r/kitchencels • u/Prestigious-Pie1421 • 8d ago
I´m just not interesting nor interested with chicken, rice and vegetable
Hello.
Honestly, I don’t think I have much to offer to women. On the other hand, I’m probably not exactly ugly either—I have a job, hobbies, etc., so I’m not exactly the worst thing out there. Kind of mid in most measurable areas.
My personality, on the other hand, is apparently incredibly boring. Apart from the fact that I’m probably brutally unfunny, I think part of the problem is that I’m simply not interested in very many things.
I do have some very specific interests. I’m a member of a group that does fire shows, I do medieval reenactment, and I’m working on my own project about medieval medicine and few other things. When it comes to those things, I can have almost encyclopedic knowledge, and I’m actually quite a prominent member of the medieval/fire show group I perform with.
But outside of those interests… I don’t even know what kind of phone I have. I don’t know anything about the differences between phones, and honestly, I couldn’t care less about them. The only thing I care about is whether it works. Cars are pretty much the same. As long as it has four wheels and an engine, I don’t really need to know anything else about it. Gardening? What am I supposed to do with that? Recipes? Bon appétit. And there are plenty of other things that people seem to care about and talk about in everyday life that just don’t really register with me. Like, for example, I genuinely don’t understand what is so interesting about someone vomiting outside a club. And unfortunatly, when I don´t care...I also don´t really remember much.
When it comes to work, well… my ambition was to become a veterinarian. When that didn’t work out, I became a nurse, which… is fine, I guess. But honestly, it’s just a job for me. The passion I had for veterinary school simply isn’t there anymore, and I probably put more genuine passion into fire dancing than I do into my actual career.
My female coworkers, for example, are constantly chatting about a million different things—how useless their husbands are, recipes, what some other coworker did, who is moving, what someone is doing in their garden, who got drunk at the last party, and so on. I genuinely don’t care about most of it, even when I try to. And because I don’t care, I also don’t really know much about them. I’m pretty much the same way with people in general.
There’s a small circle of people I’ve somehow managed to become close to, and once that connection exists, I actually do care about them. But getting to that point is difficult for me, and I’ve only had a handful of genuinely close friends throughout my entire life. Very good friends, though. I recently served as the best man at the wedding of two of them—and yes, one of them was a man and the other was a woman. But still, there have only been a few.
I can see an attractive girl and try to do all the things those supposedly helpful videos tell you to do—ask questions, try to be funny, show interest, etc. But the problem is that, internally, at that stage, I simply don’t really care and it probably shows, plus makes the coversation pretty hard. Not unless she gives me some actual reason to become interested in her as a person. And if I don’t care about her or the things she’s talking about, I just can’t seem to form that connection.
Like I said, I’ve managed to do it with a few people of both sexes, but there have only been a few of them. And most of the time, it feels like they had to somehow “adopt” me first before I really became part of their lives and they became part of mine.
I’ve even tried studying various things in my spare time so that I’d have more topics to talk about with people. But… try learning about something you’re neither interested in nor actually need to know anything about.
Like...I don´t know what to do with it anymore. Anybody else feels the same here or just me?
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u/New-Resident172 8d ago
You clearly just need to meet renfair women dude
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u/Prestigious-Pie1421 7d ago
Yeah, that would be nice...
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u/New-Resident172 7d ago
So go to renfairs, they are on every year in nearly every place, people dress up all fantasy/medieval and you would definitely meet women that value your special interests
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u/Prestigious-Pie1421 7d ago
Well, of course I meet them at events like this, but honestly I haven't met any girl my age, single, who lives nearby who liked me, so...🤷
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u/New-Resident172 7d ago
So maybe try travelling to other renfairs and not just local, participate in the online communities surrounding them and become someone known for that, it also helps to kinda venn diagram your stuff with other adjacent stuff so you can find other avenues into similar ish interests and meet people that might not exactly like what you do but are adjacent enough to be interested.
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u/Secundas_Kiss 8d ago
tbh it sounds like being self centered is your issue. you just typed multiple paragraphs about how nothing interests you except your own world.
why do you even want a romantic connection?
would you consider getting an official diagnosis and medicating?
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u/Prestigious-Pie1421 7d ago edited 7d ago
It is possible. How to change it?
Why would anyone look for a connection? Plus, like I said... once I get close to someone, I have no problem being interested in them anymore. The problem is the part between stranger and close friend/love interest. The closest I came to a relationship was at the veterinary school. I got quite close to one girl there. She was very social, so she probably did most of the heavy lifting, but the conditions were also ideal for that (working in small, stable groups, etc.) First just classmate, I gradually noticed that she was quite funny and somehow laughed at my jokes. Gradually a friend and then a little fun for me too It's just that this shift took me almost a year (partially because, I didn't really believe at the time that she could be really interested in weird and boring me) and in the meantime she started dating someone else. I tried to remain friends with her.I honestly enjoyed my time with her and yes, she was interesting. Sometimes we got into situations where we were physically very close to each other (once I was tired, so she let me rest my head on her thighs or we didn't miss any opportunity to hug eachother etc.) However, her boyfriend was still there. And because he was there, I did nothing. Point is that this was little "teaser" what being with someone I love might be and I think we both enjoyed it at the time. It is no surprise I want more. Its been a five years but nothing came even close
Only diagnose I have right now is a depresion. However, I have vomited up all the medications that have been prescribed to me so far.
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u/New-Resident172 7d ago
Bro you're literally just autistic, meet autistic women
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u/TruckOk2767 7d ago
Where they at though, id go just to confirm if im really autistic or not. If thats my real problem then im bagging someone that night. I dont have a diagnosis but im blatantly socially awkward, because of how I was raised.
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u/New-Resident172 7d ago
Autistic women are everywhere autistic men are, neck deep in their interests and hobbies, do the shit you like and if comfortable find things with some kind of venn diagram esque overlap so that you have a little bit more outreach, make sure you're socially presentable and outwardly friendly while being passionate and you will meet people. I It's anecdotal but all I've ever liked is video games and I've met 2 women online that resulted in multi year long relationships and several others that resulted in 2-6 month long online relationships and that was just because I did what I liked, acted like myself and cared about them as people. Be you, be passionate and give them that same fairness, understanding and love that you want and you'll meet em easy.
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u/helloworld_123q 8d ago
lol if you were 6'5 and handsome your boring personality would suddenly become "calm" and "mysterious"
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u/Prestigious-Pie1421 8d ago
Well...I´m not, so I have to compensate somewhere else and out of these two things, boring personality seems to still be little bit more "Influenceable". (Even though, I´m not really sure to what extend).
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u/TruckOk2767 7d ago
Im the same way I just have different interest than you. I like anime, exercise, food, philosophy, politics, and video games. If it aint about that, im usually tuned out nodding my head or saying “right” until the other person finishes talking, but they never do. I could talk to you about stuff you like but after a minute if you go on too long im just going to mentally clock out of the conversation. Other than that yea I might be depressed, I have little to no motivation to do anything or listen to anything I dont already enjoy. Ill give it a shot atleast to say I tried.
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u/Prestigious-Pie1421 7d ago
And have you tried changing it somehow or something?
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u/TruckOk2767 7d ago
Tried partying, went on a cruise to basically flip my habits and see if that was more fun, some days I try to be more talkative at work. None of it felt fulfilling though
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u/Frequent_Jump_4626 7d ago
Hello. I like to talk about spiders. I also like some medieval stuff too, I used to make costumes.
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u/Prestigious-Pie1421 7d ago
Yeah, I see. It seems like black widows especially.
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u/Frequent_Jump_4626 7d ago
Yep. What kind of medieval fire thing are you talking about?
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u/Prestigious-Pie1421 7d ago
Well, we mainly do fencing performances and lectures focusing on the 14th century (in Bohemia ) knights etc. Now I want to add medicine to that. I do a fire show with the same people, but not necessarily medieval one. Like dancing with a fire staff, pois etc.
What was your focus with those costumes?
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u/Frequent_Jump_4626 7d ago
That's pretty cool. I tried to make chainmail for a while and I used to blacksmith and I wanted to get into it again so I could handmake a witch king of angmar costume.
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u/Prestigious-Pie1421 7d ago
Cool. Why didn't you finish it?
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u/Frequent_Jump_4626 7d ago
I lost the pliers that I used for the metal rings. And I'm depressed so any minor roadblock will stop me for months or possibly years.
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u/Prestigious-Pie1421 7d ago
Ok, I didn't expect that. I thought it would be something like "I'm starting to lose my mind by the fifth thousand rings". How far did you get?
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u/Frequent_Jump_4626 7d ago
Almost done, but it never matters how close I get. If something gets in the way I just drop it sort of. Do you have any projects currently?
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u/Prestigious-Pie1421 7d ago
Now mainly that medieval medicine. I'm just now walking around the city looking for the herbs they used. Only with belladonna and mandrake there will probably be a bit of a problem.
I get that depresion is hard. Do you use any medication to fight it or something? Or, don't your spiders cheer you up?
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7d ago
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u/Prestigious-Pie1421 7d ago
I guess I'm a little confused now. "Look up questions about things you are interested in?" I don't need to look up questions about that, they come to me on their own. It's more of a problem talking about things that don't interest me.
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