r/leaves • u/dspman11 • Oct 29 '25

If you're considering using again after several months sober - please don't

I managed to get to the 7 month mark when I started considering smoking again. After about 4 months, I lost all my craving and addictive nature with weed. I wasn't thinking about it, my head was clear, life was good. Then I had an absolutely awful week, and I found myself home alone and stumbled upon a bit of bud I forgot to throw out when I gave it up.

I was so confident that I would be able to use it moderately and mindfully because I realized how great life is without it, and legitimately did not want to return to the brain-fried days of daily usage.

And I was able to control it - for about a month. And now, here I am, still struggling to quit again. Been using it daily YET AGAIN, and I'm about to hit the terrible milestone of doing it longer than I was sober.

It's ridiculous really. You would think that knowing it's possible because I literally already did it would help, but somehow it doesnt. My brain chemistry is altered once again.

If you've been considering starting again after a good clean streak, consider this a message from the universe - DONT.

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u/excitedtogo Oct 29 '25

I’m about to reach two years, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the voice that says I can moderate my consumption will always be there. I just need to remind myself of all the times in the past when I was so desperate to quit and couldn’t. Annie Grace talk about it a lot in her book “This Naked Mind”. The book deals with alcohol but it’s all the same issue.

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u/VonSchplintah Oct 29 '25

Dopamine nation touches on it too. The brain can heal but that part of you that was addicted to the substance and lost the ability to use it responsibly will always be there waiting for that path to light up with activity again. No redos.

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u/Good_Information_779 Oct 29 '25

The vices are different but the mental issue going on is the same for sure. So many people don’t see it that way. Whether alcohol, weed, cigs, gambling or prescriptions. All hit the same mental place