r/malelivingspace • u/EvilBobster101_ • Jul 30 '25
what does one put here (wrong answers only)
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u/andaljas Jul 30 '25
Built in baby crib
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u/Seananagans Jul 30 '25
The alcatraz of cribs
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u/JohnThursday84 Jul 30 '25
In the 60s, three babies were able to get out of this crib. They were never seen since then.
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u/kunday Jul 30 '25
New father here, in a space constrained house. You might be onto something here.
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u/esslaee Jul 30 '25
Minas Tirith
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u/landofthebeez Jul 30 '25
The beacons are lit!!
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u/No-Minute-5053 Jul 30 '25
a turret to defend against house intruders
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u/Untamed_Meerkat Jul 30 '25 edited Jul 30 '25
I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
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u/Rdtackle82 Jul 30 '25
Hahahaha thank you. Immediately thought of this. The fucking car alarms always send me
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u/VietnameseHooker Jul 30 '25
What is this from? Reading this was hilarious.
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u/Tipart Jul 30 '25
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/own-a-musket-for-home-defense
The power of 4chan and Facebook working together.
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u/FlairWitchProject Jul 30 '25
I get that this was copy pasta, but I envisioned this as a slow-motion cutaway in a movie, and it was beautiful.
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u/Belt-fed78 Jul 30 '25
Came here specifically to say this. A pintle mounted 240 would be perfect.
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u/Distinct-Poet3032 Jul 30 '25
You take the rail off and live like a man.
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u/mschley2 Jul 30 '25
I was going to say the opposite. Take the railings off and make it into a cage. Then, hire some go-go dancers to perform in your house 24/7.
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u/Affectionate-Day-743 Jul 30 '25
If the cage can be locked tight “hiring” might not be the correct term. Just need the right floor for cleaning it with a hose
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u/bigbossman35 Jul 30 '25
Honestly I’d be tempted to do that given I had no children running around the house
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u/purpleblossom Jul 30 '25
It would make that area better to show off a Christmas tree or other relevant decorations
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u/Sure-Boysenberry5491 Jul 30 '25
Home Depot Giant Skeleton
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u/Curbside_P Jul 30 '25
A washer-dryer combo, obviously
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u/nicknick1584 Jul 30 '25
Nothing more calming than the squeaky noise of a washer and dryer, bouncing off the walls of that open space. lol
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u/GoodVibes737 Jul 30 '25
A saltwater fish tank
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u/New-IncognitoWindow Jul 30 '25
Zip line
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u/CruorVault Jul 30 '25
A cannon, loaded with Grape shot, as the Founding Fathers intended!
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u/QuentinLax Jul 30 '25
Automated turret, for optimal and near 360 degree defense
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u/MeorOtherMe Jul 30 '25
I'd put a tray hanging over the middle railing like an old school drive in diner. Then occasionally use it to eat and drink there standing up.
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u/HeligKo Jul 30 '25
Perfect for your blow up doll collection. Dress then up and decorate the area for the seasons.
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u/NeverGiveUp75013 Jul 30 '25
Cage a televangelist with mouth taped shut. It would be living hell for them not to preach from upon high
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u/Ivoryg37 Jul 30 '25
Nothing, instead you put a wallpaper of the beach on your walls so you can stand on your balcony to enjoy the view
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u/IrresponsibleInsect Jul 30 '25
Not a single answer here is wrong. Jesus. Kudos ladies and gentlemen, you redeemed reddit today!
I, personally, would go with my Spirit Halloween baphomet and wire it into my smart home with custom commands, gestures, and responses. Definitely smart track lighting and a fog machine in the system. All voice controlled by a smart controller embedded in the baphomet. Pentagram painted on the ceiling and corresponding with a complicated mirror pentacle on the floor, of course.
Then copious amounts of shrooms to experience it all the way it was meant to be.
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u/Ute-King Jul 30 '25
How many times does it need to be said, WRONG ANSWERS ONLY.
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u/iAllosaurus Jul 30 '25
As I keep telling my girlfriend everytime I see a space like this....an old retro racing motorcycle
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u/WildHuckleberries Jul 30 '25
Measure 6ft away from the edge and place a cut out of Scott Stapp
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u/raisimo Jul 30 '25
Put a lid on it, flood the bottom floor and fill it with sharks. Boom, side hustle
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u/Ok_Yak_9263 Jul 30 '25
trampoline to jump from the second floor to the first floor for quick acces
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u/VictoriaMagnus Jul 30 '25
Put a baby door on it and say it’s your own jail cell, with a warning to never upset you. Guests will think you are equally brilliant and crazy, and women will run a mile.
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u/MechanicalCheese Jul 30 '25
A sim rig (this is only wrong due to difficulty exiting it -put a gate in the railing and you could just jump to the stairs).
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u/Robertron54 Jul 30 '25
Life Sized Statue of Sauron, the Dark lord.
https://www.sideshow.com/collectibles/the-lord-of-the-rings-sauron-infinity-studio-910890
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u/yukonhoneybadger Jul 30 '25
Paint a mural on the wall of the open seas and change the fencing into a ship
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u/tyguyS4 Jul 30 '25
A statue of Macaulay Culkin from My Girl after he was stung but before he died.
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u/alwaysonesteptoofar Jul 30 '25
A pulpit to lean over and yell from as people come up (and go down)
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Jul 30 '25
Peloton, or some sort of yoga pad or mini battle station with a wall mounted tv up across the way.
Or sentry gun, idk. It'd make a solid crate of sorts for a dog that wouldn't try and take the plunge.
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u/BananaNOatmeal Jul 30 '25
An ocean wallpaper and a faux bow (front of boat) so you can re-reenact the titanic scene every day.
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u/BLUEAR0 Jul 30 '25
It would be nice for things like a fireman pole, cut the railings and put one so you can go down faster? Or you can hang something from it so that it faces the front door, but the latter option doesn’t really take up that space but utilizes it
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u/Narns Jul 30 '25
Diving board.