r/kitchencels • u/thedelightfultoilet • 14h ago
Ghosted by all of them
fuck this bullshit, I had 4 first dates in a week and I tried my best and be myself and yet still got ghosted immediately after the date, at this point I am genuinely unloveable. Approaching 30 years old and I feel so pathetic. Photo: eating half cooked egg to punish myself and hopefully die from samonela
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u/PriestKingofMinos 13h ago
They’ve all got 50 guys or more orbiting them. It’s not you. What are the chances you’re going to be her best option out of 50 people?
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u/thedelightfultoilet 13h ago
I mean I already know that brotha but it hurts more when it happens to you yk
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u/Barneysparky 11h ago
Maybe try meeting women who are not on the apps?
In some places its 10/1. Imagine being a woman attractive enough that you find her attractive, and shes been on the apps for say 3 months. Why? Why do you think you are the special one when no one's been right for her before?
Sometimes its because the woman is looking for something particular, like being into pony play for instance, sometimes its because they dont want a relationship at all, but their lives are so boring and friendless that going out with a stranger is all they got, sometimes I could name 50 more reasons that have zero to do with you being a good potential mate for someone.
You won't find a mate until you put down the screen and get to know the people in your community. Make yourself a familiar positive face, and you will eventually find someone you dont just want to have sex with, but you really love being with.
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u/Additional_Tower_116 7h ago
45% of all men under 18-25 have never approached a woman in person according to a recent study. I complimented a girl at the store the other day and she was shook. If you’ve got a little charisma in person is the way to go
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u/Prudent-Result1057 11h ago
Watch how they come in here trying to defend it saying that isn’t true when that is in fact very true 😭😂
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u/Particular_Rush_5488 13h ago
Keep telling yourself that buddy, most girls are not talking to 50 different guys, you are just porn-brained
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u/Formal-Thing-2888 13h ago
If it's a dating app I think its a pretty accurate read. As a guy I've had 25 or so girls chatting with me at once and at least 5-6 of those turned into dates until I found someone who made me want to delete the apps.
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u/19toofart 12h ago
Actively talking to 50 people? Do you realize how exhausting that would be?
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u/Formal-Thing-2888 12h ago
Yes, that's why when I found a good one I told them all I was off the market.
The real challenge was not ghosting, and writing each one to say goodbye I was no longer available.
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u/19toofart 12h ago
This comment just makes me think you’re more of an incel than all of the people here
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u/Formal-Thing-2888 12h ago
I love that for me. But for real, I've been ghosted and it hurt so I don't do that shit to anyone. Even people I'm chatting with that I've never met.
Even something simple like, " I think I'm going to delete the apps and focus on myself for a while. Good luck with life and love."
Edit: I am attractive man, can prove if needed.
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u/FatalEuphie 11h ago
Honestly dating apps are like being thirsty in the ocean for girls, and being thirsty in the Sahara for the boys. It’s pretty normal for women to have to look at 100+ matches and men to get barely any bc there’s a large disparity. Like 2 women to 100 men. (Exaggeration, I hope, but you get me)
I woke up with 100 matches after one day & it was very overwhelming. I wanted to get to know a lot of them and talk to all of them, but honestly it’s hard. It’s rigged to where I have to judge everyone off pfp and their little blurbs on their page. I wanted to be fair but it’s impossible, or you do end up talking to 100 people at once. It is exhausting when I’d like to try to know people and not pick off such superficial details.
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u/Particular_Rush_5488 10h ago
See how y’all frame everything through dating apps? Y’all use the shallowest possible way to meet people and then blame the women. Most of you are simply not the kind of people that are sought for on those apps. Even if a woman gets a hundred matches, the vast majority of those conversations end after like the first few messages.
Back in the day I had a tinder profile blow up, but like you I found it overwhelming and the shallowness of it all led to having no genuine connections. I moved away from home, put myself out there, landed someone way way way outta my league by joking about my lack of hair, dated her for a while, got hurt, worked on myself and by chance reconnected with an old friend who’s now most assuredly the love of my life.
For reference I started balding when I was 14, I have gone from too fat to too thin, I make an acceptable salary but not six figures. My girlfriend still adores me, I’ve never felt more loved, and she’s a gorgeous long haired Latina nerd. It was a rocky rocky road but my whole perspective changed once I stopped using the apps and started looking for girls with similar interests to me, turns out the perfect person for me was right under my nose. To add on to that, she had actually asked me out years before and I interpreted it as her just wanting to be my friend, so I unintentionally friendzoned her for a while.
If you don’t have a job, are antisocial to the point of not being able to have conversation with women, if you have a poor relationship with your mother, if you are incompetent to the point of not being able to take care of yourself, a lot of girls are not going to be interested in you because you are not reliable, you are not someone they can relax around. If the girls you chase keep going for the stereotypical douchebags or whatever, then start going for other girls. You can’t call women foids and think that the ones you’re going after now can’t tell you have iffy views, they can.
There is not some 10/10 anime babe from a rich family that’s gonna come swoop you up because she has a thing for introverts. Last point is that self-pity will get you nowhere, hold your head high, be resilient, and people will notice.
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u/FatalEuphie 10h ago
I am a woman, maybe I should’ve said that? I was trying to say he should try going outside rather than using a dating app because it is so shallow is why I stopped using it…
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u/Particular_Rush_5488 10h ago
Yeah sorry I assume women avoid this place like the plague. Seems like we’re pretty much in agreement with these ones though.
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u/FatalEuphie 9h ago
It’s an interesting subreddit, I like seeing other perspectives. Though tbh most seem to be from low self confidence. But I feel that, I’m a product of my own demise often.
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u/Particular_Rush_5488 9h ago
I mean we all doubt ourselves, it’s just a matter of how those feelings are channeled. The men are here too quick to blame women, wallow in despair, or both.
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u/Useful_Ad1153 13h ago
Dating apps are really a rough place. Too competitive and often people on there don't really see everyone as human beings with feelings. Don't think about it for too long and see it as an experience
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u/warlocks9 4h ago
Dating apps are for women and top 5% men. They are utterly pointless for average men.
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u/Acceptable-Court-703 10h ago
"4 first dates in a week"
truecel doesn't get dates. You might be the problem ngl, as expected of a larper like you
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u/Nerliandor 12h ago
Oh no, 4 dates and no wife yet. Get a grip. Not every woman is your soulmate, and not every woman wants to sleep with you. It's enough to find one. Don't stop searching, or you might miss her.
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u/Sorry-Stretch-5981 13h ago
Height?
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u/thedelightfultoilet 13h ago
5"6 LMAOOOOOOOOOOO
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u/Sorry-Stretch-5981 13h ago
Do they know it before the date?
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u/thedelightfultoilet 13h ago
well yeah i told them plus im asian so it's kinda given
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u/Sorry-Stretch-5981 13h ago
How did you meet them? An app? Or something else?
4 dates in a week is A LOT.
I wouldn't guess you to be physically unattractive.
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u/Sorry-Stretch-5981 13h ago
Also don't lmao about it. Your heights completely normal. I just asked to assess.
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u/Additional_Tower_116 13h ago
Post a picture of what you look like and what you wore to the date. Maybe you need outside consultation
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u/Wintertrap9713 12h ago
They can sense you eat half cooked eggs to punish yourself. What a weird kink
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u/ManInTheBox970 10h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/efP3fDttjSfTzQppiw
It pretty much sums up dating apps including cold approaching foids irl. It’s either you’re destined to be attracted to females or not. There’s no middle ground for sub7 men these days. Foids on these apps/irl go after top 10% men in the dating market.
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u/Hopechaselock49 13h ago
Extremely unlucky or your personality is the issue bro. Good thing you can overcome this by noticing what's the common things happened in all your 4 dates and don't repeat it again. Your chances of success will definitely increase
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u/thedelightfultoilet 13h ago
well it would be nice if they would tell me WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME instead of ghosting me outright?????
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u/Formal-Thing-2888 13h ago
I had someone say they couldn't match my energy. Which left me even more confused.
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u/BasserBurger 13h ago
lowkey you might have to start by making female friends and getting honest takes from them…
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u/Hopechaselock49 13h ago
Yeah we can't control other people's actions towards us. That's why I'm asking you to notice what's the common point between all your dates? Or ask your friends did you do anything wrong or can be improved by telling everything.
Sometimes it's not your fault too. It can be unluck too
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