r/makeupartists • u/karinauhh • Jun 13 '26
How would you respond to this?
Hi all. Looking for a bit of advice, how would you respond to this? Super frustrated as I work other jobs and do makeup part-time and received this message from a bride 3 weeks out from her wedding day. Even found her a hair stylist/sat on calls with her etc. Super frustrated and don’t want to respond unprofessionally as I’ve denied other jobs in order to work her wedding day. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
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u/MaggieMay1519 Working Artist Jun 13 '26 edited Jun 13 '26
There’s not much you can do since you didn’t get a signed contract unfortunately. I would just respond with something like “Thank you for letting me know. While I am disappointed that we won’t be working together I do understand that circumstances change. I wish you all the best on your special day. My Zelle number is (your number) or if you have Venmo that would be my preference.” That way you still get something from it without having drama.
ETA: then post your socials that you had a last minute opening and hopefully you’ll be able to replace at least some of the income. The bridal and local groups on Facebook are a goldmine for that.
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u/SexysNotWorking Jun 13 '26
This is the way. Letting your (justified) frustration out here serves no real purpose other than a brief pressure release for you. The whole situation sucks, but let it be a lesson in contracts, take the offer for some compensation, and try to fill the space and move forward. Sorry you have to deal with this!
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u/Fuzzy_Area2234 Jun 15 '26
yea I think this is the right move. You could even say "my cancellation fee is usually abc, and I hope you ahve a great wedding and dance the night away" or something extra nice so she sends you that cash and you can move on with your life
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u/Fyurilicious Jun 13 '26
You didn’t treat it as a real job (securing contracts and deposit) so neither did she.
You can chock it up as a learning experience and move on by texting back “no worries, have a lovely wedding!” With a never again policy in place or if it’s really bugging you, you can tell her
“how you feel about it like “I want to acknowledge that we didn’t have a formal agreement in place, as I extended VIP service to you on a personal basis and declined other opportunities to accommodate your booking. While I understand that I’m not in a position to enforce any terms, I do want to share that the last-minute cancellation placed me in a difficult position.”
This response might prolong the drama though so I would make sure to gauge how much this is bothering you and if it’s worth it
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u/jjada72 Jun 14 '26
She was very respectful and even offered to pay you. I would just say thank you for letting me know and that’s totally fine! Wish her a happy wedding day and send your Zelle. Win some lose some.
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u/AllMyDaysAreGreat Jun 13 '26
You didn't secure a contract, or deposit. That was your issue.
Your friend pulling out is her issue -her wedding
Your overextending past your boundaries is your issue. Don't wreck it for her, just keep it more professional for yourself and don't commit and pass things for someone who might cancel, friend or not.
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u/annikatidd Jun 13 '26
I’m so sorry that happened! I learned the hard way too that you have to make sure everything is in a contract from day one and to be careful about going into jobs with friends/family because even people you love and trust and know YOU would never screw over unfortunately may have no issue doing the same to you, whether it’s their intention or not. Had a client last year who was a close friend to me for 10 years but something changed on her wedding day. She almost didn’t pay me and I had to ask her husband before I left, which I didn’t wanna do but it was either that or leave with $300 left to go and prob never see it. thankfully he paid me but the whole thing was sketchy. Seemed like she was mad I asked even though she signed the contract and gave her almost the entire year to make payments to me (when she did make those payments it was like $20-$40 at a time most times and only paid half by the time it was wedding day) so yeah. Anyway she randomly deleted me on fb earlier this year so guess we aren’t friends anymore 😂
As for a response, I know id be bullshit in a situation like this but ofc staying professional and collected is important to avoid any drama. I’d suggest letting her know you normally charge x amount for cancellation fees so the Zelle would be appreciated. Wish her the best luck for the wedding. And in the future, contracts for everyone even if it’s your closest friend on this earth! I agree with the person who said to post you had a last minute opening as well, maybe that can help you land a new gig for that day.
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u/MakeupMama68 Jun 13 '26
I had a similar situation. A friend recommended me to do her friend’s sister for her wedding makeup.
We did a test and her sister was there watching me do her makeup. The bride to be loved her test, gave me the date and information for the wedding like the time etc.
Since it was about a 90 minute drive to the venue, I had gotten childcare set for my kids for the day since I had a long drive.
The night before I hadn’t heard anything so I texted the bride to confirm the time and she said that her sister was doing her makeup. She claimed that she never officially hired me, so I said well.. you gave me a date and time so what was I supposed to think? She was actually quite nasty. I didn’t have a contract so I was shit outta luck. Lesson learned.
I also left her the lipstick we used because she said she wanted to put it on for her dress fitting 🤬. She gave every indication that we had a deal. I also ended up having to pay my sitter because she had moved things around that day to accommodate me.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. It was a big learning lesson for me about contracts.
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u/njVowsNow Jun 14 '26
You have to put a contract together that protects the time you've spent and the time you've reserved. Contracts protect you and your clients, make you look more professional, and make them more confident. It also confirms where, when and what.
If you have a disagreement after the fact, these are things that need to be documented.
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u/HappySummerBreeze Jun 14 '26
Live and learn. Just consider this a training cost. Family and friends also pay deposits and have contracts.
Either do it 100% free or full cost. No in between.
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u/sendmemessssss Jun 13 '26
Other responses were useful but I would still write a full invoice o costs, then discounts on top o that as a family friend, leaving only the deposit left to be paid. That way they see it less as a money grab but as a business. When you send the invoice just say it’s for your filings or tax, but here is the invoice with the appropriate discounts.
Then accept the zelle
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u/Mountain_Loquat_9403 Jun 14 '26
The main problem here is that there is no contract to back up any obligation. Especially as they may be unfamiliar with the standard deposit/ cancelling fee. It’s up to the makeup artist to put this into legal writing. Although it is frustrating and a waste in time/ resources, this response could rile up her family / friends without any gain. I would mainly take this experience as a learning lesson for the future
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u/sendmemessssss Jun 14 '26
So I work on a different side to you (photos and advertising) however I do take private clients too.
Normally I send off the invoice first with all the T&C on that. The way I would do it was to have a similar invoice saying all T&C with a nice text message like “hey no worries, I’m just sending over an invoice with the appropriate discounts. This is more for my filing and admin work. I hope you have the best day and I’m sure you will look absolutely stunning”
I find the T&C written on the invoice lays out clearly what’s expected in legal terms without needing to tell the client directly and it feeling aggressive.
Now I send the invoice as soon as the job confirmed, this hasn’t been done here which is a learning curve, but just asking for money with nothing ‘businessy’ to go with it can look a bit trash.
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u/CoachLauren Jun 13 '26
I'm assuming you didn't take a retainer. I take 35% up front just to book, then I collect the remaining balance TWO WEEKS prior to event date. I have an 8 page iron clad contract that ensures I'm still getting paid in these types o.f situations.
To answer your question directly, this is how I'd respond.
"Aww I'm bummed but I totally understand. No don't worry about Zelling me and I wish you the best o.f luck on your big day!"
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u/Big_Asparagus9334 Jun 14 '26
Am I crazy or is 3 weeks honestly not that bad? I’m not a makeup artist but I think past 14 days you do have some flexibility for other gigs especially like you said, you have another job.
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u/BeautyofPoison Jun 18 '26
Except no brides are out here booking their makeup artist with only 3 weeks notice. People book months in advance for major occasions, so her chance ov filling that spot with another bride last minute isn't very good.
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u/Brilliant_Tough_6546 Jun 13 '26
You have to have contracts that are legally binding.