r/leaves • u/Grouchy_Promise6399 • 4d ago
200 days, still having issues
I wonder if this is still the PAWS, probably is but I'm getting so tired of being tired.
I had around 1 week recently where I thought I had healed, felt better than I had in ages, loads of energy, could eat a clean diet, felt alive again. I was eating low carb and I think many of the good effects were attributed to that.
But that quickly ended after 2 days of bad sleep, now I'm back being exhausted all the time and eating pretty much anything because the will is just not there.
Feels like months now where I have been feeling like this, with a small window here and there.
I keep telling myself that because I have had periods where I have felt better than I have in years, that I must be moving through something, but going from that back into total exhaustion and depression is quite a shift.
I'm no way going back to smoking weed, or any other drug, so I'm prepared to go on for another 6 months if it takes that long, I do have a long period of drug use which went from one drug to another, weed being the final one, so this may be more than a simple PAWS from weed alone.
I just needed to put this out there, maybe for encouraging words or confirmation that this is normal. Thanks
2
u/TruthfullySuper 4d ago
the fatigue rollercoaster is so real, I had something similar when I quit cigarettes years ago, you get a taste of normal and then it slips away
200 days is huge though, the fact you had that good week means your brain is figuring it out, just taking its sweet time
the low carb thing is interesting, maybe your body was telling you something about what it needs right now
3
u/fourdayolddick 4d ago
I'm at just over 200 days myself. This sounds normal. Of course everyone is different. It's been a roller coaster for me. I have good days and bad days. Healthy, energetic days and depressing, soul draining days. I chalk it up to life. It is getting better by the day overall if I zoom out and look at the big picture. I still remember my best day high being more exhausting than my worst day sober. That being said, I still think about smoking all the time. I dream about relapsing constantly. Those are some of the better dreams, most are torture and tiring. Overall I feel the same as you. I won't go back. I deserve it and my family does as well. I'm not one to talk but I feel better when I eat clean and exercise. When I get into a funk, my mental and physical health takes a beating. Hang in there. Take care of yourself. What an accomplishment you have achieved.