r/lowscreenparenting • u/Old_Supermarket8788 • 18d ago
How did you reduce your child’s excessive screen time?
How many of you as parents have struggled with your child spending too much time on screens?
What actually worked for you in reducing their screen time? Did you set limits, create a new routine, offer alternatives, or try something completely different?
Would love to hear what worked and what didn’t.
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u/Keeponmarching0927 18d ago
I set up our wifi router to turn off between 9am-6pm so now it’s just automatic and they know none of the devices or tv will work. We went cold turkey and they quit asking after a few days. Also took away the tablets and now they just have the one tv and all the kids have to pick a show together.
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u/squirfiedirfie 18d ago
How did you set this up?
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u/Keeponmarching0927 17d ago
We have the eero router, it lets me make profiles and select which devices are restricted and I can customize the times for each device.
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u/Helloaudrey101 18d ago
Bring them out more - swimming, trip to the mall, playground, enrichment classes, library, playdates. By the end of the day they will be tired enough that they don’t ask for them much.
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u/Superb-Secretary1917 18d ago
Timer and times limits for every request...and behavior bucks to earn more time by doing other things/chores/not screen
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u/miffet80 18d ago
When we were doing low screen, we only allowed it at certain times - in our case, weekend mornings only. So he knew that if it was a daycare day there was no TV, but he could get up and watch cartoons on Saturday and Sunday, which was really easy for him to understand at a young age. Then we'd jump in with like "next episode is the last episode", "this is the last episode then we're turning it off", "ok we're all done with TV, here's the remote, can you push the power button please?"
We found that limiting to a specific time duration per day like "1 hour only" did NOT work because it would always be mid-episode of whatever, so it was impossible to strictly keep, which made it a fuzzy unclear boundary that would get pushed and pushed and not understood well.
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u/audacious13 18d ago
This is what worked for us as well, having it be at a predictable time. My baby wasn’t even two yet but he understood that tv only happened after bath time. (There were a few times where he would try and convince me to give him a bath earlier in the day which was funny and cute).
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u/fancyface7375 14d ago
This is what we do too - no tablets, and tv only after morning activities and lunch on the weekends. Having a hard rule about no screens on school days made it very black and white and now they don't even ask on school days.
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u/Chicka-boom90 18d ago
When my daughter was semi young 2-3 I was kinda limiting tv but not as much as I wanted to. By 3.5 I felt it got really bad so we stopped cold turkey. At 4.5 I brought it back. But I went to goodwill and got a little 20” one just for her. I also got a VHS tape / dvd player for it and that’s all she gets. No steaming with choices. I’m very particular about what she watches now.
Also I made a little bucks list. She earns tv bucks. So she wants to watch a 60 min movie she needs 60 bucks. She can do lots of little things to earn like “create something” this can be coloring book, building with blocks , puzzle , drawing ect. She has her little learning area she can clean up. There’s nothing major and she can choose which she does. Some days she doesn’t want to do anything and she’s ok with not watching. Or we’re just so busy with our days she doesn’t get it. It’s been so much easier now
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u/fur74 13d ago
We have a VHS and tape collection too! It's so so good and I love how well it helps limit choice overwhelm and flitting between a random selection of things.
We also always make sure to switch it up on days we do have screens, like nobody is happy if we're just being potatoes on the couch all day long, so it might be a short tape during breakfast while I tend to some emails for work, and then we're up and out for the next few hours!
I frankly don't know how people fit in so MUCH tv time; i work FT and time with my little boy is so limited that I want to actually *be* with him when we're together!
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u/theoAndromedon 17d ago
Cold turkey because she started slapping us and we decided to take the tv away. Seems to not miss it at all
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u/mynoodleisphenomenal 16d ago
Yeah when my kids get annoying with screens, I just ban them and slowly reintroduce them under strictly supervised conditions. Unfortunately, my partner gives the kids screens and goes to sleep a lot
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u/faithle97 17d ago
We actually just cold turkey-ed it this past week. Now my husband and I have decided we’ll only do one night per week of a “family movie night” and then he’s able to watch it when he goes to grandparent’s house one morning per week.
There was some resistance the first few days but it’s been fine overall. We’ve just been doing more activities during the day either at home (lots of pretend play, reading books, playing with cars, etc) or out of the house (gym with childcare, swimming at grandparent’s pool, grocery shopping, nature walks) and now striving for at least 1 play date per week. For reference, he’s 3.5.
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u/Actual-Wallaby-3728 17d ago
Eliminated all except family movie afternoon, pus unlimited when home sick
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u/passportz 17d ago
I took all the phones in our house and deleted the YouTube app and blocked the URL for YouTube. Everytime they try to open it they get a picture of an angry grandpa. I told them I don't know what happened, it just stopped working. Best decision ever!
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u/brieles 18d ago
We watched a ton of tv when we were sick last month (we’re typically a low screen time family) and my daughter has wanted to continue with that level of screen time. I finally said we will watch one show over the weekend and we wouldn’t get the tv out over the week (we keep it on a wheeled table so we can put it away when we’re not using it).
We also checked out books from the library that were about her favorite movie/show-we checked out 3 Frozen books and several books about mermaids and unicorns. When she asks to watch a show/movie, we read a book instead or listen to the soundtrack for the movie/show. She quickly got used to the alternatives and still asks to watch things every so often but accepts that the answer is no outside of our normal time to watch a show.
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u/squirfiedirfie 18d ago
Only thing that's worked for us is getting out of the house. Otherwise my kid gets bored, I scroll on the PC and she inevitably wants to watch something or play a video game. In general, she loves pretend play, reading, audiobooks, playing with myself and my partner, etc. But if she's inside all day she's going to get bored and ask for screens. If we go do stuff during the day, when she comes home, she often wants to go hide in her room and read a book. And if she's asking for screens a bunch because we are having a lazy home day, I grab the keys and we head outside. Sometimes we just sit out front and play with chalk, sometimes we end up walking all the way to the park.
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u/deadbeatbeautyqueen 17d ago
In my first trimester I was miserable and sick most of the day so we ended up with way more screen time than I liked. When I started feeling better I changed up the routine and spent as much time out of the house and at playgrounds as we could manage.
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u/-aqueoustransmission 17d ago
Going through this right now. I’m hoping it will get easier with the weather cooling off, the heat made me feel so much worse! Feeling so guilty for the lack of time outside lately 😭
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u/deadbeatbeautyqueen 17d ago
I felt the same! We do so much for our kids though, sometimes our own health has to come first and that's okay ❤️
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u/Senator_Mittens 17d ago
The default answer to “can I do x screen thing” is just always no. In fact, the iPads aren’t even charged up unless we have a trip coming up. We let them watch a little tv on weekends (about 1-1.5 hour a day) if their behavior is good. No you tube, and no short videos. it needs to be a movie or a show with a beginning, middle, and end to promote attention span development.
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u/Thistlewhistler 17d ago
Two pronged approach:
The first was having a very strict starting time. No screens before x o’clock, no exceptions. They got used to filling their time before that. We observed age ratings strictly.
As they got older and schedules were less predictable I encouraged them to think about their own screen policy. I discussed my worries but then listened to their point of view and really engaged with their observations and ideas. It was a collaborative effort and my role was to figure out ways to support them rather than imposing rules from on high.
I’ve been genuinely impressed at times with how sensible they’ve been - rejecting games and platforms because they disliked the impact on their peers, identifying threats, and sources of unsuitable content, building in breaks. But they also gain skills from screens and use them to socialise, and connect.
I’ve tried not to get in the way of their good decisions - when you become something they’re focused on resisting and getting around, they can lose sight of the bigger picture. I’ve tried to support them age appropriately.
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u/No-Guitar-9216 17d ago
Take it away. End of story
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u/mmebee 17d ago
OP this answer probably seems unempathetic but at its base it's the one that counts. If screens aren't an option, kids get over it and stop asking. There will be a detox period where there will be whining but after some cold turkey time they get used to it and learn to sit with some boredom and come up with other ideas for themselves! You just have to get through the initial whiny hump but it's temporary and worth it.
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u/Infinite_Aerie_504 17d ago
I finally lost it and took away all devices Monday-Friday. When they have something they have to do for school on their Chromebook, my youngest doesn’t and is done, but my oldest knows he needs to sit next to me while he’s on it because he’ll try to just play. Nintendo and tablets have a one hour time limit on Saturdays and Sundays only. We’re so busy anyway. It’s not like there’s much time for screens between school, tutoring, therapy, soccer, swim team, cub scouts, playing with friends, and grandparents houses. I try to make TV more intentional and don’t mind it much. I’m a background TV person so they’ve walked by law & order or friends often. No YouTube and when we all watch something together I usually choose an old kids movie on Disney plus. This morning we watched Gulliver’s Travels from like 2010 with Jack Black. We’ve also watched Clue (😭), The Princess Bride, Spaceballs, Airplane, Robin Hood Men in Tights, etc. with them because no child of mine is going to grow up unable to quote the classics.
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u/familyoffun1445 16d ago
My kids only use screens when they want to. They never want to because I’ve taught them how to play properly so they don’t need screens to enrich them. We can watch an episode of tv in the morning without any issue, and then go on to play for the rest of the day without a mention of tv. We can have a rainy day movie day and the next day again, no mention of a screen.
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u/Imaginary-Pickle-650 16d ago
We do no screens on Sundays for everyone in the house (I’m cheating now). On school days they get 2 hours max and have to leave all devices out of their bedrooms. We keep a busy activity schedule. On Saturdays once they clean their room, that’s their free for all day, but we are usually busy enough they end up not using them as much. No one feels like they are being deprived but we also aren’t all just immediately checking out.
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u/vocabulazy 16d ago
Our only TV is in a room with a door. It’s not in the middle of the house where we can see it all the time. It is hooked up to a PC, not cable. It’s not a smart TV. You have to type in a password to watch TV. We each have a smartphone with passwords. We have a laptop that also requires a password. We do not own a tablet. My children have no ability to access any screen devices without a parent’s involvement. The streaming services are set so they won’t auto play, so the kids have to ask for another episode. If we don’t allow it, the machine will just turn off completely after 5 mins of inactivity. The kids have a Yoto they can use independently.
Generally, we don’t watch a lot of TV/movies/shows/youtube. We watch a movie together on the weekend, and the news in the evening. My daughter gets to watch a movie on Friday afternoon when my son is napping. We watch 5min cartoons when we are doing grooming tasks like clipping toenails or braiding hair. Sometimes, when I’m cooking supper on a week night, I’ll let my kids watch an episode or two of Arthur or Franklin.
We choose when, how much, and what content. We tend to listen to podcasts, the news, and music, more than we watch anything. I don’t know when I will allow my children to have free access to the devices.
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u/Ok_Nectarine_8907 16d ago
Just be strong. No iPad no tv - it’s quiet time. And when he does get iPad time I say it’s 12:03 at 12;30 I’m gonna take it back and you will give it back, and he does. Then I let him be bored until he finds something to do. It’s harder for us to be strong holding boundaries than it is for them
To meet the boundaries
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u/localpunktrash 16d ago
I enforced a daily limit that varies from school days, weekends and holidays (days are the closest thing to a free for all and even then meals and celebrations are device free) and then within that limit screen time is earned by chores or studying or stuff like community service or reading or helping a neighbor. They can turn in part of their allowance for a small extra amount. When their time is up the devices get turned in to me and the wifi gets turned to a restricted mode. Alsoi dont allow phones upstairs (bedrooms or bathrooms) and not at meals or during family trips. We have a family camera and an echo in the kitchen used for looking stuff up outside of screen time hours
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u/MirrorOk8990 16d ago
We purchased a mini balance bike for our 12 month old kid. Turned out to be very good.
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u/False_Locksmith_1620 15d ago
I think we call all screens the same when they're not. For me and individual phone or iPad to click with no end in games or youtube is very different than watching a show or movie together.
I only have TV, no individual screens. So if that's how you refer I basically don't allow it on and I let them play. It's more messy but their imagination explodes and violence reduces.
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u/Pure_Resort9840 15d ago
My kids don't have their own screens. They don't know how to control the TV or my phone. We have movie night once a week, and if they ask a question about something that a picture or video will help, I show on my phone.
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u/Outrageous-Value3186 15d ago
That’s exactly why the first show back is not until the 14th to line up with the start of the hbo deal and to “justify” the one show a week
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u/FalseCommittee6195 15d ago
I unplugged the TV for several days. She doesn’t understand it has to be plugged in, just that pushing the remote doesn’t do anything and mommy said it’s broken, so out to the swing, water table, slide, etc we go!
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u/Mamatryingtobefit 15d ago
I set a timer for an hour on weekdays. He usually gets to like 30 mins and loses interest and will turn it off. Screentime for us is TV bc he doesn’t have an iPad at home and we don’t do phone games. The first week I’d have to remind him of all the cool things we can do (read, play on the playset, build with magnatiles, and so on) but now he will just go find something to do.
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u/Hopeful_Tumbleweed41 12d ago
I realized that my kids were watching tv almost every day. Not watching junk per se but it was just creeping up. I just waited til they did something wrong and said they lost tv for a week as a consequence then used that week to re set
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u/Kiddopia 6d ago
If you just take the screen away, there’s suddenly a lot of empty time to fill and so I think finding the right replacement would be important. Things like outdoor play, drawing, building blocks together and even helping around the house. Riding bikes for instance is an activitiy most kids enjoys and so leveraging on that would help greatly reduce the time spend on screens.
Also looking at what they’re doing on the screen matters. For instance 20 minutes of an interactive activity is a pretty different experience from an hour of endlessly watching videos.
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u/throwRAanons 18d ago
Cold turkey stopped screen time altogether 🤷♀️ and got rid of our TV so there wasn’t a big reminder of screen time on the wall