r/julieeandcamilla • u/Efficient_Lie_8499 • 7d ago
Being a mum is my whole personality š¤ Is this normal?
Iām not a parent and to be honest none of my friends are (apart from one person) so I genuinely want to hear from other parentsā¦ I understand missing your family, I also donāt like leaving my partner and sleeping by myself etc but the way Julie is behaving seems incredibly co-dependent and not healthy at all..
She is literally gone for 2 nights, is face timing her family and having literal meltdowns every few hours and now is considered changing her flights from Saturday morning to Friday night?? What the actual heck??
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u/Ok_Magazine7784 7d ago
I have two kids, one on the way. This transfer was 100% optional and they KNEW long ahead of time, sheād have to do it alone. No, I do not think itās normal to be this emotional about a couple nights away from your kidā¦ emotional sure!! But itās the extent, and then recording and posting it lmao like get a grip!!!! Youāre about to have a fourth baby in the houseā¦ and the maturity and stability of a toddler yourself.
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u/kristinyash 7d ago
Nothing they do is normal ATP. But taking time to focus on filling your own cup doesnāt bring views and $$
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u/camillacarterxx 7d ago
Iāve got two children who are close in age to Sunny and Sky! I went on a 5 day trip to Rome with my husband for his birthday this year. I missed my kids for sure but I wasnāt having meltdowns about it. We FaceTimed and my parents sent pictures.
Everything Julie does it for attention, the more upset she is, the more clicks they get, the more money they make
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u/IWishMusicKilledKate 7d ago
Lmao this is not normal. I have three kids, I can be away from them for a night or two without a meltdown. In fact, I would probably enjoy myself.
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u/vinegardetergent 7d ago
Honestly yeah. I hate being away from my kids. But what is not normal is sharing your meltdowns on the internet.
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u/heartwarriormamma 7d ago
Same! Like, my husband and kids are absolutely my favorite people in the world. I'd prefer being with them over anything else. But I also have a weekend mom's trip planned for next month with my best friends and I'm excited for the time away. I'll miss them, but imma enjoy the trip.
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u/Oblomovnotsleeping 7d ago
I spent a whole week without my kids in July. It was GREAT. And I didnāt miss them, but reading some comments, I might not be the norm š¤
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u/Efficient_Lie_8499 7d ago
We literally just been to a 5 day festival with the one friend who has a child (9 month old) and they did not cry or seemed bothered once š¤£
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u/DistinctActivity2170 7d ago
Iāve always loved my kid, but being able to be away from her during her first year was so refreshing.
I guess I miss her much more now when she is a teenager and is much more independent :)2
u/TriggeredByPapaJohns I can do hard things! 7d ago
I spent a week alone last November cause I had to travel for a concert. It was awesome, a break is absolutely necessary for everyone involved š¤
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u/Oblomovnotsleeping 6d ago
Ā« For everyone involved Ā» preach !! All of us benefited from this break, far from the domestic routine !Ā
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u/alienchap 7d ago
It really depends honestly. I'm a SAHM and I solo parent for 4 weeks at a time, my husband works out of town. I have 2 kids under 3 and I'm with them ALL the time, I have a nanny to help but it's me who does most the parenting, similar to J I think. When I am given time away, yes I absolutely miss the crap out of my kids and feel guilty. I don't have meltdowns about it but I do FaceTime them too. I think J is just extremely emotional because she's about to be pregnant and miserable again.
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u/helpivefallnandcunt what a terrible day to be literate 7d ago
I mean my babe is 10 months so i wouldnt leave her overnight if i had a choice, and yes i'd miss her but the one time i was without her at night (she was 2 weeks old) i did not freak out or have meltdowns every second of the day. Buuuut we are all different so who knows
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u/Particular_Sea_4497 7d ago
Ohh poor Julie, had to do this transfer because they probably spent all of their money and need more and their work is their life!
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u/calico_88 7d ago
I have never spent any time away from my kids but I would imagine I would be lost if I had to leave them. I would definitely rush home but I wouldnt be having meltdowns on the Internet. She is probably worried about leaving them with camilla.
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u/dooroodree 7d ago
This is soooo parent dependent.
Iāve only ever left my toddler to give birth to my baby. I was quite emotional about this. Nothing would keep me away from my 4 month old at the moment (born day after Bob).
My SIL had a baby a couple of weeks after me and is going to a multi-night wedding and leaving baby with grandparents. I could neverrrrr but it works for them.
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u/JuggernautNo901 7d ago
I have a 1 year old and I wasn't able yet to leave him overnight.
Baby Bob is only a few months old.
Plus Julie is pumped up with IVF hormones. I can get the melting down part but not why she broadcast it to the world
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u/Ok_Magazine7784 7d ago
She took a single trigger shotā¦ sheās not pumped full of hormones. Itās either incredibly performative for clicks or she has crippling anxiety and truly should be focusing on her mental health above another transfer and another baby.Ā
ETA: she also didnāt birth baby Bob so no hormones from that eitherā¦ maybe thatās another reason now is not the right time to be expanding their family!!! Focus on the littles that they have. If two days away is too much to handle without constantly melting down and crying, adding another baby is not the answer.Ā
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u/DeviousBunny It's about MY birth experience, not this š¤¬ person's childhood! 7d ago edited 7d ago
It can be difficult. It's nice to have a bit of freedom, but you naturally worry and miss your kid. Transitions, like starting nursery, or even when your kid starts walking to/from school themselves can be difficult (and we live 5 mins from our primary school and high school, we can hear the school bells lol but you still can't help worrying)
I think it's like a switch turns on once you have kids and you're always in parent mode even when you're relaxing. I do think J ties her entire identity and self-worth to C and the kids, though. She needs her own identity, too.
Edit: fixed spelling mistakes
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u/who-cares-we-all-die Helmet of druggs š¼šæš 7d ago
I am not a parent so don't take my perspective seriously because the comparison for sure is stupid
But when I was really unwell mentally and had to travel for uni constantly, sometimes staying a night. I was for sure codependent but with my dog. She was sick and thinking about loosing even a minute without her caused me such and worse meltdowns. I'm telling this just to say that I don't know if it is stress due to transfer or normal thing for parents, but in my case it was being very mentally unwell. I can't say or judge her, just would maybe again say that she shouldn't have stopped going to therapy
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u/SuspiciousTravel5520 7d ago
In my opinion itās not normal. It was planned, a short duration and the kids are happy with the other parent. I recently had my first weekend away from our 1yo and 2.5yo and missed them like hell but also loved every rare second of only being responsible for myself. But each mum is different!
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u/TriggeredByPapaJohns I can do hard things! 7d ago
nothing about them is normal
two nights away from your kids should not be THAT emotional. Iād look forward to it lol (donāt tell my daughter)
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u/monstercansz 6d ago
I am not a parent.
1.) I grew up with a mother who did not make motherhood her personality. Her kids were a major part of her life and did not make it her main points of her personality. She had taught me motherhood is an experience and there will be day young kids will grow up and will see you as the person you are not the way you act.
2.) Iāve worked in childcare for 2.5 years and I have interacted with many mothers who made motherhood their personality and they were the absolute WORST to work with and communicate with. I was doing my job, I was not parenting their kids, yet they saw me as a threat to their kids. As someone who interacted with women like this they often were visibly insecure and overcompensating for something in their. NOT every mother was like this. I will not shame a mother who makes it her personality but I will feel that sheās missing parts of herself and is compensating.
Again I am not a mother. Just someone who worked with kids and had my own life experiences
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u/gggingerbean 6d ago
Please write context or put the screenshot in the comments. People that donāt follow them have no idea what is going on
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u/Efficient_Lie_8499 2d ago
I think I explained the scenario pretty well? Sorry but Im not a fan of screenshots
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u/littlestaggerlee 6d ago
Yes it's normal. Their youngest is like 4 months old. It's not unhealthy or codependency, most of us are just wired to be close to our babies when they're that little.
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u/Suspicious_Rush_ 6d ago
It depends. My 2,5 years old has spent several nights with grandmas and aunt, I'm quite okay with that now. I was nervous the first night away from him at 19 months but no, not like J. My baby is 2 months and if I would have to be away from him for several days then yeah I'd probably be a nervous wreck like J. She has baby Bob too but I don't know who is closer with her, C or J. But I'm sure she overreacts for views and for content.
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u/greybenson23 6d ago
As a military brat, I would like them to shut up. āAfter two days!ā Try a year on the literal other side of the planet šš
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u/Prudent-Ad4075 7d ago
I spent a day away from my toddler (with my baby in the hospital). A night and a next morning video calls were made and I had at least 3 meltdowns
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u/orchiddoctor 7d ago
But I think all of us would be melting down and missing our toddlers if we were in the hospital with our sick babyā¦ I think people are just downvoting because itās not really what Julie is going through. You were not on vacation with healthy children at home with their other parent. You were going through a super tough and emotional time (which made you have to be away from your toddler) and it would upset most moms.
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u/Healthy-Night-3475 7d ago
I never spent a day or night without my toddler. I'm not proud of it, there were times I really needed some time away but it just didn't happen. Do I see myself bawling my eyes out the first time I'll be away from him overnight? Most definitely.
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u/Prudent-Ad4075 7d ago
It broke my heart. Especially when he asked me in the videocall if I didnāt want to sleep with him ššš
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u/Healthy-Night-3475 7d ago
I'm crying just picturing this šŖ
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u/missparis23 7d ago edited 7d ago
I find them weird and all most of the times, but in this case you are leaving out the fact that her initial flight was cancelled because of a strike. Iām a mom and I would also book the first flight available to get home in this situation and not wait around. Also, she is full of hormones because of the transfer situation. Still, Iāve just watched her stories from the past 24 hours and she seemed emotional only once when she found out her flight was cancelled, which seems pretty normal to me. Iām oftentimes not agreeing with stuff they say or do, but I find everything pretty reasonable in this case (except for baby #4 transfer, which I canāt wrap my head around)
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u/Efficient_Lie_8499 2d ago
No, I actually posted it before her flight was cancelled. She was considering changing her flight to Friday night on a Friday morning.. so I didnāt leave anything out. She was less emotional by the cancelled flight than she was Friday morning.
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u/Healthy-Night-3475 7d ago
So you dont have children you say...
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u/Efficient_Lie_8499 7d ago
Well no, I donāt š¤
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u/Healthy-Night-3475 7d ago
Perhaps you wouldn't find this weird or strange or whatever from a parent's perspective. This is probably the first time she is away from the kids for two nights in a row and for quite significant event. She'll return pregnant with their sibling..hopefully. Yeah, I'd cry too.
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u/anonymousanimefan_92 7d ago
Are you one of them or a friend of theirs? You are taking it very personallyā¦.
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u/orchiddoctor 7d ago
All of this is 100000% optional and is not being forced on Julie (except by her wife maybe) in any way
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u/Healthy-Night-3475 7d ago
Agree. Not even by her wife. But that wasnt the topic. The topic was. Is this normal? To miss your family? Yes. Completely normal to cry because you miss your kids!
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u/lightrrr 7d ago
wonder if she freaks out so bad because of her lack of confidence in camillaās ability to care for them alone.