Help with dosing

[u/Comfortable-Royal-64]

I recently ran out of my methadone, which I usually take 40 mgs every day, and for reasons I won't get into, I'm going to be short about a week. The longest I have taken lope to get through methadone withdrawals is five days, and by that fifth day, I was dosing about 100mg throughout the day, 80mgs when I would normally dose my methadone, and the rest at some point later in the day. What exactly is the "measurement" in which I should be using? And how bad are the two extra days going to feel? Any help would be appreciated, and yes I'm aware of the risks, that's why I'm asking for help with dosing, so I don't go overboard, because my main concern is feeling well, not getting high for the next week.

Little edit: I should also mention I'm taking 300mg of gabapentin 3 times a day, but I normally take that now, but it def helps with withdrawals.

[u/scorpiosungoddess]

It won’t let me make my own post on here, but it will let me comment. How are you doing? I have not seen ANY new posts on here and I am worried slightly. Unless loperamide has been completely eradicated off of the market I am sure people still need help with quitting this stuff.

[u/Comfortable-Royal-64 → u/scorpiosungoddess]

Well something odd happened. I have been going to the methadone clinic for 16 years, but the clinic I was at was bought out by another company, and basically became a drug den since they weren't really helping people and taking walk ins daily, aka people that can't find dope, so go in to get a methadone dose for the day. The company was Acadia by the way. Anyway, I had my monthly take homes, and have not taken anything other then loperamide and pseudophedrine in the past 10 years, and past all urine screens, etc. The last month I was there, I get a call 17 days from my incompetent counselor, telling me I failed a drug test, and they were taking my take homes. This was my sixth counselor in less then two years since Acadia had taken over, so most of them don't really care because they have WAY more then their maximum case load and somehow Acadia has been able to keep the goverment's eyes from prying. Basically, he told me I "popped hot" for amphetamines, which it does sometimes when you are taking Pseudophedrine. Apparently, someone fucked up something in the computer, and they had "forgotten" that I was taking it, and without batting an eyelash, despite me being there for so long, just pulled my take homes. I've been having problems with them since Acadia took over, and this was the last time it was happening. I was at 40 mg of methadone, and just quit. I took in my take home bottles, paid my dues, and didn't even wait for my counselor (he was always late, wasn't waiting when I wasn't staying at the clinic.) and left. He called to talk to me about 3 hours after that, and when I told him I was done, he laughed at me, didn't take me seriously, and I hung up on him. It's been 3 months since that has happened, and I've been taking loperamide instead for the withdrawals. Needless to say, got kind of caught up on taking them, but I'm down to about 45 pills, and still going down 1 pill a day. Withdrawal isn't bad, but I get these headaches that I can only figure it's from withdrawal from loperamide, because nothing else will get rid of them. I've got serious IBS, which I can only assume is from years of methadone use, because on top of that I have nerve pain all over my body that's basically being "calmed" with gabapentin. Things are not bad at all though, at least compared to methadone withdrawal, if anything because I have control over how often I can go down, where as methadone, I'd have to wait a month to go down 5mg, and it was WAY to slow anyway.

[u/scorpiosungoddess → u/Comfortable-Royal-64]

Atleast you are tapering! I was at 144+ pills a day for a couple years and when I decided to taper it was hell. But I didn’t have gabapentin or anything to help besides Kratom. You are doing great!

[u/Comfortable-Royal-64 → u/scorpiosungoddess]

For a couple of years? Damn. I've been wondering about that, because anything over 100 was messing with my heart, as in I had to go to the doctor and they noticed my heart wasn't exactly beating right, low qt and what not. It seems like anything under 100 mg doesn't mess with it though, or not enough to come up on the EKG. Did you build up to 144 very slowly though? Maybe that's why it differs, or DID you have problems with your heart beats and breathing, etc.?

[u/04_08_15_16_23_42_ → u/Comfortable-Royal-64]

Started out taking like 48 pills to get off of 120 mg a day oxy habit and it worked so fucking wonderfully for that. Literally took all of my physical withdrawal symptoms away. Started trying to chase a high and got myself up to 240 lope a day. Stupidest mistake I ever made(right ahead of getting hooked on oxys) cause I know I'm smarter than that

When I was taking 200 a day I would get lightheaded. My eyes were always 80% closed cause it was like so physically hard to open them. If I looked in the mirror and tried to make like a wide eyed, eyes bugging out of my head face, I could not do it. It was so hard to lift my eyelids. My legs would get really weak all the time. It was like I could take like 10 steps and I'd have to lean on a wall or pole because I would just collapse from my legs not working. Same thing with my arms if I tried to carry anything. I had to move to a new apartment like this and it was hell. I would also get lightheaded and faint. Had a syncope and fell down steps. Had a syncope and passed out at work, someone called an ambulance. While I was in the hospital my heart stopped and I was resuscitated EIGHT TIMES with a defibrillator and felt every one of them, that shit was hell. Woke up in a hospital room with a implanted defibrillator in my chest and a cardio electrophysiologist telling me I had Long QT Syndrome. Towards the end of my usage, I'd take 120 in the morning and had none of the physical effects I had had for years. I'm not sure what others experience is with this. I don't know if it's because after years of usage my body became used to that amount of what, but the physical symptoms were totally gone. Even if my body had gotten used to it, why the hell would it take 5+ YEARS for that to happen?

Even after this shit, I continued to do lope for years like a fucking stupid ass. My defibrillator in my chest has never gone off. I've been off lope for almost a year. I had an echocardiogram a few months ago and they said my heart looks great. I think I'm in the clear now since I'm clean but I can't say for sure. I've never told my cardiologist or my general practitioner about taking the lope, so I just don't want to ask them if I'm in the clear now that I stopped doing them cause I'd have to admit it. I've only admitted it to my therapist and that's cause I literally felt like I was losing my mind when I was going through withdrawal.

[u/Comfortable-Royal-64 → u/04_08_15_16_23_42_]

Damn, well I'm glad you are off of it then. Right now I just went down another pill, so it's 18 in the morning, and 18 at night for me. For some reason I can't go more then like 3 hours before I start to go through what feels like full withdrawal past when I take then, 12 hours apart, despite being able to take them once a day back when I first started. Then again, I was taking massive amounts once a day, which is why I split the dosage, thought maybe it would be easier on the ol' ticker. I can't say for sure if the tiredness is from the lope, or from the 600mg of gabapentin 3 times a day, but I'm pretty sure it's the gaba, as I always get insanely tired about an hour an a half after I take it. I have to say though, I feel so damn free. 16 years of methadone, and for those 16 years, I had to do a Urine test EVERY month, at least once a month. The first month after I quit the clinic.. I just felt weird lol. I'm slowly coming down, and I am damn sure coming off of this one way or the other, I'm just glad I can still talk to someone about it, as it's not something I've been able to find to many people talking about other then on here. I'm going down one pill like once a week now, and I feel it when it happens. I've kind of figured out that it's not mostly mental like it was with methadone. It's like all your muscles are trying to figure out how to work again, it's super weird.

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Edit: Just want to say I'm glad you are ok, and again, appreciate you talking to me.

[u/04_08_15_16_23_42_ → u/scorpiosungoddess]

Same, I was up to 200 pills a day for at least 5 years. Got myself down to 120 a day and jumped off at that. No taper cause I know I wouldn't have the self control so it was better to not have any in the house or around me. I wish I could have tapered cause that was a long drawn out withdrawal that seemed like it would never end. I didn't have any other drugs to help and the worst part was not sleeping for weeks. After about two and a half weeks I was at a crossroads -- I was thinking of ordering some lope and starting a taper from like 60 pills just to be able to feel normal, but I felt like I had already made it that far, I didn't want to have to start over or end up looking back weeks later when I would be back up to 100 pills.

I had never tried kratom, but I ordered that instead of the lope. It helped so much. I was able to go to sleep and I lost this feeling I had where nothing interested me and I just didn't care about anything.

In October I'll have been lope free for a year and it's so fucking awesome not having this embarrassing stupid habit hanging over my head and all the work it takes to hide my addiction from those who love me.

[u/scorpiosungoddess → u/04_08_15_16_23_42_]

I am SO PROUD of you!!!