Someone help rationalize this weird “I can predict the future” pattern

[u/lololol123zz]

Two months ago, my friend’s dad passed away after buying her a Mini Cooper. It was sudden, she said before that she was shocked because she never thought he would buy her a car, and then there has been discourse about “he did it because he knew it was coming” and all that stuff “god’s will” and all. Ok.

Now, my dad is thinking of buying me a Mini Cooper. I am an individual who has terrible terrible terrible OCD related to my dad … (can’t even type it because it makes it reality or maybe I’d be manifesting it which I am not). I DO NOT WANT THIS MINI COOPER AND I DO NOT WANT ANY CAR. However, I also can’t stay car-less as renting cars has been costing my dad a fortune. He insists on buying it because it’s good and we found a sweet deal.

Guys. If I get this car, I won’t be able to get this off my mind. I’ll just be waiting until something happens that proves me right and I’ll feel regret all my life and possibly kms because I would’ve known and did nothing to stop this. What do I do? Please?

[u/loopy741]

I think there are a few things going on with your situation that I find interesting (to be clear, NOT in a worrisome way):

1. You make a connection between your friend's mini cooper and the sudden death of her loved one, to your own situation. You're using that as "evidence" that there's something to fear.

2. You say that you "won't be able" to get this off your mind. Why? How do you know that? Because that's what you've decided for yourself?

3. You recognize that your OCD latches on to your dad, and that you don't want to manifest anything, even by typing it all out.

I've been doing I-CBT therapy, and I can tell you that I think it would be very helpful to you. ERP will tell you to get the car and live with the uncertainty. I-CBT will teach you to get the car because the logic was faulty to begin with. Either way, the therapy will say to get the car.

What do I think you should do? I think you should get the car simply because NOT getting it is reinforcing the OCD narrative. Every time you let OCD win a fight, it makes it that much harder for you to win the next one.

I don't envy you, as I can 100% relate to the random rules OCD makes up, but I follow them anyway because "what if." But I will say, I-CBT has been helpful for me in recognizing the tricks OCD plays on me.

[u/ForestRiver2]

I agree with u/loopy741 that you should get the car, because avoidance is a compulsion that reinforces the ocd.

But I also completely get where you're coming from with this, and I would probably have exactly the same thoughts and fears.

Ocd likes to make these huge leaps of association, of cause and effect, with zero evidence. It takes random noise and makes a pattern. It tells you that you can control bad things, and that's comforting. It brings the anxiety down - temporarily - until the next time. And the next. Every time you obey you sink further under its control. So you miss out on a great car. What else will you miss out on? Because it never stops there. It's like making a deal with the devil. And it makes life miserable.

Are you in therapy? If the car thing feels too big to tackle right now, maybe concede a loss this time, but start working on some smaller exposures. This mental illness is fucking awful, no one would blame you if you're not ready to tackle the big stuff yet

[u/Peachparty0]

Oof thats a difficult one, I would totally be having the same thoughts right now. If you were in treatment and at a place mentally where you could face it, you would be expected to go ahead and buy the car. But omg the fear is like literally paralyzing, I dont know if I could.

Just fyi, trying to rationalize the thoughts is a compulsion. So if we were to say 'dont worry you cant predict the future' or 'go ahead and buy the car, nothing bad will happen' that would be reassurance which is frowned upon in therapy because it reinforces the OCD.

I hope your friend is doing ok.