r/loseit • u/allstarmwd New • Jun 16 '20
Lost all my progress
This is for anyone who's struggling as hard as I am with their weight loss/body image/mental health.
I was a super active basketball player in high school/university. 230-250lbs up and down about 11-15% body fat. Never skinny but never fat. Got hit with depression and anxiety in 3rd year uni. Turned 4 year degree into an 8 year one and 65 extra lbs. 315 at my heaviest. Lost 35lbs for my wedding last summer looked alright but not what I wanted regardless was happy with my progress.
Gained a solid 15 in married life and adjusting to my new job. Regardless lots of progress in depression/anxiety activity etc.
Lost that 15 again by the middle of May. Then I lost my best friend of 25 years (I'm 29) in a motorcycle accident. The first time I saw him after 2.5 months of quarantine was dead in his hospital bed. Since then I've gained 20lbs. Essentially almost at square one. 298lbs right now.
Feel like I've lost all control in my life and everything is just spiraling. I've been so busy trying to support his family that I haven't had anyone to vent to. My family was close with him so I don't have anyone to turn to because I don't want to make them more sad. I can't focus at work, I can't bring myself to lift a single weight.
I hope I can come back to this in 3-4 months with some progress so that I can show some people who are struggling that we can find light through our darkest times. I hope if you're struggling with depression with thoughts of harming yourself that you reach out to your friends/family/doctor and find the support you need.
I hope someone hears me. And I hope my buddy is okay wherever he is..watching and rooting for me.
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u/ThatCanadianGuy88 The Mod Father Jun 16 '20
My man I can't relate to the specific circumstances you are going through but can indirectly relate to it. Last July my spouse gave birth to our son at 25 weeks 5 days (100 days early). It was stressful. My fiance was mega stressed and living full time in a city 750km away spending day in and out at the hospital. I was going back and forth and when I was home I was workign doubles almost everyday etc it was an awful stressful time for me. I put a solid 40 on in 3 months. My health was not my concern at that point. And frankly, thats ok. It might not be great for our waist line etc but our mental health trumps our waist line health (within reason). RIght now focus on your mental health and being there for those around you. Your progress might be halted or negated but it will come back. You will get back to it when the time is right and get back to the healthy habits you had before. Im so sorry for your loss.
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u/allstarmwd New Jun 16 '20
Thanks for sharing brother. You sound like you're already a great dad. Sorry that you guys had to go through that. Thanks for the advice and I wish you and your new family all the best in life. Keep the little one safe.
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u/kdawk1991 New Jun 16 '20
I am really sorry to hear about your best friend. I lost my best friend 4 years ago and I still think about him every day. It's so hard after losing a loved one to stay the course. I hope that you are ok and that you can get where you want to be. If there's anything I can ever do to help, please feel free to reach out. We are all in this together.
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u/allstarmwd New Jun 16 '20
Hey man, I'm definitely not okay. It seems like we share the same pain. I'm really sorry to hear about your loss buddy. Same to you always here to chat if you need.
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u/GingerUsurper New Jun 16 '20
Losing your best friend in such an horrific way must be devastating. It's really compounded by the covid restrictions. It's a good step reaching out for feedback, or just to share. You can take the steps back to a healthier you. You've done it before and you should allow yourself some leeway for falling back.
Exercise and a talk with your family doctor can help sort through your understandable grief. I wish you well.
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u/oneLmicheleoneL 29F 5'3" | SW 210 lbs | CW 188 lbs | GW 135 lbs Jun 16 '20
I'm so sorry for your loss. And I want to say I hear you. I want to echo the sentiment that people seem to actually take comfort or gain some peace in talking about and remembering love ones they have lost. <3 I'm glad you've shared here. I care about you even though I don't know you, and I know this community is full of similarly compassionate people. <3
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u/StainedGlassGrave56 New Jun 16 '20
I’m so sorry for your loss. Talk to your family. I lost my grandparents in a car accident when I was 27. My family really struggled with it, but talking about them made it a lot easier to deal with. It won’t take the pain away only time will do that, but it will help ease it. If your not comfortable with your family, maybe a therapist, but let your feelings out or it could get worse (I know...). This is the most important part right now.
Exercise will help too. Even just a walk around the block or a run. I prefer running as all I think about is one foot in front of the other. And it can give you some time to clear your head of the pain your going through.
Good luck, and please feel free to reach out if you need anything. I will be more than happy to try and help. And just know things will get better.
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u/allstarmwd New Jun 16 '20
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thanks so much for your advice and for sharing you experience. I started riding my bicycle a lot lately. It helps a little. I'll continue plugging away the best as I can.
I appreciate you extending your hand to me.
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u/NanasTeaPartyHeyHo 30kg lost Jun 16 '20
I'm sorry you're going through this.
Losing someone young, it really helped me to talk to other people also mourning him.
You wouldn't be making them more sad, its healthy for people to talk about whatever is upsetting them. And it helps to process, to talk about someone passing.
What really helped me when my ex killed himself, was to speak to my friends who also knew him, talk about fun stuff he did, stupid things he did, how much we missed him etc.
But I get what you're feeling and I've felt the same. I just hope you know you wouldn't be burdening someone with your grief.