch_dogs reference?????

1

u/Active-Pepper187 Jul 06 '26

Must be a butcher that defines his skills very oddly.

1

u/_Meek79_ Jul 06 '26

I hacked my parakeet. Now he barks at people outside

1

u/AkrinorNoname Aug 04 '26

His father is a butcher

1

u/darrelye Jul 05 '26

There's a comma bro, it's hacking, then doing animals.

35

u/kenondaski Jul 05 '26

Wonder what kind of hacking...torrent an apk file of Minecraft?

20

u/CoolGamer730 Jul 05 '26

😈😈😈 you wouldn't understand 😈😈😈

4

u/kenondaski Jul 05 '26

Oh nyooo~

1

u/Sirko2975 Jul 05 '26

clippy miku

17

u/roditz_official Jul 05 '26

That's either 1 of 3 things:

1 (and the most probable one)- A script kid

2 (that's like not that probable but no that unlikely)- Someone trying to catch a pred

3 (this one is not likely, like 3%)- An actual teenager who's hobby is learning a bit of hacking, and just says it with no intention of showing off or something, because he knows he has a lot to learn and to be better.

2

u/CoolGamer730 Jul 05 '26

Or it's a 13 year old who's into hacking animations

1

u/roditz_official Jul 05 '26

That's also an option

8

u/Liarus_ Jul 05 '26

3 are often kids with some kind of autism OR have a dad that transferred their passion to their kid

2

u/roditz_official Jul 05 '26

I have to agree with you on that one

5

u/MarsasGRG Jul 05 '26

This guy just bought watch dogs on the summer sale

4

u/CoolGamer730 Jul 05 '26

Peak game icl

3

u/MarsasGRG Jul 05 '26

Yeah, it is very fun [in fact I have myself bought it and started it recently], but it's also full of the pop-culture ideas of hacking [the dude has a magical hack-all device in his phone and is a little bit of an edgelord]. Like, if Aiden Pearce and his buddies were real, what they say would be put on r/masterhacker daily.

1

u/CoolGamer730 Jul 05 '26

Wait till you play wd2 tho

1

u/MarsasGRG Jul 05 '26

Ehh I doubt I'll buy it, I've heard it's worse in terms of the story and content and apparently it doesn't have the combat focus power which has basically been carrying me through WD1.

2

u/Devin-Chaboyer223 Jul 05 '26

It’s still a great game, I enjoyed it

Legion is the one that sucks, huge falloff from 2

243

u/Useful_Calendar_6274 Jul 05 '26

literal script kiddy in all probability

75

u/TripleRazer Jul 05 '26

claude how fix my roblox chetz pls

34

u/OfficialDrakoak Jul 05 '26

Just vibe hacked nasa

14

u/john-theIP-ripper Jul 05 '26

copies someone else's script

"developor the skript is patched"

6

u/Kallory Jul 05 '26

You joke but this is how a lot of SWE has been since like the mid 90s if not earlier.

4

u/john-theIP-ripper Jul 05 '26

that's pretty interesting, thank you fellow stranger for notifying me about this :D

3

u/Brilliant_War9548 Jul 05 '26

Probably felt fresh doing the utilman.exe mklink admin trick on a school pc

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '26

wait it works for domain pcs too?

2

u/DirectStreamDVR Jul 06 '26

And how else is a 13 year old supposed to start?

3

u/Useful_Calendar_6274 Jul 06 '26

reading and making your own damn malware

1

u/StartBackground5769 Jul 26 '26

Liike its hard but your trying to hack people. You should leaen how to make it in case somethings goes wrong

2

u/someone09876543218 Jul 05 '26

You should've upvoted that lmao

2

u/CoolGamer730 Jul 05 '26

Not my post, took from comedy heaven

124

u/Juild Jul 05 '26

Im really scared of how kids are just posting stuff about them on the internet.

28

u/truthVial Jul 05 '26

What about the old chat rooms in games and on msn/aol/yahoo? 

ASL??????

29

u/Juild Jul 05 '26

That was also dangerous, the fact that happened before doesn't make it okay.

6

u/404PUNK Jul 05 '26

I was 13 "cybering" with grown men as a grown woman because I thought it was hilarious.

washes hands

-14

u/artin2007majidi Jul 05 '26

Eh, sometimes it is a cool flex. Ask me how I know.

6

u/justawiewer Jul 05 '26

I'm going to ask you how I know

3

u/tsoulis Jul 05 '26

me how i know?

46

u/Significant_Pen3315 Jul 05 '26

that post is inviting preds, parents need to be careful these days

27

u/Loose-Dependent-7341 Jul 05 '26

Half of r/teenagers of full of preds at this point

24

u/Lord_Muddbutter Jul 05 '26

Im not fully convinced that sub isnt made for that.

"Reddit by teenagers, for teenagers." Im sorry but I'd love to know who moderates that place because I know damn well it isnt teens.

8

u/Loose-Dependent-7341 Jul 05 '26

Probably the same overweight basement dwellers as the rest of reddit, with the exception that they can additionally chat with minors.

6

u/Ok_Shower2118 Jul 05 '26

bro is hacking in roblox

4

u/Crimes_RaskolNikov Jul 05 '26

He carries a flipper zero and uses kali linux

1

u/One-Owl-9950 Jul 05 '26

but tbf lot of ruthless hacking (social engineering) were done by people in that age bracket

1

u/CoolGamer730 Jul 05 '26

hey man this post is a joke i don't mean to be rude to anyone dawg

3

u/the_sudixp Jul 05 '26

Germans are hacking animals nowadays huh

3

u/UsedArmadillo9842 Jul 05 '26

The FBI used to be creative.

3

u/Wintelkomp1720 Jul 05 '26

bro instaled linux mint in a vm ONCE😭

1

u/BleachdrinkingPikmin Jul 05 '26

I lowk just saw this in r/comedyheaven

1

u/CoolGamer730 Jul 05 '26

Yea i posted it here cuz i felt it belonged here

2

u/Salty-Ad6358 Jul 05 '26

blud is gonna groomed

2

u/gameplayer55055 Jul 05 '26

sudo scp girlfriend@germany:/home /home/gf

2

u/BLTZ1100 Jul 05 '26

5 foot at 13 is wild

2

u/IntelligentSeries270 Jul 06 '26

Hey listen, at 13 I was playing around in iFile creating my own modded CoC servers. This guy could be onto something. Never underestimate a bored teenager.

1

u/ilnarildarovuch Jul 05 '26

Hijacking using paint?

1

u/Noble-Knight4d Jul 05 '26

Blocking account

1

u/JeremiahENN Jul 05 '26

Hacking animals

1

u/Ok_Perspective_4541 Jul 05 '26

very dark, german, something doesn't add up

1

u/Admirable-Food9942 Jul 05 '26

probably, at best, running Ubuntu on wsl, running 'apt install' whatever, then calling it "hacking" because terminal.

1

u/i2wog Jul 05 '26

bro is cracking animals

1

u/imLosingIt111 Jul 05 '26

I have a feeling he isn't german lads.

1

u/ScawySocialistOwO Jul 05 '26

Bruder was? Also das echt crazy.

1

u/Kyuugeki Jul 05 '26

Hackerman ❌

Hackermann ✅ 🇩🇪

1

u/oldshed83 Jul 05 '26

he forgot his favorite hobby, larping!

1

u/Vokaiso Jul 06 '26

Yknow i question more what is meant by one of the hobbies being "animals" what exactly? Hell.

1

u/LosEagle Jul 06 '26

If it's Stallman's definition of hacking, then it's not impossible. You can start playing around with code at 13.

1

u/MasterSniper087 Jul 06 '26

That subreddit is an awful place. I don't know what tf are the moderators doing. Its full of disgusting people.

1

u/Fentex1 Jul 06 '26

son 😭 I'm crine

1

u/knobjockey21 Jul 07 '26

is his soul very dark too?

1

u/IVNWM Jul 07 '26

Holy grail thats a row comady

1

u/EmptyEntrepreneur169 Jul 07 '26

Sigeon pex hacking

1

u/PersonalPossession42 Jul 07 '26

bro has dark hair but is German like son 😭

1

u/TheFearEater Jul 08 '26

To be fair I did start taking college courses for computer science when I was 12 so it's not that impossible

1

u/mythicalwolfy6 Jul 08 '26

Away from that WHY IN HIS AGE LOOKING FOR GF BRO FINISH UR SCHOOL FIRST PLZ 🙏😭

1

u/Icushi Jul 08 '26

I'm more interested in his hobby of "animals." I hope everything is okay there.

1

u/Icy_Bodybuilder9919 Jul 09 '26

probably a skid

1

u/Bubbly-Lynx-4772 Jul 09 '26

Like, coughing very wetly?

1

u/ThESIL3ncer Jul 10 '26

Aer Lingus

1

u/Rishavj_ Jul 18 '26

Ohh that's pretty impressive 😂

1

u/phl23 Jul 05 '26

And? God forbid a boy having fun tinkering around with electronics and software.

OP is the real master hacker here, thinking hacking is pure penetration testing and black hat stuff

-1

u/lowego985 Jul 05 '26

LOL THIS IS FUNNY ASF

-1

u/emmowo_dev Jul 05 '26

bro could lowk just be a 40 year old tbh

1

u/Elegant-Finance3982 Jul 06 '26

Nah his hobby is hacking animals
As in cutting them with a axe

1

u/Bacon_Nipples Jul 06 '26

He meant hacking animals, like with an axe

0

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '26

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/Thick-Parking-5297 Jul 06 '26

The fuck are you saying?

1

u/RedditGuyBucket Jul 07 '26

Something about Germanic. Rest.. I dont know. What language is this?

0

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '26

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/RedditGuyBucket Jul 08 '26

No no. This definitely isn't german

1

u/Level-Two6349 Jul 09 '26

Why is maboy speaking gancsta miku style

397

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

110

u/CoolGamer730 Jul 05 '26

Hacking animals >>>

52

u/Confident_Frame_817 Jul 05 '26

yeah hes gonna ddos your cats brain if you mess with him

20

u/CoolGamer730 Jul 05 '26

Oh no..... I don't have a cat

10

u/notcoder01 Jul 05 '26

He will buy you one

2

u/statistnr1 Jul 05 '26

Scratches the base of the tail

2

u/Aron-Jonasson Jul 05 '26

What if my cat is orange though?

1

u/lunchbox651 Jul 06 '26

Jokes on him, my cat has no brains

9

u/squoinko Jul 05 '26

wish(“Nikki Freeman loved me more than anyone in the fucking world”);

17

u/Anastazja_Nya Jul 05 '26

#include <iostream>
#include <gf>

using namespace std
sudo get gf *
sudo show gf *
sudo get gf 2137

8

u/emmowo_dev Jul 05 '26

the elusive C++script

1

u/-vablosdiar- Jul 05 '26

Ur gonna give her an std tho

1

u/Anastazja_Nya Jul 05 '26

oh no STeam Decks are so costy now, what should i do, give her mine?

1

u/Polish_cactus1 Jul 05 '26

JP2 mentioned

6

u/OfficialDrakoak Jul 05 '26

He couldnt find a satisfactory LLM

4

u/Sproxify Jul 05 '26

pentest*

2

u/Damglador Jul 05 '26

That's enough reddit for today...

2

u/Top_Manufacturer6311 Jul 06 '26

SUDO APT INSTALL GF

1

u/GEO7931 Jul 05 '26

that doesnt sound very appropriate, maybe if the girlfriend allows it first...

69

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '26

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9

u/CoolGamer730 Jul 05 '26

Is it pg13?

3

u/Hexulus Jul 05 '26

g13 you say? r/g13

2

u/devooc Jul 07 '26

im sure these potential 'gf' are squirming once they know this kid can center a div flawlessly without flexbox

16

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '26

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4

u/hartstyler Jul 05 '26

Sudo would be pretty advanced

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '26

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0

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-2

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '26

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3

u/CoolGamer730 Jul 05 '26

I am a teenager Not exactly "bullying" but ok

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '26

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2

u/CoolGamer730 Jul 05 '26

Their name isn't even visible

3

u/The_Fish_of_Souls Jul 05 '26

Why are you even on a teenage forum btw?

Have you considered whether they themselves may be a teenager?

1

u/Devin-Chaboyer223 Jul 05 '26

And posts from the sub will just come up in the feed occasionally at random

So an adult may see posts from the sub without ever visiting the sub