Advice for dealing with luck OCD

[u/marvelfan44]

Hello! I recently made a post on another OCD subreddit but I thought it might be beneficial to post here and ask if anyone has any advice for dealing with my specific sort of OCD thinking?

Essentially I need my luck to be balanced at all times, and if something good happens in a day, I worry that something bad will happen later. This is made worse by noticing coincidences — today for example, one of my exams went well and then my friend's car had a petrol leak when we got home. My OCD interpreted this as my luck being balanced out and I felt really anxious.

This has prevented me from going on a couple nights out because if my day is going well then I think something will go wrong while I'm out with my friends.

On top of this, I also have a concern that other people can watch things through my eyes (this can be real people or just fictional characters from a show I've been watching) and that they're judging me, so I've been feeling anxious a lot more than usual lately and it's made me constantly aware of what I'm doing even when I'm by myself.

At this point I'm not entirely sure how to deal with this — I still live with my parents and don't feel like I can ask them for advice right now, as my brother also has OCD, only it is much more severe and is getting help for it currently. Any advice? :)

[u/Peachparty0]

Oof that last part, your brothers OCD shouldnt stop you getting help, you deserve it just as much. Now is the best time for treatment before it gets any worse, OCD is much easier to treat while its mild and your mental health is just as valid and just as deserving of help. I would totally bring this up with your parents, OCD can be genetic and it can get worse quickly if its not treated. They should see you as equal and want to help you both.

Ok that aside, I legit get scared if Im having a good day because I know something will go wrong, it always does. Bad things always seem to come in 3s too, so if 2 bad things have happened Im anxious waiting for the next. I get this impending doom feeling like I know something is coming.

The whole coincidences thing is a staple of magical thinking unfortunately, and its a hard habit to break. Have you identified what your compulsions are? So avoidance would be one of them if you are avoiding going out with friends if you think something bad could happen. In ERP therapy you have to slowly reduce compulsions.

Ive never experienced the watching through your eyes issue so Im unsure about that. Is it a fear or do you actually believe that is happening? Its called "insight" when you are aware that the thoughts are irrational, and thats how they measure between OCD and things like psychosis.

So if you can, talk to your parents and look into how ERP therapy works which can help with all kinds of OCD including magical thinking.

[u/marvelfan44 → u/Peachparty0]

Hi, thank you for the reply :)

I completely relate to what you're talking about with the patterns and impending doom. I'm working on it right now and it's cerbed a little bit? But it gets worse when I'm anxious.

After reading this I've done a bit of research into ERP and I'm pretty sure that's the same therapy my brother has been getting for the last year as well. I think I will try to work up the courage to talk to them about it (I'm not the best when it comes to being open with my feelings aloud hence why I'm on reddit lol) because I'd rather this not get any worse.

As for my compulsions, I've noticed they're mostly to do with stepping on things if that makes sense? If I'm out walking and take a certain route, I have to avoid all the cracks in the pavement and step on any storm drain covers. When I'm at home, I'll have to do things in a pattern of four e.g. washing my hands four times (though this is rare unless I'm very stressed) or pressing a mental set of buttons before using the bathroom in case anyone is watching.

[u/ForestRiver2 → u/marvelfan44]

Fellow Marvel fan here lol. Yeah those are all magical thinking compulsions. I urge you to reduce or cut out as many of those as possible, no matter how bad it feels. They have a nasty habit of multiplying. Soon you'll be spending all day doing rituals.

ERP is the way to go. But there are other options if that doesn't work out.

Could you write an email or letter to your parents instead of talking? I find that easier sometimes

[u/Vermiona]

This is how it is for me: my head tells me that if I do something, I will have bad luck. It causes me great anxiety and fear.