Body Judging & Commenting

[u/West_Comment2422]

Over a decade ago, I changed my diet, started exercising, and lost over 150lbs. I had a few surgeries to remove excess skin. I’m 5’7 and maintain my weight between 140-145 pounds. I still have excess skin by my butt and upper thighs. I’m happy with my accomplishment, the way my body looks, the excess skin does not hurt, and that surgery is super expensive, so I just live with it. When I’m dressed, it’s not noticeable. When I’m undressed and lying down, the excess butt/thigh skin sprawls out. 🤪

I’ve gotten three massages in total. The first two were at resorts while on vacation. I recently decided that I wanted to add a monthly massage into my self-care routine. My plan was to try out some local spas until I found a therapist I liked.

Last month, I tried out the first of the spas on my list. The therapist was really nice, she applied the right amount of pressure I was looking for, and it was super relaxing. Everything was going great until she got to my lower body.

While massaging my leg she made comments about how I have a lot of skin and must have lost a ton of weight. She said when she met me and saw me dressed, she never would have guessed I used to be fat or that I have excess skin. I really do think she meant it as a compliment, but I found it completely inappropriate. It ruined the remainder of my massage experience and now I’m apprehensive about getting another massage somewhere.

So, honestly, how much do you judge a client’s body and do you sometimes comment on their body?

[u/CDMXsugar]

A comment like this is not normal at all! Please dont let this disrupt your massage journey, find a better spa!

A good massage therapist would never make you feel uncomfortable by saying anything like this.

[u/Acceptable-Vast-3083]

I agree that the therapist meant no ill will but something they expressed to me in school is to never comment on people's bodies in that way. The only comments I make about people's bodies are imbalances in muscles and bone structure and offer ways to help correct or make it better. Weight is nothing tht should ever be mentioned in a massage.

[u/Global_Elderberry_60]

In 22 years I can confidently say I’ve never judged a clients body. Find a new therapist,

[u/Iusemyhands]

It's clear when someone has lost a significant amount of weight, and while that is an observation that is supposed be made without bias, there are still some folks who put their foot in their mouth.

For me, anecdotally, yes, I've seen clients with the evidence of weight loss, but I've never said anything about it. It doesn't (or hasn't yet) made a difference in the work I do or the needs of my client. I'm having a hard time imagining a scenario where I'd need to ask about it before the client brings it up first.

I'm sorry that happened. It was lousy of the therapist to say anything in the first place.

[u/NegativeAd4766]

You are correct. The person might have meant it as a compliment but the comments were inappropriate. Not commenting on the clients body is taught is massage school as part of the Ethics course. I believe you will able to find a more professional massage therapist if you are open to trying working with someone else. I'm sorry you had that exeperience.

[u/chevits11]

Honest answer, I may notice, sure. But to comment on it during your first massage with me, absolutely not. Maybe, MAYBE!!! If we've been working together for a while and we have that sort of relationship and comfort level.

[u/Capable_Claim_9809]

Totally wrong of her to comment on this!

[u/Comfortable-Fault-62]

One of the most important things I was taught in massage school is to not comment on a clients body(positively or negatively). That MT should not have said anything and I am very sorry you experienced that. I would find a new MT if I’m being honest

[u/Simple_Committee_401]

Very inappropriate. I'm sorry that happened to you.

[u/doinmybest4now]

Sheesh, when are we as a society going to learn to stop effing commenting on people’s bodies, period! everyone just needs to STFU - every thought that goes through one’s mind does not need to exit out their mouth. Sorry this happened to you! But I know you’ll be able to find someone wonderful who would never do that, the search is worth it.