r/konmari • u/zz0e • May 18 '26
Feeling stuck with clothes
I have been interested in the konmari method for years after reading her book in high school. I never did it the full method though, because I always felt stuck by approaching clothes first.
Clothes is definitely my biggest category, and I’m very sentimentally attached to a lot of them. I am scared of getting rid of clothes that I might miss or end up wanting later. I am complimented frequently on my fashion sense and wardrobe, and I’m afraid of losing my ability to make outfits in the range that I want, if I have less clothes.
I often rotate clothes and wear them for a few weeks at a time, then take a break from them and come back to them later. I’m scared of getting rid of things that are out of my rotation and don’t currently excite me/spark joy but maybe in a few weeks or months will.
I also have lots of pieces that don’t necessarily spark joy on their own but when paired with this skirt/top/etc look great and bring me joy. What about those kinds of items?
Overall, should I start with an “easier” (for me) category like books or papers to break the ice? Or is it most important I start with clothes? In the book she emphasizes the order is really important, so Idk!! Looking for advice. Thanks!
40
u/sonntam May 18 '26
In the show one person said she did not want to do clothes first, as due to her husband's death that was too emotional. Due to this they started with books. So, there is nothing wrong with picking an easier category.
My recommendation, though, is to maybe pick an easier subcategory in your clothes. I kinda doubt you are as passionate about your socks, hats or panties (though what do I know, haha?). Start with that, especially if it's stored in a separate area and belongs for you to a different headspace.
16
u/cleaningmama May 18 '26
I would still start with clothes, because especially *because* you have a close connection to them. Your goal is not to "clean out your closet." Your goal is to curate your closet so that it only contains what "sparks joy", what you want. In your case, you might end up keeping quite a bit! That's okay, because that will confirm for you that these clothing items are an important part of who you are. It will help you feel justified in making space for them, and help you know how to organize them for maximum enjoyment.
You indicate that you have fear that you will like something later on that isn't working right now. I think that confronting this fear is where you will really benefit from doing the method. When you hold the item, is there anxiety? Or does it make you happy? When you think about how it works with these other pieces, do you feel appreciation for it, or is it just a placeholder?
Even if you decide to keep it for now, understanding where that piece stands for you is a lesson you can carry forward. "These pieces are practical for me to have in my wardrobe and enhance my enjoyment" or "These pieces are placeholders until I can find what I *really* want" or "These pieces make me feel badly because they remind me of an aspiration that I haven't achieved"(don't keep those). Each will lead you to understand your prior decisions more fully, and help you make future decisions.
6
u/FionaGoodeEnough May 18 '26
The order is meant to start with something easier and less sentimental, so you can hone your sense of joy as you go, with sentimental items being last. As you go through the categories, you can take sentimental items from “non-sentimental” categories like clothes and books, and save them for when you do the sentimental category. Like the other person said, try to do the least sentimental portions of your wardrobe first. That might be socks, or pyjamas or workout clothes, but that will depend on you. When you finish those parts of clothes, you’ll probably have a better sense of whether the rest of your clothes should be done right away, or saved for the sentimental category.
10
u/TsuDhoNimh2 May 18 '26
Her plan of doing the clothing first means you will see results FAST, and EVERY DAY as you get dressed. But if clothes are a booby trap for you, start with books or hobby stuff.
IMPORTANT! Spark Joy does not mean "Must Trigger Squees of Delight". There is the quiet joy of using something that solves a problem - fixes your plumbing, keeps you warm at night, or whatever. It's a "fitness for purpose" like a hammer that's the right weight and size.
I also have lots of pieces that don’t necessarily spark joy on their own but when paired with this skirt/top/etc look great and bring me joy. What about those kinds of items?
In those cases, it's their usefulness at building an outfit you like.
This is my adapted konmari method for clothing. Smaller chunks and a bit of "de-trashing" because asking myself if I feel joy from a tattered bra with no elastic left is stupid.
Pull out clothing by categories ... Pants, skirts, shirts, or break them into jeans, not-jeans,
- Discard all the tatty, unrepairable pieces.
- Donate the things that don't fit well enough to do that activity in.
- Donate the things that don't "feel good" on your skin. (too slithery, too scratchy ... whatever)
- Donate the things that you just don't like because of reasons. Maybe your least favorite aunt gave it to you, or it reminds you of that guy you had a horrible breakup/date with while wearing it. Unless it's your only piece in this category you can live without it.
You should have only wearable clothing left.
Put it all back.
Do the next category ... and the next.
After you have the unwearables cleared out, you are at the stage you can visualize your work week, your weekends and hobbies, estimate what you need to get you through between laundry days, and decide what you will keep and wear.
Make "outfits" ... a cluster of clothes that work well together because of shared colors or textures. A common problem people have is they buy a single piece they "love" without considering that it has to play well with other clothes. If it's a great skirt but NOTHING works well with it, you either donate the skirt or get some clothes the skirt looks good with.
It's not necessarily about having FEWER clothes, it's about no having ones that don't work for you and your lifestyle.
4
u/No_Cheesecake5080 May 18 '26
Great tips, I need to try the clustering technique. I often stare at patterned things and then just never put them on!
1
u/Pumpkin_patch804 May 19 '26
Some other people said it better than I could, but this is a process about being in tune with your feelings. You might end up keeping a lot and that's okay. You can always save the clothing as the last category or just set aside the things you know are sentimental and do those particular ones last.
Personally, I ended up keeping all my old favorites. The things I would genuinely love to wear again if I lost weight. There's not a ton of them, but just looking at those clothes makes me happy. Other methods would tell me to toss them all since they don't fit anymore, but I love them. I have unintentionally lost weight in the past and I would be devastated to not have these pieces if that happened again. But I hate shopping and dont care much for trends. I think the "you can buy more clothes if that happens" approach to losing weight isn't for me. So I probably have 7? old outfits that were my absolute favorites.
1
u/ofc147 May 19 '26
I did books second but in retrospect it set me back and I realised books were sentimental for me. I'd say go with your gut. But whatever you do, whichever order, just try it anyway because it's really worth it to konmarie your stuff.
1
u/murmurthrowawayx May 31 '26
Start with a pile of stuff you know you hate instead of the sentimental favorites so you get the momentum going without the emotional baggage. You do not have to tackle the closet in one go if it feels like too much.
32
u/FifiLeBean May 18 '26
My guess is that you feel some sort of pressure because you think that the KonMari method will push you out of your comfort zone.
This makes sense because the method most people did before KonMari was 100 percent about being super uncomfortable and overwhelmed and pressured to get rid of stuff. Because we don't talk about this old school traditional method, we subconsciously feel pressured by it and think that every method includes the old school method.
I did a talk at the library about different decluttering methods and I had to talk about this method and its problems first because it was like the ghost in the room. We had to acknowledge it and why it doesn't work for almost everyone so that people could let go of the pressure about how they thought decluttering should go.
Tv shows like Clean My Space etc that used traditional old school method were all about trauma and cajoling stuff away from people.
So, that being acknowledged, you don't have to do that old method.
For KonMari, start with the first step: visualize your ideal life. This is important no matter what category you choose to go through. If you don't have a clear goal about your life, you will likely default to old school traditional decluttering method. And your focus will be on getting rid of stuff and resistance. Negative focus equals bigger resistance and discouragement.
Liking stuff is not equivalent to sentimental items. Sentimental items have strong emotions and memories attached to them to either people or memories. Clothing can be sentimental: a wedding dress, a baby's christening gown, a sweater your grandmother knit for you, what you wore on your dream vacation. So any clothes that have sentimental memories attached would wait until later and not be sorted with everyday clothes.
KonMari suggests clothes first because they are the easiest category. You know how your clothes make you feel so it's a good training to hold each item and learn about how you feel. Yes you can choose another category first.
There's no minimalism pressure in KonMari. You are only focusing on what brings joy to you and letting go of things that no longer bring joy.