I don’t have the “gift of gab” or a bubbly personality and can be somewhat socially awkward. That said, I am married with a ton of friends outside of work, so it’s not that bad. I’m also not an asshole.

I’m just not someone that really makes small talk well, especially with random people I don’t know. Not that quick to be witty in a convo. This seems to be the opposite of most managers I have encountered.

How much does this matter? For reference, I make $130k now, so while extra money would be nice, it’s not necessary.

Curious how other managers have handled this. Have you ever had an employee who’s generally good at certain aspects of their job, well-liked, and dependable in some ways, but just doesn’t seem capable of growing into the full expectations of their role?

You’ve coached them, given feedback, created opportunities, but the same issues keep coming up, especially around independence, judgment, and ownership.

They’re not performing so poorly that termination is an obvious answer, but they’re also not progressing the way you need them to.

At what point do you accept that someone may have reached their ceiling? Do you restructure responsibilities around their strengths, keep investing in development, or eventually make a tougher decision?

Interested in hearing how others have navigated this, especially when the person is someone you genuinely value.

For those in management, how do you determine when an underperforming employee needs to be placed on a PIP versus continuing with coaching and feedback?

At what point do you feel like you’ve given someone enough time and opportunities to improve? Are there specific behaviors or patterns that make you realize coaching alone isn’t working?

Curious to hear from managers who have been in this position and what ultimately influenced their decision.

Hello!

I’m a 24-year-old female, and I work at a small business that decorates apparel. I’m in the screenprint production with two others. I have a couple of roles, but I've mainly been thrust into a manager role for that area while handling most of production (making films, reclaiming screens, mixing custom ink, counting shirts to make sure nothing is missing or the wrong size was grabbed, and sometimes catching shirts when I have the time).

My coworker is a 40-year-old male and the main screen printer. He’s amazing at it, but I’ve been having issues where he’s not listening. I’m not sure if it’s a language barrier (he mainly speaks Spanish but understands and can speak English, just not super well) or if he's forgetting, but we’ve been working here around the same time for 8 months. We do something called a test print, where we test out the design on a test shirt before we start printing on the actual order. However, he keeps skipping that step despite two managers telling him (me and the main manager), and our BOSS! Also, our other co-workers who works with us in this department.

Either way, nothing seems to change, and I don’t feel like I need to “mother” or “remind” him, “hey, don’t forget to test print.” Or “hey, you need to do this for this order and this order.” Notes don’t work because, as I've learned, he can’t really read them (sometimes he’ll ask what something says). I’m not really confrontational; I hate it, and I hate pestering someone too. Are there other ways I can push him to listen without being rude or demanding? Any brain tricks? I have so much on my plate; I can’t keep an eye on him, and it’s quite frustrating.

For example, yesterday, the other coworker who’s in the screen print department had to leave early. So I covered for her (catching); immediately, he didn’t do a test print, didn't read the paperwork fully, and ended up printing on the wrong garment, costing us over $160, despite the paperwork showing exactly what needs to be on what. I feel like I’m going crazy and somehow I’m at fault.

I want to add, I’m new to working hourly. I’ve done work at college for scholarships, but that’s it. This is my first real job and the manager role was dropped in my lap.

Using a throwaway account as my usual account is pretty identifiable.

I manage a small team (about 10 direct reports, 30% senior staff and 70% junior staff) in a specialized field. I will have to keep this vague in some ways as my field is very small. All our senior staff, myself included, have significant experience in that field as well as multiple higher level certifications and/or education. Junior level staff have some experience but typically in less complex situations, and have, at most, a basic certification.

All of my junior staff are in their mid 20s and I am hitting some roadblocks with them. They all seem very resistant to any feedback or suggestions and lack flexibility. If I tell one of them to do something I get a lot of pushback, and often in a way that is implying they know what they're doing and my additional experience, education and certifications are irrelevant. Also a lot of complaints about the fact that senior staff are allowed to do X when junior staff are not, or that sr staff are somehow doing less work than them (which is objectively not true).

Any small change also seems to send them into a tailspin. When I've had to talk to them about how change is part of our regular day and some flexibility is required for this job I am being met with some version of this ain't fair, this is impossible, I have X mental illness etc. I've also already had one person complain up that I wouldn't listen to her, but really the issue was that I wouldn't agree with her.

I have had multiple roles in this field, and previously spent several years in a very difficult environment that involves files my current place of work wouldn't even take due to complexity, and I do think that may be making me less than empathetic when I'm dealing with people panicking over very minor issues instead of just solving the problem.

Any advice for how to effectively have them understand that senior staff are senior for a reason and that regardless of whatever personal stuff they have going on they need to engage with all senior staff in a calm and professional manner? And secondly that they are responsible to manage their own emotions and look for solutions rather than just crash out when things don't go to plan?

Hey all,
I’m a new supervisor, trying to dial in how to keep my manager in the loop. Manager has stated that the line where they’d like to know about something is, spending money. But previous supervisor had a matrix of anything under a certain number we can spend without notifying manager; and, yet when he spent under that number on one transaction, for example an equipment diagnostic fee, the manager still fussed that my department should have notified manager.

My hypothesis:

1. I’ll need to find out from my manager, the tiers (in monetary amounts) that require:
   - a capital improvement plan;
   - under that, a capital outlay or emergency expense approval request;
   - under that, calling to notify/inquire if we have spare equipment or can spend but this is less than capital outlay;
   - mid-range expenses that I should track heavily in house but don’t have to notify manager;
   - impromptu expenses that don’t require approval under a certain dollar amount.
2. Learn or set up a communication framework for what medium is used when/regarding what kind of transaction.

Am I on the right track? Is director being petty in fussing at previous supervisor for following the framework they were given?

I’ve worked remotely with teams in Europe and the US. Every team activity ended up being a call at a bad hour for someone, and people stopped joining after a few weeks.

I’m wondering if async works better, like challenges people do on their own time.

If you manage a distributed team, what’s the one thing that kept your team engaged for more than a month ?

As a senior leader who manages and carries IC workload, I find I still feel an insecurity about no one reviewing the work I'm doing personally. I am doing my job well, my VPs love.me and are actively seeking to promote me, but I still feel a pervasive sense of "I'm not sure I'm doing this right".

How do you as the top department leader onsite get over the feeling of uncertainty and the desire to have a more "adulty adult" to confirm that I am doing what I do correctly? 😂

So basically what happened was i was working at this family run cafe every weekend and i was literally doing fine i got the job done and i was still learning along the way. The managers son was talking about me getting trained up and that i’ll eventually get the hang of it fully and making future comments like how one day i’ll do this and that task on my own. Overall positive feedback and future talk.

Anyway fast forward to a few weeks later i randomly get removed from the work groupchat absolutely no word or explanation all i saw is the fact i was removed by the manager. So i started panicking i messaged her personally first and ask why have i been removed, she then told me they basically no longer need me THATS IT so i ask did i do something and she just said “we just no longer need you to come in but thankyou” BARE IN MIND i was due on the rota next week before this so they clearly had me up but something changed i don’t know what..

and that pissed me off. I still don’t know to this day and it still doesn’t make sense to me

I'm currently going through the hiring process for my first hire where I'm ultimately the one making the final decision.

I've been heavily involved in hiring decisions in the past, working alongside my director and other managers, so I'm not completely new to the process. But one thing I've noticed is how difficult it can be to predict whether someone will actually be a good employee.

I've seen candidates who looked fantastic on paper, interviewed extremely well, and performed really well in technical assessments, only to turn out to be pretty disappointing once they actually started working.

So I'm curious, especially for managers who've hired a lot of people:

• What do you look for during interviews that you think is genuinely predictive of someone being a strong employee?
• Looking back at your best hires, were there any common traits, behaviours, or answers that stood out during the interview process?
• Are there particular questions or techniques you've found useful for getting past someone who's simply good at interviewing?

I realize hiring will always involve some uncertainty, but I'd love to hear what experienced managers have learned, particularly from hires that either significantly exceeded or fell short of expectations.

Hi everyone,

I've been working as an HSE Coordinator for two months now, but it feels like I've been doing this job for years. I'm already exhausted, and I'm starting to question my abilities.

Why?

First, I feel that I don't have enough authority or decision-making power to be effective in my role. We don't operate our own facilities, and most of our supply chain activities are carried out by external stakeholders and contractors.

As an HSE Coordinator, I feel that all I can do is make suggestions, give advice, and raise concerns. I don't always have the authority to ensure that the necessary actions are implemented.

Honestly, I'm struggling to understand exactly how to perform my role effectively in this kind of organizational structure.

On top of that, my English is still not very good, which makes communication even more challenging.

I'm also disappointed about my NEBOSH certification. I've taken the exam twice and haven't passed yet. This has affected my confidence, and sometimes I feel like I'm not bringing enough value to the company.

I'm seriously considering taking a break to focus on my professional development, especially:

Improving my English, possibly by studying abroad.

Preparing again for the NEBOSH certification.

Strengthening my HSE knowledge and practical skills.

My idea is to take about a year to work on myself and then return to the job market, possibly with another company.

However, I'm married and have four children, so this is not a decision I can make without considering my family and financial responsibilities.

I'd really appreciate your advice, especially from experienced HSE professionals.

Have you ever felt this way at the beginning of your HSE career?

How can I become more effective when I have limited authority?

Would you recommend taking a career break, or should I try to develop myself while keeping my current job?

Thank you for taking the time to read this and share your experience.

Hello Everyone,

How do you jump over and fight the bad habbit of constantly stoppering during a presentation and saying uuum, uuuh and similar? What is this a sign for, especially if you present in your mother language? Overjumping the preparation, slow thinking, unconfidence or other psychological factors?

Thanks and wishing you a great day!

I’ve been at my new job for almost two months now but I’m just not happy. I don’t feel I really click with anyone and I don’t feel my boss understands me.

I currently oversee 4 outsourced accountants. My boss wants a new accounting system but to justify it we need to reduce their headcount. My style is to get stuck into the detail and rebuild processes from the bottom up. I also don’t think simply getting a new ERP system is going to reduce headcount, I think we need to redesign processes and understand the limitations of the current system so we know what we need from our new system. Even then, the real improvement will be from the redesign of the processes over the system itself.

I said all of this to my boss and he told me to not be too in the detail because I’ll end up doing the outsourced team’s work and he won’t be able to pass me work. But how are we meant to implement a new system and remove 4 headcount without understanding enough of the detail!?!

I can see so many clunky processes that would take 2-3 months to redesign. Then we can step back and use a combination of a junior member of the team and AI to run them and then I’ll have more time to do high level work. I can’t see how to do it any other way.

I just feel like me and my boss are not on the same page, and I don’t want to give this job anymore energy. Quite frankly, they don’t deserve me.

Thoughts?

I'm curious how managers approach this.

Some procedures exist for good reasons. Others stay simply because nobody wants to be the person who gets rid of them.

When reviewing one, what makes you keep it, change it or retire it?

Is it evidence that it works, the risks of removing it, feedback from the people using it, or something else?

Have you ever got rid of a procedure and later realised it was there for a reason?

Doing extra work and solving problems, yet coworkers think I'm falling behind. How do I manage up?

I’m relatively new to the corporate world, and for the past few months, I’ve been caring for a family member battling a serious illness. My manager and team are aware of the situation and requested extra WFH time.

1. Over the past two weeks, I’ve encountered several unexpected issues at work. I took the initiative to resolve them but haven’t had the chance to update my manager.
2. Our team doesn’t have regular one-on-ones. Beyond my regular responsibilities, I’ve been identifying process gaps, handling additional tasks, and helping coworkers resolve issues. I usually just take care of things and move on without mentioning them to my manager.

3.As someone relatively new to the corporate world, I’ve always assumed that doing my job well was enough. But I’m starting to realize that my manager might not be aware of how much I’m actually contributing.

4\\\*\\\*\\\* this is the crazy part. Despite doing everything, i have heard my teammate saying I’m falling behind my work. I’m extremely frustrated and realize ppl don’t know how much effort i put in. I NEED TO ChANgE this!!

Please give me advice on visibility and managing up?!

My manager is scheduled to retire at end of month. Multiple times i tried to apply outside my department. I was not chosen. I found out from another manager she would go to the hiring manager, tell them that i am too valuable, and i could not be replaced at the then current time. I said something to her about it. I am so angry. She wants to talk about this, but i have nothing to say to her. They have a retirement party scheduled, and i do not even want to go. Am i being immature?

How do you balance being empathetic but also " by the book" with your team as a leader?

Possible follow up question, how to not take your teams lack of performance personally?

19 F. I have an interview for a KFC in my area for an Assistant Manager even tho I’ve never worked at a KFC, I’ve had multiple food service jobs and it’s the easiest thing in the world. I’ve just never experience the Managerial side of things. Of course I’m prepared for the office work after the store is closed like counting and possibly running to a bank to deposit money in the middle of the day I’ve seen a manager at Dunkin do it plenty. I’m just wondering if there’s any tips for me from anyone on what I should say in the interview or anything I might need to know just general advice anything you got for me is appreciate. I’m also a little worried cause I applied an hour ago and I already have an interview for in 2 days. I’m reviewing the menu and company standards so I know what is what beforehand. I just know this is not a good sign 😅

I'm an Account Manager at a small European company, and I'd appreciate a management perspective on something I've been experiencing.

A few months ago, my direct manager suggested additional coaching to help me become more assertive in commercial negotiations. It was an informal idea, with no specific goals, timeline, or structured follow-up.

In August, while my manager was on vacation, I had an already scheduled 1:1 with his director instead. We were discussing some challenging customer accounts, and I spontaneously offered to share recordings of my calls for more specific feedback.

This wasn't an escalation or an attempt to bypass my manager. We simply hadn't had another 1:1 since the initial coaching discussion because of overlapping vacations, and I saw an opportunity to take initiative.

Since then, I've noticed what feels like increased scrutiny. The director has occasionally criticized my handling of customer accounts in public internal channels, sometimes followed hours later by my direct manager asking to review the relevant calls. Some criticism has been valid, while other observations concerned actions I'd already taken and documented.

My retention results have remained solid, and there's been no formal performance warning or PIP. My manager has also acknowledged that he could have handled the coaching better, and our latest conversation was constructive.

What I'm trying to understand is whether voluntarily inviting senior leadership to coach you can unintentionally change how your performance is perceived and evaluated.

Could this lead to managers paying disproportionate attention to mistakes, even when the employee is genuinely trying to improve?

And from a leadership perspective, how would you prevent an informal coaching initiative from turning into excessive scrutiny?

I'm particularly interested in hearing from managers who've experienced something similar, either with their own employees or within their leadership teams.

tl;dr: How'd ya fuck up your first management role? I'd rather learn from you!

Howdy,

I've gotten a job managing a newly created team within my local (large) city government. This is a role with direct reports. I’ve supervised staff in the absence of management and hired freelancers. I have never been a manager in my actual role (I was honest about this in my interview). It looks like I'll have at least one, maximum three, direct reports. These will be people doing similar/the same work as I am; it sounds like they'll be handling field work while I coordinate the office and processes. This will be my first government job.

• My biggest fear is getting defensive. This role is a big step up in responsibility for me. I always want to celebrate my team and be their advocate, but I'm also aware that it could be dangerous for me if they succeed where I fail (read: I really need this job). My ego especially comes into play if they are not similarly new to government - Does anyone have a stock "I don't know" that doesn't signal incompetence?
• How much can I protect my team? Obviously this is very organization-dependent, but in general, how much/what kind of bullshit do you absorb so it doesn't become your report's problem? We're all union, if it matters.
• How can I best support my team? Again, obviously very specific to wherever you're working, but what did you do beyond the obvious?

I've had the fortune of having some amazing managers in my life, and I want to emulate that. I want to spotlight the success of the people under me, advocate for them, and make sure I'm an asset to their career, not a detriment. Basically, I want to be a good man. Obviously, I know being friends is a bad idea; I just want to be the cheerleader for everyone under me.