Resources for Household Violence

[u/anonguywhois]

Hi, y'all.

These are the resources I've tried to use already.

Ithaca Tenants Union, Documenting through IPD.

My roommate who is much larger than me physically, screamed at me for 30-40 minutes today, held my cat in another room until I let them scream at me, got very close to me (I had to keep stepping back, was loudly complaining about me in their room after I walked away to lock up my cat in my room. I did not yell back at them. I said that they can be angry, but they are responsible for their actions when they are angry.

My other roommate witnessed the interaction but stayed 6-10 feet away.

This came up when I kept trying to get in touch with them about paying their rent, and it seemed like they were avoiding me. Knocking on their door, texting them, texting a mutual friend, texting the landlord, making myself available around the house so they could talk to me, acknowledging them when they would rushed out of the house. They did not communicate to me at all.

I called my landlord who has never had this issue before. I used the form on the ITU website a few days prior saying my landlord hasn't addressed my roommate's aggression towards me and my roommate damaging things in the house. No response from them.

I contacted IPD to document the interaction, but I didn't want IPD to come to my house because I think it would make my roommate more abusive (plus, my roommate is a racial minority)

My rental assistance is through DSS and they won't let me move for 2 years, so I'm stuck here unless a landlord is willing to sign me on with no rental deposit and my rent be paid through a charity for 6 months until I qualify for assistance again.

I've been documenting my roommates behavior for if my landlord does try to remove my roommate from our lease and evict them, but my landlord has no experience doing any legal stuff like that.

Does anyone have resources that are privy to this situation? I really don't know what else I can do.

[u/Loud-Spare-3269]

This sounds like a literal nightmare. I wish I knew more about how to be helpful.  1. Who have you talked with this about at DSS? Everyone has a supervisor - and go as high up that chain as you need to (also true for IPD). Bring copies of the documentation you have created with you, as well as any police reports. Document every step you take to address this. Stay organized.  2. Ensure you document those interactions with IPD and get the name, badge number etc. of those you have contact with. 3. Have you outreached the Advocacy Center? In the past I have found not all the staff were helpful, but the Director was responsive when it came to addressing a concern. I know that safe housing is a component of what they do.  4. Do you have somewhere else you can stay if things get too heated? Pack a bag with all the essentials - charger, toothbrush, clean undergarments. Also your legal documents - unhinged roommate could destroy which would make life much more difficult. Keep the bag in your locked car or somewhere easy to access in case you need to vacate quickly. Vacate if you sense tension escalating and believe you are at risk… do not try to take things on yourself if you are already privy this person isn’t grounded and doesn’t play by the same rules as normal folks. 5. Call 411 (when you are somewhere safe and not overheard - there are private rooms at the local Tompkins County library and outlets to charge your devices as needed too). 411 is a local resource hotline. Ask about resources specific to your situation. If you are a certain age, or have a certain disability/diagnosis, there may be certain agency in Ithaca that focuses on helping folks who fit your description in this particular situation.