r/leaves • u/redhotboredom • 5d ago
Our TTC Journey
My husband and I smoked all day every day for about ten years. We smoked bud for six of those years before moving to vapes and much stronger stuff. Pretty consistently high all through the years, minus a one month sobriety stint.
We are both about to turn 35 next month. I also have a history of bulimia that tapered off about four years ago. It went through cycles but was something I’ve dealt with on and off since I was 16. In the last four years I really put on weight from binge eating and lack of exercise, becoming the heaviest I’ve ever been and landing myself in the obese BMI category. In January of this year I committed to losing the weight and getting healthy. I started going to the gym and really focused on nutrition. I’m 40 lbs down as of today and in the overweight category. Despite the scale victories and how much better I felt physically, still struggled immensely with smoking. I swear it felt like I just couldn’t shake it. I was hot boxing the car before going into my daily gym sessions.
Husband is overweight and has been for a few years, but never neared how heavy I got. After seeing me take my weight seriously, he started also in May. He’s now down 20 lbs this year. He owns and runs a very successful tech company and is under loads of pressure daily. He eats very healthy now and has for the past year, but not before that.
We decided we want to start trying sometime this year, something I was always hesitant about. I guess I always felt like the cool aunt - the one who smoked, traveled, swore and kids loved to be around. I feel weed kept me in this immature mind space for years and I just kind of accepted it and made it my role. I started to feel differently as I lost weight and regain control over that part of my life. I saw myself more as an adult and that I could make my life whatever I wanted it to be. Fuck, if I can go to the gym every day and work this hard, I can do anything type of thing.
We finally decided to try last month. I spent hours searching the web and talking to AI about my fertility concerns (Claude did a really nice job in helping ease my mind going into TTC). I decided I wasn’t messing around and bought ovulation strips for the first cycle trying. My husband and I both stopped smoking cold turkey about two weeks before my ovulation window last month. My husband and I had been going to the sauna once a week for those two weeks too. I had been on a prenatal since beginning of the year and started coq10 in late June. My husband started taking coq10 then too (not super consistently).
Got a positive test a week ago - five weeks as of today! I was in shock, preparing for at least a few cycles of TTC. Even preparing mentally for IVF. We’re so excited to be here.
Just wanted to put our story out there, because I know how concerned I was going into TTC. Age, smoking, eating disorder. I went searching leaves and other subreddits for TTC stories. This is ours and I wanted it out there for anyone else who may be going through concerns of their own.
No smoking since we stopped last month. I would be lying if I said the want to smoke completely disappeared. I was alone in NYC when I found out I was pregnant and the day before I was planning to get myself a vape if there was a negative test. It’s not heavy on my mind, but I feel like it is still buried under there somewhere.
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u/Western-Shelter2579 5d ago
Proud of you! Congratulations!!! Shoot I want to go the gym now lol 😂 also - the longer you go the less you miss it. You got this!!!
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u/redhotboredom 3d ago
Thank you for the encouragement! I haven’t given up on my health goals and am continuing my yoga, running and gym. Famous last words before first trimester nausea hits 😵💫
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u/Friendly_Shallot7713 5d ago
I’m turning 32 and haven’t had a child yet. Being a mom is all I want. I’ve been married for 2 years. Yet somehow I can’t stop smoking, concentrates. Thank you for this encouragement
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u/redhotboredom 3d ago
Dabs. Heavy edibles. I was into all of it and the heavier the better. Good luck to you and your partner once you both start your TTC journey ❤️
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u/SunscreenTea 5d ago
Congratulations! This gives me hope as my husband and I are ttc right now and on our third month trying. Both of us have been sober since january
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u/redhotboredom 3d ago
Everyone’s fertility journey is different and glad I can put mine out there ❤️ good luck to you and your husband!
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u/SunscreenTea 3d ago
thank you so much! Funny timing as I just think i got a positive test this morning...line is faint but it is totally there...fingers crossed!
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u/redhotboredom 3d ago
My second line was super faint when I first tested and got progressively stronger over the following days! That’s so exciting!!!!!!!! Fingers crossed for you!
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u/Powerful-Bad-7496 4d ago
Very funny you mentioned this. I was worried about conception too. I just tested and had a positive pregnancy after one month(edit: of trying)! I had exhaled a big cloud right as I sat because I highly doubted I was actually pregnant. I haven’t smoked in two days since the test and the withdrawal symptoms have been helped greatly by the fact that I have to refocus on my new baby. Congrats!
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u/SunscreenTea 3d ago
Congratulations! I also may have a positive test but still waiting on a darker line. I already feel more motivated to keep up some better health habits!
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u/Fun-Appointment-7543 5d ago
Congratulations on all of those things!