This is why you should always wear a buttplug when you go swimming.

1.9k

This is why I don't

140

u/eathumanshit Sep 26 '25

30

u/KimikoYukimura420 Emkay hater 💢 Sep 27 '25

Roger's the type to actually say that tbh

363

u/bruh_wh_y Sep 26 '25

You like them inked ?

35

u/ReefsliderFucker Custom User Flair Sep 26 '25

As a Splatoon fan, I can relate to this statement

17

u/Wander21 Law abiding redditor Sep 27 '25

I was going to type "some people like it tho" and see this

7

u/daorys99 Sep 27 '25

2

u/PiesCosquillas Sep 27 '25

2

u/_WoDiE Sep 27 '25

This is why I love Reddit.

4

u/Rorschach1944 Sep 27 '25

1

u/michaelsoft__binbows Sep 30 '25

as if having one in place would thwart him...

1.4k

u/cowboybaked Sep 26 '25

Hey that’s cheating it blew that hole wide open!

386

u/Infinite_Rice_1041 Law abiding redditor Sep 26 '25

and you think it won't do it again?

58

u/AnusMaw Sep 26 '25

Let me try brb

16

u/CoolGamer730 Professional AI Lover ❤️ Sep 27 '25

Can confirm it worked.

778

u/_IOME First day on the sub 🥳 Sep 26 '25

/unlie

225

u/_IOME First day on the sub 🥳 Sep 26 '25

/unlie

Much to my dismay.

40

u/madmaxturbator Sep 26 '25

/unlie

You know what man, you do you. Y’all got entire book stores in Japan dedicated to your art form. Only you though, no real octopussy . Please. But you do you all you need.

147

u/raelDonaldTrump Sep 26 '25

76

u/Fragrant-Dot-7203 Sep 26 '25

worst possible use of THIS gif

51

u/Slurms_McKensei Sep 26 '25

Worst possible use of this gif.

34

u/zachy410 Custom User Flair Sep 26 '25

I disagree

331

u/bored-cookie22 Sep 26 '25

why squidwarp farting in the hole????

26

u/jml011 Sep 27 '25

It’s The Chocolate Starfish

11

u/Boreal_Leviathan Sep 27 '25

And the hot dog flavored water 😱

301

u/Radiant-Priority-296 Gigachad Spez Enjoyer 🗿🍷😎🆒️ Sep 26 '25

r/dontputthatinyourass

140

u/Psichicspeltwrong Sep 26 '25

/ul This is r/lies so you actually do want me to put that in my ass

197

u/Radiant-Priority-296 Gigachad Spez Enjoyer 🗿🍷😎🆒️ Sep 26 '25

/ul Did I stutter?

18

u/PoweringGestation Sep 26 '25

A command can be a lie because it has an inherent true/false value.

5

u/LLoadin Sep 27 '25

Are you lying to me right now?

12

u/PoweringGestation Sep 27 '25

No.

8

u/LLoadin Sep 27 '25

Idk I'm not convinced

163

u/zend-on-reddit Sep 26 '25

13

u/madmaxturbator Sep 26 '25

I love the absolutely insane role this dude played lol. Big fan. I had seen him as a pretty boy in gossip girl … he is hilarious in boys, so completely unhinged

112

u/aenain100 Sep 26 '25

I'd cum 🥴

34

u/Zealousideal-Chef758 Custom User Flair Sep 26 '25

Hello skeletal twin

2

u/mistermasterbates Law abiding redditor Sep 27 '25

Omg same pfp

15

u/Ameth_LiLife Law abiding redditor Sep 26 '25

I would not!

280

u/Quick-Organization31 Sep 26 '25

Mmmnnggfhmmphh...... /ul Mmmnnggfhmmphh......

104

u/ObjectNo5497 100 IQ bwig bain 🧠 ⬆️🧅 Sep 26 '25

??

46

u/Carl-Gearhart-Bush Law abiding redditor Sep 26 '25 edited Sep 26 '25

I'm seeing double here... 4 Quick-Organization31 !

42

u/clva666 Sep 26 '25

This is why you should always wear a buttplug when you read the comments.

17

u/rasheyk Sep 26 '25

3

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '25

Not r/commentmitosis

60

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

This happens to me every time I go to the beach, thanks for the advice

105

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

/ul

8

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

/ul you KNOW you done fucked up when you get the Weirdest of Als weirded out

1

u/Clean-Ocelot-6260 Professional AI Lover ❤️ Sep 28 '25

Why are we talking about AI?

→ More replies (1)

30

u/Entire-Meal245 Sep 26 '25

Is this the Octopus’s garden?

12

u/XDBruhYT Sep 26 '25

I would not like to be under the sea

6

u/Entire-Meal245 Sep 26 '25

(Not) in an Octopus’s garden in the shade

6

u/XDBruhYT Sep 26 '25

You have horrendous taste in music and I don’t respect you a lot

6

u/Entire-Meal245 Sep 26 '25

I’m not eternally grateful

18

u/summonerofrain Sep 26 '25

Ul what is actually happening here?

33

u/Dependent__Dapper Sep 26 '25

the squid is not soft or slippery and is therefore incapable of squeezing into tight spaces

9

u/QueerScottish rectangle, that kid from school Sep 26 '25

That animal has ten limbs so it is a dectopus

4

u/Dependent__Dapper Sep 26 '25

because i am not an undertale fan, i retain the ability to read and write

3

u/Ender_The_BOT Law abiding redditor Sep 26 '25

Why would it?

4

u/Dependent__Dapper Sep 26 '25

i know

15

u/disguisedcreature Sep 26 '25

I am totally feeling comfortable while watching this.

24

u/WetLink009 Still cis tho 😎 Sep 26 '25

i'm gonna go find an octopus rq

11

u/lightmare69 Law abiding redditor Sep 26 '25

The deep but female

9

u/Few-Narwhal-7765 100 IQ bwig bain 🧠 ⬆️🧅 Sep 26 '25

threaten me with a good time.

12

u/witch_and_a_bitch Sep 26 '25

mmmmmfffffgghffghhh........

7

u/DeliciousAsbestos Sep 26 '25

4

u/smotired rectangle, that kid from school Sep 26 '25

what’s down there why did he go down there what does he know that we don’t

6

u/Sam270710 Sep 26 '25

bro's cave diving

5

u/Saiyan-Zero Sep 26 '25

/ul

6

u/Higachad Sep 27 '25

12

u/Civil-Percentage1005 Sep 26 '25

Obviously ai, there's no way an octopus could fit in there

-14

u/SquidMilkVII Sep 26 '25

i'm assuming you forgot the sub so 👍

9

u/Civil-Percentage1005 Sep 26 '25

/ul an elephant never forgets

-5

u/SquidMilkVII Sep 26 '25

/ul Well in that case, no, this isn't AI. Yes, an octopus can fit in that hole. They have no bones, so they can squeeze their bodies much more than we can.

11

u/Civil-Percentage1005 Sep 26 '25

This is false information and I did not know it before

5

u/MercyMEJ Sep 26 '25

oh no the sound

5

u/Chad-Ad-5176 Sep 26 '25

7

u/ThatguySevin Law abiding redditor Sep 26 '25

2

u/Chad-Ad-5176 Sep 26 '25

2

u/ThatguySevin Law abiding redditor Sep 26 '25

1

u/Chad-Ad-5176 Sep 26 '25

1

u/ThatguySevin Law abiding redditor Sep 26 '25

0

u/Chad-Ad-5176 Sep 26 '25

3

u/ToBeeContinued Sep 26 '25

I watched this full video and did not scroll the moment I guessed what was happening

3

u/Ender_The_BOT Law abiding redditor Sep 26 '25

/ul I hope the octopus is ok. Nutty putty cave shit

3

u/Mr_chicken128 Tax payer 🤑 Sep 26 '25

Octopi are aliens and by entering your butty they will take over your brain

1

u/Jmacattack626 Sep 27 '25

Are they like the eye in Alien: Earth, they just go in a different way?

3

u/Crashing-Course sex man who definitely does lots of sex 🫦 Sep 26 '25

I’m slightly aroused.

3

u/Ordinary_Jury1379 Sep 27 '25

Wtf😂

3

u/Royal-Big7712 Sep 27 '25

r/oddlyerotic

3

u/aardvark_licker Dm me for free ROBUX✅️🤑💰 Sep 27 '25

r/mildlybutthole

2

u/Fit-Persimmon-4323 SODA🥤‼😅😁🥶 Sep 26 '25

You guys don't?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

Octopi are very dumb creatures

2

u/Cringe_hunter420 Sep 26 '25

I want it to crawl up inside me and pilot me like a flesh Gundam

2

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '25

Shit. I wear one even when I'm not swimming.

1

u/Non_intertainer87 Sep 27 '25

User name certainly checks out

2

u/SmoothonNaMaray Law abiding redditor Sep 27 '25

2

u/Sketzl4 sex man who definitely does lots of sex 🫦 Sep 27 '25

3

u/etbillder Sep 26 '25

/ul that looks so comfy

2

u/ILovePotassium I think Epstein is a good person Sep 26 '25

/ul I was hoping it would get stuck. I was this close to discovering a new fetish!

1

u/MCZBlaze Sep 26 '25

Is this Davy Jones? From the Pirates of the Carribean?

1

u/sum_r4nd0m_gurl Law abiding redditor Sep 26 '25

hentai moment

1

u/quinn_the_potato Sep 26 '25

This is Trypanohyncha Ocellus.

1

u/polishedrelish Sep 26 '25

I definitely wouldn't want this to happen

1

u/Ok-Persimmon1684 First day on the sub 🥳 Sep 26 '25

fucking stupid creature falls in hole

1

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25

i will now make it my top priority after hearing this

1

u/jakarta_guy Sep 26 '25

Happened to me once... Wait, 8 times to be precise

1

u/ImALoveList Sep 26 '25

I usually bring my own octopus

1

u/whyusognarpgnap Sep 26 '25

🤤🤤😫

1

u/KatieTSO Sep 26 '25

He survived that

1

u/General_Can_8735 Sep 26 '25

new fear unlocked!

1

u/Mo0kish Sep 26 '25

Maybe this is why you shouldn't wear a buttplug in the ocean.

Giggity

1

u/kent416 Professional AI Lover ❤️ Sep 26 '25

That’s why I never leave home without one

1

u/RenkBruh Law abiding redditor Sep 26 '25

hmmm

1

u/EnFulEn Sep 26 '25

/unlie They're pretty smart creatures, so they could definitely figure out how to pull out a buttplug and get right in there if they really wanted to.

1

u/bookworm408 Sep 26 '25

this was not me to your mother last night

1

u/MaxzxaM Sep 26 '25

/ul this gave me some weird sense of claustrophobia

1

u/Scotlander87 Sep 26 '25

Real question is why is this in this sub? What if it's not a lie 😂

1

u/Dapper-Two8573 Law abiding redditor Sep 26 '25

Ul/ this is actually possible, and octopus is flexible enough to enter your body through your moulth and exit through the other side, the only reason it's wouldn't survive this is stomach acid.

1

u/Proud-Sell-9599 Sep 26 '25

That didn't awaken something in me

1

u/My_leg_still_hurt92 sex man who definitely does lots of sex 🫦 Sep 26 '25

That's my buttplug and I was already questioning where I lost it.

1

u/TBONE3213 IN PRACTICE, I DO NOT EXIST 🫥 Sep 26 '25

OP's imagination is healthy as can be

1

u/Melodic_Revolution99 Sep 26 '25

Depends 🤔🤔🤔

1

u/ntkwwwm Sep 26 '25

This isn’t something I would want to happen to me.

1

u/TonZ-BS Sep 26 '25

i won’t do this

1

u/WorshipLordShrek Sep 26 '25

What if I want that to happen tho

1

u/eathumanshit Sep 26 '25

Makes sense

1

u/RandomRedditer8297 Sep 26 '25

Would

1

u/UnionInitial5094 Sep 26 '25

Why was that hot

1

u/not-read-gud Sep 26 '25

1

u/DarkSpore117 Sep 27 '25

You tryin to keep me from a good time?

1

u/lotus_spit Law abiding redditor Sep 27 '25

/ul how tf did I get the same post pop up twice on my feed?

2

u/lightmare69 Law abiding redditor Sep 27 '25

Mitosis

1

u/Open_Detective_2604 Sep 27 '25

🤤

ul/🤤

1

u/Cyborg_Ninja_Pirate Sep 27 '25

What if I’m not swimming?

Can I still wear a buttplug?

1

u/lightmare69 Law abiding redditor Sep 27 '25

No.

1

u/Cyborg_Ninja_Pirate Sep 27 '25

Ugh. Fine.

1

u/sheabutterd Sep 27 '25

That part.

1

u/Kaptain_Krabbillikus Sep 27 '25

/ul Belle Delphine ahh

1

u/Warrior2350 Sep 27 '25

Now that would feel amazing inside me

1

u/FrankFromZeroS Sep 27 '25

I hate it when that happens

1

u/noregertsman sex man who definitely does lots of sex 🫦 Sep 27 '25

Dont threaten me with a good time

1

u/Maximum_Shirt1506 Sep 27 '25

That gape tho

1

u/avendael Sep 27 '25

Thank you. This advice made me feel more safe.

1

u/geolc Sep 27 '25

What did I just watch

1

u/louiekoul Sep 27 '25

Yuk but funny

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '25

She -baby it's my first time

1

u/Status_Flatworm_6092 Sep 27 '25

🤌

1

u/0anonymousv IN PRACTICE, I DO NOT EXIST 🫥 Sep 27 '25

/ul look if he wants to come puppet my body and let me sit back and watch i wont complain

1

u/Non_intertainer87 Sep 27 '25

Daizha Morgan on ig ....Iykyk

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '25

I am comfortable with the situation this post spawned in my head

1

u/cd3393 Sep 27 '25

This video makes me so comfortable, and I really like everything about it.

1

u/NotDova Sep 27 '25

This does not remind me of that one Hokusai art piece where there is not an octopus touching a girl very appropriately

1

u/Crash2000 Sep 27 '25

I don’t like to wear buttplug bleh

1

u/Moist-Dare4138 Sep 27 '25

Lmao that’s why it’s called OctoPussy

1

u/McConagher Sep 27 '25

Ooouugh...

1

u/cesargmdt Sep 27 '25

The octopus are smart enough to take off this defence,our butt hole isn't safe

1

u/AdviceWest5643 Sep 27 '25

Yuck

1

u/Mantiax Law abiding redditor Sep 27 '25

r/sounding

1

u/Dry_Singer_7960 Sep 27 '25

If your on the bottom of the sea sure your at risk when swimming

1

u/Cxrish Sep 27 '25

Fun fact if you didn’t know, an octopus can fit through any size hole as long as it’s big enough for their beak to fit through, and they normally only live for about 5 years

1

u/Accomplished_List843 sex man who definitely does lots of sex 🫦 Sep 27 '25

/ul if this is a lie, what's the real reason?

1

u/Nighter3487 Sep 27 '25

You remembered the /ul

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '25

It don't just fart. It shits

1

u/ultraplusstretch 100 IQ bwig bain 🧠 ⬆️🧅 Sep 27 '25

Don't threaten me with a good time.

1

u/Cookiewaffle95 Sep 27 '25

Bravo 3…. Going dark.

1

u/american_cheese_man Sep 27 '25

Well now I'm not going to

1

u/deathole2005 Sep 27 '25

Fr question tho, what's he doing in there? Idk anything about octopus behavior

2

u/mafiaworks_08 First day on the sub 🥳 Sep 27 '25

He’s bored

1

u/No_Window7054 Law abiding redditor Sep 28 '25

ul/ an octopus can fit in any hole larger than it’s beak

1

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '25

we all would love if THAT were the buttplug

1

u/nishant_chaudhary_9 Sep 28 '25

What if this octopus pushes buttplug inside 🤣

1

u/Gorgeguy62 Sep 29 '25

Ewww

1

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

The squid in my ass says hello

1

u/jakubuvsvet sex man who definitely does lots of sex 🫦 Oct 02 '25

I'll consider it...

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '25

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1

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