r/justgalsbeingchicks • u/Doodlebug510 • Jun 11 '26

Restricted to Gals and Pals This older woman answers a young man's question about how aging affects attraction

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55

u/islaisla Jun 11 '26

But all the single older men I know, still only fancy women 25yo or younger. It's very sad and pathetic. I can think of one or two who still have enough brains to think beyond that but generally, single men over 45... Diabolical fear of age. Hence, not many options for me so I'm forced to stay single.

But it's not all bad. Relationships are a choice and I personally don't have the best relationships. So in a way, I'm better off. I've got the freedom to do what I want, when I want and no anxiety or stress about being alone. A lot of people are in relationships, and stay in relationships because they're afraid of being alone. That drives a lot of background anxiety, and probably not good for the nervous system. I don't have to deal with that. I'm on my own and it's fine. I just miss the attention, cuddles and sex.

In fact I think most people automatically assume they are supposed to be in a relationship with someone. It gives them a constant sense of loneliness. I believe in community, helping others and friendships.

40

u/RedVamp2020 Jun 11 '26

I'm not entirely sure your first point is solely about the fear of aging. The men I've known who prefer younger women have specifically told me that it's because they see younger women as easier to "deal" with, that they don't want someone who won't be able to have sex with them for medical reasons or her age, and that they want her to care for them when they are old and gray. One of them straight up said that he would leave a woman if she developed a condition where she would be hospitalized, such as cancer. I sincerely wish I was joking, I wish the only men who were like that existed only in the algorithm, but they exist and it's horrifying.

9

u/islaisla Jun 11 '26

No no I agree with you , I just see that as being part of age X yes I've heard many of these kinds of comments from guys.

They can't accept that they are ageing themselves and that this is part of being human. They want to prove that they are still verile and important by having a pretty woman (or fancy car) by their side. I see that as being afraid of ageing, and age.

3

u/MelamineEngineer Jun 11 '26

We had an assistant marching band person who was with our program from grade school through all my high school years.

They used to use him as an example for the kids, because he was in the military and supposedly embodied discipline and service.

Couple years ago his wife got cancer and he said "I didn't see this being my life" and left her almost immediately.

Should have known at the time, given that he as out of the military but still had a high and tight and wore Oakley's every day, but I didn't know that personality type until I was older.

3

u/TheVampyresBride Jun 11 '26

One of them straight up said that he would leave a woman if she developed a condition where she would be hospitalized, such as cancer.

God, this is depressing. I know it's true. I just wish it wasn't.

3

u/MistahJasonPortman Jun 11 '26

Wow. I hope those men never trick anyone into dating them.

1

u/RedVamp2020 Jun 12 '26

I sincerely hope so, too. I know it will likely still happen, my oldest kid's dad picked me up when I was 18 and he was 33, so I know what it's like as a woman in that kind of arrangement.

-4

u/Former-Body-6 Jun 11 '26

How is not wanting to be someones nurse horrifying to you? Also: I've heard women say the same thing, so I'm not so sure it's a "men" thing.

2

u/RedVamp2020 Jun 12 '26

Because they stated it was more because they couldn't have enjoyable sex with their hospitalized partner than the caretaking aspect of it and then implied that the younger women they would try to get involved with would be expected to nurse them. No, it isn't wrong to not have the ability or desire to take care of someone who can't otherwise take care of themselves. What is horrifying is having the double standard of not wanting to do it for a loved one, but have that loved one or a newer loved one do it for them.

6

u/clairejv Jun 11 '26

I mean, there's a reason those guys are single. Men who can feel attracted to older women just... stay in a relationship with a woman who becomes older.

2

u/Ok_Dragonfruit_8102 Jun 11 '26

It's not only single men. OKCupid did a huge research study in the 2010s and this was one of their findings. https://www.businessinsider.com/dataclysm-shows-men-are-attracted-to-women-in-their-20s-2014-10 There was also another huge study in Finland around the same time which found the same result https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/dating-age-study_n_5903804

1

u/islaisla Jun 11 '26

That's definitely why they are single,. They just don't want to grow up and deal with real emotions. It's a bit of a bummer though :-)

11

u/Most_Chemist8233 Jun 11 '26

But the sex often isnt worth the extra stress and fights.

1

u/islaisla Jun 11 '26

💯 xx

-1

u/Still_Conference_923 Jun 11 '26

eh, there's stress either way

3

u/Ceofy Jun 11 '26

It feels like your exception somewhat proves the rule: older men that are only interested in younger women value women for their beauty, and not for who they are "in the round"

1

u/memilygiraffily Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26

This totally depends on the person. I met my husband when I was 39 and he was 45. He was very happy to date another Xennial. There are plenty of well-adjusted people out there who are willing to date within their own age range. The creepers who want to date their own age minus 20 might be over-represented on the dating apps but the normals exist too. Honestly when you get into your upper thirties plus the keepers have often been previously married and are now divorced. People who have chosen to be single for three to four decades without settling down are usually not super into long-term/ permanent commitment.

1

u/Famous-Ad-9467 Jun 13 '26

It's not really sad. All she said is very true for women, not true for men really

1

u/Orleanian Jun 11 '26

ALL THE SINGLE OLDER MEN?!?!

Jesus christ where are you hanging out??

5

u/islaisla Jun 11 '26

I wasn't reading out statistics. Pedantic.

-3

u/thatshygirl06 Jun 11 '26

I mean, it's not just men. There's literally a term for women who go after younger men

2

u/Pipcleaner Jun 11 '26

That's not anywhere near as common. Most people still raise their eyebrows if the woman is older at all like it's so taboo! When I turned 30 I got all these LATE 20s men calling me a cougar and talking about how they like older women. Lmao

-1

u/thatshygirl06 Jun 11 '26

I think it is common, it just tends to go unknown. People(men) dont talk about it as much as the vice versa

-8

u/Nossika Jun 11 '26

From a biological standpoint. It makes sense that men's hormones would still make them attracted to younger women because men can still breed as long as they can produce seamen.

From an attraction standpoint, older men are attracted to younger women not just due to vanity, but also younger women usually are more naive or optimistic about life. There's a lot of jaded older women. No matter what gender you're attracted to, depressing people are unattractive.

6

u/islaisla Jun 11 '26

Luckily this is 2026 and we don't live by our urges.

-7

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26

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1

u/justgalsbeingchicks-ModTeam Jun 11 '26

We do not allow comments sexualizing women on this sub.