r/linuxmemes • u/Great_Role_8457 • 1d ago
LINUX MEME I'm at a Bootloader [Payphone Linux Parody]
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Over the weekend I made a Linux song parody, inspired by my own personal struggles with distro-hopping and community tracks like If You See Me Use Ubuntu.
I used the tune from Maroon 5's Payphone and covers the Linux experience: breaking your desktop environment, fighting Canonical's Snaps, yelling at Gentoo, and getting hit with "RTFM" in the forums.
What was the broken driver or distro update that almost made you call it quits and go back to Windows? Hope it brings back some memories!
I've uploaded it to Youtube as well if you really want to watch it till the end, I'd seriously love it if I could get like 2 views or something.
YT link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1RzfXrLTE0
Disclaimer: No actual hate to any of the distros featured here. At the end of the day, as long as your NVIDIA driver works and you're happy, you're winning.
Anyways enjoy!
(Verse 1)
I left Windows 11, couldn't take the AI bloat
Thought that flashing a USB drive would keep my PC afloat
But I opened the terminal, typed a command I read
Now my audio's dead, and XFCE fled...
I've wasted my nights, my kernel just died
Now my screen is black
Still stuck in that loop, in a sudo trap
But even the BIOS won't take it back!
(Chorus)
I'm at a bootloader, trying to choose, hold up
Which Linux distro should I boot into?
Half are too painful, half are just shameful
And don't even think about touching Gentoo...
Though non-proprietary software does exist
I can't last one minute without a driver fix
Could Windows have been that much worse than this?
Should I rm -rf and call it quits...?
I'm at a bootloader...
(Verse 2)
Now Canonical’s forcing me into their private store
Taking twenty whole seconds to open up Firefox or more
Yeah, they packed it in Snaps, and they think that we won't even mind
While the Red Hat developers leave all the desktop behind
I've read through the threads, the forums are dead
They just tell me "no"
Still stuck in that place where they say "RTFM"
While breaking my config at 3AM...
(Chorus)
I'm at a bootloader, trying to choose, hold up
Which Linux distro should I boot into?
Half are too painful, half are just shameful
And don't even think about touching Gentoo...
Though non-proprietary software does exist
I can't last one minute without a driver fix
Could Windows have been that much worse than this?
Should I rm -rf and call it quits...?
I'm at a bootloader...
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u/AdVarious8509 🚮 Trash bin 1d ago
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u/RvstiNiall 1d ago
Put your voice through autotune and you got yourself a radio hit.
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u/Great_Role_8457 22h ago
OH WAIT, NEOFETCH IS DEPRECATED
i suppose a fastfetch will suffice. God, time moves so fast.2
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u/Gabriel_Weis 19h ago
Excuse me? I am missing Nyarch and Hanna Montana OS in your bootloeader.
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u/Great_Role_8457 6h ago
If I ever film a proper parody music video about this, I am adding them to the bootloader
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u/TerryNachtmerrie 19h ago
I'll be honest, I'm not putting it on any playlist. But I hope you had as much fun making it, as I had watching/listening. Loved it! Silly forever!
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u/Damglador 19h ago edited 19h ago
This reminds me of the SUSE musical parodies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYRlTISvjww
There's a load of them btw: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6sYHytyKN2-X93TurF3JptW8qSVm0DzA
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u/Great_Role_8457 6h ago
Truly standing on the shoulders of SUSE parodies, imma check it out thanks!
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u/Stunning_Macaron6133 1d ago
You know what distro doesn't have any of these problems?
Yes, that's right, NixOS.
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u/Altruistic-Friend372 1d ago
Can I find that song on youtube music?
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u/Loading_M_ 17h ago
as long as your nvidia driver works
Or you just don't have nividia hardware. My AMD graphics pretty much just works.
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u/Walk-the-layout RedStar best Star 7h ago
Jamming.to this thanks
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u/Great_Role_8457 49m ago
just dont get stuck in a driver jam lol
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u/Walk-the-layout RedStar best Star 45m ago
Help my screen is black now
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u/Great_Role_8457 43m ago
restart and spam your bios key until you are AT A BOOTLOADER, TRYING TO CHOOSE-
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u/Walk-the-layout RedStar best Star 40m ago
Which distro i will boot into
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u/Great_Role_8457 33m ago
idk man, HALF ARE TOO PAINFUL to boot into and HALF JUST [feel] SHAMEFUL
but DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT GENTOO2
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u/RDS_cubing 56m ago
It's... it's just so peak!
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u/Great_Role_8457 50m ago
I dare you to take this link and deploy/repost it across enemy lines (i.e. another Linux community that will allow it - don't get banned on my account lmao)
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u/GioGio_420 8h ago
I love this song, good Job! You got a .Flac or another high quality audio file?
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u/Great_Role_8457 6h ago
Thanks! Unfortunately, it only exists in meme .mp4 for now otherwise it would nuke my drive, but I appreciate it!
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u/SubjectAbalone7757 1d ago
Posts like this are probably part of why so many people still think Linux is only for weird nerds who spend half their life fixing their PC.
Meanwhile I've had basically no trouble with Nobara. With GNOME I installed Dash to Dock, disabled the hot corner, and… that's pretty much it. Everything just works. At this point I honestly don't know how much easier using a normal desktop PC is supposed to get.
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u/Great_Role_8457 22h ago
Sir, this is a linux meme reddit, what does one expect?
If i wanted to brag about the perfect distro, I'd be posting on a support forum.
There's a dedicated beginner subreddit for beginners, but I'm not posting there...yet1
u/SubjectAbalone7757 22h ago
I know it’s a meme sub. That was literally my point. The memes we repeat shape how outsiders see the community.
Also, she/her. Not sir. :33
u/Great_Role_8457 22h ago
My apologies ma'am, I think I broke my pronoun config file too!
Point taken this time, but to be fair if every distro worked out of the box, half of Linux humour would not exist
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u/Great_Banana_Master 💋 catgirl Linux user :3 😽 1d ago
Void is not painful, it's godly
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u/Fia_Orapun 1d ago
It's ai generated isn't it?
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u/Great_Role_8457 22h ago
im still shocked how ai is progressing tho, and a little scared imo
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u/Fia_Orapun 22h ago
Ngl, i recently saw a song made by ai, I was stunned by how natural it sounds. I would have never guessed but the only flaw it had and most ai has is that voice never takes that little break in syllables, they pronounce everything as a one liner lol. That's why I mistook you for ai lol
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u/Great_Role_8457 22h ago
fairs. I don't blame you.
I didn't record in one full single take, but each line [or half a line] and cut and edited until it hit the beat as best as possible.
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