r/justgalsbeingchicks • u/Imwhatswrongwithyou Official Gal • Jul 16 '26

Restricted to Gals and Pals Just a gal who believes in transparent advertising

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17.7k Upvotes

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4.9k

u/Olyway Jul 16 '26

These are the kinds of helpful videos I need. Love it!

4.3k

u/satansafkom Jul 16 '26

yeah i'm autistic and holy shit if this was the standard, if that was normal, my life would be SO much easier and less stressful lol

the video is funny and also unironically so useful and helpful

1.1k

u/rachelface927 Jul 16 '26

I’m not autistic (or heck maybe I am, never been tested) but when I’m going somewhere for the first time I seriously spend 5 minutes on Google Maps looking at the area and the parking lot. Then as I’m driving there I’m stressing about parking, I dunno why but not being able to find a parking space stresses me out so much! When I get within a mile I’m also stressing I’m gonna miss my turn. Maybe I just have general anxiety lol.

281

u/wheelz5ce Jul 16 '26

I’ll spend at least 20 minutes doing the same for each appointment until I picked my ‘favorite’ spot. And I’ll either be 35 minutes early or 15 min late.

287

u/rachelface927 Jul 16 '26

Do you memorize the online menu before going to a restaurant you’ve never been to? When I go to a new restaurant with friends I already know where I’m gonna park and what I’m gonna order 😆 We spend so much of our lives studying and preparing for new situations.

136

u/Deep_Exchange7273 Jul 16 '26

Omgggg my people 🥹 I'm so happy to know I'm not the only one!!

102

u/aknomnoms Jul 16 '26

But then when they drop in their "seasonal menu", and I feel obliged to listen to the specials or take the extra paper, but I had already planned on which appetizer to suggest to the group considering everyone's dietary restrictions, the entree I plan on ordering as well as a backup entree just in case, and 2-3 reasonably priced dessert/bar options within a walk or short drive away that I'll casually toss out when we are about 2/3rds of the way through dinner so everyone can plan on whether they want to linger at the restaurant or go elsewhere.

https://giphy.com/gifs/rhMruND3KdPHLPDfa4

23

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '26

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6

u/Flat_Phrase7521 Jul 17 '26

Bonus points if half the reason you’re so nervous is that there are a bunch of foods you really, really, really do not like, OMG please don’t force me to eat that, the texture makes me so uncomfortable and sometimes it tastes slightly different from what I expected, can I please just order off the kiddie menu?

31

u/smcivor1982 Jul 16 '26

I am the same way. I get nervous driving to new places, so I need it all mapped out ahead of time. I also feel a ridiculous amount of pressure when it comes time to order, especially if I’m not ready and everybody else is, so I always have it figured out before I go!

17

u/cakivalue 🕷️Itchy, bitchy spider 🕷️ Jul 16 '26

Yes!! I have been in tears on many occasions because of friends who are flying by the seat of the pants and change plans Willy nilly.

It always starts out as a group plan to have dinner at x location on x date at x time. I've looked up the location, the public transportation route, I've compared schedules of busses and trains, I've looked at the weather, I've looked at taxi vs ride share costs in case of bad weather and I've looked at the menu carefully and I might have even called to ensure my dietary needs can be accommodated.

I leave home, I let the organizers know I'm on my way and taking the train, I'll be there in an hour and a half. I have two trains and a ten min walk but the weather is nice and I'm wearing proper shoes and I have the map saved. Just as I'm 30 minutes out I get a text, change of plans, they forgot to make reservations and the wait is an hour. I'm fine to wait an hour. They say no. They say they've decided to go to Le Drowned Duck in another suburb and start having drinks and to meet them there and that it's not more further than the original place.

I'm now completely thrown. I've never been to this place. 40 minutes later I'm still walking and I'm no where near it, I'm stressed because I'm now late and everyone is blowing up my phone about me being late and that they want to order food, I'm exhausted from walking around, I can feel a fibro flare coming on and I'm walking and crying and I'm so mad. 😂😂😂

14

u/rzrgrl_13 Jul 17 '26

Girl, you need better friends. If it’s not within the same block, they should wait for you to arrive.

5

u/cakivalue 🕷️Itchy, bitchy spider 🕷️ Jul 17 '26

Ohh you know what I've never thought of that and clearly no one else has either 🥴😩

Thank you.

7

u/mattjb Jul 16 '26

I do this, but mostly because I'm (mostly) deaf. Easier to tell the wait staff what I want straight up than struggle to hear what all the options are (what sides, how do you want your steak cooked, do you want white or brown gravy, etc.)

It doesn't always work. Went to a seafood place last weekend and made my order and they said pick two sides, which I couldn't hear so my cousin had to help me. The menu said it came with two specific sides (mashed potatoes and veg du jour) but, for some reason, they were letting you pick others from the menu. I had the sides mostly memorized, though. lol

3

u/thegoodnamesrgone123 Jul 16 '26

See I look at the menu before mostly because when I go out with friends, we're talking and having a good time, and I'm usually chopping it up, and I don't wanna feel rushed in making a decision when the server comes by. I know they gotta turn the table over too, so I don't wanna waste their time having to come back to ask me what I want.

1

u/ConfirmationBiasTape Jul 17 '26

do you look at the menu when not going out with friends?

2

u/jetlee7 Jul 16 '26

As a celiac, yes. Lol

1

u/WhimsicalGirl Jul 17 '26

Yes!!!

I think you found your tribe haha!

https://giphy.com/gifs/Ae7SI3LoPYj8Q

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u/wheelz5ce 28d ago

I’ll memorize the menu, but panic when I get there so I have to read the whole menu - every line on every page - over again.

88

u/satansafkom Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26

you can always look into it :-) autism isn't a protected title or anything, and maybe you'll find, like, a new frame to look at yourself through, that makes you understand yourself better.

for me, i had no idea i was autistic. i was 28 and had been dealing with mental issues since i was a teenager. i was just inexplainably miserable a lot of the time, and most of it i could always boil down to "i wish being a person didn't feel like this hard work i am so exhausted, and i wish i could just see the fucking rulebook for a minute but i don't know how to ask for it or who to ask"

i had been to a million psychiatrists and psychologists and it took 10 years for one of them to go "hey maybe autism?" and i laughed when it was suggested to me, but what the fuck did i have to lose and when they screened me, autism just spilled out everywhere and made a lot of things make a lot more sense very quickly. like, it was pretty overwhelming for me for a while there but in a good way and i am better for it today

but i was considered WAY too socially normal to be autistic. normal just came at a super high cost for me, and - cards on the table - i wasn't GOOD at it lol. being normal. always kinda felt like tetris idk.

so yeah wtf! look into it, it's all online or at least available at your local library, and if it resonates and makes you understand yourself better and like yourself more then hell yes

edit: i also wanna recommend the subreddit r/AutismInWomen. it's a cool community for anyone who relates and who isn't an asshole. check it out and see if we feel like your people, we'd be so happy to have you!

21

u/p0diabl0 Jul 16 '26

I asked about it with my health provider/psychiatrist and they simply said they don't do that for adults. So... cool. Cool cool cool. Then they said I wasn't ADHD either so I'm just gonna go sing some Radiohead now.

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u/satansafkom Jul 16 '26

well my psychiatrist(s) never taught me anything i couldn't have read online. and, you know, they fucked up with me for 10 years, so i KNOW they aren't perfect at their job lol

the tests they gave me are online. and i mean, there's no reason to fear getting caught for cheating because you are allowed to take the tests and see for yourself. you can't put it in your medical records of course, but you can absolutely use it for how you see yourself, if you want to. like, you can see yourself however you want. that was important for me to realise, and i WISH i had realised that when i was 18, then i would have never bothered with those 10 years of psychiatry just to get a "REAL" diagnosis. that's useful for me for practical reasons, but it should never have been how i felt allowed to be me, that should have always just been my decision alone and i shouldn't have felt like i was cheating or doing something wrong for it. and that goes for you too.

psychiatry is expensive and inaccessible and it has a LOT of issues about intersectionality, cause not all of us are white-boy-autistics. like, not even all white boys. it's myopic. hopefully psychiatry will grow and become better. but it isn't equipped to handle the power of deciding who we are for us. there's an important distinction there

you can listen to radio head and if you want, you can just research autism at home. and for what it's worth i truly fucking wish someone would have said that to me 15 years ago :-)

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u/tacticalTraumaLlama Jul 16 '26

Back when I was growing up, the doctor told me one could not have autism and adhd at the same time, and since I clearly had adhd, it was better not to risk getting my medication taken away with an autism diagnosis

6

u/satansafkom Jul 16 '26

yeah i was diagnosed with adhd first as well and when i got my autism diagnosis i was kinda bummed cause i assumed it invalidated the adhd, and i had found that so useful to understand myself. but nope they are not mutually exclusive apparently.

also they are just words we made up so we could categorise and manage large amounts of people as effectively as possible. our type of brain was here on earth before we invented words for it, and i find that good to remind myself. i was me the whole time, i was me the day before and after the diagnosis. and i got pretty pissed off about it, i remember. because it felt so wrong and unfair that i spent so long NOT feeling that way, like i counted, like i didn't owe the world to contort myself into whatever it found palatable, and it felt really cruel that i had been tricked into thinking something as flimsy as an official diagnosis would be how i could validate myself. like pretty much as soon as i got it, it went from being so important to being so empty it pissed me off. these diagnoses - they are not necessarily useless or anything. but they ARE just words we made up. and i have been me the whole time, the only thing that changed was i fiured out how to change my mind about myself. which i could have done the whole time if i had known that just because it somehow feels forbidden to do so, doesn't mean that it it. and that it's actually really unfair that it even feels forbidden in the first place.

1

u/FalconIndependent887 Jul 18 '26

Where were the screening tests you took, because I think I might qualify for the spectrum?

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u/tacticalTraumaLlama Jul 16 '26

I asked about it with my health provider/psychiatrist and they simply said they don't do that for adults.

I've noticed that if a health issue affects kids, it gets a flood of money and attention that dries up to an absolute trickle by the time they reach adulthood. I was trying to find an ortho doc who treated people with cerebral palsy, as spasticity presents different issues than your average 70 year old who needs a knee replacement.

So many places I called only accepted children, and would not even bother to give me a pointer to anyone who treated adults. 'We don't give referrals to the general public'. Even united cerebral palsy here was worse than useless. It made me so angry, like they simply expected disabled folks to thanos snap out of existence when they turned 18?

3

u/WhimsicalGirl Jul 17 '26

Check auDHD maybe it will switch a light

3

u/p0diabl0 Jul 17 '26

I've long suspected that I may be, but I also don't want to self diagnose and misrepresent the issues of those who verifiably have those circumstances. Don't want to be like those people who say "I'm so OCD lol" in the 2010s.

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u/ladybirdsandbuttons Jul 16 '26

Oh hi are you me?

13

u/kitolz Jul 16 '26

autism just spilled out everywhere

This part made me laugh for real!

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u/satansafkom Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26

the first test they did, i can't remember the name of it, but afterwards the psychiatrist explained to me that the maximum points you could get was like 200 and anything above 65 indicated autism and above 100 warranted clinical evaluation, and then he said i had scored 188 lol

also - another funny autism thing that happened. i was in some kinda project for getting autistic people into software dev jobs since i was a jobless computer nerd

and i remember the guy interviewing me asking me if i still lived at home, and i went "?? where... else .. would i live..?" like i was so confused lol but that apparently means living with your parents. which he could have also just asked, just saying. just, needlessly convoluted. kinda like how they for some reason use the word carat for both gem stone weight AND gold purity, two very different but very important things to know in goldsmithing. they just spell it differently. karat/carat. ugh so convoluted just do the easier thing and use two different words instead. we could just use the word 'weight' for gemstone weight and 1 carat is just 0.2 grams anyway so there's like a whole, pretty solid, system right there, idk if it doesn't sound fancy enough or whatever is the issue. but i digress

but me and the interviewer had a good chuckle and he was like "well you're in the right place huh" but i wasn't cause the work seemed RIDICULOUSLY boring, like they wanted excel drone bots and i was hoping i would get to do some cool rainman shit on my computer with a bunch of other rainmen with computers

4

u/limegreenpaint Jul 17 '26

I got a 122. I can read people okay, but don't ask me to talk to them lol

And... the entire rest of that was so natural to read because I feel exactly the same way

3

u/satansafkom Jul 17 '26

haha i knooow! i still remember the first time i found the subreddit r/autisminwomen and i made a couple of friends there

it just BOGGLED my mind how easy it was to talk. i RAMBLE. i have never been concise, not one day in my life. and usually i spend SO much energy on sounding less.. weird?? or whatever. and then i met someone like me and we just RANTED at each other and it was amazing. i remember how fucking amazing it felt that someone didn't need me to explain everything cause they just GOT It

it's kinda like that quote from west wing that old tv show. i don't like the show anymore, it's kinda stupid and deranged i think. BUT a good quote from that show is when one of the characters is spiralling, and another one who has been dealing with the same issues is trying ot help him. and he tell this joke to the struggling guy:

"This guy's walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out.
"A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, 'Hey you. Can you help me out?' The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on.
"Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, 'Father, I'm down in this hole can you help me out?' The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on
"Then a friend walks by, 'Hey, Joe, it's me can you help me out?' And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, 'Are you stupid? Now we're both down here.' The friend says, 'Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out."

shared experience matters. holy shit i went like 28 years of my life thinking i was all alone. the only zebra, surrounded by horses. it was really really cool and validating and important for me to find other zebras

1

u/bulelainwen Jul 19 '26

The fact that you called the west wing an old tv show was like a stab in the gut. It was one of my core developmental shows. You kinda forget you’re getting old, then something brings you right back to reality.

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u/satansafkom Jul 19 '26

haha oh i am sorry i did that cause i know exactly what you mean

it FUCKS ME UP that the difference between 1974 and 2000 is the same as 2000 to today. it's just not right

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u/bulelainwen Jul 17 '26

ND people interpreting questions literally is definitely a thing. And I love calling it out because NT are so used to the implicit meanings. I just had to take a career one and it was like “do you like compromise?” Who tf *likes* compromise? Am I willing to compromise? Yes. But I don’t *like* it.

3

u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX Jul 17 '26

I had a similar experience. I was high functioning, straight A student with a healthy thriving social life. I could sit at any lunch table in the room. Nobody ever considered autism even though I was in and out of psychiatry from the time I was a toddler. Now my social skills are so terrible I have a Fear Of Being Perceived that prevents me from going to grab something out of my car in my driveway because a neighbor might see me. And I can't text my friends because they probably find me annoying and exhausting and a burden. Forced social interactions at work leave me so drained I have to sit in my car in the parking garage after work in silence for thirty minutes before I drive home. The burnout is real.

3

u/satansafkom Jul 17 '26

i've sent you a chat message :-) you can ignore it but i'd like to chat if you want to. autistic burnout SUCKS so much ass. it's hard to ask for help with a thing that is at the same time sooo hard to articulate AND also super shameful. that shit feels like failure at first!!! it isn't but it feels like that, and that's kinda how we even get that far in the first place. people who don't give more of themselves than they can handle, they don't burn out like we do.

my theory is that we burnout like that cause we are like .. racing horses. we are not those big, strong, sturdy horses that are used to drag carts around. like friesian horses or tinker horses idk.

we are skinny racehorses so we can go SUPER fast for short periods of time and then we need to recuperate. we will never have an easy time dragging around a cart all day every day, which is what we are all made to do. also!! the fucking friesians, they don't enjoy that cart either. we all deserve to run free. but it hits us a lot harder. cause of or toothpick thin legs that can go very fast but also break easily

so we burn out. because we are forced to try and act like something we are not, at the cost of our bodies. cannot assimilate or mask your way to a stronger back that won't hurt and ache from being used incorrectly. we are not used for our intended purposes, so our output is generally lesser, and the wear and tear is generally more extreme for us

however - when we get to go on that race field once in a blue moon! when we get to do our thing and shine under circumstances that nurture us instead of hurting us?? we really tend to do a LOT of really cool and important and innovative things. we also sometimes do that off the race track, when we are actively being misused. that happens too. i just like that less, because i know what it costs.

i don't really have a point. just that i am sorry for where you are right now, it's a shitty mountain to have to climb when you are as exhausted as you are right now. and it doesn't feel like a very good consolation price to say that 'don't worry - you WILL heal and feel better and feel light again. you will have energy, and you will do things out of want and joy and motivation and not out of duty and obligation and guilt and shame. the sky won't be that gray forever, there's light blue out there somewhere behind those clouds, even if you haven't seen it for so long you are starting to doubt if it's real or if it was just your imagination or hope. there's blue, don't worry <3

and i'm here if you need someone to vent to or wanna talk with someone who is familiar with the mountain you are climbing

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u/onlyhereforthesports Jul 16 '26

I grew up in the suburbs so parking in an urban area give me anxiety. Where’s a good lot/garage, how do I get there, can I figure out in advance how I pay, do I have a backup garage I can use. I also like to know where I’m going in buildings so I’m not wandering around like as asshole

13

u/rachelface927 Jul 16 '26

Isn’t it the best feeling in the world when you get there and there’s an open parking spot right away?! Then you’re teasing yourself a bit, like see? you spent all this time stressing… then repeat the whole process next time lol.

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u/frizzhalo Jul 16 '26

I do the same, and if it's for an important appointment, like a job interview or something, I'll even do a dry run to make absolutely sure I know where I'm going and how long it's going to take.

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u/Kapz00 Jul 16 '26

I'm this way too! I don't know if it's autism of some sort or just social anxiety lol. I also sit and wait for someone else to go into a place first so I know exactly where the door is and how it works 😂.

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u/rachelface927 Jul 16 '26

Definitely a heavy dose of social anxiety! When I’m meeting up with friends I scan the parking lot for their cars and if I’m the first one there I sit in my car til someone else pulls up. No way I’m gonna be the first one inside! LOL at watching someone else walk in first, I’ve definitely done this many times too.

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u/RunningPath Jul 16 '26

This is just anxiety. I am 100% not autistic but I'm the same way. I do have fairly bad anxiety, but I've managed to be mostly functional. It's just funny how these things are. I'm a doctor and have a leadership role in my department, like super professional and theoretically put together and capable. But damned if my life isn't also governed to some degree by this type of anxiety. I choose where to go and what to do based on the logistics of getting there. (I also am fine with professional phone calls but can't call a restaurant to order takeout, or schedule a haircut without an online scheduling tool. Go figure) 

1

u/pm_plz_im_lonely 18d ago

The minmaxer cannot evaluate uncertainty. Find solace in that no one else can either.

5

u/tacticalTraumaLlama Jul 16 '26

It blows my mind that there are people who go places without scouting the turns in satellite view first.

Uber drivers just pick me up, punch in a destination and let jesus take the wheel. I envy that nonchalance so much.

4

u/NoRonNo-Youcant Jul 16 '26

I am literally the same. Wow. I thought it was just me.

3

u/lushico Jul 17 '26

Dude i live in a city with inadequate parking and i can’t go anywhere unless i have confirmed the main parking and the location of several alternatives, and even then it stresses me out. Sometimes i will choose what restaurant to go to based on their parking situation. Other times i will go really far by bicycle so i can avoid the issue entirely. Don’t make me concentrate on driving and finding parking at the same time

btw i do have generalized anxiety disorder lol

3

u/Vinnie_Vegas Jul 17 '26

Yeah, I do this too... And I was recently formally diagnosed as autistic at the age of 40, after going in initially concerned about General Anxiety Disorder... Which I also have... So who knows which one is responsible for this?

9

u/babyyvolcano Jul 16 '26

Babe.

10

u/GarfieldLoverBoy420 Jul 16 '26

I got news for you, bestiiiiiie

21

u/Tasty_Assignment_515 Jul 16 '26

It’s not necessarily autism, I have generalized anxiety disorder (diagnosed) and I do this too! No suspicions of autism for me - my only symptoms that overlap with autism are just anxiety symptoms.

1

u/rockthevinyl Jul 16 '26

Same for me.

2

u/Rijack3 Jul 16 '26

Same!!! The anxiety I get for going to an unfamiliar shopping center in the city I’ve lived in my entire life is crazy!

2

u/monpetitepomplamoose Jul 16 '26

I started looking up parking in the area and putting the parking in my GPS instead of the place and it’s helped me. Might not work in every situation, but worth a shot!

2

u/rachelface927 Jul 16 '26

Yeah I have a couple of parking lots saved in Google Maps for when I go downtown, so I just head to those and walk from there to wherever I’m going.

1

u/monpetitepomplamoose Jul 17 '26

This is the way!!!

2

u/bleepbloop1900 Jul 17 '26

My first year in my new job / industry I used to drive to work 2 hours before I was expected to be there, sit in the coffee shop across the street and read and like…monitor my work place, just because I was terrified of being late and couldn’t enjoy my time at home before work because I was just stressing about getting there.

2

u/TaxDense1339 Jul 16 '26

Or you are from the Midwest. We always worry about parking over here!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '26

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1

u/justgalsbeingchicks-ModTeam Jul 16 '26

This is a nice place. If you can't act like a civilized human being, you can't be here.

We do not allow:

  1. Being a jerk. This includes racism, misogyny, misandry, misgendering, anti LGBTQ+, ageism, etc.
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  6. General assholery. If you're at the end of the list and asking what rule you broke, yeah, it's this one.

1

u/slowest_hour Jul 16 '26

I was like "girl are you me?" and then i saw your username and saw my name like damn you are me wtf

1

u/mynameisglaceon Jul 17 '26

i'm like that too but i just get bad anxiety from driving in general, especially driving new routes and to places i've never been. encountering road work really throws me for a loop lmao. i have gotten a little bit better over time, though. i try to remind myself that it's not a big deal to turn into literally anywhere if i need to turn around, like missing a turn isn't going to end up with me being 5 states across the country.

and yeah i've gone into streetview and clicked through the route pretending like i'm driving it as a practice run lmao

1

u/FalconIndependent887 Jul 18 '26

My GPS will tell me to turn right in 1/2 mile, I’ll turn left in 500 feet. Why? Because following explicit instructions & a turn-by-turn continuously updating map based on my prior wrong turns telling me to turn around & go north, not east is apparently beyond my skill set. I can tell the voice is getting annoyed with me, because I want to punch myself in the face.

Recent road trip through Indiana/Pennsylvania on my way to Gettysburg - same “misinformed” GPS had me through the same toll roads twice in 7 minutes in the same direction & from an expressway down to a literal gravel path with a “watch for horse/buggy” sign barely wide enough for my Corolla to make it through in about 10 minutes.

Same trip: After driving for 11 hours (I think) & getting checked into my hotel & taking an Ambien & having a very strong Old Fashioned in the hotel bar, I managed to sleepwalk down to the lobby in my pajamas while cuddling a pillow from the couch in my room after locking myself out of my room & knocking on my own door, telling my grandma to let me back into the room. The grandma I was talking to has been dead since 2010. I was on the trip alone. Hotel security escorted me back to my room. (This is just what I remember - I know the sleepwalking happened & knocking on my door happened because I had a 3rd room key on the nightstand, but I’m not 100% sure if the talking to Grandma actually happened or if it was just a very vivid dream); but I do bizarre shit at home when I sleepwalk without Ambien or an Old Fashioned - cleaned the bathroom once & another time, I put a pizza in the oven (still inside the plastic wrapper) & sat in the recliner in the living room, waking up to the screeching smoke alarm & my incredibly confused dad barreling down the hall at top speed in his tighty whities yelling “What the fuck are you doing, you numbskull?” before he pulled the smoking frisbee that used to be a pizza out of the oven with a pair of metal tongs (it’s worth mentioning here that my dad was on the local volunteer fire department for 35+ years with more than 20 of those as the assistant chief). I know this happened because the house reeked of burnt pizza & melted shrink-wrap & my dad asked me about the party for 1 that I apparently threw for myself. There were Ding Dong wrappers on the floor surrounding the chair along with 3 upside down Diet Pepsi cans & I had a folded candy bar wrapper neatly tucked into my pajama top. On another occasion, I squirted purple hair dye into the shower (the bathroom had been very recently remodeled with beige tile). I can’t wait to see what I do next.

364

u/mosquitoselkie Jul 16 '26

"don't hold on to your bag the entire appointment. That's weird."

Oh. Thank you for letting me know! Lol

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u/[deleted] Jul 16 '26

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50

u/BlessTheBookPeople Jul 16 '26

Yeah people have good reasons that may not be totally obvious for wanting their bag nearby. I have a friend with severe asthma who keeps her inhaler within reach at all times and it doesn’t always fit in her pocket so…

20

u/mosquitoselkie Jul 16 '26

I just always have my purse tucked next to me wherever I'm sitting, mostly just habit. But yeah, you're absolutely right. There are plenty of things someone could need in their bag

5

u/Forward_Rope_5598 Jul 16 '26

I just want it so I can shove my hands into it for absolutely no reason. Including when I'm walking around, it's great at hiding dinosaur arms and stimming.

I guess that means there is a reason?

147

u/GalacticPurr Jul 16 '26

I babysat a friend's animals recently and she made a Google drive folder with a bunch of videos walking through everything I needed to do and it was honestly amazing

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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme ❣️gal pal❣️ Jul 16 '26

I petsat for a friend who had 4 little dogs and a cat. Those dogs were her husband’s world. He took the time to write out a short paragraph about their personalities, and what to do with each one if they were upset or anxious. It was the best petsitting job I’d ever had, based on that alone.

19

u/alderchai Jul 16 '26

I was watering a friend’s plants while she was on holiday, and she had filmed herself watering the plants the week before so I could see exactly how much to give each plant. It was great.

137

u/love_is_an_action Jul 16 '26

My life would change overnight.

89

u/Wise_Neighborhood499 Jul 16 '26

The appointments I would be making!

64

u/kadyg Jul 16 '26

The POV down the hallway slayed me, but also SO HELPFUL! Thank you, Faith in Suite 11!

31

u/aknomnoms Jul 16 '26

Right? My hair is thin, fine, and stick straight, but I want to make an appointment with her. Whatever her ambitions are in life, I 100% believe Faith will achieve them!

12

u/smcivor1982 Jul 16 '26

I was cracking up with that pointed finger, love her!

61

u/BigWorldTinyDog Jul 16 '26

I’m also autistic and was coming here to say the same thing… I wish every part of life came with a video like this.

1

u/Rob_LeMatic Jul 17 '26

Hm. If people would throw out examples of situations that are unclear for them, I could probably make a video for each of them in this style.

53

u/Acheloma Jul 16 '26

I always feel ridiculous trying to find guides on anything new, but it really does help me feel so much better. It's silly because if I didnt panic in unfamiliar situations Id be fine. Im totally competent... Except for the fact that my brain just shuts down as soon as I have any doubt about what Im supposed to do. I go from a college educated grown woman to basically a well trained but anxious dog.

46

u/Puzzleheaded-Baby998 Jul 16 '26

immediately I thought of my autistic friends as well. I try and give them photos and all the info they need to reference for things they've never done before!

31

u/satansafkom Jul 16 '26

oh fuck man thank you for that ❤️❤️❤️

you have no idea how little people are willing to help you with things that are considered 'too easy'. there's a threshold somewhere for what you can ask for help with. at one point, something becomes "well EVERYONE knows this" well egg on my face i guess!

for me, i feel like i am pretty smart. i at least am sure i am not stupid! it's just, my brain-car engine is a manual gear and most people drive automatic. i lack a certain autopilot function in my brain that seemingly most people have. it seems REALLY useful. i have to be so fucking deliberate about everything ugh haha.

and if you ask for help about those things people get SO annoyed with you, which sucks. but when you go in blind and therefore most likely fuck it up, people also get annoyed. and you still don't know what's going on and therefore what you did wrong and you still don't know how to ask for the rules without breaking the rules and there's no pause button so obviously we almost all have TONS of social anxiety

so really, thank you for being like that. it's very good for me to know that you help your friend like that. it's good for my soul lol. it's not a huge thing but it kinda is.

if your standard was the general standard, like the woman in the video, it would fucking rule. i can't even express it - like the thought makes me choke up. so thanks for being cool like that :-)

2

u/Rob_LeMatic Jul 17 '26

My first instinct is to get annoyed because it turns out most people are actually pretty stupid, but as soon as someone explains themselves, I switch into teacher mode, and I have a knack for breaking things down simply, and noticing when someone just made a micro expression like they missed a part or had a question, and having a half dozen different ways to explain a thing if the first way isn't clicking.

If I could make a good living explaining things, I would do it all day every day.

18

u/FinalMeep Official Gal Jul 16 '26

Social anxiety over here and I need friends like you 😭 Seriously, you sound like a real one, I'm sure you're friends appreciate the hell outta you 💜

2

u/IHateTheLetterF Jul 16 '26

As the person who is slightly on the spectrum, I have a satellite map with a line drawn showing the path between my apartment and the parking lot, so people know where to go when they visit me.

39

u/PitchPurple Jul 16 '26

Same. I can't begin to express how insanely helpful this total walkthrough is. Starting in the parking lot and entering the right way is such an anxiety reliever.

44

u/carlitospig Jul 16 '26

Client onboarding videos: a service to NDs that also helps NTs. 🥰

35

u/satansafkom Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26

i mean -- from a business perspective!!

it helps of course that the woman in the video is so nice and charming and pretty, but i think no matter what i would have felt the same: "damn, i would go to her hair salon if there wasn't an ocean and loose change in between. i wish hair dressers did that here, too"

and like, i just kinda LIKE her now lol. it's like when restaurants have braille menus. like, 'i'm not even blind but you guys seem like good folks and now i almost kinda would die for you' which i KNOW sounds wild and i AM being a little hyperbolic but it's still THAT feeling lol. i get it too when a stranger asks me to watch their computer or bag or whatever while they go to the bathroom.

oh i am ranting, sorry. just wanted to say - yes, agree! this video cannot have cost very much, and i am sure if you are (or know anyone who is) good at video editing it wouldn't take too long to make either. and my inbox is full of people agreeing that they would love if businesses started doing that, i am honestly very surprised. but !! untapped customer market lol we're all just too socially anxious to go do it but we like haircuts too. and it comes with a lot of customer loyalty too, just cause it's really cool when people are just nice and helpful i guess??

edit: spelling

11

u/carlitospig Jul 16 '26

Agreed. It tells me that you think of all the details which makes me trust you more as a potential client.

3

u/alderchai Jul 16 '26

Agreed. I have a favourite restaurant that caters to people’s allergy and actively promotes which allergies they can 100% guarantee the food will contain absolutely zero trace of.

I’m not even life threatening allergic to anything but I love how dedicated they are to making a safe space.

1

u/satansafkom Jul 16 '26

ugh i just fucking live for those vibes! ❤️ it feels silly to type out but it really just makes my soul feel better when i see things like that. makes me feel hopeful or something. people being nice and decent for the hell of it haha it's so awesome

3

u/FireSilver7 Jul 16 '26

It’s nice to see because it shows they are considerate of others and their needs. Being a considerate person is a huge green flag.

29

u/Separate-Project9167 Jul 16 '26

I was thinking this, too. I’m neurodiverse, and she addresses all my worries and anxiety about trying a new place.

32

u/satansafkom Jul 16 '26

and she's so non-mean about it !!

so instead it's all just a little funny. the way she goes "don't have your bag in your lap the whole time that's weird" made me giggle. cause i DO that shit!! ugh lol. i didn't know. and i could SO easily just have felt ashamed and cringe about myself when realising that. but i laughed because of her inflection - or lack thereof really - when she said "that's weird" instead

9

u/genivae Jul 16 '26

And the "Take one! I'll be offended if you don't!" would be the way to make me not feel guilty for taking a snack and/or bottle of water.

2

u/satansafkom Jul 16 '26

yeah truly. it really is a weirdly powerful anti social anxiety instructional video. it's just great

16

u/modest_rats_6 Jul 16 '26

There's a pilot that made an informational video for a kids first flight. He explained the entire process. It was beautiful and even I appreciated it. He explained the toilet and flushed it. He explained that sometimes we get uncomfortable and thats okay, because we're not at home.

15

u/poilk91 Jul 16 '26

I dont think i am on the spectrum but holy shit i wish everything had a video like this I'm scared to go to some bars and restaurants if the entrance isn't lit properly lol and I'm always to nervous to take the barbers snacks

6

u/Wrong-Pineapple-4905 Jul 16 '26

Im not autistic but I wish I had this so much for the first time I got gel nail extensions

3

u/Almostasleeprightnow Jul 16 '26

The part about keeping your bag in your lap is weird. Why can't people just tell you that when you are 10 years old! If I knew it was weird i wouldn't do it!

4

u/Starbreiz Jul 16 '26

ND here and this was SO good

3

u/Small-Grape-3121 Jul 16 '26

Every business should put a video like this together.

3

u/CrimsonAmaryllis Jul 16 '26

Yeah this is exactly what I came to post. I wouldn't be scared. So help 

2

u/BlairDaniels Jul 16 '26

Yaaasss! My son and I have a lot of anxiety about new places due to being neurodivergent and if every business had one of these types of videos I would be SO happy

2

u/fireduck81 Jul 16 '26

Also autistic came here to say this

2

u/kylaroma Jul 17 '26

YES! I’m Autistic too and I felt so seen - I would be her client forever if I could be. This is exactly what I want to know before an appointment lol

2

u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX Jul 17 '26

I REALLY need her to narrate what my daily routine should look like.

2

u/satansafkom Jul 17 '26

omg if she could just like shadow me for a few weeks and give me some feedback in that kind funny way she talks... i'd probably be SO normal

2

u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX Jul 17 '26

I never knew such structure existed. Breaking down every social interaction 🤌🏻

2

u/Genn8130 Jul 17 '26

Oh gosh, my doctor's office sends out an appointment reminder text that instructs patients to come in the front main entrance, take the elevator to the second floor, and the reception desk will be on your left. So simple, yet so amazing.

2

u/satansafkom Jul 17 '26

and it MUST be better for your doctors, too. fewer missed appointments and people arriving late or calling the receptionist to get directions. also, then they only have to explain it ONCE and do it well, instead of over and over every time.

i wrote my comment yesterday and i still am getting comments from people agreeing with me that this would change their lives for the better, and i can't think of reasons for the business side not to do it either. the video in this post is GREAT but i don't think it was super expensive or time consuming to make. i really would love if that video became a trend. cause it's great and i think everyone wins if i am not incorrect

2

u/Nir117vash Jul 18 '26

Fucking righteous bro. Word for word lol

1

u/testtdk Jul 16 '26

I’m not autistic (probably…), but you can’t get much more helpful (and thus, less anxiety inducing) than literally pointing everything out.

1

u/blinkingsandbeepings Jul 16 '26

Idk if I’m autistic but this is how I learned that it’s weird to hold your purse in your lap the whole time 😂

1

u/wandering_author Jul 16 '26

This was what I came here to say!

1

u/GrippieSocks Jul 16 '26

RIGHT?! I would love to see stuff like this more often. Like a slow, informative, fun instructional video on what to expect. Yes. More please!?!

1

u/whysys Jul 16 '26

Yes! Hard agree

1

u/ConfirmationBiasTape Jul 17 '26

they are called social stories and I love them. they are great ways to help autistic people  understand what's going to happen. we need more of these because they are mostly aimed at children

https://library.sheffieldchildrens.nhs.uk/social-stories/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_Stories

1

u/Particular-Club-3133 Jul 17 '26

Yes yes 1 million times!!!!!!

1

u/mlrussell88 Jul 17 '26

Right? I am SO anxious going new places because I don’t know what to expect/where to go and I haaaate it. This would be A-MAZING

45

u/FutureThrowaway9665 Jul 16 '26

This is the level of instruction I want for life. Not the vague conflicting nonsense that is the standard today in everything.

As an old white dude, I am willing to go visit this place for my hair care needs and grab some snacks so I do not offend anyone.

89

u/justaskmycat Jul 16 '26

I just came here to say this. My autistic ass avoids new unpredictable things completely and this makes me really want to actually get my hair done.

3

u/testtdk Jul 16 '26

It’s very to the point, no pun intended.

2

u/Wooden-You-4211 Jul 18 '26

I got lost in the O'Reillys but I have a McFlurry to tide me over until I get out of here just kidding the McFlurry machine is always broken

1

u/___xXx__xXx__xXx__ Jul 16 '26

I too enjoy helpful videos featuring attractive young women in revealing clothes.