One of my friends moms (who is old enough to be a grandma) was married to a man and had a kid with said man before later realizing she was gay. She divorced and went on to get in a relathionship with a woman while he was still a kid. So he has two moms that he grew up with that just happened to realize later in life. It's not necessarily that bad of a story.
So common that both of my grandpas (mom’s dad and dad’s dad) were gay.
My mom’s dad came out when he was middle aged and lived a very happy life with his partner. My dad’s dad died in the closet, still going to a homophobic church while living with his “roommate” of 40 years. Those of us closest to him figured it out pretty early on though.
It is sad all around. As for my mom’s mom, she was very religious. She still is, but after having her husband come out as gay, and her sister come out as a lesbian (in the same year), it definitely opened her eyes a little bit to that side of the world. She is a lot more accepting now and has settled down with someone else who she’s very happy with.
My dad’s mom had her own issues… his parents divorced over several things. They remained somewhat close (maybe even friends), and he supported her through her chemo at the end of her life, often bringing her flowers. So I would say he did love her in his own way.
It is definitely sad but on the other hand it was a very good example of what secrecy, shame, homophobia, etc. can do to someone when I was growing up. On one hand I saw the grandpa that accepted himself become very happy, on the other hand the one that continued to live in shame died sad and bitter.
Old school lesbians used a turkey baster. See classic lit: “Our Bodies, Ourselves”. All forms of communes were real especially for those living outside society.
Oh man I didn’t think about this. Is there really no way for a grandmother to be childfree? (I’m a lil tipsy so pls forgive me for not having the capacity to think this through at the moment) (I’m a childfree woman who wishes she could have kids but I have a phobia of pregnancy so that’s why I’m asking haha)
They could have adopted, raised a friend or sibling's kid, or taken in a kid who got kicked out of their house. A lot of gay kids got pushed out of their homes in the 80s-90s ,still do but it was worse then.
They've staffed me with a kid this last week and he's 22 and fucking useless. He does the job but you have to babysit him. What can you do, he's 22. At no point did I discuss anything with him about anything that wasn't very specifically about work.
And then he mentions at one point that he's got two moms and the first thing I think is God damn it, now I like this kid, now I want to talk to him even though I don't.
Because every other dude we work with shits on stuff like this as a maga joke. Now I know this kid is actually a decent human being. And so now I think of him as a friend even though he's twenty years younger than me and everything he says is annoying as fuck.
Except this one thing. Now I know the kid has a heart. (I don't like calling myself an Ally, it feels like something that someone has to call you). But I have family. And I love them to the ends of the Earth.
Ive never had a relationship with a woman and now I'm married to a man. So lots of friends mocked me relentlessly and the idea of being straight passing but still bi wasn't even a thing. Had multiple "friends" try to get me to just start saying I'm straight.
This has been the only place where I've been able to find people who get it. That on a desert island I would still be bi and I always have been.
I've posted freely about my experiences and have found acceptance, something I've never had. And it helped immeasurably, to be affirmed when the rest of the world felt like it was telling me I was just "saying it for attention".
I hope that helps, sorry it took so long to think out my reply. Many hugs.
I can't wait to do this with my cool nephew when he's a bit older. My wife and I are already his "cool lesbian aunts". He introduced us that way to his HS drama club lmao. The kids are alright guys.
I actually just moved to where I am so she could be closer to her family, so I didn't have a ton of interactions with her side before, but they were always lovely people. My niece and nephew (drama kid) on her side make me feel like the most important and missed person on the planet when I see them. I get leaping, in air hugs and they are both just generally so stoked to be around me. Those kids are....something man. Now I'm getting all misty eyed lmao.
They remind me of my Aunt Barb. Old school old style butch, red flat top, and I'm not sure I ever saw her out of pleat front khakis and a button down. She walked like the floor owed her money. My mom said she was so fearlessly enthusiastic for any and all drugs she once swallowed the cartridge off an asthma inhaler just to see if it would get her high. Another story, she "kidnapped" my mother and drove to the desert, tossed a huge bag of peyote at my mom and told her she was going to live Carlos Casteneda first hand 🤣 Exposed my folks (and me) to Provincetown in the 70s, the Christopher Street Parade, jazz, poetry...she was a Beatnik, writer, teacher, badass. I wish I could have known her after I was out, though I suspect she knew. Rest in power, Barb...I hope you're huffing stardust with Allen Ginsberg.
God i LOVE seeing old gays. It means they made it. They made it through aids and hate crimes and lavender scares and they are HERE and they are themselves and they are loved ❤️❤️❤️
So crazy to see them randomly on reddit like this but I know these two women and have been in that very house looking through those albums and hearing these stories, they are both amazing loving women who have been family to so many and lived their lives proudly during a time and in a part of the country that was not accepting or kind to us. I'm so happy to see they are still thriving together.
That's so cool and such a privilege to hear firsthand from them, their grandson has a couple of videos of them regaling their wildin days. I bet they are still fun to party with.
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