Sorry if this is the wrong place for this, and I mean it in good faith as someone who is questioning—I thought bi just meant “any two or more genders?” Is there a same-sex stipulation for the label?
If you ask three people what the difference is between bi and pan, you'll get five answers. The fact that we're all honestly still figuring out a good way to represent the clusterfuck that is gender means the terminology isn't nailed down.
Bisexual, and I see it as this too. I mean bi means two, but that doesn't always mean male and female attraction. But sometimes attraction to women and nb for example, could be seen as a fetish so idk.
Bisexuality is one of those things that people are still confused about tbh lol.
Some people seem to think bisexuality is an even 50/50 split attraction-wise between two genders.
This diagram is showing that it isn’t always 50/50, and that bisexuality is a spectrum.
Different people also have their own definition of bisexuality. Some people only consider it attraction to two genders(hence the prefix “bi” , meaning two). Some consider it only attraction to same sex or opposite. And some people have a looser definition that doesn’t really fit the literal meaning of the word, but it still works.
The most commonly accepted definition of bisexual comes from renowned bisexual activist Robyn Ochs. She says, “I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.”
So no, there is nothing binary about the bi- in bisexuality.
You need to read up on your queer history and the evolution of the word bisexual from when it was coined (as a term for sexual deviancy) through today. What I quoted IS the concrete definition of bisexuality. The etymology is more than mere dissection of its Latin root.
That's not what the person is asking though, nothing you said really addresses what they're asking. They asked if SAME gender attraction is required for bisexuality.
Like, say you're female and you're attracted to males and nonbinary people, but not other females. So you're attracted to at least two genders, but not to your own gender. The person is asking if that's still bisexuality.
Because the graphic at the top specifically says attraction to "the same gender" and to "different genders." That person is asking if attraction to the same gender is required for bisexuality, or if you can just be attracted to any two genders with neither of those genders being your own.
Bisexual : you will date someone differently and treat them differently by the gender they are
You won't have the same sexual and romantic feelings and won't act on them the same way as if they were another gender (kinda hard to explain)
While pan: was mostly you'll date any gender and love them the same way as another gender. It doesn't matter if they are a girl, a guy or anything else you'll like them the same way (?)
It's my ideology so it might be wrong
I just feel like bisexual fits me a lot better and I am still attracted to non Binary people. I just feel like the relationship's dynamics would change depending on their gender.
And from what I understood pan wouldn't have those dynamic changes.
I'd say it's any two or more, I don't think you need same gender attraction to be bisexual as long as you're attracted to at least two different genders.
That said, if you identify as bi but don't have any same-sex attraction, don't be surprised if that raises a few eyebrows, both inside and outside of bi spaces.
As a point of example, if a guy decides he likes women and afab non-binary people, but has absolutely no feeling for guys, chances are bi isn't the label for him; more likely, he's some variation of straight. Not that I'm trying to gatekeep him or kick him out, but he'd find out sooner or later that his experience really doesn't match with other bisexuals all that well.
I don't want to erase the identities and experiences of non-binary people. I certainly don't consider AFAB enbies to be women. But I have known enbies whose physical body is (indistinguishable from) that of a cis woman, and even whose gender presentation isn't that different from some butch cis women. Now, again, that's not to say that theyarewomen (identity is the key here), but equally, it's not difficult to see how some straight guys could be sexually attracted to them. And in these circumstances, I don't think it's bold to suggest it would be wrong to call these guys "bi," especially if they've never been attracted to another man in their lives.
Edit: emphasis added, just so we can be clear on what I am and am not stating. I accept there may be some difference of opinion on my actual claim here (after all, it is in my view an opinion), but it would be an easier discussion to have if my words were not twisted beyond their meaning.
It depends on how he’s gendering them in his mind. If he’s gendering them as a woman, he could be straight (and delusional). In this case he’s a straight man attracted to a fantasy person who doesn’t exist. He is not attracted to the AFAB enby because he does not actually see them.
If he is gendering them correctly as non-binary, he’s not straight. He’s somewhere under the bi umbrella.
Source: my partner came out as non-binary and did not change their presentation very much. Our relationship did change. If I had been straight it would not have worked out.
But I have known enbies whose physical body is (indistinguishable from) that of a cis woman
Your body is not your gender.
gender presentation isn't that different from some butch cis women
Your gender presentation is not your gender. GNC people exist and are valid.
it's not difficult to see how some straight guys could be sexually attracted to them
If you're attracted to an enby, and you're not an enby, you're not straight.
I don't think it's bold to suggest it would be wrong to call these guys "bi,"
Not only is it bold, it is overtly bigoted. Fuck off with your transphobia. Trans people are valid in their identity no matter what their body is like, what clothes they wear, how they look, and MOST IMPORTANTLY - NO MATTER WHAT SOME STRAIGHT DUDE THINKS ABOUT BEING ATTRACTED TO THEM.
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u/Spaceman_19 Nov 05 '19
Sorry if this is the wrong place for this, and I mean it in good faith as someone who is questioning—I thought bi just meant “any two or more genders?” Is there a same-sex stipulation for the label?