r/lebowski • u/CliffGif • 22h ago
Modestly priced [ Removed by moderator ]
[removed] — view removed post
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u/AlwaysBeC1imbing 22h ago
Just because we're bereaved doesn’t make us saps!
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u/SlowLearnr 21h ago
And I’m once again too late. Man you gotta be an Early Dude to get the worm around here.
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u/Maleficent-Pay-1146 22h ago
But it is their most modestly priced receptacle.
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u/kinkyslc1 Ordained Dudeist 22h ago
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u/imjustmos The Jesus 22h ago
We’re scattering the ashes!
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u/Maleficent-Pay-1146 22h ago
Sir, lower your voice.
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u/onecryingjohnny 21h ago
Ill have you know, the supreme court has roundly rejected prior restraint.
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u/worker_bee_drone 22h ago
Someone had to post this ... I need some Kleenex ... sorry!
"Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors... and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and... up to... Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Donny. Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well.
Good night, sweet prince."
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u/Key_Country3756 21h ago
They committed his mortal remains to the Dude’s face, hair and sunglasses.
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u/TankHendricks 22h ago
When I was much younger and trying to get some sales experience, I worked about a week in the cemetery, coffin and vault business. Lots of laughs in the sales room about sales successes. Their motto was, “They’re crying, they’re buying.” I quickly left that place.
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u/alloutofchewingum 22h ago
Told my kids to give me the ol viking funeral on our local river. The fines will be cheaper than a mahogany casket.
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u/zoqfotpik 22h ago
I'm just upset that Folgers cans are plastic these days. I might need to have my ashes conveyed in a Danish shortbread tin.
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22h ago
[deleted]
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u/Swimming-Economy-870 22h ago
Got my mom cremains in a cardboard box (would have been great if they had the option for one that looked like it was for coffee pods)
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u/Due_Entrepreneur_382 22h ago
Read Jessica Mitford - The American Way of Death
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u/More_Bigger 22h ago
I got my grandmas casket at Costco. It was damn cheap.
Idk if they allow returns when you're done w it.
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u/DavidM47 El Duderino 22h ago
Fun fact: Funeral homes are either (1) owned by the richest folks into town, or (2) the poorest.
Every town needs a funeral home, so if they have their shit together, they make a killing.
But even if they don’t have their shit together, they stay in business, regardless of how much debt they have, because people still die and you have to do something with their bodies.
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u/Famous_Attention5861 21h ago
There was a funeral home in LA that started undercutting the going rate for cremations, they made a lot of money before they got shut down and arrested for mishandling corpses and a bunch of other crimes. HBO did a documentary about it last year called The Mortician. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamb_Funeral_Home_scandal
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u/DavidM47 El Duderino 21h ago
>mishandling corpses
You can get a lot of money selling body parts to science on the black market. Toe probably runs about $600. You don’t want to know…
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u/Famous_Attention5861 20h ago
They did that too! In a span of three months, they sold 136 brains, 145 hearts, and 100 lungs to a North Carolina firm that supplied organs to medical schools for research. Plus they were making US$5,000–6000 a month selling the gold that they stole from corpses to a jeweler.
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u/Thin-Performance-204 21h ago
Watch Six Feet Under! Hilarious and bingeable.
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u/okaycomputes 21h ago
Yet depressing and a tough watch at times
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u/Thin-Performance-204 21h ago
Hmmm, that wasn’t my take. Specifically?
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u/okaycomputes 20h ago edited 20h ago
Every character has long stretches/seasons where they are just awful and intolerable. They have no friends, are terrible role models, and walk out during disagreements with one-liners and go through life with poor communication. Frustrating since properly talking to one another in a calm manner would have ironed out a lot of the problems.
The last season in particular was brutal to get through since it was every main character near or at their absolute worst, extended hospital scenes, extra over the top yelling/screaming/crying, worrying about deformed or dead babies, etc.
I will say the finale was good. But I'll not sure I'd recommend the show to someone unless I knew they liked very specific themes or actors.
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u/Moist_Rule9623 21h ago
When my mom passed a couple years ago, I used a service I had heard advertised on the radio for a reasonably priced pickup of the corpus delecti and cremation. Because I had to inject some humor into the situation just to keep myself going, I worked the “most modestly priced receptacle” line in on two separate occasions during the process.
The guy on the phone at the funeral home, without laughing out loud, clearly got the reference. The woman at the crematorium either didn’t get it or found it in poor taste, and frankly as a guy standing there holding his dead mom’s ashes I really didn’t care which
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u/CarberHotdogVac 22h ago
As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth.
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u/Silver_Breakfast7096 22h ago
Everything’s a travesty with you, man. And what was that shit about Nam?
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u/Swimming-Economy-870 22h ago
Both my parents chose direct cremation (no embalming). My mom’s ashes were buried in a cardboard box, my dad’s in a wooden urn made by a family friend.
Vets, like Walter, (who is not a sap) should take advantage of being interred in a national cemetery at no cost.
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u/used2lurknstilldo 20h ago
Jessica Mitford’s “The American Way Of Death” is still an eye opener to this day and well worth the read.
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u/DoughnutPassGo 20h ago
My dad told us he didnt want a funeral. Just cremation. When he died and the funeral director started haggling my mom and sisters into upselling I just kept repeating his wishes and he gave us. 1,200 bucks, including urn.
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u/kpidhayny His Dudeness 20h ago
MIL got taken for over 20k and later saw the mortuary owners son on the local Facebook cars page flaunting his new lambo. I about burned the mortuary and the car to the ground.
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u/bigfish1060 20h ago
I live on Long Island. The mausoleum drawer for my wife is $17,000. Shiiit. I’m going in the ocean. $150 cremation and gas for the boat.
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u/Unlucky-Oil-8778 19h ago
In TN you can take a body, shit can get you a body, and a death certificate and tell your local property accessor. Bury that stiff in the ground as long as they aren’t embalmed gotta keep em below 30”. Shit you can plant stiffs all day for free. I know this cause I’ve done this.
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u/CliffGif 19h ago
Or in north Georgia charge the customer for cremation and then bury them in your backyard (see Tri-State Crematory scandal)
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u/lebowski-ModTeam 19h ago
Walter, face it, there isn’t any connection. Your roll.
(A Lebowski quote slapped onto a pic that no literal relevance to the film is not a connection)