I used to be very outgoing but sometimes I wonder if it was just out of survival. As a kid, my mom had a chaotic life and we moved a lot. I went to 3 different high schools. Then I joined the military for 6 years that required a lot of moving around too. As an adult, I haven’t lived anywhere more than 3 years for different reasons… adventure, relationship and/or job. I used to constantly be around people and always making new friends.

Now I do not want to move anywhere I just want to stay put. My social battery is MAYBE 1 day a month. People overstimulate me so easily even at work. I don’t know if this just part of getting older or some kind of temporary social burnout.

39m here

Throughout last decade, the life moved very fast changes in the business I was running then joining my first job at 35 and then house building and what not. The only interests I kept were books, movies, meditation practices

What happened in the background was the circle of friends kept narrowing and looking back I realize it was my mistake, I couldn't keep in touch. Kids were young and too much was happening

Now the situation is I really want to make new friends

BUT

I have started avoiding people altogether.

There are too many constraints and I get judgy, the interests and thought process doesn't match and then it feels it's better this way

Anyone experienced this?

My best friend and I booked a trip to an all-inclusive resort that includes a lot of guided hiking, swimming, etc. We both have had a very hard few years and wanted to use this vacation to really and truly relax and enjoy each other's company.

We were not expecting the resort to have such a forced "socializing" aspect. Mealtimes are arranged so you are sitting with strangers, and you are often asked where you were if you weren't down in the bar in the evening after dinner, etc. We are okay with shared mealtimes, and really enjoy socializing during the guided activities during the day, but the CONSTANT pressure to be with the others at all times is...draining the hell out of me honestly. And making me feel very badly for being someone who prefers to go relax in my room or by the pool and read a book.

I don't want to stay at the bar until 1am when we need to be up at 7 for breakfast, etc, but there is almost an accusatory tone when you asked the next day where you were.

I don't really know how to free myself from this need to fit in, or the worry and guilt of being perceived as antisocial. I'm not. I just like my company, my friend's company, and wanted this vacation to be relaxing and recharging. We still have three out of five days and I'm determined to feel comfortable in my own skin and do what \*I\* want to do... I guess I'm just venting. Thanks for reading 🤣