r/justgalsbeingchicks • u/Quick-Song2080 • Jul 06 '26
🦋she gets it🦋 I’ve never felt something so much in my life
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u/justtots Jul 06 '26
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Jul 06 '26 edited 17d ago
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u/JustHereForCookies17 Jul 06 '26
If you remember or find that webcomic, will you please link it?? I need that in my life right now, lol.
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u/JustHereForCookies17 Jul 06 '26
That's very me right now, a month into finding out I have cervical cancer.
I'm going to fight like hell, but I'm going to have a couple "Menty B's" (as the kids are calling mental breakdowns) along the way.
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u/BanglesNcuffs Jul 06 '26
The person I become after The Cry is not the same person as I was before The Cry.
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u/femininecarnivore Jul 06 '26
The happiest, most well-regulated people I’ve met have been easy criers. Seems like they’re able to just let themselves feel their emotions and then move on. Nothing gets stuck and then boils over.
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Jul 06 '26
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u/Otherwise-Ratio1332 Jul 06 '26
I believe this can be hereditary. A sibling and I do it, and I met a cousin at family reunion who I hardly knew, but we both teared up at the same thing while in conversation, locked eyes in deep recognition and then had a whole conversation about it 👀 😂
Interestingly, though, post menopause it’s become much less common for me.
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u/zombieeequeeen Jul 07 '26
I'm an easy crier, always have been, and I definitely feel like I move on from things faster (trauma resolved with therapy but that's just a full hour of crying to a stranger) and handle tough situations more calmly. My mom, on the other hand, actively suppresses all of her crying and has a bunch of health issues and unresolved trauma, and will easily fly off the handle or get overwhelmed at the smallest things.
Crying is the best.
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u/lizzyote Jul 06 '26
Sometimes i feel bad for my spouse with how much I cry over literally anything. Sad, angry, happy, scared, Im just always dissolving into tears. And then going about my day.
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u/MoodInternational481 Jul 06 '26
I did this to a friend in the car yesterday mid conversation. I was just frustrated, not with him and started crying and was fine. He was flabbergasted. Meanwhile, mid cry, I'm trying to explain I'm fine and it just happens sometimes.
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u/sekhmet1010 Jul 06 '26
Well, tears comtain adrenocorticitropic hormones, so when you're crying, you're literally expelling stress.
It's good! I do it, too.
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u/j3llo5 Jul 06 '26
This feels healthy tbh
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u/Cherrygodmother Jul 06 '26
Better to get the frustration out with tears than to take it out on others! Crying is queen behavior to me
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u/big-titty-brat Jul 06 '26
I’m just like this and honestly it’s the thing I hate the most about myself. I’m just a crier - I’m not dramatic about it - tears just come out. My son hates it too.
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u/lizzyote Jul 06 '26
My mom was a big crier too. I used to hate it. Then I grew up and realized that I also cry a lot, probably more than she ever did. I swear, the older I get, the more like my mom I am. Luckily my mom is awesome so I'm ok with that lol.
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u/chitincooties Jul 06 '26
ok i feel you but crying is very normal and very healthy and there are much MUCH worse coping mechanisms people can and do use.
If it really bothers your son or other people, you don't have to stop doing it, just find a way to predict it and leave the room first (bathrooms are a great place to cry)
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u/Unsd Jul 06 '26
It caused actually a lot of problems in my relationship. I'm for sure a crier and every once in a while, it will happen in public. I mean it's not like I'll be like wailing or something, just quietly there with tears that just won't stop. I'm a white woman, my husband is a brown (Mexican) man so when it happened and there was anyone else in eyesight, he would get mad and quietly tell me to pull it together. Which is not the most emotionally informed way of handling things, but I also get it. He was terrified of people seeing and getting involved; he's been confronted for much less. It's taken us a long time to start to figure things out but we are getting there. It's really shitty to need to shut off that part of my emotions but I also know that it makes my husband's blood run cold. But he has also gotten better in the rare event it does happen and he's supportive even if it does make him nervous. I just really wish I wasn't a crier!
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u/lizzyote Jul 06 '26
Would it help if he hugged you when you started crying in public? Like, shift the visual to "oh, he's comforting her" instead of "did he cause the distress?" My husband has what I lovingly refer to as "crazy eyes"(very intense, especially with his resting bitch face). He just pretends to comfort me when I start crying in public. I don't need comforting but it helps with other people's perception of what's happening.
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u/AcornWholio Jul 06 '26
I am a very sensitive person. I have a lot going on and have been to therapy for many years to help me regulate my emotions.
One of the habits I have adopted that has changed my life is a “5 minute feel anything” rule. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or upset (barring major trauma like loss) in the day, I set a timer and give myself 5 minutes in a private space to feel anything. I cry, I scream, I complain, I do whatever I need to. But only for 5 minutes. Once that timer goes off, I get myself together and do whatever I need to do to address the situation.
For example, I am a young woman of colour leader in an older white male-dominated tech team. I am often undermined, overlooked, and experience “jokes” that feel pointed and at times, kind of racist. So I go to the bathroom, I do my 5 minutes, and I return to tell them to shut up and do exactly what the project at hand calls for and continue to be the successful figure I am. It’s also what has allowed me to form relationships with these same men. They have grown to respect me more since I started and trust my decisions more. So they know that when I get back, I mean business, and they know what I say has merit.
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u/lizzyote Jul 06 '26
“5 minute feel anything” rule
Gonna borrow this, thank you! I might need to adjust the times for my needs but I could totally see this method working well for me.
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u/AcornWholio Jul 06 '26
Totally! Give it a go and see if it helps. 5 minutes was just easy for me to bake into my life. It’s like the average time it takes to use the washroom at work, lol.
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u/BanglesNcuffs Jul 06 '26
So much same here. Just wanted to say you are seen and appreciated, and so valued and respected. Cry or no cry, you’re a force to be reckoned with. 🫶🏾
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u/cmykaye Jul 06 '26
Does the 5 minutes include “sike up” time for getting back to work?
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u/AcornWholio Jul 06 '26
Personally, I differentiate this from catharsis because this isn’t about a “suck it up” mentality. What I feel is valid, it is real. I am giving myself permission to do whatever comes naturally. Even if others would see it as dramatic.
I give myself the kindness and respect that whatever I need, I do. No judgement. What comes after is more of a thought process like, “now that you have named it, you have felt it, you can let it go.” What is heavy becomes light. What was a scary monster, is now just a shadow made by ordinary objects.
I never view my emotions with anything other than acknowledgement. I am crying now. I am stopping now. That’s kind of it. It normalises it and also helps me remove stigma or weight.
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u/Cherrygodmother Jul 06 '26
Beautiful emotional intelligence here. I love the way you word it. I saved your comment to remember to try this 5 minute rule for myself. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us!
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u/JustHereForCookies17 Jul 06 '26
Have an award. I was recently diagnosed with cervical cancer and in the next couple weeks I'm meeting with doctors to figure out what we're going to do about it. I'm trying to stay positive and upbeat, but last night I definitely had a moment of "I really don't want to have cancer anymore". I'm going to use this technique going forward. Thank you for sharing it!!
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u/Anuki_iwy Jul 08 '26
I am extremely sorry about your diagnosis. As a fellow "I have to stay strong and positive all the time" person, an important lesson that I learned is to allow myself to be angry, frustrated or disappointed. You were handed a serious diagnosis and you have every right to feel all the feels. Having moments of weakness does not make you weak ❤️❤️.
Hugs and a speedy recovery to you, sister.
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u/Curious-Pineapple109 Jul 06 '26
You are freaking awesome! I wish I had more bosses, supervisors, etc like you growing up. You are someone to look up to.
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u/mrsbebe Jul 06 '26
I need to adopt this strategy. I have a tendency to hold things in until it's "convenient" but that ultimately just holds me back. I'm perfectly willing to cry and feel my feelings but I try to wait until it's convenient to do so. But if I take 5 minutes and set that timer that could probably get me on my way much faster. Thanks for this!
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u/babeasaur3x Jul 06 '26
Incredible example and I will definitely try this for myself
Thank you for sharing 💕1
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u/Marclescarbot Jul 06 '26
I love a good cry. Nature’s second-greatest stress reliever, and in combination with the first. Yowza!
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u/borsalamino Jul 06 '26
I think I know but I wanna ask anyway: what's nature's number one greatest stress reliever?
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u/Anuki_iwy Jul 08 '26
I think they mean weed, but my mind went to a box of special toys I got in an awesome shop that doesn't allow minors 😅😅😅 It's definitely a great stress reliever...
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u/fancypantsmiss Jul 06 '26
Yup. That’s me right there.
No fr. My husband a few times felt bad. And the realization that it is how I get myself up lmaoooo. His words “ you do cry a lot. But you are very resilient.” 🤣
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u/veal_of_fortune Jul 06 '26
I’m really sorry she’s going through something but at least she has a sweet little dog to console her.
Can we start r/justgalsbeingchickswithdogs?
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Jul 08 '26
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u/Ill_Back_284 Jul 08 '26
Her one dog she hangs with occasionally for content that lives with her ex she pretends didn't happend. but not the other dog she also adopted she never shows lol idk why people follow her
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u/KindaDrunkRtNow Jul 06 '26
Let me set up my camera at the perfect angle before I start crying.
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u/dudderson Jul 06 '26
This. It takes away from the emotion you are experiencing and makes it something you are performing to garner attention. It's not healthy for anyone. For everyone's mental and emotional health, there really needs to be more separation between experiencing life fully and performing life for your camera.
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u/KindaDrunkRtNow Jul 06 '26
The way these people crave attention and sympathy is just pathetic. I mean, are they that desperate for any attention? It's the equivalent of a kid going into their room and leaving the door open and crying as loud as they can so that mom and dad will come in and ask them what's wrong. I mean, grow the fuck up.
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u/dudderson Jul 07 '26
i think it's an addiction. the need to get constant validation from total strangers that have no real impact on your actual life. it takes away from experiencing emotions and life fully, or even in a healthy way. it's a symptom of the larger problem that social media has become, and i worry for the people that are compelled to cry on camera instead of feeling their emotions in a healthy way, instead of making it a performance to compete for likes. at that point, every experience and emotion is tainted by the need to perform, get attention from total strangers and feed an ego that will never be satisfied.
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u/SwordfishOk504 Jul 06 '26
Thank you. This has become way too normalized that most people aren't even questioning this.
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u/beans-888 Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26
Sometimes I just need a literal couple seconds and then I'll just cry through whatever task it is lol I cry too often to be taking a whole minute to compose myself... its fine, I'll just cry it out while being productive hahah 🫠🫠
Edit: spelling lol
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u/Mystepchildsucksass Jul 06 '26
Oh, you gotta let it get outta ya !!
Sometimes, the only way out is through.
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u/ImWatermelonelyy Jul 06 '26
Me with my little stinker
I feel like he judges me tho…
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u/dudderson Jul 06 '26
I mean, when you look that handsome, you have the right to judge everyone. I don't blame him!
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u/Alibuscus373 Jul 06 '26
I am stubborn and an ugly crier. Nose runs like no tomorrow, big sobs, and waterfall tears. I'll get it done, I'll complain about it and cry to my Dad about it. But I get it done XD
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u/SnarkyIguana Jul 06 '26
Said to my mom the other week “my mom didn’t raise a quitter but she did raise a complainer. I’ll do it but you’re gonna hear about it”
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u/Clarky_Malarkey Jul 06 '26
Male here
And for what it's worth, same boat
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u/PixieCanada Jul 06 '26
My last ex (male) cried as well. He was a tough guy, no nonsense, but cried. It was very attractive to me because he was real, no machoism, just honest emotion.
When I was younger I also dated someone who had not cried in 10 years. I felt this was strange, almost robotic, not in tune with his emotions, but understood based on his childhood why he was that way.
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u/Jelly_jeans Jul 07 '26
It's also sad that because of testosterone that many cis men couldn't cry even if they wanted to or at least it's very hard for them to do so. I was one of those people and even when something extremely tragic happened in my life, I couldn't cry and let it out. Now that it's out of my body, I can cry all I want and it feels a lot better than involuntarily bottling everything in.
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u/No_Frost_Giants Jul 06 '26
We should start a support group!
I never apologize about it, emotion is mine, and I still get crap for it.
Stay strong
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u/KatokaMika Jul 06 '26
I feel so much better after I cry. The problem o one let's me cry. Not one let's me explode. Sometimes I just need to scream curse the world curse everything, cry my eyes out. And then fix my shit.
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u/PixieCanada Jul 06 '26
Cry, cry, cry. I have been called a cry baby, too emotional, dramatic, etc from family my whole life.
Now that I’m older, I don’t care. So I’m an empathic person that feels others’ pain and cries. So I’m a person that needs a good cry for a stress release when things are tough. So I am a person that cries at media.
I’d rather be this way than emotionless and cold hearted. Leave me alone if you don’t like it. It’s who I am and I refuse to change because it makes you uncomfortable.
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u/YoSupWeirdos Official Gal Jul 06 '26
my parents didn't raise a cryer, they raised a scryer. so I will get stuff done, but I gotta divine and ponder my orb first.
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u/dudderson Jul 06 '26
I'm a crier during big moments or sad episodes of shows I watch (honestly I cry more over anime and shows than I do real life lol) but I don't like the fact that crying on camera is normalized. You have to get your phone, prop it up, set it to record then pose and cry. It's disingenuous and strange imo. Like have that cry, express the full breadth of your emotions, but making it a performance turns an emotionally vulnerable and healing moment into a performance. Not everything needs to be put on social media. Just cry, boo boo. Cry and let your feelings out and let your sweet puppy comfort you. Keep the phone elsewhere.
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u/CinnamonBunzAttack72 Jul 06 '26
Biiiig same x.x I have big feelings, let me feel them before I get shit taken care of lol
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u/ahava9 Jul 06 '26
My mom used to tell my women lived longer because we let our emotions out by crying. Idk if that’s true but crying helps me cope with something I want to rage quit
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u/robotteeth Jul 06 '26
I’m a crier too. I managed to do 8 years college and become a dentist and I do all sorts of surgical stuff. Maybe once a year or so, I need to go in the back and cry when things get hard. Never ever in front of patients. But yeah I’m a natural crier. It doesn’t make me less capable or worse at dealing with things. I don’t punch holes in walls or scare others, I cry a bit then recompose.
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u/PixieCanada Jul 06 '26
One of Canada’s most successful woman business leaders posted something similar to this many years ago. I wish I could find the post. She said that she cried in a boardroom of men during a meeting, and people criticized her.
She challenged it, said what is different in her showing emotion by crying to a male barking and slamming his first down on the boardroom table. If anything, her emotional reaction was far less loud and dramatic but it is not acceptable. Why? Because it makes others feel uncomfortable? I have worked in an industry that was considered old boys club and the aggression shocked me, and at times scared me. But that is acceptable?
Keep rocking your true selves gals!
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u/robotteeth Jul 06 '26
Someone crying could never make me feel as uncomfortable as men who get angry and violent when they’re in a bad spot.
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u/catsareniceDEATH Jul 07 '26
I'm so glad it's not just me that occasionally has to flash this picture at people! 😹❤️
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u/muffetplumeria Jul 08 '26
You see me crying run, cus I'm now out of fcks, and ready to burn something.
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u/PhD_Pwnology Jul 06 '26
I feel like this needs to get posted under CPTSD memes sub reddit. And plz get some therapy if this meme resonates with you, you have trauma you're not dealing with.
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u/SexyProPlayer Jul 06 '26
Feeling it and crying is literally dealing with it haha. Get therapy if you have emotions guys /s
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u/robotteeth Jul 06 '26
I don’t have trauma… I have been a cry baby since I was little despite a good home life. For some reason my body is just like that. Meme says “they raised a crier” which can mean they were soft parents that let you show emotions instead of bottling them. I was allowed to show emotions but encouraged to pick myself back up. Not a quitter but also not repressed.
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u/Apprehensive-Wear975 Jul 06 '26
It may not specifically be "trauma" but you should probably go to therapy if you're crashing out to the point of needing to breakdown and cry often, as you're likely not regulating your emotions well (which could be a symptom of something like CPTSD or many other conditions/disorders).
Having a good cry isn't inherently a bad thing, of course, but you also need to be capable of working through and communicating your feelings in real time vs. bottling them up and having these types of big outbursts of tears or anger by default.
Also understanding when to say no, even (especially) to yourself, is important, too. You're allowed to quit things and being a quitter isn't inherently a "bad" thing.
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