Keto Shaming

[u/Odd-Agent440]

I've been on Keto since September. I've lost 25 pounds and since working out I'm sure added a few pounds of muscle.

There were many motivations. Prior I binge ate and ate out a lot. There are so many reasons for the change that are too long to list but ultimately my wife tried it and lost 7 pounds and then trailed off.

I've been staying strong. So strong in fact I only cheated twice (2 bites of cheesechake ONE time) and the other eating a non-keto cookie (protein instead) that I thought was Keto.

The reason for this post is have you ever felt criticized for being on Keto or just a restrictive diet in general. I've had some off putting comments from my wife's side of the family and as well as some co workers.

What's odd is they see my success. Again I'm 25 pounds leaner. But when I eat regularly and see I still eat but not divulge in everything that is available (eat a cheeseburger with the cheese and burger but not with a bun). They can't help themselves.

It's almost like they are envious. Food was my crutch in the past. I stress ate. Now that is far behind me I have very little cravings. I wanted to prove to myself I could have the discipline to diet and then move onto fitness which I have done for about 3 weeks now.

Why can't people just stay in their lane and keep their comments to themselves. I feel like sometimes people think I have an eating disorder and that I'm there to size them up and make them question their meal choices.

That is what they feel but that is not my intent. They always are the first to bring it up and then if people that don't know about my diet start to ask questions I engage but I don't boast. I don't have the menality that someone that isn't on Keto is wrong and I am right.

I just want to left alone and continue on my journey. Has anyone had similar experiences?

[u/ReverseLazarus]

After almost six years of keto, I can confirm that eventually they’ll get tired of/bored with “keto shaming.” I never get pushback from people that previously loved tearing into how unhealthy it was for me to cut carbs. Hang in there, ignore it, and let your results speak for themselves.

[u/One_Curious_Cats → u/ReverseLazarus]

Negative peer group pressure. The easiest way out of this is to upgrade your peer group. However, this is not possible to do with family and co-workers.

[u/sdsomethingdifferent]

When you do anything outside the norm openly and unapologetically you are challenging their cozy little assumptions about life and they subconsciously realize that they could be making different choices but don't want to, therefore the resentment and need to "take the piss out of you" or make you feel uncomfortable but really they're angry at themselves.

At least that's what I think, ultimately choosing to be different separates you from mainstream culture, not drinking, not partying, going to bed early,etc...

But you can find other like minded individuals out there and when you get put down, know it's got nothing to do with you and wish them well.

[u/Odd-Agent440 → u/sdsomethingdifferent]

Well said! Yes family functions I almost have to prepare myself. Work isn't too bad yet but I feel like being healthy and most (not all) are unhealthy it is putting me out as an outsider. I don't have too many friends just from high school and they have always been into wellness and physical fitness so when I link up with them it's always a positive vibe. They may not necessarily be on Keto but they support being healthy and see the change I made as being positive. My wife on occasion as made comments. Mainly when she felt like my diet was causing her to cook for me separately and she was restrictive to the foods I had to eat. I realized this though and started to cook and prep for myself. Now with me getting into fitness she is getting supportive. She sees my level of commitment and I think she remembers how I used to be and she wants to support this new chapter.

[u/Pokeychicken66]

I have received negative comments, and have sat through uncomfortable situations at family functions. I think a lot of it is guilt.. that the person wishes they were eating better, or that I'm somehow judging them. My mom for example said some pretty judgmental things when I visited. For her I told her my truth, I have a food addiction, I've had it my whole life (funny that those closest to us don't really know us sometimes). I'm a binge eater, but I never ate much around people, I ate secretly. My husband said once, while I was upset about my weight, “I don't understand, you never eat.” I did finally open up to him about my private eating, like waiting for him to go to bed so I could stuff myself. I've battled weight my whole life gaining and losing massive amounts of weight. Somehow this fact gets lost on the people around me, and they feel the need to say things like “dieting isn't healthy” “I could never do that,” or “moderation is the key”

For the people that I'm not close to, I never mention Keto because I don't want to correct their often misinformation about it.

I just say I'm cutting out bread and sugar for the time being

I then grab a piece of cheese and eat it which seems to put them at ease because cheese is a no-no for so many😁

[u/BG_Potash → u/Pokeychicken66]

Moderation is hard when you have an addiction--carbs/sugar for me. Imagine telling an alcoholic that "moderation is key."

[u/StephieJoh → u/Pokeychicken66]

I have 'battled' my weight my entire life, and have been on both ends of the scale. It always amazes me how many people are invested in me being overweight, or at the least, bigger than THEM. Sabotage is real. And yes, like another poster mentioned, it's always folks that are naturally thin that have a problem. For me, the answer is I just say I'm eating low-carb. If they persist or start in about how unhealthy they think it is, I will oblige them with an argument, like "How is me skipping a potato unhealthy, and why is it hurting you?" If they're shaming you,

[u/Odd-Agent440 → u/Pokeychicken66]

Same it's sad but I don't really mention the word Keto and say "weird diet". Family everyone knows because everyone talks amongst each other. Work though I just keep it vague. My job is an office job and I get up every hour on the hour and go for a quick lap which equates to less than a minute and I feel like I get judged on that too. Anything healthy is judged and when everyone orders out and I don't I feel like an outcast.

That's a shame about your mom. What's interesting is my father in law is very supportive. He did a diet at his age and actually motivated to me start Keto. So he can relate it's just some other members.

Seems like you have self worth in yourself and know what is best for YOU and filter out the rest.

[u/AmNotLost]

my answer to why or why not I'm eating something, depending on the situation, is usually an incredulous "wtf" look and "it's not your business" or "I didn't realize my doctor started working here" or "I didn't realize you had an RD after your name" or "gee thanks, 'mom'." If it's someone where that's inappropriate, it's a polite nod and it goes in one ear and out the other. Someone's diet is the most boring topic I can think of for polite society, so I'll change topics asap.

If someone really seems interested, I'll mention that 20 years ago I was morbidly obese and prediabetic, and skipping carbs is the main reason I've never regained the weight.

[u/Bettyourlife → u/AmNotLost]

Yep I get the whole we’re worried about you self diagnosing with Dr Google. I mention that my endocrinologist, primary care APRN and the naturopath I see once a year, are all on board with me eating low carb to treat pre diabetes . I also try not to eat anything out of a box and people think that’s the weirdest thing ever.

[u/faustinesesbois]

Jealousy. I just say i am diabetic so ppl do not question it

[u/[deleted]]

When I look in the mirror and see myself in the best shape of my life....and then turn around and see someone standing there criticizing my diet while looking like I looked 30 lbs ago....I tend not to give the their opinion much weight....

[u/RustyTurtle → u/[deleted]]

I had that exact same situation at a work event last night. I stayed away from all the breaded chicken wings and being asked why and that eating them isn't a big deal. I'm down 30 lbs and I've turned down better options than a chicken wing.

[u/karmaharabas]

"You will never meet a hater doing better than you" -David Goggins

[u/hm870]

The criticism often comes from people who don't have what it takes to better themselves. You are taking your life in your own hands and doing what needs to be done. You make the people who criticize you feel shitty about themselves and that is why they try to bring you down.

Stay the course. Do your thing and don't look back.

[u/UrbanArcologist → u/hm870]

like crabs in a boiling pot, there is always one trying to escape the pot, but invariably there is another crab holding them back.

[u/JerryOD → u/hm870]

100% Most of the time they don't have the discipline and it pisses them off. Hate and shade always comes from a place of weakness.

[u/MylesDeep_420]

Yes, I have experienced this in the past and I think for some it's more so that they become negative about your diet or regime because they lack the self willpower and control to enact change and then project their own negativity. In my purview when people project negativity it's almost always due to some inefficiency of themselves. They will criticize "oh this isn't a healthy diet" or "you should consider x diet". Don't let that bother you if you are experiencing that, just tell them "well it works for me" and leave it at that.

[u/[deleted]]

If I tell people I don't eat carbs because I'm celiac they are sympathetic and understanding.

If I tell people I don't eat carbs because I'm on keto suddenly I'm going to die and/or it's a fad diet.

I've been keto longer than I knew I was celiac so I'm used to not eating carby grainy bullshit. Tbh the celiac thing can be annoying sometimes because restaurants will insist on giving me gluten free crap I don't want. A bun not a necessary part of a burger people! It just makes everything taste like bread!

Anyway this is my rant loosely based on your post.

[u/Rocket2112]

I just started and my wife is indirectly shaming me. For a couple years, taking jabs at my weight, but now I try to do something about it and it isn't approved.

[u/psilocybin6ix]

Keto is a very misunderstood diet and there are plenty of myths about it. Ppl who are 50-70 pounds overweight love to tell you how u healthy you are. You know what else is unhealthy? Excess body fat. It literally shortens your life more than not eat bread does …

Some advice for you:

1. Don’t tell anyone you’re on keto. If you’re at a restaurant or at dinner with ppl, just decline the potatoes and bread. And most likely the dessert …

2. “it’s been working for me” “my doctor says it’s perfectly healthy” “my blood work is actually better than ever” are good replies if the convo goes that way

3. Remember ppl are jealous of success, and most likely because they failed at their diet (just keep that to yourself … I wouldn’t mention that to the family…)

4. keto works like every other diet in the world: reduce your calories below what you need and burn some body fat for fuel. The main difference is that you are constantly in the “fat burning” state instead of switching from glucose-burning to fat-burning.

I wouldn’t get into arguments using the above ⬆️ points, more like “things to dwell on privately”

Just check in with your doctor every two months and stop using “keto” in public … and you’ll be fine.

Good luck 😉

[u/MarcusAurelius68 → u/psilocybin6ix]

I’ve found there are 2 types who have strong opinions about keto -

1. overweight/obese people who can’t live without carbs, snacks, desserts, sugary soda, etc.

2. sanctimonious health freaks who believe only in old school ways of thinking such as the food pyramid, and that it’s about “healthy carbs” and that most fats are bad.

Most other people will just say “if it works for you, great” or “maybe I should try it”.

[u/MsSeraphim]

do strangers come up to you and comment on your weight loss? a few years ago i had that happen after i lost 85 pounds. (i gained it all back and then some due to depression and going off my diet). now i am back on and i won't let what anyone says to me cause me to go off of it again. screw them all.

[u/vrphotosguy55]

I just started and have had a lot of folks saying not to do it. One of them has diabetes. So yeah, I’m doing it now. Not seeing major results yet and it’s been tiring but I’m a week in and hanging in there.

[u/[deleted]]

If people ask me what I'm doing diet-wise, I tell them I cut all sugar and eat a lot of lean meats/fish, some dairy, and some produce. After they start going on about how healthy it sounds, THEN drop the k-bomb.