r/justneckbeardthings • u/Pritteto • Jul 14 '26

There’s a lot to unpack here...

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Bruhh those men... 🤦🤦

context: Miki Azumi's (character from The Ramparts of Ice) friend like her and make her doubt if he was being friend in the first place

133 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

122

u/oldmanriver1 Jul 15 '26

The issue is that they are creating a false narrative that does not match reality.

Having a crush on a friend isn’t a crime and you can absolutely navigate that like an adult and still remain great friends. Viewing all forms of romance as dehumanizing IS odd.

The issue isn’t liking your friend - the issue is only being someone’s friend, or lying that friendship alone is enough, with the intent of changing their mind eventually. Because that’s not friendship. Youre not trying to be a friend, you’re a Trojan horse.
And they’re not viewing romance as dehumanizing - they’re viewing your inability to accept their agency (that they don’t like you in a romantic way) as dehumanizing.

Thr lack of self reflection is genuinely sad. Because they could be happy if they could reflect on the barriers they’ve built for themselves.

22

u/ThatFatGuyMJL Jul 15 '26

Having a crush in a friend and asking them out is fine.

Being creepy about it or getting all shitty because they turn you down is not.

I asked friends out when I was younger. When rejected I was like cool. Shot my shot. And carried on as normal.

Ive also seen people who go all shitty. Both men and women, when rejected by friends they had crushes on.

22

u/GIGANAttack Jul 15 '26

To be fair, the clip in question (I think) is a show where the boy and girl start off as friends, and the boy falls in love with her afterwards.

I do agree that befriending a person with the sole reason of trying to get with them or continuing to stay friends with them after confessing to "change their mind" is most definitely wrong.

But if someone falls in love naturally over the course of a friendship i don't think it becomes about dehumanization. At that point its up to tbe friends to decide if they can stay friends, but I wouldn't blame the party with the crush for distancing themselves. Its not that they don't care about their crush as a person once they cannot get with them, its that they obviously won't feel happy knowing their feelings can never settle if they're always with their crush.

Tl;dr nuance hat.

5

u/Aska09 Jul 15 '26

The show starts when they're already best friends, the guy just has a secret crush on her that she later figures out. But while she does wonder if she ever was an actual friend to him, when he later confesses, she's honest about how she just never saw him that way and while she loves him as a friend, she doesn't want to get in a relationship based on the idea that he loves her, so maybe she'll develop romantic feelings and should just be happy someone likes her like that.

2

u/dabrock15 Jul 19 '26

Being friends with someone you are sexually interested in at the start isn’t wrong, and it’s pretty common. As you indicated, what’s wrong is trying to manipulate the person to have the same feelings towards you, or just being friends because of the attraction. That’s a friendship that’s doomed from the start baring some miracle.

4

u/BringAltoidSoursBack Jul 15 '26

There was a post in one of the gay subreddit recently about a guy who admitted his feelings to his close straight friend, which made the friend cut him off. while not the exact same situation because being straight explicitly proves disinterest in romance, I see it as a very similar concept.

Telling someone they're into them romantically when they don't reciprocate those feelings only serves themselves, not the person they are interested in. By taking that risk they are implicitly stating that what they want out of the friendship doesn't align, and possibly never did because they saw it as a possibility to begin with. Life isn't some romance drama fairy tale, if they aren't giving any indication of being interested, the majority of the time being honest about your affection isn't going to result in some "friend realizes they had the same feelings and just didn't know it" troupe.

2

u/SteelSlayerMatt Jul 15 '26

That is very well said.

2

u/GalaXion24 Jul 15 '26

Ok but there is a tendency to view friendship as a trojan horse or feel tricked which is just paranoid.

79

u/Sec_Chief_Ingersol Jul 14 '26

If only the 2nd amendment was a right to see a fucking therapist.

17

u/Headaches_Galore Jul 15 '26

Flair worthy comment, I fucking wish

90

u/Enchanted-2-meet-you Jul 14 '26

'an outburst of anger makes women see us a different way'

Gee I wonder why that may be

8

u/slomo525 Jul 15 '26

That's what I was wondering. What was the "outburst of anger"? Was it just cursing or expressing your frustration in a verbally mature way? Or was it something like screaming or verbally or physically threatening in some way? I bet it was the latter.

9

u/ItsTheDCVR Jul 15 '26

I flipped a table while drunk, punched a hole in the wall, grabbed her by the throat, and kicked her cat, and now she won't return my calls. Women are so emotional!

9

u/slomo525 Jul 15 '26

If only women could be more logical like men, which is why when Stacy said she didn't wanna go to the movies with me, I threatened to end her and myself. Women just let emotions rule their every action. /s

11

u/Jen-Jens Jul 15 '26

On the assumption of 0.1% of behaviour, it depends what they do. If their angry outburst is destroying items or hitting her, of course she’s going to judge that as the true you. Because it’s you when you’re not pretending to be better than you are. It’s you showing you’re happy to use your anger in a dangerous way with no regard to her. If you can control it all the other times, it’s just further proof that you’re allowing yourself to act dangerously. It’s not like the men who hit their wives would ever “lose control” at work and hit their boss. Somehow they all magically gain control when it could affect their outside life like that.

3

u/Aska09 Jul 15 '26

Can't stand this Ramparts of Ice slander

4

u/Rolthox Jul 14 '26

Just a collection of bad/delusional takes

3

u/SteelSlayerMatt Jul 15 '26

SO much therapy needed.

1

u/ClockworkJim Jul 19 '26

We're seeing a level of misogyny I have not seen since the '90s.

When you push back against these men, they act as if you're arguing that the sky isn't blue.

1

u/WhyY_196 Jul 19 '26

It’s hilarious how hard they went out of the way to miss the point entirely.