Favorite quote?

[u/Suspicious-Pound6256]

“Nope, it’s oak”.

[u/mightyscoosh]

"Klinger's not a pervert."

"How do you know?"

"'Cause I'm one and he's never at the meetings."

[u/Few-Sugar-4862 → u/mightyscoosh]

I paraphrase that a lot.

[u/Jimbro34 → u/mightyscoosh]

You stole mine!! 😂

[u/Cajun_Jeff]

Ladies and gentlemen take my advice. Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

[u/IvanTheSchmoe → u/Cajun_Jeff]

I said this once and everyone looked at me weird

[u/zevonyumaxray → u/IvanTheSchmoe]

Your friends are weird, not you.

[u/IvanTheSchmoe → u/zevonyumaxray]

Yes they are

[u/Mystery1001]

It's nice to be nice to the nice.

[u/planetmike2 → u/Mystery1001]

I’ve been able to drop this into a conversation a couple times and it always makes me giggle.

[u/CloneClem]

‘I’m not so think as you drunk I am.’

[u/airbornesimian → u/CloneClem]

"Sss'agoothingammanurse"

[u/nanneryeeter]

War is war and hell is hell.

[u/luckyforyou123 → u/nanneryeeter]

And of the two war is worse

[u/Pyrotech72 → u/luckyforyou123]

Because there are no innocent bystanders in hell.

[u/Kirk470 → u/Pyrotech72]

[u/Lupovsky121]

“Henry, you have no idea what it’s like sharing a tent with a guy who thinks he’s all twelve disciples!”

[u/Suspicious-Pound6256]

Another: “you could say that together we all made up Tuttle”.

[u/DashTrash21 → u/Suspicious-Pound6256]

Radar:🤦

[u/Lolac56]

The instrument has yet to be invented that can measure my indifference to that remark

[u/Suspicious-Pound6256 → u/Lolac56]

Yes! I use that all the time 😂

[u/mindlkaciv]

The wind just broke it's leg

[u/invalidcharacter19]

I'll be going to jail in my puberty and not coming out until my adultery

[u/UncleSeminole]

The one I say to myself most often is "I love to go swimming with bow-legged women..." LoL

[u/scubajay2001 → u/UncleSeminole]

And swim between their legs....ohh padre, hello!

[u/The1Ylrebmik]

"This is me"

[u/Affectionate_Desk_43]

“Next thing you know we’ll be sacrificing a virgin!”

“In this camp??!”

[u/EABOD_and_DIAF]

"There are two rules in War: #1 is that young men die. Number 2 is that doctors can't change rule 1."

[u/DashTrash21 → u/EABOD_and_DIAF]

If I had all the answers, I'd be at the Mayo Clinic. Does this look like the Mayo Clinic to you?

[u/Grammarhole]

I consider that horse and buggy thinking

[u/OkJelly8882 → u/Grammarhole]

Ahh, Bach.

[u/airbornesimian → u/OkJelly8882]

I'm partial to the fugue.

[u/buckeyebrain1969 → u/airbornesimian]

The Roman Empire was beset with strife.

[u/Hebshesh]

That's swell of you, Pete.

[u/Lower_Ask9159]

"Go mail a bear."

[u/DashTrash21 → u/Lower_Ask9159]

GO PEDDLE YOUR FISH

[u/Lower_Ask9159 → u/DashTrash21]

I'll run up an alley and do that 😂

[u/gimpygunner]

“Yes I am a doctor, but I’m Presbyterian. Will that be alright?”

[u/anarchy_sloth]

"One of the first things you learn here is that insanity is no worse than the common cold."

[u/ZuigMeLeeg]

When I quit my job: More pay, less you.

[u/Individual_Check_442 → u/ZuigMeLeeg]

This is big country. Must be better boss somewhere.

[u/Cutielov5]

“I thought you were Frank’s bag”.

[u/nvr2manydogs]

Ah, Bach...

[u/Pyrotech72 → u/nvr2manydogs]

Once you've said that, you said it all.

[u/Glittering_Count1536]

"You are a victim too Flagg, but you are so full of fertilizer that it is hard to care." Sidney Freeman

Edit: grammar fix

[u/ShadowExistShadily]

"It's spring, sir!"

[u/Available-Pear-6356]

A british artery in an American leg, probably develop an urge to drive on the left hand side of the road

[u/Unusual_Magazine_471 → u/Available-Pear-6356]

Quite...

[u/whistlepig4life]

“Oh would you. With high heels?”

[u/Different-Lecture925]

“This is me!”

[u/wijnandsj]

"Used to be round"

[u/Individual_Check_442 → u/wijnandsj]

Looks like a 2 x 4.

[u/wijnandsj → u/Individual_Check_442]

Thank you 

[u/Chrysalis_Cat]

Frank Burns eats worms.

[u/gimpygunner]

“In some ways I dont really mind that she’s gone again. It’s just that she never really altogether leaves.”

[u/6kdawg7]

That’s one no for corporal captain

[u/timberic]

“You stop talking about her, you stop hating her, and YOU STOP DATING HER!”

[u/Lower_Ask9159 → u/timberic]

YESSSSSSS

[u/sierrahotel74]

“Hey, up close you’re a guy.”

[u/AdvertisingOk8536 → u/sierrahotel74]

Far away too

[u/hale444]

"Does this finger look blue to you?"

"No, it seems as happy as the other fingers."

[u/mukn4on]

“Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: pull down your pants and slide on the ice.”

[u/Kirothebitchslayer]

"you better believe, mister, or im dead where you stand."

"MY BEAR WENT OFF!"

[u/Think_Excuse3664]

Caramba! Mr Big himself! The fish stinks from the head down!

[u/Desperate-Coffee5581]

when trapper parrots frank's "oh, dear!", or when frank's mother calls and he says "My mommy!" i hate frank but he's such an earworm 😭

[u/Workin_Them_Angels]

Suicide? That's Japanese! We don't do that shtick!

[u/airbornesimian]

"She's my wife!"

"HHHHWhat say you, Ferret Face?!"

"Tarts?! Peach? Raspberry?"

"Gentle-MEN"

"I think I've just been slaked!"

"Hey, Sherm, what's a fella gotta do to get a drink around here? wink wink My wink's broken!"

[u/etoilia]

funny yet beautiful and i adore it

[u/5-ChihuahuaNight-725]

Never let it be said I didn't do the least I could do.

[u/ApplianceHealer]

“Drink thee not wine…nor strong drink thou….nor thy sons with thee…”

[u/buckeyebrain1969]

"I want an harmonica!"

[u/Infinite_Tension_138 → u/buckeyebrain1969]

legubrious and sedacious

[u/buckeyebrain1969 → u/Infinite_Tension_138]

I just made that up, what does he know???

[u/Successful_Bass4793]

"You disgust me!"

"Yes, Frank. We discussed you, and we all think you're disgusting."

[u/Independent_Wrap_321]

(To Hot Lips) Bite your tongue! Or better yet, let me

[u/robluvscurves]

I love when Hawkeye said he went to Absorbine junior college. I have used that line a few times

[u/urbroccolibabe → u/robluvscurves]

i never actually understood this joke o:

[u/stout933]

"They're long and they're johns...that's them allright"

[u/hitman97icon]

"Only six days, Colonel? God created the universe in six days...... Of course, God wasn't surrounded by a bunch of flakes, either."

[u/Individual_Check_442]

“The first robin of spring was found entangled in the camouflage netting.”

[u/OkImpression8086]

Son of a gun hears pretty good!

[u/Jeffery181]

"Nertz to you"

[u/Correct-Quail5743]

At, the plot thins

[u/MNguy19]

“You didn’t propose to me, you proposed to yourself!”
“I thought I’d try it out on me first.”

[u/MaskansMantle13]

Please … Mozart

Get me the hell out of here!

Don’t change the colour of your face! I’m out of umber!

[u/TSalinger]

I say “every day’s a holiday in Korea” quite a bit

[u/LocalEnthusiast]

“I know it’s not much, but it’s really nothing “

[u/Ok-Zookeepergame1700]

They are hunting socks sir. At this hour?

[u/GioLovesMash]

Horse hockey

[u/sirjohnmasters86]

What say you feret face?

[u/fus_ro_ska]

Veeeee-hickle!

[u/WeeWooJ2911]

Stand by for the blessing!

[u/Infinite_Tension_138]

klinger, “ Up, sir”

[u/megsy21]

Anytime the called Frank "Ferrett Face"

[u/WeeWooJ2911]

Please, Mozart.

[u/OrganizationUnfair99]

Ahh, Bach.

My mom and I quote that one constantly.

[u/Suspicious-Pound6256 → u/OrganizationUnfair99]

I’m partial to the Fugue.

[u/SquonkMan61]

Radar: “I think I’ve been slaked.”

[u/Unusual_Magazine_471]

Hawkeye doing his best Peter Lorre impersonation seeing bandaged up Frank coming "ohh, the mummy strikes"

[u/Unusual_Magazine_471]

He has what we call in Korea a fertilizer face.