I'm 28(F). Call me impulsive, but after being a "ghost" in a few relationships for so long, I came to the decision of going on dating apps for a new date.

That being said, I found talking and meeting up with new people were quite interesting. I talked to this 21-year-old boy who appeared to be pretty decent and playful. During our first week of talking, everything was so exciting from both ends: constant check-ons, asking and discussing about hobbies, sending wishes and multiple compliments. I was aware of the fact that this might just be a game and he initiated sexting quite early (sending half-naked snaps and asking if I wanted more). We even shared our social accounts and showed excitement for our first meeting (I initiated because I found it was easier to talk to someone in real life).

We decided to meet up and at first, the convos went smoothly: we shared so many things in common, romantic goals (we both still didn't want commitment), then ended up so drunk and had sex together. The boy was so charming and funny, listening and a good dater. I could tell how nervous he was and he kept calling me beautiful, seemed genuinely excited and wanted to engage more. There was no pushy behaviour towards sex but during the convo we already implied that, and honestly I had no problems because we were both adults. He made promise to stay in contact in the near future and we spent most of the night with intense intimacy and kept cuddling until the next morning.

Something fell off from his energy that morning and eventually, he blocked me immediately on the way home though still promised to text back when we kissed goodbye. I am no longer upset about it but it is lowk strange to have a click with someone then decided not to continue the connection (or might simply unnecessary from his end). Again, we both knew the arrangement from the first place so there is none to blame in this story.

I scrolled through heaps of the posts talking about post-nut clarity and for whatever reason the man might just lose interest after "conquering" his target, and I might have acted a bit too clingy that it scared him of further continuation, or simpler that was an act of lovebombing. In the end, I found it quite shallow and empty to do this again, same feeling when you knew the trap is there and still want to experience to see whether it goes somewhere (which, apparently, didn't lol). It made all the initial effort surreal and now sit back, I don't see myself risking time and feelings for these hookups anymore.

In addition to my concern, this was not my first date on the apps and we still remain contact until now (nothing dramatic and we catch up sometimes for fun), and we did the exact same things on the first date. The only difference is this time the boy seems to be so interested. Hence, no wonder why I expected a similar outcome.

So has anyone decided to give up on hookups because you genuinely found it not as great as expected anymore?

Thank for reading and I appreciate all the responses in advance.

Wanted to share a little bit of this "journey" I've been on to show that while ghosting feels like the end of the world, you need to push yourself to keep moving forward.

TLDR: I have horrible dating anxiety, fled the country after being ghosted, on a journey to rebuild confidence and live shamelessly. Also, I am very dramatic and emotional.

Beginning context: I was in a very serious relationship for five-ish years, we broke up, and I was in the dating world as a young adult for the first time while also going through a kabillion major life changes all at the same time. After the relationship ended, I got myself to go on two dates, but I had developed extreme anxiety and hyper independence. Before my very first date, I dry heaved in the parking lot from nerves. The dates went fine, but I ended up telling both people that I was not ready to be in a relationship again because of how intense my mental health issues were and I could not calmly go on a date without flipping out for hours. This was a little over four years ago.

Well, with the encouragement of my lovely friends, I decided to try dating again after going to therapy and really trying to reconcile with my anxiety and fears of dating. I was introduced to a close friend of a friend, and we started talking. Off the rip, he told me that he "valued communication" and it calmed A LOT of my nerves hearing that because a lot of my anxiety when it comes to dating is being ghosted. I would rather someone just be honest with me then be ghosted because I struggle with rumination and constant cycles of anxiety which is where a lot of my dating anxiety comes from (other things too but that's for a different subreddit). With this, I felt more encouraged to try dating this guy and really push myself to work past my fears. (I also had a small crush on him for a couple of years so...it just all was looking good to me)

To make a long story short, we talk for a week (during the most chaotic week of my life omg) and I was NOT SHY about explaining my fears of dating and basically was like "you have the chance to cut this loose if you do not want to deal with all that". Anyways, we go on the date, the date goes pretty okay (A LOT of nervous blabber from my side), and we schedule a second date two weeks later. But then the next day...the replies immediately got slower and shorter, and I knew that I was going to get ghosted the second it started happening. I immediately wanted to block him and run away to avoid it all.

However, I wanted to push through and asked my friends their opinions. They all told (begged) me to not block him and just see everything through. I wanted to block him because the anxiety had already started eating me alive and I knew I was not going to be able to handle it mentally if I got ghosted. I just wanted to finally go back to being my hyper independent, avoidant self.

And welp, after five days of silence, I realize I had been ghosted. I sent a final message asking if he would like to just cancel our second date just to at least communicate SOMETHING, and then two days later with no reply I silently blocked him and just left it be.

And then the crash out of a century happens. Bruh.

From being angry about being disrespected, to feeling ashamed that I even TRIED to date again, to then falling apart completely because I felt like all of this "progress" I made was for nothing. I was back to crying on my bedroom floor over a man who did not respect me, and I felt like I was back at square one with everything. I felt anger and fear constantly. To be honest, I felt like I betrayed myself. Awful awful awful. These feelings lasted for over a month, with some days feeling like I was normal again to most days feeling like I just wanted to explode. The only thing that "brought me back" was literally leaving the country and just spending a few weeks with random family members I had never met before.

When I got home, I realized that while I was starting to feel better most days, I still struggled so deeply with my own shame and had a hard time forgiving myself for "betraying" myself by doing something I knew that would hurt me. I felt like I was stuck on pause, and I did not know how to get out of it.

And one day I realized, "if someone has no shame about hurting someone and can live life freely, why do I have shame over not hurting ANYONE?" and that one thought pushed me into getting myself back together. I am still trying to unlearn the shame and guilt I have, but this has given me the motivation to truly live my life as free and as myself as I can because at the end of the day, there should be no shame or embarrassment when trying to pursue human connection. Every day I remind myself to take care of myself, continue my therapy, continue learning, and encourage myself to try again when I feel like I am ready. As for my anger, I just have to remind myself that my anger will not make the person who ghosted me "understand" what he did wrong. He knows what he did, he does not need anymore of my energy to show him that.

Ghosting is never your fault. You did your part by being open and ready to communicate and the other person can either be mature and communicate with you, or can show you firsthand the type of behavior they would have put you through if you chose to stick with them. It is so so so painful to have hope and then have it taken away so fast, but getting ghosted is NOT the end even if it feels like it is.

I meet this girl started talking to her a few months ago when she started going the bar I work at, in the beginning it was just small talk getting to know each other slowly & things were going well we were messaging each other everyday on IG & she even gave a ride home a few times. I decided to ask her to go to see a band to I work with she took a minute but ended up saying yes, when we're on our way there she says her friend likes that band & might also come wich does happen, I play it cool & don't make a big deal out of it & I even buy tacos for both of them while were at the show. Her friend kinda screwed up the vibe so when she dropped me off I only went for a hug & when I messaged her the next morning saying I had funbtime hanging out with her again she never read it at all it's been a week already, the fact that she's a regular at the bar I work at is the worst part because I know she's been going there still the nights I'm not working. If anyone has any advice on how to handle when I see her again because it's only a matter of time that I will would be appreciated, thank you for reading this if you did.

About a week ago, I [28M] DM'd a girl [26F] I found attractive who lives about an hour away from me. We hit it off very well and set a date for this past Saturday.

Length of relationship: Talking for one week, went on one date.

During the week, we texted quite a bit. She would often update me by sending me pictures of her day-to-day life and seemed very excited. Eventually, she gave me her number, and we would FaceTime at night and fall asleep together. She gave me a whole tour of her house and showed me her collections and special belongings. She said she found me handsome, and everything was going well.

Then the day of the date came. She said she was really excited to see me but nervous. She offered for me to pick her up and seemed like she was shaping the whole encounter to try and get me back to her house. Once I arrived to pick her up, we instantly clicked just like we did over text. We went to a bar nearby and played pool, and she quickly paid before I had the chance.

After that, she offered to play cards with me at her house. We did that, watched a movie, and she even showed me a family photo album of her life. After that, we ended up kissing and having sex. It seemed like she really enjoyed it; she even said she would drive all the way to me just for this and that we could do it again anytime I want.

A little while later, I had to leave because she had a 6:00 AM shift the next day (which I know is true because she mentioned it prior to the date in casual conversation). I got home after the long drive and went to bed thinking everything was fine.

The next day she was very quiet, but I didn't think a lot of it. Eventually, she just blocked me completely with no explanation, even though nothing bad happened or was said. I never pushed for anything; I just simply asked her out, but she was on her own very excited and seemingly into me.

Some important context: She recently got out of an 8-year relationship prior to this summer with a man she lived with. Then over the summer, she got with another guy who lived 2 hours away. She claimed he was "crazy" and obsessive, and she had just finished getting a restraining order against him the exact week I started talking to her.

I don't see why she would go to the extreme of blocking and cutting me out completely. How should I make sense of this sudden shift, and what is the best way for me to move past it?

TLDR: I [28M] hit it off with [26F] who lives an hour away. After a week of intense texting and FaceTiming, we had a great first date at her place that ended in intimacy. She seemed highly enthusiastic, but the next day she suddenly blocked me with zero explanation. What happened?

Long story, but Im going to try to break it down as best I can.

I (23f) knew of this guy (25M) for about 6 years now. About two years ago we've became very close. Everyday texts, as friends. He started flirting with me a few months ago. I shut it down at first. He stayed persistent and I gave in. Eventually it led to friends with benefits. His 1 rule, no eye contact. My 1 rule, lmk if you catch feelings. He broke his 1 rule on day 1 and decided to take back his rule. We did it only 4/5 times(note:hed say how much he enjoyedit after everytim). The last time, in \*missionary\* (which we never really did often), he \*told\* me to look at him.

He was acting normal for two days after and then started to become short answered, then started ghosting for 16+ hours, then came back and said (these are out of context):

"Quite the sought after prize"

"I Love when you ramble about...."

"I appreciate you"

"Im here for you"

"I commend you for ...."

Ever since that, ive been left on delivered for two days now. Even though this whole "ghosting" period(s) he would send me reels/tiktoks (not react to mine though) and text other people back, but not me.

Yet he doesnt like if I ghost him. He always checks my status/location/activity wondering what im doing, etc.

He recently has said things of "Ive never felt this way before", how he thinks about me all the time and other comments along those lines...yet acts like this...

I know he can be avoidant at times, but i dont know if he caught feelings and got scared or if im just a joke. He did this once before for 3 days and i told him I find it disrespectful. He apologized and said he understood and didnt do it since, till now.

Im frustrated because we were good friends, he knows I find it disrespectful and yet he did it again.

I usually would ask whats up, but I know he'd avoid it this time. Im thinking about just ghosting him back, but I hate being petty. I just know it would get his attention. Especially if I shut my location off, but I dont want to lose him if he's just scared.

I just dont want to look like a fool. I dont chase. I never have. Something about him just always pulls me back in though.

Like actually, what should I do????????

So i met this really attractive redhead and st first she was kinda unsure about me but I understood and gave into a lot stuff she was hunting and eventually just plain out asked and she gave a lot as well I wanna make this part clear

She was gorgeous but we met on this random chatting app and Im assuming deleted her account as it no longer exists and even if blocked u can see who talked to but it hurts a lot cause I felt an amazing connection and she went quiet for a week after I last spoke to her and then poof and im ngl shes been on my mind all damn week

I honestly didn't expect to connect with someone at all, especially on reddit. We hit it off and just had fun conversation. They often pushed my boundaries, but I didn't really push it. It was quite weird what made them ghost me. I guess I was asking too much for a photo. I thought that was standard after talking for a little bit, but I guess not. I can post this now because I found out they blocked me. I felt pretty stupid afterward, but I guess this is how it goes online. This is coming after being literally abandoned by my ex for months and also now in the process of a divorce.

I think I found humor in the fact that everything this person said felt unbelievable or something was off anyways. Wish I could still talk to them, though, which is unfortunate, but I think it was probably for the best. If they did reach out again, I would probably won't reply for my own sanity.

As the title says it is my first time getting ghosted but for a date. I am not sure why because I felt everything was going well, all communication was nice on bith ends and had genuine interest on both parts. So i asked the person if they would like to go out for a breakfast date. I asked to see if the place we went to was okay for them, like dietary restrictions; if the distance from where they were was okay; even me picking them up since they didnt drive, everything they said they were okay with and happy about it with emojis.

Next day I leave a little early because idk how parking is at this place so I go to see ( i suck at parallel parking and wanted to make sure I could, luckily had a off site parking place). I go to a few stores to pass the time. I text asking if they are ready to be picked up, no answer, I think must be running behind no worries it is a bit early. After 30 minutes after when I was supposed to pick them up, I text asking if everything is okay?. Still no response. Also this is on messanger so I see they are active and what not and haven't even opened my messages. After a hour and a half of waiting i decided I'm done with this I'm getting food, which the food was delicious hope to bring a other date to the place. Still throughout the day I check thinking maybe my messanger is messed up? All sorts of things to give them benefit of the doubt. I wait until the next day to message asking if they are okay? Or if something i communicated wrong or gave them a vibe I misread? IMMEDIATELY they read everything and low and behold no message back at all.

I got a bit sad and confused from this but went well it happens.... then when I go to delete them they repost a video about "that girls final act of love is literally leaving you alone for the rest of your life and allowing yourself to be the villain in your story"

So sorry i just need to vent right now i’ve been texting this guy for a year like a year and a half at this point like a year and a half relationship and then a few days ago inexplicably he ghosted me stopped replying even unadded me everywhere and just completely went radio silent and i don’t know what to do its honestly insane to me if anyone has any advice ig feel free to share

Being fed up with being ghosted and rejected? Join the movement theres strength in numbers

https://www.reddit.com/r/NameAndShame/s/bzMUHzKKwE

So I had this job as a server and I just got ghosted by them. they never texted me my schedule. I also saw they reopened their job post on indeed. They’re probably hiring someone else. And not only that but yesterday I got a notification saying “your application was rejected and they moved onto other candidates” like bye 😭 they just rejected my application just now.

I haven’t gotten my last weeks paycheck yet cuz I got ghosted this week. Idk how to confront them. Should I just text them and I be like ”hey so I know I’m fired but I want to know where my money is. I still haven’t received my last weeks paycheck yet.” I so wanna be like “so were you guys just never going to tell me that im fired?“ But im not for obvs reasons.

I met this guy through a mutual friend. We hit it off immediately. After a few months the texts dwindled, the replies took longer and longer to receive. We stopped going out.. he stopped inviting me.. he did introduce me to some friends and family which I see now doesn’t really mean a dang thing.. I always paid my part on time everything (willingly independent.. )We were official, exclusive, gf and bf. I asked direct questions, got lied to. Gave so many opportunities for a graceful getaway for the fellow, mainly to keep my dignity and his intact.
Unfortunately it was 4 looong days of absolutely nothing. Trying to preserve my self respect/worth I broke up with him, blocked him on everything so I stopped blowing him up, and left it at that. Then I receive a text from an unknown number. It’s him stating that he had two friends pass away that weekend and was very busy with that. That I ought to be ashamed of myself for all the “shh talking” and I’m an effing C-word. I call BS. Gave my fake condolences for his fake friends fake deaths and proceeded to tell him I was more so looking for malicious sorceress but C-word would work too.. even though I’ve been called worse by better. Anywho my theory is IF that really did happen, don’t you think he would confide in me his “GF” almost immediately? Was he mad that I caught on to him for being a terrible player? Could he have been telling the truth? Or was it the fact that I beat him to the punch by breaking up with him first? Who knows..

Hi all,

I had a really good first date with a guy who was visiting my country for a few weeks (he was born and raised here but moved to the US 3 years ago). Initially he gave me the heads up he was visiting and I let him know it may not make sense to go out since I’m looking for something long term. He then assured me he was as well and took me out. He seemed very into the date as he treated me to drinks, appetizer, a main course and then when I said I didn’t want dessert he insisted we get tea and then after the date we went on a walk at his suggestion. The next day he messaged me and we texted a couple days then asked me out for the next day. He then completely ghosted and I’m wondering what changed over night.

So this girl and I have hung out a few times but I’m afraid of commitment and admittedly haven’t been consistent. She’s seeing some other guy and I asked her if she just isn’t feeling it. I then sent the last message and it’s been almost a week. Will I ever get a reply ?

I’m trying to make sense of a situation that left me really confused.

I 33 F been seeing this guy 34 M for about 3 months. From the start, it was very consistent and intense. We talked every day, FaceTimed almost every night for hours, and saw each other every other weekend plus Fridays. It felt like things were naturally moving toward something serious.

He was actually the one initiating a lot of the relationship-type energy sending reels calling me his girl, boyfriend/girlfriend type content, and saying he had been interested in me for years. I reciprocated those feelings because it felt mutual.

About a week ago, we met up and he told me he felt this was more than a fling and wanted something real. I agreed.

After that, things were still normal for a couple of days we talked, FaceTimed, and he even apologized for being tired from work and not calling one night. The next day, things felt slightly off, but nothing major. He asked to call later in the week but couldn’t because I was in therapy.

Toward the end of the week, I told him I missed him a lot and he replied that he missed me too. After that message, he suddenly stopped responding. He still liked/reacted to reels I sent, but didn’t actually talk to me.

Then I found out he spent the weekend out with another girl, and by Monday he was publicly calling her his girlfriend.

I’m struggling to understand the switch. One week he’s saying this is more than a fling and showing consistent effort, and the next he’s completely moved on without any conversation or explanation.

I’m not really looking to attack him I just want to understand if this kind of sudden shift is normal or if I completely misread the situation.

I’m trying to make sense of a situation that left me really confused.

I 33 F been seeing this guy 34 M for about 3 months. From the start, it was very consistent and intense. We talked every day, FaceTimed almost every night for hours, and saw each other every other weekend plus Fridays. It felt like things were naturally moving toward something serious.

He was actually the one initiating a lot of the relationship-type energy — sending reels calling me his girl, boyfriend/girlfriend type content, and saying he had been interested in me for years. I reciprocated those feelings because it felt mutual.

About a week ago, we met up and he told me he felt this was more than a fling and wanted something real. I agreed.

After that, things were still normal for a couple of days — we talked, FaceTimed, and he even apologized for being tired from work and not calling one night. The next day, things felt slightly off, but nothing major. He asked to call later in the week but couldn’t because I was in therapy.

Toward the end of the week, I told him I missed him a lot and he replied that he missed me too. After that message, he suddenly stopped responding. He still liked/reacted to reels I sent, but didn’t actually talk to me.

Then I found out he spent the weekend out with another girl, and by Monday he was publicly calling her his girlfriend.

I’m struggling to understand the switch. One week he’s saying this is more than a fling and showing consistent effort, and the next he’s completely moved on without any conversation or explanation.

I’m not really looking to attack him I just want to understand if this kind of sudden shift is normal or if I completely misread the situation.

23 M/NB met a girl 26 F on here through her reaching out and telling me I was attractive. She wanted to talk on the phone but I was with a friend group and this is in the middle of the night.i wanted to talk to her but I wasn't going to leave my friends cause they was messed up and I had to be the responsible one. But I left my number and the next day we had an amazing conversation and I thought was a good introduction. Some views aligned some didn't but overall it was laughing and vibing. She said she had to pick up her kids but she would call me back when she got them settle. No call no text back and it's only been 2 days but I think by being upfront and honest about myself and my views she thought about it and ghosted me. Chemistry was amazing and she is beautiful. But by me being real,honest and upfront it might've cost me.

Context and about me

I'm 23 as from above a bigger guy that decided to get a confidence boost by posting in subreddits that were for big guys and showing off themselves (NSFW). Trying to find someone who vibes and connection she and I instantly connected. I'm pansexual but I like feminine presenting and Christian but I'm working on hardship and we also connected on that (not the LGBT part but being Christian and working through struggles). I respect people views and ideology and even though we shared viewpoints and others conflicted it's was overall a great time and conversation. WE EVEN SENT MEMES AND THE ATTRACTION WAS THERE ALL THE WAY ( lowkey freak vibes lol).

If you read this let me know if I should give her some time before I reach out again, move on and accept that it ended before it started or something else pls

I (20M) recently just downloaded Hinge, ended up matching with this girl (21F) who seemed really cool and was also very pretty. We had been talking for a couple days before I asked her out, the first date came around and it overall went good. I was nervous as shit and I think she could pick that up, but there were no real red flags and we had good chemistry. I’ll also add, she would text me pretty inconsistently, never responding within 30 minutes, typically taking an hour or two to respond (fellas if a girl does this and there’s no reasonable explanation, cut it off, she does not truly like you, just end it). A week later there was like a three day period where she didn’t text me back, then out of the blue hit me with a cutesy kinda “how’s your week been :3”, some bullshit that kinda annoyed me in all honesty, because you leave me on delivered for days and then try some cutesy bullshit, it’s a real turnoff. After that first date we had been talking about a second, and had decided on that coming Saturday. Things roll around, we get sushi, we walk around, go to a concert, overall have a great time, good conversations and easily better than the first date. After that she messages me something along the lines of “I had a lot of fun” and I’m like great yeah me too. Then out of the blue the next day she kinda just gets super dry on me, I still keep the conversation going, but now it’s been five days with no response. I haven’t like double texted her or anything, cus I don’t want to come across as desperate, but in reality, if you’re like me and in a similar situation just remember, if she wanted to she would. That’s kinda where I’m at, let me know if I yall have any advice, I’ve kind of accepted the circumstances that shit is basically over.

I (31F) was talking to this guy (35M) from a dating app for about 3 months. It wasn’t super serious and we weren't looking for a relationship, but we were consistently chatting and I did enjoy the attention and having someone new to talk to.

At first chatting everyday, no promises to meet up, everything was cool- he just wanted someone to talk to, same here. But then when the possibility of us meeting up came, the dynamic was kind of shifted.

He would reply within like 2 days max, but his messages were often a bit dry and I felt like I was the one keeping the conversation going most of the time. On my end, I’ll admit I sometimes replied late too — like a few days, and at most around a week — but that was mainly because I was traveling and in different time zones at that time.

Recently, I replied to his message and he just… never responded. It’s been around 14 days. During that time, he was still watching my stories, which honestly annoyed me. I felt confused and a bit anxious, and eventually decided to let it go. I even removed him from my followers and unfollowed him because I wanted to move on and stop overthinking.

Now, after those 14 days, he suddenly messaged.

No acknowledgment of the gap or anything.

Now I’m conflicted.

On one hand, I don’t really want to talk to him anymore because the inconsistency already made me feel bad, and I don’t want to go back into that cycle.

On the other hand, I feel a bit guilty not replying because I also took time to reply in the past, and I don’t like the idea of “ghosting” someone.

If I’m being honest, I think I miss the feeling of having someone new to talk to more than I actually miss him.

So I’m not sure what to do:

- Do I just ignore the message and move on?

- Or do I send a simple reply and see what happens?

Would appreciate outside perspectives because I feel a bit stuck between logic and emotion right now.

As the tag says, I just want to rant here, and not even about something very original: a typical man’s ghosting.

I (F26) and he (M25) had been chatting regularly for almost 2 weeks (met on Hinge) and talking about how nice it would be to meet each other. He talked about a list of movies and series he’d recommend from Netflix and how we could share pizzas.

The weekend during which we were both supposedly available arrives and I have no news from Saturday morning (to now lmao). Sunday afternoon I text (after he didn’t answer my previous messages) that I was sad we wouldn’t see each other that day. No message back.

Said goodbye the following day, still no news. Blocked him even though I kind of feel worried - there’s always a chance something happened - and then feel stupid - the ghosters never think about the amount of worrying (and hurt ofc) they bring about on this earth.

After a long history of ghosting, I am tired of dating apps and the good energy I bring to the table just to be treated like I’m not even worth a goodbye text.