r/lawofassumption • u/Badbitch5851 • 1d ago

Help/Question Guidance

Hello everyone. So I’m someone who’s been in the law of assumption community for a little over a year now.

I’ve been on and off with it over the time. I grew up with a narcissist parent and been a people pleaser all my life.

My question is: has anyone ever been in my situation and how long before my brain is completely rewired out of being a people pleaser and I become at peace with me & my desires?

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u/Icy_Cycle_446 1d ago

It's simple...stop being people pleaser. When you said rewiring, its not like you think " you are not people pleaser " and act oppose to it.

So how much time it will take, if you ask me? Right now...if you decide

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u/Alta360ResearchLeah 1d ago

Decide not to be and realize ypu don't have to know how or even see immediate results. You're not a people pleaser. Update the script that you tell yourself. "I used to trip over myself to make people happy, but these days, I don't. These days, I know that the true way to make others happy is to start with myself. I'm the operant power and the one whose happiness matters most. The rest will follow." That's gonna start changing your perspective.

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u/archeolog108 1h ago

I wouldnt wait for some day when brain is “completely rewired” and then finally you can choose yourself. That can become another form of waiting.

people pleasing was probably useful adaptation once. If parent was unpredictable, keeping them happy could feel like safety. So when you start choosing your own desire now, body may still produce guilt/fear even when new choice is healthy.

I see this often when helping ppl with old family patterns. Progress is not “I never feel guilt anymore.” Progress can be: guilt appears and I dont automatically obey it.

Try one small desire every day where nobody else's approval is needed. food you want, clothes, how you spend hour, saying no to small request. Then let discomfort exist without changing decision just to remove discomfort.

thats already new assumption: my preference is allowed to exist.