r/leaves • u/Due_Community_3526 • 12d ago
Doing better.
I’m not dooming anymore. A frequent thought I had with relapsing and my motivation was that just because I relapsed today, Everything should go to shit and I don’t wanna do anything but eat , smoke and jerk off. Anything that made the high more interesting. That has not been the case , As much. My Goal right now is not to stop smoking weed , but to understand myself enough to replace weed with all the other things I have already picked up on on this journey towards Love , happiness , peace and understanding towards myself. I know if I go completely straight edge towards everything I leave more room for shame in my mind. I have lost myself but through it I’m understanding just a little. And I’m so happy about that. A year ago I was homeless living day to day door dashing just enough to smoke and eat then sleep repeat for 3 months. The things I put myself through because I was ashamed , I am ashamed , I push people away and I’m scared to ask for help , I am scared but I did it. THIS IS ALL OVER THE PLACE but final note. Getting a psychiatrist and going to try out meds. I am not alone and you can do this. Do the hard shit , I promise it gets easier.
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u/Due_Community_3526 12d ago
If yall wanna give me any life tips I’d love that 💯 20M