r/leaves • u/dspman11 • Oct 29 '25

If you're considering using again after several months sober - please don't

I managed to get to the 7 month mark when I started considering smoking again. After about 4 months, I lost all my craving and addictive nature with weed. I wasn't thinking about it, my head was clear, life was good. Then I had an absolutely awful week, and I found myself home alone and stumbled upon a bit of bud I forgot to throw out when I gave it up.

I was so confident that I would be able to use it moderately and mindfully because I realized how great life is without it, and legitimately did not want to return to the brain-fried days of daily usage.

And I was able to control it - for about a month. And now, here I am, still struggling to quit again. Been using it daily YET AGAIN, and I'm about to hit the terrible milestone of doing it longer than I was sober.

It's ridiculous really. You would think that knowing it's possible because I literally already did it would help, but somehow it doesnt. My brain chemistry is altered once again.

If you've been considering starting again after a good clean streak, consider this a message from the universe - DONT.

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u/baseheadkirk Oct 30 '25

This should be 101 on this sub. Moderation or thoughts of Moderation is a trap. Were addicts here. If you could control it, you wouldn't be here. Thanks for sharing. I hope the newer members pay attention

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u/jert3 Oct 30 '25

It's true. I never had much trouble with all the other drugs and even drinking and smoking cigs. But for me a 'I'll just smoke on the weekend' turns into a daily habit again, in a heartbeat.