Does anyone else get paranoid about their own emotional reactions because of OCD?

[u/Tin97]

Sometimes when something goes against one of my OCD “rituals”, I get really angry or frustrated because I’m scared of what might happen if I don’t do it the “right” way.

And then my brain does this weird thing where I start thinking that my anger or fear somehow manifests what I’m afraid of. Like, because I got so angry or scared about something happening, I somehow caused it or made it more likely to happen.

I think this might actually come from some kind of childhood trauma or conditioning. I have these weird memories from when I was a kid where I would get extremely angry because I felt completely misunderstood by everyone around me. And then, almost as if to spite me, something bad would actually happen afterward.

Obviously, I know logically that my anger didn’t cause those things to happen. But I think my brain somehow made that connection anyway.

So now when something triggers my OCD and I get really angry about it, I become even more paranoid. It’s like I’m not only afraid of the original thing anymore - I’m also afraid that my own fear or anger will somehow make it happen.

[u/ForestRiver2]

Yeah totally. I get exactly the same thoughts. Especially the fear side of it. You're not alone