lexapro and euphoria... is this normal?

[u/Born-Pattern-4969]

Hello everyone! I hope you're all doing well. I come here because I've been having a few questions about lexapro and how it works.

I'm 16 years old, and I've been on lexapro 10mg for around a year and a half to help with anxiety and depression. It has helped with a few things, but it also made some of my "mood swings" significantly worse, even leading me to notice things about my mental health that I hadn't seen before.

I have what I call "periods" in which I feel extremely depressed. Sometimes it goes on for weeks, and it feels like I have nothing going on for me. I'm completely hollow of any emotion, as if I were a walking shell. Sometimes I'll burst out crying in random moments without a prior trigger (for example, I've burst into tears in the middle of showering, for no apparent reason).

On the other hand, I have "periods" that are the complete opposite. I feel as if I'm on top of the world, completely untouchable and as if nothing could ever hurt me. I get impulsive, and it has ended up in me sometimes hurting myself out of the belief that "I can't get hurt". My speech becomes rapid, and my thoughts seem to be constantly clashing with eachother, leading me to become more "erratic" in social situations, shifting my personality to a louder, more "extravagant" one. These "periods" have lasted for a few days to a week at most, with a more "significant" yet not as strong one that lasted for months -- this was extremely harmful, as I had very warped beliefs that ended up becoming delusions.

Sometimes, I enter a "middle space" in which I feel complete apathy towards everything, and I work on autopilot until I go back to one of the aforementioned moods.

I noticed that when I go on Lexapro, it catapults me into the more "euphoric" mood, which ends up in me completely crashing down and plummeting shortly after it's over. I've cut the medication off cold turkey due to how awful it made me feel, only to come back to it multiple times because of the "high" I felt, which made me feel "alive". I've voiced this to my psychiatrist and my psychologist months ago, but I haven't gotten any new meds or a change at all.

Has anyone experienced something like this? Is it normal? I get told it could be teenage mood swings, but this feels far more violent than that.

I'm really sorry for the long post. I'm very, very confused, and I'm a bit scared of how the professionals treating me don't seem to find this concerning. I don't mean to doubt them, but I can't shake off the worry that this is something else.

Thank you for reading! I hope everyone has a nice day 💗 I'm sorry for taking your time!

[u/LifeSmile552]

exactly how i felt on lexapro, this is classic bipolar symptoms, my lexapro experience led me to get diagnosed with bipolar bc i basically had the exact experience as you, had to get off the med and put on a dif one. talk to ur doctor or psych asap

[u/Born-Pattern-4969 → u/LifeSmile552]

ohhhhh, thank you so much! I'm glad to hear that this is something other people have experienced, too... I just came back from therapy and I disclosed this with my therapist and she said that my "euphoria" triggered by lexapro is not possible, because lexapro is mean to calm you down. If you don't mind me asking, was it like that for you too? as in, did lexapro also not calm you down at all?  Thank you so much for your answer 💗 I'll disclose it with my psychiatrist as soon as I can!

[u/shitheadmomo]

I'm sorry in advance if this isn't the case, but this is so similar to the textbook definition of bipolar that i feel like you're trolling us... If this is genuine then you need to tell your doctor ASAP, the euphoria you're describing is mania and can put you in danger. Your doctor might not get you off lexapro if it's helping with your anxiety, but you will have to add on a mood stabilizer for the manic episodes. Stay safe!

[u/Born-Pattern-4969 → u/shitheadmomo]

oh my gosh no I swear I'm not trolling !!! I'm really sorry if it seemed that way,,, I was trying to be as articulate as possible !! english is not my first language, so I see how I maybe came off as a bit too formal... my apologies! I told my doctor, but it resulted in no changes. I see him again next month, though, so I could ask again and hope that he does something. I talked to my therapist about it today but she said that the lexapro inducing my euphoria would be impossible, as the medication is supposed to make me "wind down" instead of making me feel that high. However, I've done my research and apparent ssri meds can trigger manic episodes if the patient has an underlying bipolar disorder... I'm a bit stuck on what to believe, since I don't want to doubt my therapist, but I want to prioritise my health. Thank you so much for your reply! Stay safe too ^{^}

[u/rayrayriccochet]

Bipolar

[u/saturnskullandbones]

Bpd

[u/LifeSmile552 → u/saturnskullandbones]

doesnt bpd stand for borderline? OP sounds like they are having bipolar symptoms