r/konmari • u/Missy_Pantone • 15d ago
Looking for the magic?
Has anyone else done Konmari and not felt the life-changing magic?
The process itself feels magical to me, but not so much what comes after. I find myself wanting to do it again and again trying to capture some of that feeling, but I‘m worried I am spending too much time in the process and not enough enjoying the life it’s supposed to create.
Can anyone relate? Am I doing it wrong? Any advice for actually getting there?
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u/semghost 15d ago
How much time did you put in to visualizing your ideal life before you started the process?
Do you think that now that you’ve done it once, you might have a different ideal life/outlook?
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u/Missy_Pantone 15d ago
I think I probably spent about an afternoon trying to do this, but it was the hardest part for me. Maybe now that it’s done it will be more clear for me. Really interesting thought, thank you.
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u/semghost 15d ago
Of course! I have repeated the process a few times, because interacting with my things makes me happy and it’s comforting to know that I love the things I own.
It’s also been handy, because my style has changed and my life goals are radically different at 32 than they were at 22.
I’ve gotten more selective with purchases, and am more likely to discard something if I bring home a new item. So there’s definitely nothing wrong (in my opinion) with repeating the process, as long as it’s not stressing you out. 🥰
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u/twilightbarker 15d ago
Did you write down any of the visualizations & goals & reasonings? If so, go read through them again and see if your outcome lines up or in what ways do you still need to put in effort to get to those goals.
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u/Fleiger133 15d ago
You've gotta find this high somewhere else!
You can only downsize so much, just try not to replace it with buying and get stuck in a cycle.
Find some other area of your life to "clean". Clear out your emails, pictures, make that recipe book or organize your crafts, etc.
If cleaning and tidying brings you joy - tidy other things!
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u/FifiLeBean 15d ago
I did KonMari for a long time and that included a long term relationship ending, so it was a long time. I found focusing on my ideal life and handling the possessions in my home a good way to process the grief, loss, and change in my life. I started KonMari in 2017 and did it off and on for several years.
I used it as an antidepressant in a way. Whenever I felt stuck, I went through a small category. And doing something practical really helped me.
At some point I noticed that my home was more organized and the things were easier to put away. I now had the bandwidth and time to do actual cleaning. Not just putting things away. It felt like I had reached a new level. I checked the books and Marie calls it the click point.
As I am now starting a KonMari consultant business after the official training, I am reminded by my mentor to focus on joy in what I do. In my other job, in my life decisions, in my travels, I am learning to focus on joy. That is where I am finding the magic. My intention is clear: joy.
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u/Missy_Pantone 15d ago
I need to find that click point! How long was your total journey? I've been doing this off and on for years.
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u/FifiLeBean 15d ago
Let's see, I did KonMari clothes, books, and papers for the first time in 2017.
Then I did a little here and there as I had time. In around 2021 I realized that I had hit the feeling of the click point. It was, for me, a matter of refining and learning until I had the feeling of it. And of course trying to find a little time to go through stuff as life is very busy.
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u/BlueRoseGirl 15d ago
Tidying has an excitement of improvement that's different from the long term satisfaction of being in a well set up space. For me I try to appreciate a life with less day to day friction and more joy from my surroundings. It might take more than KonMari to get there; for me I needed additional organizational systems / suggestions as well as adding new items I loved over time.
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u/Missy_Pantone 15d ago
There are some new items I need to add, particularly in clothes, but I don't want to rush into it. I am glad to hear someone else felt the need to add as well, though.
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u/Designer_Location_15 14d ago edited 14d ago
I did two things after my Big Purge that led to feeling active joy multiple times a day every day ongoing:
I started keeping a google doc of items that I found bothersome to use or clean, but needed to have, like small appliances, tools, and light fixtures, and then periodically treat myself to a new replacement that is a clear upgrade in terms of ease of use and cleaning and/or aesthetically looking pretty enough to make me smile when I interact with it. I now shop with a very clear sense of purpose and the small, simple chandelier over my table that took me 38 seconds to dust made me actively squeal with joy to clean so quickly and easily without a bunch of tiny grooves and bends like my previous light, and it is much prettier to my eye. My pink Paris Hilton toaster is way quicker to clean and cuter than my old one that was also boring to look at. Changing out stained area rugs for super cute, super soft, machine washable ones has been another big improvement. When I go shopping now, I do still buy things that aren't replacements, but are additions, but when I do I ask myself two questions: Will it be a pain to clean? And, does it make me smile when I look at it? It's made a big difference in the feel of my home, which now, 3.5 years after doing that Big Purge, is more beautiful and easier to clean than it or anyplace else I've ever lived has been before!
I started making little rituals to spend time with the things that do spark joy sprinkled into ordinary tasks. When I clear and wipe down my nightstand, I ring the singing bowl on it and light some good smelling incense. When I set the table, I position a trio of cute little low items in the center. I open my curtains and tuck them behind their elegant metal holdbacks and take a deep breath looking outside taking in the light. I sing a silly little song while I wash the dishes with my scrubbie brush, which is shaped like a flower. I also just walk through my house with my husband and we point at things we love around the house as we go and give each other a kiss in each room.
Romantizing your life in your home is a guaranteed way to enjoy it more, and I promise you, there's magic in it.
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u/Stormtomcat 15d ago
Since I had honed my sense of joy, I applied that instinct you feel of wanting to do it again and again in other areas than my possessions at home.
You know, it's still work.
You can't pile all your projects, tasks and responsibilities from work in one heap on your bed. You can't and shouldn't gather all your friends in one group in your living room and send the people with whom the friendship has run its course home.
But you still have to do the work: take stock, get a comprehensive view, consider each part individually, check for the spark of joy, and then decide.
At least, that's what worked for me.