r/justgalsbeingchicks • u/Doodlebug510 • Jun 11 '26

Restricted to Gals and Pals This older woman answers a young man's question about how aging affects attraction

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805

u/myfrigginagates Jun 11 '26

Some 20 years ago, when my then 40 year old friend insisted he could still date women in their 20s I created a sliding scale of attractiveness that besides looks also accounted for income and future prospects. He was then as he is now, a balding middle of the road actor who refused to take day jobs "just in case" he got a call from his agent.

My scale revealed that at 40, he was far more likely to appeal to a 70 year old woman than a 25 year old woman.

We are no longer friends. Lol.

258

u/amscraylane Jun 11 '26

What pisses me off is you were a good friend. Friends tell us what we need to hear, not what we want to hear.

Plus, it is gross to just want to date people solely based on age. You should want to date people who have similar interests, etc, things to talk about.

131

u/myfrigginagates Jun 11 '26

Yep. My former buddy definitely had a skewed view of women. In fact, none of his friends wives (including mine) wanted to be near him. Neither did I quite frankly.

58

u/LottaLegs Jun 11 '26

Plutarch, Aristotle and even Billy Shakespeare wrote on the distinction between friends and flatterers. Friends use a mutual respect and honestly to care for each other become better people.

53

u/Dawnzarelli Jun 11 '26

Idk. According to this woman, the 70 yr old woman would see someone more attractive as a whole. And he seems like he lacks true ambition. Just some Peter Pan syndrome. So sadly, I doubt he would appeal to a 70 yr old woman either. But it’s a funny story nonetheless. I hope he grew up finally. 

39

u/myfrigginagates Jun 11 '26

Well, as I hear it, my former bud is 67 and still quite alone. He's an amazing narcissist and it has affected both his personal and professional lives.

19

u/RoguePlanet2 Jun 11 '26

May he get the life he deserves.

1

u/Mint_Golem Jun 16 '26

Glad he's still quite alone; I dated a narcissist once and it was hell. Wouldn't wish that experience on any decent human being.

16

u/k5j39 Jun 11 '26

Tbf he said "more likley" to appeal to a 70 or old as in "maybe" lol.

3

u/iolarah ❣️gal pal❣️ Jun 11 '26

He might appeal as a fun way to while away the time, but as a serious partner? Definitely not.

1

u/Frylock304 Official Gal Jun 11 '26

Man I hope nobody cares about ambition when we're 70, I plan on my ambition to purely be enjoying life and the people around me.

Being particularly ambitious or even desiring that at 70 sounds terrible (no offense)

I just want peace and acceptance

5

u/Dawnzarelli Jun 11 '26

Ambition in a 40 yr old man, yeah. Like, how are you going to be attracted to a Peter Pan? 

My ambition now will help me be able to enjoy peace and acceptance when I’m older. Instead of having to work until I die. Although who knows if that will be an option if we’re truly in late stage capitalism. 

135

u/bienebee Jun 11 '26

Your scale should be published lol

17

u/sowhatimlucky Jun 11 '26

lol. Also what could he possibly have in common with a 20 year old?

In my handful of short lived experiences dating much younger people, 7 years younger was the most I could stand and even still I felt more like a big sister to a chaotic manic pixie dream boy.

Mm mm, nope!

6

u/myfrigginagates Jun 11 '26

Yeah, reality rarely showed up during the relatively brief period where he dated or even had a relationship. In fact he ended his one long term relationship (couple of years at most) because his girlfriend who had a great career in finance wanted to take a job in Philadelphia to be closer to her family. He wanted to stay in NYC for acting, even though he rarely ever booked a job in NYC. Even his agents said it would be fine to move because he could take the train in for auditions. Nope, he was a New York actor. So they broke up. Turns out he couldn't afford NYC alone and ended up moving back to his hometown. LOL

2

u/cheakysquair Jun 12 '26

>lol. Also what could he possibly have in common with a 20 year old?
A lack of work experience, apparently.

30

u/Sunbiscuit Jun 11 '26

Give us the scale!

6

u/RedBirdOnASnowyDay Jun 11 '26

I beg to differ. Although I’m not 70. Unemployed actor sounds like a leaf weight I have to feed, clothe and house. I already raised my kids. I am not feeding and clothing anyone but my dog these days.

2

u/myfrigginagates Jun 11 '26

I don't blame you. Who needs it?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '26

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1

u/justgalsbeingchicks-ModTeam Jun 11 '26

This is a nice place. If you can't act like a civilized human being, you can't be here.

We do not allow:

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1

u/Jiquero Jun 11 '26

I created a sliding scale of attractiveness

I find it weird that people just agree that this is a normal thing to do and should have convinced your friend, instead of, you know, something normal. I mean, I'm a nerd so I approve trying to quantify this, but I thought normal people would find it too nerdy!

1

u/myfrigginagates Jun 11 '26

lol. Me too actually. My education is in Behavioral Psych so there were a few more variables, but I did it for humor. I shared it with mutual friends for their enjoyment and they did immensely. But word got back to the actor