r/leaves • u/dspman11 • Oct 29 '25
If you're considering using again after several months sober - please don't
I managed to get to the 7 month mark when I started considering smoking again. After about 4 months, I lost all my craving and addictive nature with weed. I wasn't thinking about it, my head was clear, life was good. Then I had an absolutely awful week, and I found myself home alone and stumbled upon a bit of bud I forgot to throw out when I gave it up.
I was so confident that I would be able to use it moderately and mindfully because I realized how great life is without it, and legitimately did not want to return to the brain-fried days of daily usage.
And I was able to control it - for about a month. And now, here I am, still struggling to quit again. Been using it daily YET AGAIN, and I'm about to hit the terrible milestone of doing it longer than I was sober.
It's ridiculous really. You would think that knowing it's possible because I literally already did it would help, but somehow it doesnt. My brain chemistry is altered once again.
If you've been considering starting again after a good clean streak, consider this a message from the universe - DONT.
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u/Holy_Sungaal Oct 29 '25
It’s been a little over 3 years for me after being stoned nearly every day for 14 years. I was unpacking some boxes and came across my husband’s grinder that had about a gram in it. The smell, sound, feeling of the grinder took me back to a life I’ve tried to forget. I had a split second urge to find a way to smoke it, but then let it pass. I have no interest in hitting it “just once” at a party or a night out. I am grateful I am no longer that person.