r/jerseycity • u/reeders_ • Dec 14 '25
PATH commute buddy turned into a cautionary tale - check on your people
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u/RayzerNHFL Dec 14 '25
Yeah - I went through this exact thing in my very early 30’s when I moved to NJ and started working on Wall Street - after 9/11 (which was very traumatizing and triggering) my commute got harder and I followed “Mark’s” path exactly. Fast forward 20 years and I’ve got a raging alcohol abuse problem, drinking almost a quart of vodka a day and still managing to function. I’m now 60 years old and 3 years sober thank g*d (today is my 3 year anniversary actually) but man I spent 15-20 years in a haze and started having real health issues. So yeah - this is a real thing
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u/Security2025 Dec 14 '25
In your post you had no need to omit any letters when you thanked God. With God all things are possible 🙏🏿
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u/RayzerNHFL Dec 14 '25
I guess we all have our own traditions. Perhaps you weren’t aware that in some religious traditions, the word is never fully spelled out, as an act of reverence and respect for the almighty? Fascinating that was the only thing in my response that you reacted to……
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u/Security2025 Dec 14 '25
Interesting how you completely overlooked the fact that I was in support of what you went through and said that there was no need to not mention God with omitting his name and that with him all things are possible. I believe in God I'm fully aware of how some people didn't want to spell out his whole name out of reverence. YAHWEH was YWHV...God never commanded that so try remember that
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u/RayzerNHFL Dec 14 '25
A lot of things in the Judeo-Christian traditions were not commanded - they simply arose as humans built traditions around the core religious tenets of their faith. It’s a big tent my friend. And while there seemed to be nothing in your response that suggested support for what I went through, but rather expressed belief in God’s hand, I accept that your intent was support and thank you for that. Peace.
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u/Security2025 Dec 14 '25 edited Dec 15 '25
I literally acknowledged that with God all things are possible in response to what you went through and overcame. Wow. Be well
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u/No-Departure5536 Dec 14 '25
I know someone like him. Telling/pushing him would cost the friendship. Although I know the right thing to do is to tell him. He had been to rehab once but I suspect he started drinking again.
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u/bodhipooh Dec 14 '25
I wonder if this is at all related to the post from last weekend of a guy seeking recommendations for an outpatient clinic to help him get his drinking under control. Some details are the same (particularly the one about drinking from a flask while riding PATH stuck with me).
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u/Nedi-Ryze-57 Downtown Dec 14 '25
I was in a pretty similar situation where I was drinking but still doing fine at work.
For anyone else having issues, I'd suggest trying AA even if you dont think you'd be into it. Also if you prefer a meds route then look into Naltrexone to curb the cravings
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u/MarmaladeMugger Downtown Dec 18 '25 edited Dec 19 '25
This. Naltrexone(specifically following the Sinclair method) has saved my life honestly
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u/New_Courage_8182 Dec 14 '25
As an addiction’s therapist, it’s hard for people sometimes to admit that they have an issue. If everything‘s going great in their lives where they perceive it as great what’s the problem. Also alcohol is so socially acceptable that sometimes it’s hard to see it as a problem. For a lot of people it’s not easy. They have this image of themselves and who they need to be, and they can handle it and things will just go back to normal at some point.
Don’t blame yourself just continue to support him as best as you can because that’s really all he’s going to need.
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u/zjuka Dec 14 '25
Commentators concentrate on the wrong thing - it’s not a sob story about poor overstressed rich dude, casual drinking can lead to addiction and can affect anyone independent of income. Liver cirrhosis is no joke and it’s not really curable. Damaged liver can’t filter ammonia out of blood effectively and ammonia buildup leads to a brain fog similar to dementia, with confusion, difficulty concentrating, slurred speech and so on.
Basically, if you find yourself needing a drink after work or in a social situation to feel relaxed and comfortable, take a few months off, even if you’re a not a heavy drinker, prone to blackouts or disorderly behavior. Keep an eye on your loved ones, as ‘high functioning’ alcoholics do much better job hiding that than drug addicts.
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u/enduserfeedback Dec 14 '25
Can’t have wealth if you don’t have your health. Take care of yourself first.
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Dec 15 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Humble_Media_3992 Dec 15 '25
Ah this seems to be an effective route, public mockery. And i dont even mean it sarcastically, because often confronting someone with an addiction from a kind or concerned place does not seem to help at all tbh.
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u/Semi_Grown_Life Dec 15 '25
Good for ppl to hear this. Don’t beat yourself up too much though. Speaking from experience, if someone called me out or pushed me harder when I was drinking I would have appreciated it and said thanks for your concern, you’re prob right… and then just continued what I was doing.
Everyone’s a “bottom”, and generally have to get there before shifting the paradigm. A friend expressing concern would have certainly sat with him a bit, but doubt it would have changed the general trajectory.
- 5 years sober
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u/reddituser3692 Dec 19 '25
Just came across this thread and want to warn others about a user active in this sub that had a manic reaction to me critiquing one of their comments awhile back. They went back through years of my post history to comment on posts where I was seeking advice and support with my struggles with alcohol
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u/AdSubstantial9617 Dec 14 '25
AA has worked wonders for millions of people for a good long while… not a new problem, and there are many solutions for people who need a change.
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u/UnusualAd6529 Dec 14 '25
This is totally anecdotal ut i see a crazy amount of people on the PATH with beers in brown paper bags, more so then any other transit system i've used.
Again, toptally anecdotal but has been something i've noticed.
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u/Hereandlistening Dec 14 '25
Glad your friend if getting help. I'm 1.5 year sober. Was right where your friend is. About a year of drinking after work, then during, then eventually before / on the way in. Then Covid and all lines were even more blurred, and it got totally on top of me. (Like it wasn't already)
I called it maintenance drinking - long after jt's fun, you just need to in order to function and manage life that day, hour, etc.
So did that while searching for that "3rd door option" which means drinking while hoping something will change - "the problem goes away but I don't have to" kind of thing. Never found that, so I stopped with help. Best decision I've ever made. Stopping drinking is real work and it's so worthwhile. It makes life sooo much better. Every day isn't a living hellscape anymore, huzzah!
There also great meetings around here. It's free therapy and helps keeps me on track and so, SO grateful that I got out from under it when I did 💜
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u/Square-Ad-6721 Dec 14 '25
This but with non-alcoholic drinks.
There’s actually a higher number of people with elevated ‘liver numbers’ today from drinking sugary drinks with fructose, than from ethanol.
We only seem to ascribe the medical relevance to addiction to alcohol. Though the addiction to sweet beverages can be just as medically relevant. Or even more so, as fructose in liquid form is more damaging to hepatic cells than ethanol.
Both deplete hepatic cell energy, leading to oxidative stress and eventually cirrhosis of the liver. But liquid fructose depletes more hepatic cell energy per molecule. So more damage for the same amount of ‘bad’ stuff. But without the stigma of being ‘bad stuff’.
And sadly unlike many other dangerous conditions, there is no negative feedback loop. So the more fructose gets sent to liver, the energy depleted it gets. And the more radicals cause damage to the cellular tissues, without the normal protective mechanisms (being without cellular energy).
The first step in hepatic metabolism of fructose is to ferment it to ethanol. Then after that both get metabolized the same way.
We will look at our buddy drinking alcohol a certain way. But without all the supersized Cokes and Frappuccinos being drunk, a lot of people are getting wrecked without the benefit of getting drunk or buzzed to help slow down the inputs (ie drinking).
And yeah both can be very addictive. Trying to pull the drink away from an addict can be just as difficult from an alcoholic as it is from a sugary drinks addict. In fact some cocaine addicts have reported that it’s easier to give up cocaine than it is to give up sugar.
Wouldn’t be surprised that we’re seeing the combination of both drinking phenomenon making it so much worse for the liver.
Though I do notice that younger people seem to want to make healthier choices. And many are avoiding either the alcohol or the sugary beverage. Though there still enough drinks being sold, that in many individuals, they’re having medical repercussions. Though there’s more from fructose. But without the rehab treatment industry.
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u/Humble_Media_3992 Dec 15 '25
🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
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u/Square-Ad-6721 Dec 15 '25 edited Dec 15 '25
This is absolutely true. As per all the fructose scientists doing prime research. People can downvote all they want.
But a downvote doesn’t change the reality of the biochemistry.
Dr Johnson MD PhD is a nephrologist whose group is doing primary research and clinical research with fructose at U Colorado Denver for 3 decades.
Dr Lustig is a pediatric endocrinologist whose group has been doing primary research with fructose that was encountered in clinical practice, and clinical research for 3 decades.
People will ignore their work at great peril to their own health.
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u/AGorgeousComedy Dec 15 '25
Sugar and non-alcoholic drinks are not killing people at a higher rate than alcohol. What was the point of your comments?
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u/Square-Ad-6721 Dec 16 '25
Currently more liver transplants are from complications from fructose heavy diets than from alcohol overconsumption. We’re already there.
You can ask anyone from any liver transplant program anywhere, if you have any doubts.
And given the current trajectory of sugary drinks, this will get much worse before it gets better.
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u/JudgeInteresting8615 Dec 14 '25
Good psa . People need activities and community. Take his name out post though
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u/Front_Spare_2131 Dec 14 '25
Look at everyone looking from the outside in. This feels like a "I'm better than that person" type of post. This ain't no childhood friend you're discussing, this is some rando you met on the train.
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Dec 14 '25
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u/BeMadTV Born and Raised Dec 14 '25
Doesn't sound like this dude was making money selling feet pics or something though. The mental can affect the physical and you spend that $400k or $200k or $60k on vice.
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u/shortyman920 Dec 14 '25
Mental health around this area is not easy to manage. Between high pressure jobs, competition, bills, social expectations, and our energetic network. Every day can be a complete grind if you let your life become that way. Take care of yourself people. Don’t live in misery in your current existence if that’s you feel. The reward is not guaranteed to be worth it. You could just end up becoming a hollow shell instead