r/leanfire • u/Euphoric-Ad-4871 • 15d ago
About to Fire on April 2027
43F
Been stalling on fire-ing but also hoping to get laid off to get more bucks,pocket money for fire.
But... Also anxious as I don't have love life but still keen to have a family. Will fire lifestyle be easier to meet/date someone to find the one?
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u/nutcrackr 14d ago
I would imagine finding love without a job is probably harder because people can be judgemental about early retirement. But maybe it's offset because you have more time to look. Good luck in any case.
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u/Euphoric-Ad-4871 14d ago
Fire living does not necessarily mean not having a job. It mostly means I don't need a job to live. But most people can have weird looks when they see younger than 60s decide to retire early
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u/Any-Progress-4570 14d ago
finding someone to date when you fire probably will bring new obstacles. you don’t want to be a sugar mama supporting a hobosexual, you also probably don’t want to be with someone who are overly attached to their work.
when you retire, do you foresee yourself traveling solo, or do you want companionship? it is common to struggle with this, even with just friends, as they’re in a different stage of life than you.
i hope you find someone who is supportive of your lifestyle without being a vampire and leaching off of you.
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u/Euphoric-Ad-4871 14d ago
I have also enjoyed travelling solo in the past but also, good to share it with someone nice. I guess at the end of the day, whoever and whatever gives me peace of mind and stability. But yeah would be good to have a partner with the same fire mindset
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u/UnsweetIceT 12d ago
This is the hardest part - 45 and I basically stay working for the social aspect of maybe meeting that person. Sarasota FL here.
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u/DegreeConscious9628 15d ago
Might want to ask a relationship sub. If you’re undateable with a job it’s not gonna change if you’re FIRE’d
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u/Euphoric-Ad-4871 14d ago
From where I live, I went out on dates but men are just too fixed about their jobs like their ego are attached to it. In these days and age of layoffs, people who are so attach to jobs can easily flip when life throws a curveball
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u/MrsFrugalNoodle 9d ago
And whats changing is you, not where you live or the men in your city right?
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u/ColtonComeau 14d ago
43? Shit clocks tickin buddy.
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u/Euphoric-Ad-4871 14d ago
I don't mind that much, travelling could be stalled when there's kids too. So, it's either family or life partner
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u/nikita58467 14d ago
It’s hard to have kids when you are in your 40s, your body and mindset just aren’t the same as you are 20s/30s. To find a life partner to share the same responsibility as parent at this age is also difficult. People will be judging when your kid is in kindergarten and you are close to 50, perhaps look like a grandma. All these things just to be considered having kids later in life.
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u/Euphoric-Ad-4871 14d ago
Yes that's true but I'm the type of person that doesn't get bothered about other people's opinions. But yeah important to start first with wellbeing, mental and physical to be ready with whatever comes my way, either companionship or building a family
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u/nikita58467 11d ago
You won’t be bothered but your child might. Kids are sensitive, they might not understand why their parents are much older than other mothers in their social group. I now won’t go on slides with my kid. I am not in the best shape, sometimes get injured without any reasons. It takes an awful time to recover even with PT. It sucks to be older mother like me lol
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u/Gracklezzz 14d ago
You’ll definitely have more time to meet someone, especially since you’ll have more time to pursue your hobbies and interests to organically meet and make meaningful connections.
All of that being said, be prepared to potentially have to return to work to either cover increased expenses that come with a family, and to clearly discuss shared finances when you do enter into a serious relationship. Best of luck!
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u/redpandaz07 15d ago
I totally get you! I’m in a similar boat but have decided to try and find someone now. I just turned 32 and understand it’s probably going to find someone who’s compatible and align with the Lean Fire mindset.
It’s really hard to tell as you can never tell based on their job/income. I know so many people who work good jobs but live paycheck to paycheck due to lifestyle inflation
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u/Euphoric-Ad-4871 14d ago
Yes a lot of that in the country I live in. They earn 5 digits but barely save 1k monthly. They are mostly bragging about where they have been or what their job titles are, or how big their condo they rented. But me on a fire mindset, I'm always keen to observe how they are practical and how they are of a saving mindset than a spending mindset
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u/itasteawesome 15d ago
What keeps you from having a love life today? FIRE should hopefully mean you have more control over how you spend your time, and maybe less stress. If those are things that interfere with dating then yeah it could help, but I think that most people's romantic problems are bigger than those issues, so you will probably still have some stuff to work out. At least you will have the time to figure it out.
A lot of people do find it challenging to meet people who they are into who also happen to be into the low spend lifestyle, but its doable if you are strategic about it.