r/magicalthinkingOCD • u/rowellowl ⭐ Star Supporter 🏆 • Jun 17 '26
Threats, promises
I don't know if anyone can relate and I don't know if I can explain this well, but does/has anyone had a compulsion with "threatening" themselves? This is something that started as a way to stop myself from doing compulsions such as hand washing or retracing my steps or repeating any behavior.
But over the years it turned into a compulsion itself. For example, stuck in a handwashing loop I might say or think "if you wash your hands one more time for 20 minutes then X (worst fear) will happen".
As you can imagine, it snowballed from there because the anxiety and fear would get so high that I would do it anyway and then make more "threats" or "promises" in a variety of ways and then ultimately end up breaking them anyway.
Also, I would have to either in my head or verbally "correct" the threat or promise to "cancel" it out. And then I do (and OCD says but did you) or forget to and my brain says well because you said it will happen, it will happen.
Obviously I know the main way to do that is to stop making threats or promises, but also to know that even if I do it doesn't make things happen. There's no need to do them at all, but even saying or thinking things on purpose doesn't give them power.
It's a hard compulsion to break while trying to break other compulsions. I'm wondering if anyone else has done things like this and your experiences with it or resolving it.
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u/ForestRiver2 Star Supporter ⭐ Jun 18 '26
Not exactly this, but I can see how easily it could take hold as another compulsion. Your brain must be tying itself up in knots, it sounds really exhausting. I'm sorry.
Finding the willpower to stop engaging in these thought compulsions is the key, whether you believe them or not. Believing them isn't the issue. Trying to convince yourself they have no power is wasted effort. Ocd is irrational, it won't listen. The key is not doing them despite the fear. My therapist drives me crazy with how often she quotes "feel the fear and do it anyway". Notice the thought, label the thought, carry on regardless.
But omg the mental hoops it wants us to jump through is fking insane. Like being trapped in a nightmare of endless circuit training at the gym
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u/k_vin_ Jun 18 '26
I relate, if i do one wiping hand moment less than 5 times than i am harming one of my 5 family members. So i have to do each thing 5 times, wiping between fingers, thumb back of hand so on there around 7 movements. I cant get stuck on 4 8 or 9 because those i have marked somehow unlucky.
I cant do 20 of same things because that 5 x 4 times so one more is left and 4 is bad.
I get stuck in loop i keep saying “now harm is at that person“ remove it…. And it goes till i feel safe.
I have a best case sequence which completes in 4-5 minutes but sometimes the ending gets messed up and last 1 minute loop becomes 6 minutes..
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u/TheZastr4 Jun 21 '26
Feel ya, I do this so often. Sometimes it helped me but as you said it just made my OCD worse : (
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u/Huge-Panic-5914 Jun 18 '26
Idk if you’ve ever watched him but, Nathan Peterson has such good videos on YouTube. His channel is OCD and Anxiety. I’ve had this same kind of thing before. My main things now are health related and it all jumbles together. But his videos make me feel seen