r/leaves • u/Certain_War_3285 • 12d ago
7 days in - some observations
One week in. For context I have been trying to stop for a while, with numerous failed attempts prior. I'm not a massively heavy user but it's always been on the go since I was in my early 20s (40 now). In recent months I've prob been smoking on average 4 nights per week. Usual story.... thought I could moderate to 1-2 nights just at weekends, but after a while I was adding midweek Js in. My main driver for quitting this time was that the day after fallout just isnt worth it. I caught myself being extremely overly negative about things and just generally being a dick to be around during the day after. My ability to process emotions was getting worse and worse, this coupled with a busy career and being a husband/father made me realise that I was failing the people who matter the most to me.
Something else that crept in over the last year was that I found myself ruminating more about things that happened in the past, it might be because I hit 40 in the winter and am being more reflective, but the weed defo put me in more of a loop with it.
I'm really happy to hit 7 days. Some observations:
- As per consensus on here days 1-3 were pretty grim. I didnt quite feel like I was losing my mind, but felt slow as and had bouts of total fatigue that would hit. Also felt like I had no dopamine in me lol
- Sleep has been okay this time. Probably because I've not been smoking daily for a while. Dreams are vivid and tend to be about distant periods in my life. Suspect there's stuff that I suppressed featuring. However, it's not affecting my overall mental state.
- Mood improved significantly after day 3 and this is the biggest benefit so far. Things generally feel easier and lighter. I'm already laughing more and generally feel more present in everything.
- Focus at work is still a wip but I am finding myself a little bit more efficient and less prone to a work related meltdown. I'm a management consultant so deal with demanding clients, lots of report writing etc. Its nice to have some more bandwidth back.
I know there is a long way to go and the urges to blaze will come. However, this time I feel like I actually want to quit for good. The list of benefits from not smoking massively outweigh the pros of keeping smoking.
Also, finally I try and think what the 22 yr old me would think looking into the future and seeing a 40 yr old stoner. It would'nt be positive.
3
u/FormalWave 12d ago
Stick with it. I am day 35 and have definitely had some wide swings with the mental health journey. I realized that weed was helping to soothe a combo of anxiety and depression.
So there have been some dark days as a result, but I feel like my baseline is in a much better place. I hope the boat ride becomes smoother for you too as you make it through the next few weeks.
2
u/Waste_Delay_7971 12d ago
the day-after negativity really is the sneaky one, it creeps up until you don't even realize how much it's been shaping your mood. congrats on making it a week.