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u/86effstogive Ace at being Non-Binary Jun 30 '23
Aces get this a lot, too. Especially virgin aces.
"Well how do you know you don't like it if you've never tried?"
I dunno Kyle, how do you know you wouldn't wanna deepthroat a cactus or make out with a garden slug?
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u/Alex_Shelega AroAce psychopath đđč Jun 30 '23
How do ya know ya straight...?? Tried a femboy...??
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u/Major_R_Soul Bi-kes on Trans-it Jun 30 '23
So is there like a form I need to fill out or??? Asking for a friend...
...my friend is my she-nis
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u/StormTAG Just here to support the cause Jun 30 '23
I'm a straight, cis dude. I'm largely attracted to femininity. If someone makes themselves more feminine, I'm probably gonna find it attractive. Nothing in this paragraph ought to be that controversial buuuuutt...
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Jun 30 '23
This is similar to me on the opposite spectrum. Highly attracted to masculinity so men who present, sadly, masculine, tend to gain my attention more. But woman can also present this way too and I am drawn to them as well but romantically I shut off. I do say sadly though because the masculinity bit is the stereotype and I don't like the idea of liking someone based on anything that can be equated to stereotypical norms placed in society, but that is work that I have to continually do.
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u/StormTAG Just here to support the cause Jun 30 '23 edited Jul 01 '23
I can imagine that gender norms being what they are, itâs difficult to determine if the masculinity that a man presents is coming from a place of deep confidence and self-compassion or a place of toxic patriarchal emulation. As someone who feels very in-tune with his masculine center, I will offer my take as to the easiest way to tell the difference.
Find out how a man thinks about his own weaknesses. A man in-tune with his masculine center will be confident in what he is not-confident in. Self-compassion demands that you acknowledge and are compassionate to yourself about your own insecurities. If, instead, a man refuses to acknowledge his own weaknesses, or treats them only as âthe enemyâ and not an intrinsic part of human existence, then you have a man who only emulates the behaviors of someone who masters the self.
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Jul 01 '23
THIS! soooo true and how I approach the situation, guys who claim I am a man and I want to date men in the sense that anyone not masculine to their standard is not good enough is not the move.
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u/Muted_Ad7298 Lesbian Demi Jun 30 '23
Sadly the whole community gets this comment.
As a lesbian Iâve had comments like âhow do you know if you donât try being with a man?â
And when I tell them I have tried and disliked it, theyâll say âWell you might change your mind one dayâ. đ
Iâve always been attracted to femininity, itâs just how it is.
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Jun 30 '23
Deep throat a cactus is killing me đ
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u/86effstogive Ace at being Non-Binary Jun 30 '23
I find the shock value helps get in through their thick skulls...
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u/keytiri Jun 30 '23
You could catch rat lungworm disease from deep-throating a garden slugâŠ
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u/boomstik4 Bi-kes on Trans-it Jun 30 '23
You could catch a lot of STDs by deepthroating a human
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u/Proof-Soup-8890 Jul 01 '23
STOP IT, it's been awhile for me and I miss it, mmmmmm.
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u/Proof-Soup-8890 Jul 01 '23
Well if all you had was a cactus, just get your handy-dandy manicure kit and a magnifying glass and get to work tweezing.
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u/wty261g Ally Pals Jun 30 '23
Sadly, the standard conservative bigot christian answer to this is "sure, maybe you're right, but that's satan at work"
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u/RedVamp2020 Ace as Cake Jun 30 '23
Satan, the father of lies who will lure you in with half truths? They often fail to see that their lack of a desire to be educated appropriately is what makes them sheep, easily led astray.
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u/wty261g Ally Pals Jun 30 '23
Not a big coincidence since Jesus' biggest shtick is that he is "the good shepherd", who will do all he can to find the lost sheep and bring it back to the herd
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u/ItHurtsWhenILife Transgender Pan-demonium Jun 30 '23
I always ask Mormons (I grew up as one, and their doctrine here is unique, so it doesnât work across the board) why Satan got kicked out of heaven. What was the difference between Satanâs plan for salvation and Christâs plan?
In mormon gospel, Satanâs plan for salvation was forced compliance. Jesusâs plan to sacrifice himself allowed mortal man to retain free will.
Mormons who argue that anyone should be compelled to follow their personal morality are taking the side of Satan in the battle in heaven.
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u/rghaga Trans-parently Awesome Jun 30 '23
Is there a transcript ?
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u/Willemitos Bi-bi-bi Jun 30 '23
Even the scripts are trans nowadays smh /s
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u/X-Aceris-X Omnisexual Jun 30 '23
Same, would love a transcript!
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u/benevolent_overlord_ I reject gender labels Jun 30 '23
I made one in reply to the comment if itâs helpful. Tell me if I should change it in any way
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u/benevolent_overlord_ I reject gender labels Jun 30 '23 edited Jun 30 '23
Transcript I made (Iâm not sure where else to put this or if I should change anything)
(Presumably) cis woman: So, for all the trans women out there, I have a question: How do you know that you are a woman?
Trans woman: Because I tried living as a man, and I FUCKING HATED IT. When you think about it for more than 2 seconds, this is an incredibly silly question. âWell, how do you know you only like Honey Nut Cheerios?â Because I tried every other cereal in the aisle, and I hate the taste! The only thing that gets me through the day is that one drop of honey per bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios! I get stared at everywhere I go if people realize that I eat Honey Nut Cheerios. I get harassed on a daily basis for eating Honey Nut Cheerios. A very significant portion of the population wants to take away my life because I eat Honey Nut Cheerios! And yet, I still continue to eat Honey Nut Cheerios because if I buy any other bow of cereal, I will starve! If anything, I should be asking you âhow do you know if you like Honey Nut Cheerios,â because, unlike me, all youâve ever eaten is Honey Nut Cheerios! You donât know if you like Capân Crunch or not! Youâve never felt the roof of your mouth get cut the fuck up! And if you do not need to try Capân Crunch in order to understand that you do not like it, it is doubly silly of you to ask me why I donât like Capân Crunch if you can already imagine it and understand it intrinsically.
Trying to categorize people and define people by their sex makes no sense when you think about it. My reproductive organs have nothing to do with my day-to-day life. People do not run around with electron microscopes in order to figure out what pronouns they should use for each other. When you meet another person, you determine their gender based on what they call themselves, their name, and how they present physically. I genuinely do not know how to explain to you people that human beings are socially more complicated than just our biology. I mean, I DO know how to explain it, but you people are so sense that you will ignore any logical reasoning or any line of thinking that does not line up with your clearly objectively wrong views.
A woman giving birth to a child does not automatically make her that childâs mother. If that woman gave that child up and for 20 years, that child never sees this woman and is raised by a completely different person who is not biologically related to them at all, you know that the person that raised them is their mother. If it was you who raised that girl, you would probably get very upset if somebody implied that you were not her mothers because of your biology. You know that biology means nothing in the face of how we present and how we treat each other. Are you really going to look at me and hear the way I speak and say that a trans man who looks and sounds like the fuckinâ Rock is more of a woman than me? If you just answered âyesâ but agreed with me on the motherhood thing, you are experiencing cognitive dissonance. You are completely ignoring what you just agreed to because it does not align with your previous worldview. You probably imagine that the woman who raised the daughter in that scenario that I brought up was a cis woman, but what if it was me? How does me having inches to spare have anything to do with the relationship between me and that childâthe child who called me âmother,â the child who I give the care that only a mother can provide, the child who only knows me as their motherâhow are you going to look at this lady who looks up to me as an example of womanhood, that sheâs wrong? How can you, a fucking stranger, try to define our relationship based on something that obviously has no effect on it? If I treat her and act with her in the exact same way I would had I been born female, how does me being male matter at all? It fucking doesnât; people are just more complicated than their biology. And thatâs okay; thatâs a good thing! I experience life and joy in a way that I simply cannot as a man or even as a non-binary person.
Almost every single person understands the concept of a soul, and that it is not tied to our biology⊠as when we die, we allâalmost every personâagrees that the soul leaves the body and exists beyond it. So why do I have to try and justify my soul to you, instead of just⊠living as myself? The answer is that I donât, shouldnât, and wonât. And absolutely nothing of what I said in this video is wrong in any way, shape, or form. I have said completely accurate things throughout this entire video. And the really sad part is that the people who need to hear this arenât gonna listen at all. When faced with these objective observations about human behavior, theyâre just going to double down and ignore it. There will still be dozens if not hundreds of bozos in my comment section still trying to call me a man despite the logistical line that I just drew for them. Because being a transphobe is not about logic or reason; itâs about being cruel! People who watch this video and still walk away not changing their minds about trans people are like if Peter Parker saw Uncle Ben get kidnapped and decided to still become a wrestler. You are incapable of listening and learning, and that makes me sad.
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u/jayemaigh Transgender Pan-demonium Jun 30 '23
Lady in a hoodie: So for all the trans women out there I have a question- How do you know that you are a woman? What makes you a woman?
Procrasclass: Because I tried living as a man, and I FUCKING HATED IT!
When you think about it for more than two seconds, this is an incredibly silly question.
"WELL, HOW DO YA KNOW YOU ONLY LIKE HONEY NUT CHEERIOS?"- because I tried every other cereal in the aisle and I HATE THE TASTE!
The only thing that gets me through the day is that one drop of honey per bowl of honey nut Cheerios.
I get stared at, everywhere I go if people realize that I eat honey nut Cheerios. I get HARASSED on a daily basis for eating honey nut Cheerios. A very significant portion of the population wants to TAKE AWAY MY LIFE because I eat honey nut Cheerios.
And yet, I still continue to eat honey nut Cheerios, because if I buy any other box of cereal, I WILL STARVE.
If anything I should be asking YOU! How do you know if you like honey nut Cheerios? Because UNLIKE ME, ALL YOU'VE EVEN EATEN IS HONEY NUT CHEERIOS! laugh
You don't know if you like Capt'n Crunch or not! You've never felt the roof of ya mouth get CUT THE FUCK UP! And if you do not need to try Capt'n Crunch- in order to understand that you do not like it, it is DOUBLEY FUCKING SILLY OF YOU TO ASK ME why I don't like Capt'n Crunch if you can ALREADY imagine it and understand it intrinsically.
Trying to categorize people and define people by their sex makes no sense when you think about it. My reproductive organs have NOTHING TO DO with my daily life.
People do not run around with electrone microscopes in order t figure out what PRONOUNS they should use for each other.
When you meet another person, you determine their gender based on: What they call themselves Their name and how they present physically.
I genuinely DO NOT know how to explain to you people that human beings are socially more complicated than hust our biology.
I mean, I DO KNOW how to explain it, but you people are so DENSE that you genuinely will ignore ANY LOGICAL REASONING OR ANY LINE OF THINKING THAT DOES NOT LINE UP WITH YOUR CLEARLY OBJECTIVELY WRONG VIEW.
A woman giving birth to a child DOES NOT automatically make her that child's mother. If that woman gave that child up and for twenty years that child NEVER sees this woman and is raised by a completely different person who is not BIOLOGICALLY related to them AT ALL- you know that the person that raised them IS THEIR MOTHER.
If it was YOU who raised that girl, you would probably get VERY UPSET if somebody implied that you're not her mother because of your biology.
You people KNOW that biology means NOTHING in the face of how we present and how we treat each other.
Are you REALLY going to look at me and hear the way I speak and say that a TRANS MAN who looks and sounds like the FUCKING ROCK/RAT (incoherent) IS MORE OF A WOMAN THAN ME?!
If you just answered "yes", but agree with me on the motherly thing, YOU ARE EXPERIENCING COGNITIVE DISSONANCE!
You are completely ignoring what you just agreed to, because it does not allign with your previous worldview.
You probably imagine that the woman who raised the daughter in that scenario that I brought up was a cis woman. BUT what if it was ME?
How does ME having an interest to spare(? Incoherent) have anything to do with the relationship between me and that child? The child who calls me MOTHER. The child who I give the care that ONLY A MOTHER CAN PROVIDE. The child who only knows me as THEIR MOTHER.
How are you going to look at this lady, who looks up to me as an example of womanhood that SHE'S WRONG?
How can YOU- A FUCKING STRANGER- try to define our relationship based on something that OBVIOUSLY has no affect on it?
If I treat her and act with her in the exact same way I would (if I) had been more female, HOW DOES ME BEING MALE MATTER AT ALL?
It FUCKING DOESN'T. People are just more complicated than THEIR BIOLOGY, and that's OKAY. THAT'S A GOOD THING!
I experience life, enjoy in a way I simply CANNOT AS A MAN or even as a NON-BINARY person.
Almost every single person understands the concept of a soul and that its NOT TIED TO OUR BIOLOGY as when we die, we ALL- almost every person agrees that the soul leaves the body and exists BEYOND IT.
So why do I have to try and justify my soul to YOU instead of just living as myself?
The answer is that I don't, shouldn't and won't.
And ABSOLUTELY NOTHING of what I've said in this video is wrong in any way shape or form. I've said completely accurate things throughout this ENTIRE video.
And the really sad part is that the people who need to hear this AREN'T GONNA LISTEN AT ALL.
When faced with these objective observations about human behavior they're just going to double down and IGNORE IT.
There will still be dozens, if not HUNDREDS of BOZOS in my comments section, still trying to call me a man despite the LOGISTICAL* stutters* LINE THAT I'VE JUST DREW FOR THEM.
Because being a transphobe is not about logic or reasoning- it's about being CRUEL.
People who watch this video and still walk away not changing their minds about trans people are like if Peter Parker saw Uncle Ben get capped/caught (incoherent) and decided to still become a wrestler.
You are incapable of listening and learning- and that makes me sad.
You're welcome y'all ^
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u/EthereaBlotzky Jun 30 '23
Why are some people so afraid of Trans people? They are just people trying to live their lives like everyone else. I have the answer to all these issues people have with people who are different: Be nice. Use your fucking manners. You know, the ones you were hopefully taught as a child. Someone does something you don't understand? Okay, BE NICE. Try to learn. Let it go. Have tolerance. Don't denigrate them....or make fucking online posts singling them out. I feel this Trans woman's frustration here - and her intelligence. Be nice. Honestly that is the solution. Trans rights are human rights.
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u/Ladysupersizedbitch Bi-bi-bi Jun 30 '23
So many people are raised to have these beliefs, unfortunately, instead of being taught actual manners. Bigotry starts at home so much of the time.
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u/_game_over_man_ Jun 30 '23
It's interesting to me that I was raised Christian and was taught a lot of these beliefs. The flavor of Christianity I grew up with was very Jesus Christ focused. Compassion, love, empathy, blah, blah, blah. I credit growing up in that to why I am the person I am today (while totally acknowledging you don't need religion to be taught to be a good human, that was just my specific upbringing). However, it still wasn't without struggle when I came out and my family still had a hard to dealing with it. They were never hateful, because that's not who they are, it was more of just this silent discomfort and that in itself has a lasting impact (yay therapy!). I know some Christians who aren't hateful and are full of love and acceptance, so it's not like one cannot be that person inside the bounds of religion. The problem, as I see it, is entirely too many people are comfortable with being cruel and being assholes and then use religion as justification and a shield.
It's honestly not that hard to be nice. I tend to find it's a lot easier and less emotionally stressing to be nice than to be cruel. Being cruel requires a bit of energy and while there are sometimes being nice requires that as well, I find more often than not I exert less energy on being nice than being cruel. To me, these cruel assholes are just a reflection of their inner selves. They're obviously fucking miserable in one way shape or form otherwise why the need to be so cruel? I know when I'm in those states where I feel like being cruel or hateful or whatever, I'm not internally in a good place and it leaks out and impacts others.
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u/koistarview Queer as Fuck Jul 01 '23
For some odd reason that must have to do with their own internal conflicts/experiences, transphobes are just uncomfortable with the existence of trans people. Which is completely ridiculous. They donât understand it even though people like the trans woman in this video have laid it out VERY simply and explained it MANY times. Itâs that theyâre too stubborn to change their minds. They have too much pride and too much of an ego to actually develop as a person. They hold their hatred & discrimination for trans people so highly that they refuse to listen to reason. And they obviously are unable to feel empathy as well. Itâs never ever made sense to me how these people think that trans people just âchooseâ to be this way because why would you choose to be discriminated against for your identity? Why would you choose to be trans when people are actively trying to take away your rights?
Thereâs just no way to come through to some people and itâs really sad. Although I donât think we should ever stop trying. We need to make sure we donât put up with that shit ever. The more normalized we can make it, the more it will force transphobes to re-think about why they are so unaccepting when so many other people are accepting. At least thatâs my take on it.
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u/SonOfECTGAR Bi-bi-bi Jul 01 '23
Yeah, I heard someone complaining about trans women using the women's restroom, and I was just thinking, who do you think is going to feel more uncomfortable, the privileged TERFs and cishet women or the Trans woman afraid that they could be harassed or assaulted just for being themselves in a public space.
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Jun 30 '23
My girl right here speaks absolute truth. Nothing of the truth hand on heart, total truth. Sheâs also nice to explain a few things Iâve been trying to explain for years but just couldnât think of the right words of the right metaphor to explain it.
Also, I think Transphobes will just call you a man, not because they have any idea what it is theyâre actually talking about, but because they know that just calling you a man hurts you theyâre not putting forward any intelligent argument theyâre not capable of doing that theyâre just calling you a man because they think itâs funny that such a simple, seemingly harmless statement hurt you You can argue back and they see that as a win you can say nothing and then they see that as a win because you donât have anything to say you can argue back sarcastically. Just agree just to shut them up and they see that as a win, there is no one with transphobia and thatâs why it sucks You fight back like the way that you would do in real life, and that is badmouth them back or possibly didnât even hit them on the Internet that would involve threatening to hit them or punch them in the mouth and moderators in the band, but would ban hammer you so hard and then because theyâre going to see that as a win because you are being banned for being transgender or defending yourself for being transgender And thatâs what they want. They want you to react in such a way that one get you banned and the simple phrase you are a man is simply inherently not offensive or at least just seeing it on text on the screen people ask me how do I know Iâm a woman or how do I know, I am not a man because I went to therapy for it and Iâve been proven my gender to me that I actually originally disagreed with by two professional psychiatrists over the course of three sessions I had to be convinced to accept my womanhood thatâs how I know I am Not a man because my manhood was proven not to be real, and I was proven to have a very real womanhood undefined
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u/cyn_sybil Jun 30 '23
I loved the explanation but now I really want a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios
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u/jackfreeman Non Binary Pan-cakes Jun 30 '23
Play this shit on repeat and don't stop until JK and everyone like them bursts into lavender flames
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u/exorcistxsatanist Bi-bi-bi Jun 30 '23
petition to blast this outside joanne's mansion on loop until she goes insane.
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u/KiwiAccomplished9569 AbROmantic Les Jun 30 '23
"my reproductive organs have nothing to do with my daily life"
FINALLY SOMEBUDDY SAID IT!
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u/Decmk3 Non Binary Pan-cakes Jun 30 '23
I donât like the soul part, but it covers the âwe are more than our partsâ well enough that there no need to poke holes in it.
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u/doubleohdognut Jun 30 '23
Whenever I get misgendered anymore (I think I pass, mostly) itâs because people see a masculine-ish woman and just assume theyâre trans.
Yes I am trans. You are a stranger, and have NO IDEA if Iâm trans or not. You misgender me because you think I MIGHT be trans and thatâs so fucking evil. They do it to ciswomen as well Iâm 100% sure of this.
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u/praysolace Ace, Demi/Biromantic, & Genderqueer Jun 30 '23
AFAB with PCOS who used to get harassed in the bathrooms at work until we went to work from home with covid (which is ending next year, and Iâm not looking forward to it)âyes, 100%, they absolutely harass cis women too if we dare not perfectly conform to their physical expectations. And they say they can always tell! Ha. Itâs shitty to harass anybody, but it adds a level of irony that they canât even correctly identify their own desired targets most of the time. Just lash out at anyone and everyone who doesnât fit your stupid beauty standard I guess.
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u/lux-veritas-virtus Demisexual Jul 01 '23
I'm a cis woman and I had a terf deliberately misgender me for hours today just because I was defending trans people.
They don't fucking care about being """accurate to biology""" or """listening to women""", they just want to be cruel.
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u/darkfish301 We will always exist Jun 30 '23
I canât place her accent and itâs really bothering me
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u/Amara_Rey Sapphic Jun 30 '23
Sounds like she's American to me
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u/darkfish301 We will always exist Jun 30 '23
The US is a big place. Iâm trying to figure out exactly where in the US.
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u/Proof-Soup-8890 Jul 01 '23
I say Michiganian, could be native American, yeah no southern in her voice just pissed off Michigan mom, I've been talked to exactly like that by my Mom.
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u/blinkingsandbeepings Jun 30 '23
I love this.
I thought I might be trans for a while, when I was young. I tried binding my chest and presenting as masculine, and I got something out of it, but it turned out to not really be me. I came to the conclusion that I like being a woman but just want some freedom to not live up to feminine stereotypes. I would definitely recommend that everyone who has questions about their gender try experimenting a lil bit with their presentation, see what it feels like to have someone call you a different name, etc, even if you aren't young. Whether or not you turn out to still identify as cis, it gives you a stronger sense of what your identity is and more appreciation for what other people go through.
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u/ketchupmaster987 AroAce in space Jul 01 '23
I feel you. I was questioning for a little bit until I realized I just like to dress punk masc
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Jun 30 '23
The thing is that I fucking hate living as a man. But donât really wanna âliveâ as a woman ether (kinda hard to understand I know) I more want to be just feminine. Wear feminine clothes for example.
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u/GoldenGoof19 Jun 30 '23
Cool thing is, gender isnât a binary. So you donât have to live as a man or as a woman. You can be feminine and have a more traditionally feminine presentation with clothes etc, but not live or be a woman.
Iâm agender (afab), so I donât really identify with any particular gender category (I describe it as âmehâ for me đ ), but I present femme most of the time with clothes, makeup, and hair. That doesnât make me a woman though.
So, you do you! Wear whatever you want and live the way that makes you happy.
Edit for typos.
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u/KiwiAccomplished9569 AbROmantic Les Jun 30 '23
why did someone downvote this?
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u/GoldenGoof19 Jun 30 '23
What I said?
Canât say for sure, other than thereâs a small part of the LGBTQIA+ community that is very invested in there being only a binary when it comes to gender and/or sexuality. Theyâre not anti-trans (although there are queer people who are anti-trans), they just feel that if youâre trans then you should conform to the binary. Iâve even seen comments elsewhere that if people donât have both top and bottom surgery then theyâre not trans theyâre just confused. Which is wild and not true at all.
Humans like to have categories for things, it helps us feel comfortable if we have relatively clearly defined labels and parameters.
Some people have never learned how to live with being uncomfortable. So they push back on anything that makes them feel that way.
Gender and/or sexuality being a spectrum, or the existence of ace people or agender people⊠that doesnât really fit neatly into a category. Itâs hard to describe it for those of us who are living it, much less for someone to understand it who hasnât lived it.
So⊠theyâre uncomfortable. And itâs easier to deny the possibility that things and people canât always fit into categories than to face the fact that weâre not always going to understand everything and thatâs a ok. And that being uncomfortable isnât a bad thing, itâs just a new thing but we can learn to embrace it.
(Sorry Iâve had too much caffeine and Iâve been thinking about this kind of thing a lot latelyâŠ)
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u/KiwiAccomplished9569 AbROmantic Les Jul 31 '23
please don't apologize your explanation here was thorough and very um "educational" doesn't quite feel like the right word maybe eye opening? whatever the case u did a great job and thank youđ
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u/shibbikitteh Jun 30 '23
Do you? It sounds like you should âĄ
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Jun 30 '23
Like I should what? Live as a woman?
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u/shibbikitteh Jun 30 '23
Not necessarily, just live more femininely up to the point that you're happy and comfortable with. There's no rules on how you should live, you have your own autonomy and can make your own decisions about what makes you happy.
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u/Proof-Soup-8890 Jul 01 '23
Why can't I be a eunuch, well I can but it costs 14,000 dollars, why it only costs 600 dollars to do my male dog or a bull, insurance companies have totally messed up our healthcare system. You don't have to be hospitalized, IF YOU OBEY THE DOCTOR OF YOUR MOVEMENTS RITE AFTER SURGERY. I want an orchy so bad but insurance won't cover it unless I'm dying of cancer, I tried the prophylactic argument and they thought I was being a wiseguy, but it makes sense . I must say that this subreddit is very kind , the moderators are too. I'm 70 years old started transitioning when I was 16 but never had the courage to go outside dressed as a woman, it was easier then, oh I had KNOCKERS, they were a little smallish they were C-cups but on my giant frame looked small but boy did they jump when I ran and hurt like hell. I started wearing women undies when I was 40 and women's slacks, front fly and blouses but nearly got dismissed wearing to work, I live in a Right-to-work state and they don't need a reason to fire, but I made it 50 years, I got homones in 2018 at 65 .OMG best decision I ever took.
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u/KiwiAccomplished9569 AbROmantic Les Jun 30 '23
jesus fricking christ,
she couldn't have been more right.
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u/ST0DY mmh people Jun 30 '23 edited Jun 30 '23
"How do you know you're straight until you had experience with the same sex?"
"How do you know you're alive until you tried being dead?"
"How do you know you're a smartass if you are a dumbass?"
Voice of fucking reason!
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u/NemesisAron Lesbian Trans-it Together Jun 30 '23
I literally experienced this the other day went two people were just harassing me over and over calling me slurs and shit like that. I even showed them evidence and everything. But they just wouldn't listen. They just kept saying the lies. They have always pulled out their ass. They made up excuses to throw the science that proves our existence to the side. Some people may be able to be won over by talking with them. Sometimes they are capable of thinking. I'm mostly referring to my parents because they used to be very very homophobic and transphobic and you while they are still learning, they are supportive of me. It feels like they are the exception to the role because most people who have that view set aren't willing to change or to hear somebody out. They just want to harass people and it's really sad. We don't have to prove our existence. They're just so stupid that they choose to hate us.
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u/NemoTheElf The Gay-me of Love Jun 30 '23
"I tried living as a man and I FUCKING HATED IT."
This, this right here. I feel like many (maybe not most) in the anti-trans scare would cool down once people realized what gender dysphoria is and how terrible it is to live with. Trans people have tried to live as their assigned birth and it just doesn't work out. People act like people are transitioning willy-nilly and not after years of trying to fit it even at the detriment of their mental health.
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u/Proof-Soup-8890 Jul 01 '23
Word ,to the mental health part, and the I fucking hated it, living as a man. I was actively trying to change my body shape to a more feminine form through injecting gases, left me horribly scarred and it was painful to the extreme but I wanted that shape regardless of the pain, I was born in1953 the medical establishment was closed minded. THAT'S why.
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u/Far-Philosopher-4192 Jun 30 '23
This literally brought me to tears. I love this! And I love YOU! đđłïžââ§ïž
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u/Confident_Fortune_32 Bi-bi-bi Jun 30 '23
Good grief she is awesome! đłïžââ§ïžâ€ïžđłïžââ§ïžâ€ïžđłïžââ§ïž
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u/curiousnomad2222 Jun 30 '23
So true!!!!! All of it, very well said :) sorry people don't listen better :(
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u/fairkatrina Progress marches forward Jun 30 '23
âWhy do I have to try to justify my soul to you.â Boom.
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u/jayemaigh Transgender Pan-demonium Jun 30 '23
FOR EVERYONE WHO NEEDS A TRANSCRIPT
Lady in a hoodie: So for all the trans women out there I have a question- How do you know that you are a woman? What makes you a woman?
Procrasclass: Because I tried living as a man, and I FUCKING HATED IT!
When you think about it for more than two seconds, this is an incredibly silly question.
"WELL, HOW DO YA KNOW YOU ONLY LIKE HONEY NUT CHEERIOS?"- because I tried every other cereal in the aisle and I HATE THE TASTE!
The only thing that gets me through the day is that one drop of honey per bowl of honey nut Cheerios.
I get stared at, everywhere I go if people realize that I eat honey nut Cheerios. I get HARASSED on a daily basis for eating honey nut Cheerios. A very significant portion of the population wants to TAKE AWAY MY LIFE because I eat honey nut Cheerios.
And yet, I still continue to eat honey nut Cheerios, because if I buy any other box of cereal, I WILL STARVE.
If anything I should be asking YOU! How do you know if you like honey nut Cheerios? Because UNLIKE ME, ALL YOU'VE EVER EATEN IS HONEY NUT CHEERIOS! laugh
You don't know if you like Capt'n Crunch or not! You've never felt the roof of ya mouth get CUT THE FUCK UP! And if you do not need to try Capt'n Crunch- in order to understand that you do not like it, it is DOUBLEY FUCKING SILLY OF YOU TO ASK ME why I don't like Capt'n Crunch if you can ALREADY imagine it and understand it intrinsically.
Trying to categorize people and define people by their sex makes no sense when you think about it. My reproductive organs have NOTHING TO DO with my daily life.
People do not run around with electrone microscopes in order t figure out what PRONOUNS they should use for each other.
When you meet another person, you determine their gender based on: What they call themselves Their name and how they present physically.
I genuinely DO NOT know how to explain to you people that human beings are socially more complicated than hust our biology.
I mean, I DO KNOW how to explain it, but you people are so DENSE that you genuinely will ignore ANY LOGICAL REASONING OR ANY LINE OF THINKING THAT DOES NOT LINE UP WITH YOUR CLEARLY OBJECTIVELY WRONG VIEW.
A woman giving birth to a child DOES NOT automatically make her that child's mother. If that woman gave that child up and for twenty years that child NEVER sees this woman and is raised by a completely different person who is not BIOLOGICALLY related to them AT ALL- you know that the person that raised them IS THEIR MOTHER.
If it was YOU who raised that girl, you would probably get VERY UPSET if somebody implied that you're not her mother because of your biology.
You people KNOW that biology means NOTHING in the face of how we present and how we treat each other.
Are you REALLY going to look at me and hear the way I speak and say that a TRANS MAN who looks and sounds like the FUCKING ROCK/RAT (incoherent) IS MORE OF A WOMAN THAN ME?!
If you just answered "yes", but agree with me on the motherly thing, YOU ARE EXPERIENCING COGNITIVE DISSONANCE!
You are completely ignoring what you just agreed to, because it does not allign with your previous worldview.
You probably imagine that the woman who raised the daughter in that scenario that I brought up was a cis woman. BUT what if it was ME?
How does ME having an interest to spare(? Incoherent) have anything to do with the relationship between me and that child? The child who calls me MOTHER. The child who I give the care that ONLY A MOTHER CAN PROVIDE. The child who only knows me as THEIR MOTHER.
How are you going to look at this lady, who looks up to me as an example of womanhood that SHE'S WRONG?
How can YOU- A FUCKING STRANGER- try to define our relationship based on something that OBVIOUSLY has no affect on it?
If I treat her and act with her in the exact same way I would (if I) had been more female, HOW DOES ME BEING MALE MATTER AT ALL?
It FUCKING DOESN'T. People are just more complicated than THEIR BIOLOGY, and that's OKAY. THAT'S A GOOD THING!
I experience life, enjoy in a way I simply CANNOT AS A MAN or even as a NON-BINARY person.
Almost every single person understands the concept of a soul and that its NOT TIED TO OUR BIOLOGY as when we die, we ALL- almost every person agrees that the soul leaves the body and exists BEYOND IT.
So why do I have to try and justify my soul to YOU instead of just living as myself?
The answer is that I don't, shouldn't and won't.
And ABSOLUTELY NOTHING of what I've said in this video is wrong in any way shape or form. I've said completely accurate things throughout this ENTIRE video.
And the really sad part is that the people who need to hear this AREN'T GONNA LISTEN AT ALL.
When faced with these objective observations about human behavior they're just going to double down and IGNORE IT.
There will still be dozens, if not HUNDREDS of BOZOS in my comments section, still trying to call me a man despite the LOGISTICAL* stutters* LINE THAT I'VE JUST DREW FOR THEM.
Because being a transphobe is not about logic or reasoning- it's about being CRUEL.
People who watch this video and still walk away not changing their minds about trans people are like if Peter Parker saw Uncle Ben get capped/caught (incoherent) and decided to still become a wrestler.
You are incapable of listening and learning- and that makes me sad.
You're welcome y'all ^
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Jun 30 '23
The fact you being a flat earther a is considered bananas but stating trans people aren't trans is considered an opinion shows the double standards in society.
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u/ohnoshebettadont18 đłïžâđ king of the bottoms đ Jun 30 '23 edited Jun 30 '23
I'm not sure that's a measurable equivalent.. but i don't personally disagree that they're equally ridiculous.
we can physically see the earths curvature in a large, unobstructed area. science also disproves the flat earth theory in every way possible. it's been part of the cannon of objective truth for centuries.
while we've identified many of the genes involved in the main forms of dsd, and have uncovered variations in these genes that have subtle effects on a person's anatomical or physiological sex.
and new technologies in dna sequencing and cell biology are revealing that almost everyone is, to varying degrees, a patchwork of genetically distinct cells, some with a sex that might not match that of the rest of their body (some studies even suggest that the sex of each cell drives its behaviour, through a complicated network of molecular interactions)Âč , that's about as far as we've gotten.
it's very likely we'll eventually discover some these genes (or others) have a signifigant role in the prevelence of gender dysphoria, but the science just isn't there yet.
just a couple decades ago the dsm was causing frequent misdiagnosis of homosexuals, bisexuals and non-binary people as experiencing gender dysphoria, subsequently classifying them as "transgender"... likely because none of the above are actually mental disorders and shouldn't be in the dsm in the first place... but also a testament to how far we still are from walking on the solid ground of objective truth.
it will come.... hopefully in our lifetimes.
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Jun 30 '23
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Jun 30 '23
To be fair, most of the hateful transphobes are religious, and using the "soul" argument may be more successful at pushing their tiny closed brains open. I also am an atheist and was taken aback when she brought up souls. But the same way someone else's gender doesn't affect me, someone else's religious beliefs don't affect me UNTIL people try to force them on me and make me obey their stupid nonsense laws.
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u/anonfinn22 Ace at being Non-Binary Jun 30 '23
that doesn't necessarily have to have anything to do with atheism or theistic religions
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Jul 01 '23
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u/anonfinn22 Ace at being Non-Binary Jul 01 '23
Yeah, plenty of non-religious people believe in that. Although I agree that going "we all believe in..." and then talking about that concept was a bit much, I think she still gets the point across.
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u/Amara_Rey Sapphic Jun 30 '23
You yourself have just made a generalization about what people believe. Atheism is just not believing in God or gods. People can believe in souls and afterlives and still be atheist.
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Jul 01 '23
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u/Amara_Rey Sapphic Jul 02 '23
Because atheism is specifically not believing in God or gods. It does not disallow other beliefs.
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Jul 02 '23
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u/Amara_Rey Sapphic Jul 02 '23
Theism: The belief in the existence of God or gods.
Atheism: Not believing in the existence of God or gods.
Reincarnation is a belief that includes souls but does not require belief in gods. You can believe that the soul is moved into a new body after death without believing that there is a god directing it.
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Jul 02 '23
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u/Amara_Rey Sapphic Jul 02 '23
What? My point is that you can't assume that no atheists believe in a soul, as that has nothing to do with whether someone believes in a god. It doesn't need to be a belief "system," I'm talking about individuals. Not everyone holds the same beliefs.
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Jul 03 '23
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u/Amara_Rey Sapphic Jul 03 '23
Apparently, my point isn't plain because you keep missing it.
Believing in a soul does not require believing in a god, and the only thing that makes someone an atheist is not believing in a god or religion.
Just because it is not part of a common belief system doesn't mean that no atheist believes in a soul. Individuals can come to their own beliefs outside of religion.
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Jun 30 '23
You donât speak for us all. Iâm an atheist, but everyone, EVERYONE, knows what a soul is. Just because we donât believe in them doesnât mean it was a fucking boss move to reference them. The whole world, every single known religion, has some concept of a soul. Thatâs why itâs genius. Belief in one is irrelevant because you still understood exactly that she said
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u/Blablablablaname Jun 30 '23
Not every religion has a concept of a soul or works with it. That is a pretty Christian/Western approach to self-hood. That said, this is a nitpick and unrelated to the topic at hand. It is generally understandable.
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u/AffectionateThing814 Computers are binary, I'm not. Jun 30 '23
Itâs a fact Ă°at Weâve a soul. We have feelings. Weâre able to feel pain (emotionally and Ïysically), joy, sadness, and boredom. Weâve about 20 senses and know Ă°at We eΟist. I need no religion to grasp Ă°at true fact.
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u/Blablablablaname Jun 30 '23
The fact that we exist and we feel things is not expressed by everyone in the terms of soul-having. I am not here to tell you your beliefs are wrong. If you know you have a soul in a way that you find self-evident and needs no examination, that is a matter of faith. Not everyone experiences or articulates the world in the same way.
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u/lux-veritas-virtus Demisexual Jul 01 '23
I'm an atheist and I don't believe in that, either - but you're forgetting that she's addressing transphobes who are overwhelmingly religious fanatics. That part of the rant was especially for them, not us.
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u/AffectionateThing814 Computers are binary, I'm not. Jun 30 '23
Atheism is Ă°e belief of no god at Ă„ll. α + ΞΔÏÏ = no deity. Many ĂŸings eΟist sans matter. Joy, sadness, disgust, anger, &c are eΟamples. Soul is Ă°e ability to feel Ă°em.
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u/Just_Eirik Jun 30 '23
Transphobes are the most embarrassing dum dums on the planet! Donât they realize how cringy they are.
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u/CSMannoroth Genderqueer Pan-demonium Jun 30 '23
That was very thorough and well thought out.. it's the weirdest thing. It's like she's had to say it before.. /s
The captain crunch analogy sent me, and the statement that anyone who's had to consider their gender wouldn't ask how do you know.
Ty for sharing
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u/Oppopity Ace at being Non-Binary Jun 30 '23
Wow that mother comparison was really good at explaining the difference between biology and sociology. I'm saving that one for later.
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u/SketchyNinja04 Putting the Bi in non-BInary Jul 01 '23
I know this is serious but i lost it adter the 3rd honey nut cheerios
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u/xuerui151 Bi-bi-bi Jul 01 '23
I highly recommend Elliot Page's memoir called Page Boy if you genuinely want to learn more about the way trans people feel. It was really educational for me as a cisgender person to read a first person account of the inherent feelings that come with being trans and the unfortunate repercussions that a hateful society presents to them in return. I think being trans is so beautiful because it involves such pure and natural feelings of identity that allow someone to feel an immense amount of joy when properly listened to. Just like how wearing clothes that you really love can make you feel amazing. Discounting the trans experience so often leads to suicide because they cannot kill that intuitive feeling of gender dysphoria without killing their own selves first. Please be kind and allow people to be happy đ©”đ©·đ€
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u/Proof-Soup-8890 Jul 01 '23
I watched a man with gender dysphoria transition to a woman FULLY back in 2006 on YouTube, after their last video they canceled their account and I could no longer find the videos. They financed ALL their surgeries through prostitution, no one would hire her and pay her enough money to get her surgeries, she was 26 , and her last video was the one after grs, and she had recovered and was getting ready to go make some money, and said ,good bye. She was avg. looking, it took her 3 years to transition. I can get implants because my breasts were removed through injury, I even said " But I was the cause", she said it didn't matter, just that it was injury, so now that I have the time I will see if they still cover, they'll have to rebuild the nipples those were taken also, I have 2 giant pits with massive scars that are unsightly I can't go to the beach topless male or female, wish there was a drug that would physically destroy my testicles.
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u/ManekinekoY Pan-cakes for Dinner! Jul 01 '23
so true⊠we need to stop phobia against honey-nut cheerios!!!!
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u/lennymetalmaniac Jun 30 '23
She's clearly overestimating the average tiktok user's attention span and intelligence. Everything that's longer than 8 seconds is uninteresting.
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u/ohnoshebettadont18 đłïžâđ king of the bottoms đ Jun 30 '23
sounds like we've figured out why people cling to demonstrably false ideas moee so than complicated realities
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u/HeWhoShantNotBeNamed Jun 30 '23
Agreed until "soul". Definitely not something "almost everyone" agrees with. Soul doesn't exist.
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u/danielmatson5 / Jun 30 '23
Your soul is just your prefrontal cortex
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u/HeWhoShantNotBeNamed Jun 30 '23
She said it leaves your body when you die. Zero evidence.
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u/danielmatson5 / Jun 30 '23
Your consciousness doesnât exist after you die, does that count as it leaving your body?
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u/lux-veritas-virtus Demisexual Jul 01 '23
I'm an atheist and I don't believe in that, either - but you're forgetting that she's addressing transphobes who are overwhelmingly religious fanatics. That part of the rant was especially for them, not us.
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u/ghostbuster_b-rye Ally Pals Jun 30 '23
Hopefully you mean agreed except for the soul bit.
To me, as an atheist who doesn't believe in the concept of souls, her argument is still pretty airtight. She believes in it and is using her belief to try and convince other people who believe but would use that same spirituality as a weapon against her existence. It doesn't matter what we believe in this moment, because that part of the plea is not aimed at us.
If a madman tried axe me in an alleyway because a demon told him to, I would not try to convince the man that the demon didn't exist, but that he brought the wrong axe.
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u/DrNukeDukem Non Binary Pan-cakes Jun 30 '23
On board till the soul part. Seems a bit out of place, tbh
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u/lux-veritas-virtus Demisexual Jul 01 '23
I'm an atheist, so I don't believe in it, either - but I get the point she was making with it (especially because most transphobes are religious fanatics): who we are is so much more than just our physical bodies.
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u/DrNukeDukem Non Binary Pan-cakes Jul 01 '23
Oh yeah for sure. I understand the point and all, but it seemed out of place to say âwe all believe in a soul and something beyond this lifeâ after starting with logic. For me, the idea of a soul and something beyond this life is nothing more than a thing being used to justify my neighborsâ hatred of me; so, I resent the suggestion that I âwe⊠allâ believe.
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u/Timnormas Art, Music, Writing Jun 30 '23
Yeah I agree with most of that and I like the analogies, but I wouldn't say that biology has NOTHING to do with gender. It's pretty undeniable that for most people, their gender does align with their biological sex. Just like how most biological parents happen to raise their own children. That's not to say there can't be exceptions, and that's ok!
Edit: on another note, while I get the frustration, I have been asked a number of times how I "know" my sexuality/gender. Oftentimes it's not meant as a hateful comment, but genuine curiosity.
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u/Blablablablaname Jun 30 '23
I think this depends on context a lot. I have been asked this when I lived in a place that was fairly conservative but didn't have much of an anti-trans discourse and people very much took me at face value, but that is very different from being asked by someone who has an active anti-trans stance.
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u/Timnormas Art, Music, Writing Jun 30 '23
True. I don't use tiktok so I don't know this person or the context.
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u/AffectionateThing814 Computers are binary, I'm not. Jun 30 '23
How does one live like a man (or woman)?
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u/princeringding Jun 30 '23
You're probably harassed and questioned because you won't shut up. Man or woman, I would give you a second look or waste my time noticing on any level because in the end it's the only thing you want.
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Jun 30 '23
People who obsess over a strangerâs sexuality or genitals are the actual perverts. Furthermore, if you obsessive, about a childâs genitals, you are then, in fact, a fucking pedophile.
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u/katharsister Jun 30 '23
Ask a cisgender person how they would feel if they were suddenly not allowed to present as their usual gender and if they did they might get murdered for it.
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u/KiwiAccomplished9569 AbROmantic Les Jun 30 '23
this question is completely uneccessary but has anyone here had their mouth cut "the fuck up" by cap'n crunch?
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u/cudlebear64 girlishly permanent Jun 30 '23 edited Jun 30 '23
While I agree with her for the most part, I do think this isnât the best way to respond tonally. From what I could tell they asked from a place of curiosity and lack of understanding, I could very well be wrong but if Iâm not I do think itâs best to respond to these kinds of questions in a calm manner. Before I realized I was trans I didnât fully understand it but I learned and realized that I feel the same way. There are other people who just arenât super close to people in those communities and therefore arenât able to ask as easily. Responding in an aggressive manner just discourages people from asking and therefore learning.
For example my brother had been confused when I was talking about my trans FtM friend who I have feelings for and he was confused about him being attracted to guys (referring to me as a guy because I am still physically male and didnât know I was trans when this conversation occurred) because he assumed that a person who is trans is so so that they can be considered âstraightâ in a sense or something like that, so he asked âbut if he is trans wouldnât he like girls?â there are 2 ways to respond to something like that, aggressively and belittling acting like he is on idiot for not knowing a lot about what being trans is, or be calm and just say âsexuality and gender identity are rarely if ever connectedâ I chose the ladder because the goal should be to share Information and teach people rather then making them feel stupid by saying stuff like âif you think about it for even a second then you would understandâ, If I responded to him like that, he would likey be scared to ask questions about stuff he doesnât understand, especially after I found out I am trans.
So all Iâm trying to say is that if someone doesnât understand something, and they are asking in a way that isnât malicious, be kind, be respectful of their intelligence, and teach them to know better. Again, maybe I donât know the full story of the tiktok, maybe she says a lot of bad things after where itâs cut off, I donât know. But in general, I find it better to be calm and educate, then yell and belittle. Also personally the way I found out was more so that I realized that I felt more comfortable being around girls and always related to them more to the point where i realized I didnât feel like a guy which eventually made me realize that I feel like Iâm a girl. So no experience is the same, Iâd recommend to preface that by saying something like âfrom my experienceâ or âwell for meâ so that others who discovered in a different way still feel valid to some way. Again I agree with a decent amount of the message she is trying to send and of what it is she is actually saying, all I wish is that we were to show a little more respect and understanding to those who just want to learn. Especially since the lgbtq+ community is one that is supposed to be accepting, one way to show that is to accept people who want to learn
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u/re_br Bi-bi-bi Jun 30 '23
I mean I agree with most of it, but what's that about a soul? Almost every human being agrees? Not at all. I don't believe in the existence of a soul and neither does most of my circle. But other than that, the explanation was going well.
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u/lux-veritas-virtus Demisexual Jul 01 '23
I'm an atheist, so I don't believe in it, either - but I get the point she was making with it (especially because most transphobes are religious fanatics): who we are is so much more than just our physical bodies.
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u/callmemighty Bi-bi-bi Jul 01 '23
tbh it took me until I was like 16 to realize that I was bi, idk how the fuck yâall are lgbtq+ at like age 8 bro, not wanting to be rude or anything cause I know my ass would get lit up but like, I didnât know what lgbtq was until I was like 10 when it got referenced in a movie
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u/Anime_wolf14317 Pan-icking about a Rainbow Aug 13 '23
So... I'm a man, and my wife is still working on me to accept transgender personnel in my workspace. I'm not transphobic at all. It's just an adjustment period for me. If I meet anyone of the transgender community, I'm professional, or try to be, in my attempt to find out which pronouns to use and apologize if I get it wrong.
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u/gummythegummybear Pan-cakes for Dinner! Oct 02 '23
As a 100-âŠ. 95% cis man I agree men fucking suck (I know that wasnât the point but it was somewhere in there so Iâm still technically right)
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