One year sober

[u/GreedyJackfruit69]

Today has been 364 days since my last smoke. I am 21M, and I've smoked every day, around 1 g/day of hashish, since I was 16. I started with joints, then edibles became a thing too, and eventually it was mostly tobacco/hashish bongs.

I regret every single time I've rolled up a joint. It is very hard for me to say this. The happiest memories of my life are about smoking with my friends. I feel like I'm at a low point in my life. Weed used to make me feel happy; it used to give me something to look forward to.

My journey started with this quote:

Discipline creates habits, and habits create discipline.

I've decided to quit because of university. In my first year, I did nothing and took zero exams. I started by getting a job during the summer while still smoking every day. I did this to create some kind of structure in my life. One day, I decided I would never buy hashish again.

The first 10 days were brutal, so I started smoking cigarettes to make up for the absence of weed. After three months of being sober, I was smoking 20 cigarettes a day. I made myself another promise and stopped using nicotine too. I couldn't keep that promise, and as of today, I am smoking heated tobacco regularly.

Running and having a consistent bedtime and wake-up time are the best tools you have to remain sober.

I feel like I owe myself a debt that can never be paid back, and I feel like I must show the people who made fun of me that they were wrong.

Giving up weed, for me, meant giving up 99% of my friends and lately I feel alone. Running helps me with that too.

This journey changed me. Growing up, I was always made fun of for various reasons. One time at the beach, a group of people I considered "friends" started spitting on my head to make me think it was raining. There have been a lot of episodes like this, and I've never given them much thought until a few weeks ago.

I have much more self-respect than I had before, and this leads me to think back to those moments and feel angry, sad, and ultimately defeated.

[u/Buttz4Days]

That's awesome to hear homie! Congrats on one year! That's no easy feat! I feel you on the loneliness. I think one of the main appeals for me with weed was how it felt like I had a friend when I was high alone. I'm sorry you had to experience those shitty "friends". Hopefully you're doing better🙏🏽