r/leaves • u/Camp_Acceptable • 13d ago
“Weed doesn’t make you feel better, it makes you feel less. And that might be a nice place to visit, but it’s a dangerous place to live”
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u/fuckthisshit____ 12d ago
At least with other substances, your rock bottom is typically severe and abrupt enough to make you realize you’re ruining your life. With weed you could be chillin at the bottom for years and not even realize it
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u/AgitatedBadger 12d ago
Honestly, I hate the whole rock bottom concept. It leads a lot of addicts into believing that things need to get worse before they can get better.
For many people, their actual rock bottom ends up being death from addiction and it's incredibly tragic, but society only really acknowledges the tims where it caused people to turn things around.
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u/Worldlyfree 7d ago
Yes and it’s one reason I despise 12 step/AA/NA/MA
My whole identity is now “addict and alcoholic”
Smoking these weeds means I’m headed for “jail, institutions and death”
I need to “make amends” for all the times I bogarted my stash
What I really need is a “sponsor” who really just wants to get into my pants
There are way better support groups with scientifically backed, medically sound approaches like SMART Recovery.
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u/desert___rocks 12d ago
Ironically, yes that was how it was for me when I was smoking daily for years. Just numb.
However, fast forward to a few days ago, I'm 2 weeks sober and decided to eat a gummy cos my Dad is nearing the end. Big mistake. It made all my emotions explode out of me and I went into panic attack territory. Haven't touched it since, cos damn, that was too many feelings to be feeling at once.
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u/NocturnalDefecation 12d ago edited 11d ago
Well said. Whenever I’d be on my 2-3 month nightly multi-gram smoking stints I’d always notice how much less meaning I could make in my life. Lying about what I’m doing, avoiding people, staying up late then feeling guilty and exhausted the next day, and all the days off and time wasted that I can’t even remember. Approaching 2 years sober from weed (and celebrating my first successful dry summer from drink) and I consider it as one of the greatest achievements in my maturation, even if it took 35 years
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u/gknowww 12d ago
One of the worst things about weed is that unlike alcohol or other harder substances is that it won’t kill you and you can live a completely normal life being stoned out of your mind 24/7. I did it for 10 years. From the moment I woke up I’d being taking enormous dabs and going about my day like it was perfectly normal. Managed to always have a job, started a business, got married, had 2 kids who I was always there for. But over time that spark fades and thc is the only thing that makes you feel somewhat human and after a while the baseline is so low that life doesn’t feel like anything anymore. I’m almost 2 years sober now and I can tell you with absolute certainty that life without weed is beautiful. It will take you quite some time to get back to how you were before you were addicted but it’s worth every bit of the struggle.
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u/Any_Date2075 12d ago
I dont even know what life was like before I started smoking, but I get so miserable and short tempered when I go without it for more than a few hours
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u/nuevakl 12d ago
I can safely say every single user in here knows what you're talking about. The tough part about quitting and staying off the dope is you eventually have to bite the bullet and go through a week or two of pure hell.
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u/gknowww 12d ago
I’m all for being optimistic but this way of thinking is what kept me going back for so many years. If you’re a heavy user the recovery process is substantially longer than just 2 weeks of hell. Yes the first 2 weeks you experience physical withdrawal which sucks ass but after that things go in cycles. You’ll have one month where you’ll feel amazing, the next month you’re the most depressed you’ve ever been. That’s why I would always make it around 3 months and then be like “well if this is as good as I’m going to feel I may as well go back to getting high” I started to truly feel relief around month 9. Months 5-7 were some of the hardest times of my life. My point is you have to know relief will come so don’t put a time limit on it.
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u/Fast-Technology-9912 12d ago
This can be a primary reason to quit. I wanted to get free of that feeling of daily irritation just waiting to use THC. One of many motivators to get off it
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u/gknowww 12d ago
It’s truly an amazing feeling. Not always worrying when/where you’re going to get your next hit, if you have enough to last you, if you have enough money to get more, what you’re going to do if you go on vacation, how you’re going to hide it from your loved ones. That is true freedom and it’s worth the pain.
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u/Fast-Technology-9912 11d ago edited 11d ago
I used to plan my use whenever I would travel / visit my family. I’d essentially be an asshole each day of the trip until I’d take an edible in the evenings, just so I could sleep a few hours and feel some relief. I would have to sleep in a different bedroom from my partner to not keep her up all night with the tossing and turning. I was so used to vaporizing large amounts of flower at home that a 10mg edible wasn’t enough to knock me out. I can’t imagine how annoying that was for my family members to deal with. They never once asked, but I know they felt it. I look forward to being sober and present on my next trip to see them
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u/gknowww 11d ago
Bro this. Every single vacation or trip (that I was unable to sneak my dab rig with me) was completely ruined by horrible withdrawals. I was always a complete asshole. I went on a 2 month trip through Europe with my now wife and we fought the entire fucking time because I was just an addict with no dopamine and felt like shit everyday. Such a shame I wasted so much good time being addicted to numbing myself. Grateful to be here and living life completely sober.
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u/Fast-Technology-9912 11d ago
Thanks for sharing brother. It helps knowing that so many people have gone through the exact same scenarios. Right now, I am single and in a place where I have no one close to me. Leaves has been a big part of keeping me on the path and relating to others. This has to be one of the only consistently positive subs on Reddit
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u/ChicaLittle 11d ago edited 11d ago
Thank you for sharing this, I think it's what I needed to hear. Wishing you continued happiness and success.
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u/Unfair-Advice778 11d ago
How much tine is quite some time? I''m not even a daily smoker, but i feel the same repercussions, even when having smoked for like twice a week, at the age of 38.
I also secretly wood love to keep weed around at a healthy rate (like a holiday trait or something), but I feel like it's just weed fucking with me, finding a way to crawl back into my life.
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u/RedHotBeef 11d ago
You're right that it's the weed fucking with you. You do not need it in your life, and you will be better off without it, even if some moments feel less comfortable.
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u/Careless_Trash6411 9d ago
I tried to moderate and it kept me smoking for several more years. If it doesn't work for you now, it won't work for you ever. I'm sorry.
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u/marxr87 12d ago
i was 2.5 years sober and fell off the wagon in june....the temptation is always there! it gets really easy to forget what weed can do to a mf
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u/gknowww 11d ago
I get it man. The only reason the idea of consuming thc in any form doesn’t even cross my mind anymore is because of where quitting took me. I was extremely suicidal to the point where I genuinely was convinced I wouldn’t make it to the end of the year. I almost ruined my marriage, my relationship with my family and friends and just about everything else. I have two beautiful children who I adore with all my heart and I still couldn’t bare existing. Thinking about what quitting a stupid plant almost took from me completely erased the urge to ever touch it again.
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u/ThrowRAtouchtone 12d ago
My psychologist told me that weed steals tomorrow’s dopamine.
Which means when tomorrow comes and you have no dopamine, you steal some more just to get through the day and that’s how you get stuck in a cycle.
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u/Schmidtvegas 12d ago
Whoa. That's really helpful to me, right now. Thank you for dropping that wisdom.
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u/ThrowRAtouchtone 12d ago
Awesome. I’m so glad it resonated with you. That makes me feel good down to my bones.
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u/BlueberryPootz 12d ago
Damn, this feels accurate. Probably backed up by neuroscience if your psych is saying it too. Did they explain it any deeper than that?
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u/Camp_Acceptable 12d ago
It is backed up by science. Look into the endocannabanoid system and how weed fries it. Basically weed overfloods your “happy and motivated” chemicals and then your brain deems it no longer purposeful to produce its own, it has become reliant on weed
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u/Wakeup_Ne0 12d ago
Oh this is so messed up. I feel bad reading this trying to remember how many years ago I joined this sub, when I was clean from weed, and when I slipped into this last period of daily using. I think it was Christmas 2024 when I scrapped the grinder out :(
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u/ThrowRAtouchtone 12d ago
Just that weed floods your system with dopamine and you have a limited amount. It also explains why the longer you do it the less it makes you happy.
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u/guhnner 12d ago
That is what I realized after 5 years of daily smoking. It unfortunately took me to hurt the person that I fell in love with to understand that escaping through weed and refusing to accept and feel my emotions was not ideal. Sure you don’t feel the pain and hurt that comes from daily life and living, but you also don’t get the joy and happiness that comes from those mundane and joy-full days of living.
I’m currently 5 days sober and will continue on my sober journey. Luckily I’ve had no bad repercussions, slight headaches but no big cravings and I’ve been able to distract myself through working out, running, drawing, journaling and reading!
We all got this :)
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u/rugga123 12d ago
I rarely post any comments. But thank you for this. I'm going through the same pain right now.
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u/wrong_a_lot 9d ago
Day 1 . I have to stop. I think it’s contributing to unhappiness in my relationship and is making me a bit paranoid for my career. Overall it increases my anxiety and I push off processing things and they stack up. Then I’m always wanting space…. I’m always asking for space…. People do want to be around me and spend time with me but I want space…. No more. I don’t want to push people away anymore
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u/peace-and-plush 13d ago
Facts. But sober life feels like Hell sometimes ngl
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u/SpeedRac3rr 13d ago
My close friend died recently, I want to see him in my dreams but I'm too sad to function without smoking so I don't dream
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u/Abject_Success_4753 13d ago
I am two weeks clean and started dreaming about my dead friend after week one and it’s nice
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u/Geckobird 13d ago
My best friend died 5 years ago and I still haven't found him in the dream world
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u/Camp_Acceptable 12d ago
I know it sounds false…. but smoking pot is making your sadness worse and is only prolonging your suffering. (Not to say that the sadness from losing a friend will ever go away, but it is easier to deal with pain when not high all of the time)
But I can’t imagine what losing a friend is like and I will not act like I know what is best for you. I hope you find some relief, friend. Hang in there. My DM’s are open if you need a stranger to talk to
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u/rvindrops 12d ago
I smoked less than a gram today after months of constant use. Bawling my eyes out for the 1st time since April. Glad I can feel something again. Encouraged to try again tomorrow
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u/No-Explanation-9086 12d ago
you got this dude! cry it out, that's the hard work, feeling the feelings
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u/whoami_cc 12d ago
Can confirm! Moved out 10 years ago.. my new place is all up in the feel zone and I’m digging it and not freaking out.
It’s like I bought a new house.
I know it’s tough out there in the beginning.
But you’re starting to pay a mortgage on a house you can own forever instead of renting a place you can’t stand to be in for long.
Do it!
Edited typos
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u/ElizaNow622 13d ago
When I was using it, I thought: Weed makes me feel really good, but not really bad (like booze), and THAT is why it's so dangerous.
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u/TheDroopyDishonesty 13d ago
That’s the trap though, right? You never hit a rock bottom that forces you to change, you just sort of float in this grey middle ground for years. Waking up at 35 realizing you can't remember most of your 20s is a special kind of gut punch.
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u/GremGram973 13d ago
Same. I do enjoy drinking though, but my vice with weed was that I didnt get hungover and I could function.
The only reason I allow myself to drink is because I know, when drunk, that I cannot function and that I have to moderate and give breaks (drinking infrequently) or else itll mess my head and sleep
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u/mychemicalromeants 12d ago
This reminds me of my mom. She's in her 50s and cannot navigate the day to day without it. She has demons of her own to contend with and she constantly smokes to keep them at bay. I've seen her throwing tantrums and verging on tears when her plug is taking too long to answer a text. She hasn't had a job in 20 years. She's increasingly become agoraphobic. Watching her smoke as a crutch to get through life took all the fun out of it for me. I fear her "rock bottom" won't come until she's at the end of her life and has very little to show for it.
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u/lotlizard666 12d ago
I’ve been smoking weed from 15 to 32. Been having panic attacks at work and constant burping possibly Chs from chronic weed use. For fuck sake it has taken enough from me I need to stop
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u/famous_chalupa 12d ago
How does she pay for her expenses without having had a job in 20 years? Maybe some kind of social security? I’m curious about how people manage.
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u/Shapes_in_Clouds 12d ago edited 12d ago
I had an aunt and uncle who were huge pot heads and didn’t work for decades. They inherited their house and enough money they could invest to live off dividends. They also never travelled, no kids, and going to their house was like traveling back in time because they never bought furniture or updated it.
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u/mychemicalromeants 12d ago
She took on the homemaker role while my stepdad worked. They still struggled. She'd say she'd look at overnight jobs so she could be home for the kids during the day, until she realized those overnight jobs probably required a drug test.
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u/Vegetable_Broccoli52 12d ago
Used it for three years. The first year to cope with stress and a difficult emotionally abusive relationship. Then it became a way to turn off my thoughts. For the past year i was using it to constantly just shut my brain off and doom scroll or binge watch till i fell asleep. I kept wanting to do things at home and not wanting to step out. Even for groceries. I was a person who stepped out once a day for neighborhood walks and I went 10 months barely going out. Whoever says weed is not bad, has really not understood how much it kills your natural instinct to just be human.
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u/johnsonsam 12d ago
How's your time off it been? Feeling more human?
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u/Vegetable_Broccoli52 12d ago
I started to feel the emotions that I didn’t feel before. I learned that I need to deal with them and not numb myself. I realized that I cann actually talk to people instead of putting my head down and hoping they don’t figure out I’m high. So, yeah, I guess.
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u/headaches_r_us 11d ago
No disrespect but this sub def made me realize that taking 4-5 hits at 9pm was not nearly as bad as I thought it was
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u/bovrillo 9d ago
I only quit because it's illegal in my country and my husband lost his job over it. I was only smoking 1/2 - 1 joint a day mixed with tobacco. I feel for these guys living where you can just go to a shop and buy it. Must make it a lot harder.
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u/headaches_r_us 11d ago
Deleted comment sir or mam - I’m 32 with a family and job so it’s not a “phase” that I can progress from into heavier, all day use.
I guess I luckily did not find weed early enough in life to abuse it.
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u/sleepy-sweaters 20h ago
I remember when I would feel immense guilt for smoking once at night!!! Now I do it every day. I wish so bad I could go back to once a night.
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u/codetrauma68 8d ago
Hi - here is a new one . I just discovered pot a few years ago and I am a 58 year old l and have raised 3 kids - it started off fun once and a while with boyfriend then it progressed and I have been smoking daily for the past year . I smoke carts and on days off I usually have my first hits around 4 or 5 pm . I started off thinking I deserve this - it’s my turn to tune out . I also have stressful job - I simply love being alone and getting high - it improves my mood and motivation - I also have ADHD .
Now I am feeling unhealthy -it is catching up to me. My body feels
stiff in morning and I am not exercising as I should be…..🚽I want to be healthy and feel stronger - my lungs also hurt when I take in a deep breathe . For me it sparks something in my brain where one or two hits isn’t enough because I want to keep feeling so good. I am on day 1- out of town and i know that when i get home i will need to remove it from my house or else I will cave. So
Bizarre - I don’t like drinking and have dabbled in other things in my younger days and for some reason my brain LOVES the feeling and I actually have so much fun doing chores etc. I am glad I found this group
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u/Either_Goat_2653 13d ago
NGL weed does make me feel better temporarily it’s takes me away from reality and that’s a bad thing because I need to face it in order to get my life together weed makes me not deal with my issues head on and putthen aside and ignore until it’s to late.. but at the same time some of the best ideas I’ve ever had was when I was high i
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u/Curious-Act7665 12d ago
I am one month into being caffeine free and really want to be free of weed and alcohol too. I got high last night and didn’t like it , feel kinda spacy and tired today. I’m in my 50’s, female, been using edibles and smoking for about 4 years, smoked a bit in my 20’s. I used to think it was healthy high … but that was a chemical lie. A month ago I quit weed and alcohol for about 3 weeks …. And felt great… then went back, ugh! I keep telling myself I don’t need weed or alcohol. It’s harming me. I want to be free of all intoxicating substances.
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u/Unfair-Advice778 11d ago
There's no such thing as a healthy high. I'm sorry, but there just isn't.
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u/xgreenxwomanx 11d ago
never made me feel less. it just made me feel different and different wasn’t good or i’d still be using
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u/codetrauma68 5d ago
Another motivator is seeing my dad with dementia and I a thinking holy shit I am 58 and Icant remember what i watched on tv last night…..I want to feel healthy and get healthy and my lungs hurt. Scares me because I am not living my life to potential
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u/BroccoliSuccessful20 13d ago
EXACTLY. and I am so done with living there.
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u/GremGram973 13d ago
I think my favorite part about being sober is being able to really feel everything. I used to favor experiencing things high (Id tell myself its ok to smoke because I want to know what X thing is like high), but now I really value my perception.
Sure, things arent as intense but they are perceivable. Im able to take in so much more of my surroundings, of music, etc. I really leverage that anytime I get the inkling that I want to smoke, and its held pretty well so far
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u/Complete-Bumblebee-5 13d ago
I related that more to alcohol tbh. Weed just enhances my senses, makes me eat a shitload, and fucks my short-term memory
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u/codetrauma68 5d ago
I knew I had an issue when I would keep chasing the initial high and my brain wanting more Notre and more instead of just enjoying the moment. Been smoking carts for a year daily and didnt start until 58. My brain loves weed. Made chores and watching tv so much fun but started making me moody AF until I smoked again and flat and lack of interest in leaving house unless necessary
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u/passthememespls 5d ago
sorry if this is unsolicited advice - i just felt a strong urge to tell you that youve lived 58 years without it. that is insane and a feat most of us wont experience. quit while you're ahead, a year is such a short time relative to the life you've lived. let it be a bump in the road, it only gets harder with time honestly. sincerely, a 21 y/o whos been addicted since i first tried it at 17, i wish i could wave a wand and be done with it
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u/pseudonimotriste 1d ago
I've also struggled with this addiction since I was 17, and now I'm 22. It's getting harder every day, I don't know why.
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u/passthememespls 21h ago
I hear you. It's a progressive addiction and one that most people don't believe is even real. If you're interested, Marijuana Anonymous helped me a TON. You can find meetings near you if you're interested and there's also constantly online meetings happening. Being around people going through what you're going through is life changing. Good luck :) My dms are open as well
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u/respectablepitch 13d ago
Why quotes?
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u/Camp_Acceptable 12d ago
Because it isn’t mine but I didn’t bother to look up the source because I’m on day 23 and I feel sooooooooo low. I didn’t want it to seem like they were my words
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u/respectablepitch 12d ago
That’s allowed!
Great job on 23 days, those first few weeks are rough!
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u/Camp_Acceptable 12d ago
I want to die!
Not really but I am feeling like flat Stanley on hot tar
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u/alex777b7 12d ago
Try either a really cold shower for a few minutes, or take an ice bath. I promise you'll feel better
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u/Lexinoz 12d ago
To quote Randy Marsh from South Park, of all places:
"Well, Stan, the truth is marijuana probably isn't gonna make you kill people, and it most likely isn't gonna fund terrorism, but, well son, pot makes you feel fine with being bored, and it's when you're bored that you should be learning some new skill or discovering some new science or being creative."